"Chibi!" Envy dragged Rose from the hem of her shirt.

"You're just in time to help me kill this pathetic human," Envy grinned, he acted like this was the most normal conversation in the world. Edward glared and tried to break away Envy's iron grip

"Envy let Rose go," he said dangerously low. Purple eyes narrowed, red burned in the pupils that screamed hell fire.

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so," Edward slapped away Envy's hand. Feeling the iron grip release her shirt, Rose's eyes darted around, looking for an escape route. But within a millisecond of her freedom chains warped around her arm.

"What makes you think I'm going to listen to you?" Envy glared, feeling his inner rage come out. But he knew he didn't want to take it out on the chibi.

"Envy just let her go; she's my friend you know." Envy was close to becoming vicious, Edward could feel it as the normally violet eyes glowed red, red like the philosopher's stone.

"No can do Chibi," Envy smirked when he saw he hit a nerve. "But it's like I said, its business not personal," a little white lie bounced off his tongue.

"Well why can't you just let her go and run? I'm sure Lust won't find out." Edward's eye pleaded like a child begging for a toy.

"No, now get out of my way," Envy said, teeth bearing to show he was about to lose his temper. Unfortunately the bull headed side of the alchemist came into play, his arms crossed with a glare in his attitude. Envy scoffed at the blonde's attempt to stop him, he quickly just tossed him to the side so he could start the torture session again.

"Envy, I said stop it!" Envy felt something or more like someone tugging at his hair. The palm tree fell backwards after Edo pulled too hard.

"UGH!" The alchemist felt a tremendous amount of weight crush his ribs. Completely trapped Edward squirmed around, trying to get the kind of dazed sin off him before his premature death from being squashed to death. He grimaced at the thought, that colonel bastard would surely get a kick out of that. Eventually after a while something clicked into his brain. The flailing arms stopped and slowly wrapped around the figure on top of it.

"What the hell are you doing?" Envy glared, he tried to get up but the blond had something else in mind.

"Please Envy just let her go," Ed mumbled as he held the green haired sin closer to him. Blood lingered in his green hair, the putrid smell caused Edward's nose to wrinkle up. He always hated the stench from the crimson liquid.

"Please," Edward mumbled into Envy's shoulder. The sin felt his rapid breathing and didn't realize how furious he truly was, glancing over with scolding eyes he saw the brunette flinch as he made eye contact.

She still didn't move, probably still unsure if she could or not. Slowly the glare painted on his face turned into an annoyed scowl. Ed strained to hear what Envy mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Envy repeated what he said, but he slurred words quickly making it sound like a foreign language.

"What?" Now true irritation displayed on the pale, milk face as he whipped his head away from the chibi.

"I said, fine, she can go." He rolled off the now, arrogant alchemist, to stare a hole at the ground. Edward smirked as he walked over; put his hands on Envy's shoulders.

"See that wasn't so hard was it?"

"Scram and I don't want to ever hear from you again, got it? Or next time, chibi might not be here to stop me," Rose nodded; she gathered what remained of her sanity and sprinted off. Envy sighed; Lust was going to kill him if she ever finds out.

"Don't worry, we'll probably never hear from here again."

"You better hope you're right, because if I get in trouble with Dante about this, I'm dragging you down with me." Edward warmly laughed in the cold wind.

"Okay, we'll both get our skulls cracked open when the time comes." Envy lips formed a semi smile.

"Yeah."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay this next part is a huge time skip to around March; you'll see why I made it like that. I think you might be pleasantly surprised. Oh and Alphonse has his body back now. But Edward still has his automail. Don't ask I just felt like he needed the automail parts.

"Happy birthday wrench girl!" Winry glared but welcomed the hug from the sin. Alphonse and Edward insisted on throwing her a party, although she thinks the only reason Envy came was because of the cake.

"Hey Winry so how does it feel to be old now," the mechanic friendly punched Edward in the arm.

"Hey we're only separated by a year you know?" she said with a fake annoyance.

"You'll get used to it, "Roy stated, he was probably somewhere off flirting with anything in a skirt, preferably a mini skirt.

"Hey guys, so what do we do now?" Riza, Pinako, Roy, Alphonse, Edward, Envy, Paninya, and Winry all sat around, looking bored but that's probably because they were.

"Well I best be heading off to bed now," Granny got up from her chair.

"Are you sure about that? We could always-"

"Nah don't worry about me, parties are meant for young people." The room was silent except for the quiet foot steps as Pinako went off to sleep.

"Whew now that there's no one to stop us," mischief glinted in Mustang's eyes.

"Anybody want a beer?" Alphonse, Edward, and Winry all shook their head in annoyance. While the rest including the sin, nodded.

"Aww come on Blondie," Envy shoved a bottle in Edward's irritated face

"Please?" his puppy eyes begged.

"No Envy and you know I won't," his arms crossed, confirming his answer.

"Ed, stop being such an uptight nark," the alchemist's mouth dropped open to find Winry a little more than tipsy.

"Winry, what are you doing?" The girl looked confused, glanced at the bottle she held and back at the alchemist.

"Drinking, duh." She said it like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"But we're not old enough to," Ed whined seeing no one was on his side.

"Lay off Nii-san, one sip won't hurt you." Edward's head whipped around to find his usually sweet and innocent little brother looking more than piss drunk.

"Al! You can't drink!" he reached over to snatch away the poison in his hands; Al was pretty coordinated for a wasted guy.

"Come on just one sip," he pressed the bottle against the blonde's stubborn lips. But after seeing, he wouldn't budge; Alphonse gave up and stumbled away.

Edward got a cup from the cupboard, he really needed a soda. (AUTHOR'S NOTE: I KNOW SODA WASN'T INVENTED BUT I COULDN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER ICED BEVERAGE BESIDES BEER)

"Hey Roy can you hand me some ice?" Roy's eyes lit up for a moment before a smirk formed on his mouth.

"Sure full metal, I'll get you some ice," Roy snickered. Edward raised an eyebrow but assumed it was the alcohol laughing.

"Thanks," Mustang looked like he was about to burst out into laughter any moment. Edward couldn't figure out why everyone was looking at him funny.

"Hey chibi," Edward practically spit out his coke as Envy slapped him on the back.

"We're gonna play the "I've never" game," Envy seemed unusually happy.

"Yeah and?"

"You're gonna play too," his gloved hand dragged the unwilling blond over to the circle. Edward looked around to find Riza and Roy laughing over something, Winry indulging her face in cake, Paninya passed out on the couch, and Alphonse playing with a very fascinating piece of string.

"Okay I'll start, I've never slept with a dude," Roy said. Envy was the only one who took a sip of his drink.

"Your turn," Mustang nudged Riza. For a moment she looked like she was about to shoot him, luckily her gun was removed as soon as she walked in.

"Okay, I've never streaked in public before," Envy and surprising, so did Edward. The blonde's face turned red as he felt all eyes stare at him.

"I was in 2nd grade!" Edward scowled. Everyone's eyes rolled. Edward eye vision started to become a little hazy, but he felt great, the sugar from the coke must be give him a little extra energy, well at least that's what he thinks.

"I've never called Edward short," Al snickered as he saw everyone drink at once. Edward fumed as he began to call out a string of various rants and curses.

"Okay I've never sang before, Winry stated, and to her surprise, no body even took a sip!

"Really you guys haven't sung before?" everyone sort of shrugged it off.

"Your turn Edo, Envy nudges at the spaced out blond.

"Oh…um…I've never…um…slept with anyone before?" Edo practically had a panic attack when he saw everyone, and I mean everyone take a sip. Even Alphonse! Alfonse Elric, his little brother. He might not be as innocent as he thought, but come on!

"ALPHONSE?" Edward clutched his left chest in a dramatic way. Al rolled his eyes and said, "I'm fifteen, aren't teenagers supposed to be this way?"

"But seriously, am I the only one who's still a virgin?" they all glanced at each other before saying "pretty much." Suddenly Edward felt a husky voice breath down his neck,

"You know we can easily change that chibi-san." Of course it didn't take a genius to figure out who that was.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: warning! Lemon ahead! Not a lime but a lemon, yep you're all probably like "finally! Yay smut!")

The blond was thrown against the bed; he felt a relief when he saw he made it home in one piece. The blond closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again he found a little surprise in front of him.

"Envy!" he yelled in shock as he backed up at the bed. Envy stood there, wearing nothing but the black headband he always wore.

"W-w-what are y-y-you d-doing?" he tried to sound enraged, disgusting but it came out sounding afraid. Damn his ukeness! Envy tilted his head to the side in a cute way; his lips formed a pout as asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"What do you mean Edo?"

"You k-know exactly what I mean," his golden eyes couldn't help but wander down south. He turned away, his blush had betrayed him.

"Like what you see?" he formed a smirk, Edward's eyes widen as he shook his head really, really fast.

"Aww come on now, I thought little boys weren't supposed to lie."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE'S A LITTLE TINY, PATHETIC SHRIMP!"

"Well then let's see how small you really are."

The sin pounced on the gasping, confused Edo. Quickly loosening the belt he felt something bulging against the black, leather pants.

"S-s-stop it Envy!" he swatted Envy's hands away. Like he was just zapped, he retreated his hand like he was just caught in a mousetrap.

"Aww is chibi happy to see me?" the amethyst eyed sin purred.

"J-just stop it!" he said with a pout.

"Come on just let me see how big it is," Envy once again made a grab for it but was instantly stopped.

"Why should I?"

"Hey, we're dating so this shouldn't be a problem, right?" Edward crossed his arms but saw Envy wasn't going to give up. He let out a sigh, knowing he would regret this later but…

"Alright but it's a look, okay?" Envy perked up and nodded. Slowly he pulled down the leather, constricting pants left only one piece of clothing left. Becoming impatient, Envy lost control let his lustful side rip off the boxers covering Edo's shaft.

Edward felt scarlet crawl up his cheeks he covered himself with his hands. Envy quickly seized both hands, and put them over the blonde's head against the bedpost.

Envy stared in hunger at Edward's length, it was longer than he expected.

"Okay you saw it now let me go," Edward squirmed in Envy's grasp.

"Well you can't expect me not to fuck your brains out after seeing that," sensing the chibi was about to protest he slammed his mouth against the blonde's. While he felt him melt into his arms, he let one hand slide down toward Edo's little friend.

Edward gasped at the sudden contact, he felt a warm hand grasp around his length.

"E-Envy what are you doing?" he exclaimed, he felt a thousand suns burn redness on his face.

"Neh? Why trying to make you feel good," he smirked as he saw Edward's face when he started to move his hand. Edward breathed heavily, letting out a little moan here and there, the hand felt so alien and bizarre but he didn't dare to let it stop.

He let out a sputtering gasp when he felt a new type of pleasure. He looked to find Envy gently sucking the tip of his length.

"E-Envy? Ah-hh-ah-hh!" he stuttered random syllables as he felt Envy moving closer down his shaft. Envy smiled like the Cheshire cat in his head, if this is Edward now, what will he be like when the real fun starts?Envy wanted to test his screamer theory so he went all the way down the length and hummed a random note. His hypothesis was correct; Edo screamed his name as he continued to moan in pleasure. The green haired sin glance up to find lust clouded the boys golden eyes; he was getting jealous that chibi was having all the fun.

"Ah-hh-ah Envy! I'm going to come!" Just as he was approaching the peak of the mountain the warm mouth retreated. Edward frowned from the sudden lack of warmth.

"Why are you teasing me?" Edward pouted in a cute way. Envy laughed as he pushed the alchemist down on a pillow.

"I wanted you to wait until the real fun starts." Envy chuckled when he saw Edo still didn't get it.

"You'll see," the homunculus replied as he pressed two fingers against the blonde's lips.

"Suck," he ordered, Edward's face screamed with confusion but obediently did what he was told.

He removed his fingers from the mouth when he thought it was lubricated enough.

"This might sting a little okay?"

"Wait, what are you doing-AH!" Edward closed his eyes and bucked upwards only to have a certain sin push him back down.

"Shh! It's okay, just relax okay?" Edward nodded as he felt the finger move around in him, it kind of hurt but it mostly just felt weird. After a while it just turned to a strange feeling rather than a painful one, just when he was relaxed Envy added another finger. The alchemist bit his lip that one definitely hurt!

"Is it too much?" Envy paused for the chibi to answer.

"No…It's okay…move," Edward said between breathes. Envy started to move slowly, noticing Edward was tensing up he used his other hand to rub up and down on his length. Thrusting around, he tried to find that spot. He knew he had found it when Ed screamed an awkward moan. Now that he knew where it was, he kept banging his fingers against over and over again, never letting Edward recover from the pleasure.

His moans were distorted, his kept breath irregularly.

"Envy I'm going to ah-ah-"just when he was about to climax, the homunculus removed his fingers from the blond.

"Stop doing that!" Edward said, now he was definitely angry. He felt a hand push him back down; he didn't get much of a warning except for his legs being spread out and a rhetorical "ready?" Edward hissed as he bit his bottom lip, he felt the crimson blood draw from the bite. But he focused more on the giant length in him. He struggled to remain relaxed, even after being prepared he felt new type of pain.

"Are…you okay?" Envy tried to control himself from fucking the brains out of the blond.

"Yeah, just give me a moment," he waited but the constricting muscles to relax. When he felt it was time, he ordered the homunculus above him to move.

"Okay," he said, and that was all the sin needed to hear. Edward groaned, it still hurt even after the preparation but he tried to focus on the pleasured side.

After Envy increased in speed, the strange feeling went away but the pain was still there mixed in with a little pleasure.

Edward moaned as he felt the sin trashing into him. His eyes closed to focus only on the pleasure. Suddenly they shot open as he let out a loud scream; Envy kept hitting the bundle nerves over and over again. The alchemist raked the back of the thrusting homunculus.

"AH-AH-ENVY!" he cried out over and over again, his words seemed to fuel the sin's hunger and lust

Edward screamed over and over again, the neighbors probably thought he was being murdered, but he didn't care he just wanted the pleasure to go on.

Feeling his climax was close; Envy sped up and also grabbed the blonde's forgotten shaft and ran up and down. Envy felt his pride get to the best of him; he needed the chibi to climax first. He loved the sound of Edo crying his name as he continued to pound into him.

"ENVY!" one final thrust did the trick, leaving the blond to float in his ecstatic high before coming back down to normal. Soon after Edward's release Envy was also reduced to a loud groan that sounded like a muffled "Edward". He rolled over to make sure he wouldn't collapse and potentially squash the chibi. Envy took one look at the exhausted alchemist before falling asleep himself.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Another time jump, to about a month after the incident)

"Edo what's wrong with you?" Envy asked, his face full of concern as he held the blonde's hair back to throw up today's breakfast.

"It's probably nothing," Edward wiped his mouth and stumbled to the door, he was going to be late for work.

"Oh no, I'm calling in to say you're sick." Edward pouted as Envy carried hi out the door.

"I still don't see why I need to see a doctor; it's probably just a stomach virus."

"Edo, stomach viruses don't last for weeks," Edward pouted as he rest his head against Envy's shoulders, doctor's offices depressed him.

He looked around to find two sniffling kids, around the age of ten using a bunch of tissues. A little bin full of toys for the toddlers covered the corner of the room along with a bunch of boring books. A young brunette nurse stepped out with a clipboard.

"Mr. Elric?" she called out in a sweet, high pitched voice.

"That's us," Envy dragged the whining alchemist behind him.

"Well after what Mr. Envy told me, I just want to take a few tests if that's alright with you," the doctor chewed on her pencil as she started to take the tests.

"And when did this start?" she felt around the small bump on Edward's stomach.

"About two weeks ago," Edward eyed the office they were in. Informative posters decorated the room, along with various medical tools. He personally glared at the measuring one; it always was his worst enemy when it came to doctors.

"Mh mm," mumbled as she wrote something with weird look.

"Tell me, have you been gaining some weight?" she asked with caution tinting her tone.

Edward looked away in embarrassment; he didn't want to admit he was getting fat.

"Well a little…"

"Do you know exactly how much?"

"No," he muttered to the floor.

"Well I'm going to ask you to take off your shoes and step onto this scale."

Edward could tell from Dr Aleen's weird glance, he had gotten fatter.

"How much did you weigh before the throwing up and cramps?" she asked as she wrote something on her clipboard.

"About 115 pounds, why how much did I gain?" Edward looked like he was on the verge of tears. He couldn't figure out why he was so emotional, it must be hormones…but don't usually only girls cry?

"Well Mr. Elric, you seemed to have gained about 4 pounds in two weeks, now I'm going to need to take a few more tests to see if my theory is correct."

"What theory is that?" Envy questioned by didn't get a response.

About one week later the strange couple returned to the doctor's office to hear the "surprising news"

"What do you think it could be?" Edward clutched his queasy stomach.

"I don't know, but what ever it is I'll be here Edo," Envy's gloved hands wrapped around the alchemist's trembling, sweaty palms.

"Ah, good to see you again Mr. Elric and Mr. Envy," Dr Aleen sat down in a chair; she was nervously playing with her black hair.

"So what's the news? Am I going to die?" he choked on his own words.

"No, no I assure you it's nothing like that," the alchemist and homunculus relaxed.

"What a relief," Envy let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"However," the black haired doctor got up to fetch the clipboard dangled from the counter.

"I'm sorry to say this since this goes against all medical textbooks I've read…" both men paled at her words.

"What's wrong with me?" Edward gasped. Dr. Aleen looked up with sad brown eyes.

"Edward, you're pregnant."

Dun, dun, dun! Sorry for the cliffhanger but it will lead to a sequel featuring male pregnancy XD Thanks to you all, for being patient and sticking with this story. I hope you'll enjoy the sequel as well.