"Why are you doing this now? Couldn't this wait until tomorrow?"
I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Like it has for the past two weeks? No, James, I've been trying to figure this out and you keep putting it off. I need to know if you can come on my family's vacation or not."
"And I've told you that I don't know. My schedule is always changing so I don't know if I'll be able to go for the whole thing or just a few days or what. I just don't know." He tried to say in a calm voice but it was teetering on shouting.
I was sick of hearing 'I don't know' for the past two weeks and I burst. "Stop saying I don't know and find out!" I screamed.
James glared at me and then turned to look out the window. We're riding in a limo to an event that I begrudgingly went to. I think the main reason I came along is because I knew it would give me a minute with James. He's been so busy with work I've seen him only at night and that's when its 3am and he's just gotten home and joining me in bed. But when I say joining me in bed I mean just to sleep. We haven't had a good night in bed in a very long time. Which is probably adding to the tension. Whenever we do get a chance to be together I either bug him about this or we just bicker about other dumb things.
After a few minutes of excruciating silence, I break it. "I don't really care at this point whether or not you go, I just need an answer."
"Then I'm not going." He says sternly.
"Fine." I say. I didn't want this to happen like this but I needed to know and it feels like he's been avoiding it for two weeks. I feel like a nagging housewife rather than his fun girlfriend that goes to parties with him, like I used to be. I hate it but I guess this is what it's come to. Maybe now that I have an answer we'll be able to get back to the way things were.
I reach my hand to James', "Are we gonna have fun tonight?" I asked trying to make peace.
"I don't kn-" James cuts himself off, remembering how the 'I don't know' answer has been pissing me off. "Maybe. I'm kind of in a bad mood now." James doesn't give me a chance to apologize or say anything. "I want to go do stuff with you and I want to go with your family on vacations. Unfortunately I'm working a really intense job that I love, but you're making it really hard to love this job by making me feel shitty about not being able to be with you."
"I didn't mean-" I start but James just continues.
"I don't care if you meant to make me feel bad about it but you did. I thought you understood that this job is really demanding. I didn't think you'd be one of the people that would make me regret following my dream." James takes his hand away.
God damn it. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I can't leave. Not only are we in the middle of moving traffic but also I need to show James that I support him even if we're in a fight. But now it's really hard. I know that with his job it's difficult to nail down dates but I figured he could at least get this figured out this one time. I don't want to make him feel like crap. I hate that such a little thing caused such a huge fight. And it hasn't just been this. It's been a million other little things too. Like not emptying the dishwasher completely. Or leaving towels on the bathroom floor. Or leaving the door locked at night.
The rest of the car ride is silent. I wish I could just say a word and have it all be okay. That I'm not upset he can't come. That I don't care that this is what I'll have to deal with whenever I try to plan something. I'll learn to deal. But I don't think it's that simple. I think there's gonna have to be more to this apology.
We finally get to the event and prepare to get out of the car. James gets out first and then takes my hand. Normally this would be a sign of a silent apology but it's really just so that the media doesn't think anything is going wrong. I hate that we have to fake happiness but it's better than the media grilling James about what's wrong.
I followed James as we walked the red carpet. He's in a casual suit with a dark blue tie. I'm in a casual, strapless dress that's the same color as his tie. We pose but I'm not really feeling it so it wasn't all that enjoyable. We walked up to one of the interviewers waiting and I stayed behind James as I usually do. I'm not famous. I'm just a part time college girl that gets to go on these crazy dates. Even though I'm not part of the interview I can still hear most of what they're saying.
"Why don't we do a double interview with your girl here?" The interviewer asked. Oh. I guess I'm game, especially if it helps to paint this picture that everything thing is fine.
I start to make my way next to James but he glances back at me, I smile, and he looks back to the interviewer. "Nah, she doesn't really like this sort of things." What the fuck? Was that his subtle way of saying he was still pissed. Did he think I would do something petty or say something to make him look bad? If that's what he thought I was going to do then that's what he was gonna get.
I backed away from James and the interviewer. Neither of them noticed my absence because they were both too focused on James. I headed straight into the party after checking in with the bouncer that I was in fact on the list. I walked in looking for the bar. I was gonna make James regret ignoring me. I ordered my favorite drink, downed it, and then ordered a second one.
I couldn't believe he was going to just block me out like that. Just decide what I was going to do. I'm so mad but I don't want to be too irrational. I'm not gonna like, sleep with some other guy. I just need to do something small. Something that will fill my desire for risk but won't be too much damage for James' image because even though he's being an absolute dick to me I'm not that kind of girl. And I care about him more than I have ever cared about a guy before. I don't want to completely ruin this because of a stupid vacation.
I walk around the party for a little bit, half thinking of things I could do and half looking for James. I don't want to go through all the effort of pissing him off when he's not even there. After about 30 minutes I finally see James walk in. I still have no idea what I'm going to do but now I know he's here and hopefully looking for me. He goes straight to the bar while I stay right where I am, which is about 30 feet from James.
I'm so focused on him that I don't realize when another guy walks up next to me. "Uh, hey." I jump a little at his voice. My heart skips a beat when I realize who it is, Dak Zevon. "Oh sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You just seemed lonely so I thought I might talk with you or something…" He's nervous, it's cute. "Are you here with someone?" He asks.
I look back to James but he hasn't seemed to notice me. "Kind of. But I'm not right now, so…"
I'm not good at flirting when I'm really just using someone. I've never done this before. But Dak is very good at flirting and he keeps the conversation light and playful for 20 minutes or so. It's not until Dak mentions that he thinks he's seen me with James that I remember I'm using Dak to make James jealous. I look back at the bar to find James glaring at me with the same look he gave me in the car. Maybe this was a little too much.
I turn back to Dak. "I need to use the restroom." I didn't really need to, I just figured I'd freshen up and go talk to James. I just need to separate myself from Dak. "It was nice meeting you." Dak says and smiles. The way he smiles seems to say that he sort of knew this wasn't going anywhere. He also probably noticed James and knew he was stepping on some toes.
I followed the signs to the bathroom but still managed to get lost. Now I'm in some weird secluded room with no furniture in it but a mirror and a lamp. Good thing I didn't actually have to use the bathroom. I check my make up in the mirror and count to thirty, preparing to head back out to a steaming James.
Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, SLAM.
I turn around and see James standing in front of the shut door.
My heart's racing. I'm scared. I've never seen James look so mad. "I, uh, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. I just needed a drink, and, yeah."
"What did you and Dak talk about for so long?" He says darkly.
My mind goes blank. "I, uh, I don't remember."
James chuckles, but there's something different about it. "You can't even remember one thing? That's weird because it seemed like you too were very wrapped up in each other." James starts moving close to me and I sort of just freeze. This isn't like James, but it's kind of hot. I don't know if that's what he's going for or if he's actually mad and I'm just being horny.
"James, Dak and I were just talking." I'm trying to think of an excuse for why he shouldn't be mad when I remember why I was mad at him. "Just like you were talking to that reporter."
James shakes his head. "That's not the same and you know it. I didn't think you were up to faking happiness after what happened in the car."
"Oh yeah right. You were just worried about what I would say. You know I would fake anything for you…" I paused, "It wouldn't've been the first time at least." I said quietly.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" James said now moving a foot away from me.
I stare into his eyes, trying to figure out if he was getting me wet on purpose or if he was oblivious to that. "I think you know exactly what it means."
James scoffs, "Are you telling me you don't enjoy yourself with me…" He seems to have trouble phrasing it, "sexually?" He says in a whisper.
Now I know James is playing a game. "I'm not saying I don't enjoy it. Just maybe that I could enjoy it more." That's all a lie, but I know it'll really bug him.
James stares into my eyes. "Don't lie." I can see he's trying to figure out whether or not I'm lying but I'm not budging.
We continue to have this staring contest for who knows how long. The anticipation of waiting to see who makes the next move is incredibly hot. Finally James makes a sudden move. He grabs my neck and right under my dress to my thigh as he goes in for a kiss. It's hot and passionate. It doesn't take his tongue long to find my mouth. He wraps my leg around his waist, getting right in between me. My hands grab James' hips to pull him closer.
We stay like this for a while, just making out. But James' hand slides its way further up my leg until he's now massaging my ass. From there it doesn't take long for him to get up and ready. Are we really going to do this, here, in this… public place? I'm game. I just need to do one thing.
I take one hand and tug on James' hair to pull his lips off mine. He growls at first but when he sees my apologetic eyes, his expression softens. "I'm sorry." I say.
"I'm sorry too." And nothing more needs to be said. We both understand. I thought this fight was going to really cause a major problem in our relationship unless we talked about it, but I don't feel like we need to. We both want to get this out in the best way we can. Sex.
We go back to kissing, but now my tongue is in his mouth. I put my hands on his shoulders to pull myself up higher, placing my groin just slightly above his. Up higher I can feel his member pressing through his pants and against me. God I need this bad.
And apparently James needs it bad as well because he rips off my panties, and I mean just tears apart the fabric. He then plunges his middle and ring finger inside me while his thumb rubs my clit. He gets a rhythm going quickly. Oh shit. I break away from James lips to breath since I can't seem to manage breathing out my nose while he's doing this to me.
"You like that don't you?" He whispers into my ear.
I whimper and nod, leaning my head against the wall. James takes this opportunity to attack my chest with his lips. He pins me against the wall as he takes his free hand to the top of my dress and shoves it down exposing my breasts. I didn't realize how cold it was, but it's only temporary because James wraps his lips around one breast and takes his other hand to knead my other breast.
I feel like I should've burst by now since it's been so long since I've had it, but James hasn't forgotten how to work my body. He knows when I'm close and will then pull back a little, making sure I don't come too soon.
I crane my neck down the James' ear, "Now" I keep whimpering, over and over, but he seems to be content with taunting me. I start undoing his pants but he doesn't move. I can't take this anymore. I lick the shell of his ear, "Now" I say in a more commanding voice and then bite down on his earlobe.
That gets his attention. He takes his lips away from my chest and focuses on getting in me. I shove down his pants and he reaches in his boxers and pulls out his hard on. He gently places the tip at my slit. He then looks up at me with that dark look that I'm starting to love, "Say my name" he demands.
I curl my lips into a smile and kiss him, letting it linger, tugging on his lip. "James." I say forcefully.
He gives into my need and enters. It's pure bliss. I think the fact that it's been so long makes it better. Also, knowing that we're over whatever petty fights we were having makes it all the easier to let go completely. James doesn't waste anytime taking it slow because we both know we need it, hard. He's hammering so hard my ass hits the wall every time he thrusts.
I put my hands on his neck but he just takes them and pins them above my head. He then attacks my lips with his own. I don't know how he can maneuver his body in all these ways but I'm so glad he can.
Although James was able to hold me back for so long he has a much harder time holding himself back because only after a few minutes I can tell he's dying to release. I break our lips enough to manage out a few words, "Ready… when… you are" I say between kisses. He slows it down a bit, making sure that every time he hits inside me it's slow and hard. In the next moment we're both climaxing and moaning against each other's skin.
I rest my forehead on the little area where James' neck meets his chest, feeling his chest rise and fall heavily. When I feel James' breath even out I left my head to meet his gaze.
"No more fighting." He says. And even though I agree, I can't help but want all of that again.