Fun for idiots

Magic fluff. Victor's an idiot but he's Maggie's idiot. Post-5/30/11 episode. I don 't own Days or its characters.

Victor sat on the couch, running Maggie's words through his mind.

"If you want to have fun, call me." Victor groaned. He just now realized what Maggie meant.

Maggie pulled her third pan of brownies out of the oven. She sat down and sighed. Pulling out her cell phone she dialed Julie and got her voicemail.

"Hey Julie, Maggie. Victor's being an idiot again. Just call me."

When that was done, she started in on the cinnamon rolls.

"Aunt Maggie?" Abby opened the door.


"What are you doing?" Abby asked.

"I'm baking. I'm baking because my boyfriend is an idiot and doesn't believe me when I say I want to…" Maggie trailed off when she realized she was talking to her twenty-two year old niece, "I'm having issues with Victor."

"Ah. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were dating."

"I hate to tell you this but dating doesn't get easier when you get older. It gets harder," Maggie said.

"Oh, don't tell me that," Abby groaned.

Maggie laughed, tiredly. "What's new with you?"

Abby started to tell her great-aunt about her hospital job.

"So, I like working in the hospital but I don't know if I like to work with sick people. And there is this thing with Carly that I can't tell anyone because it's confidential."

"Is it about a patient?" Maggie asked.


"Did you sign a confidential agreement?"


Maggie was confused. "Then why is it confidential, sweetie?"

"Because Carly told me it was." Abby was confused, too.

"That isn't what makes it confidential. There are certain situations were confidence is absolute but Carly can't just claim it because she's a doctor," Maggie explained.

"Oh. That changes things," Abby looked thoughtful.

"Can I help?"

Abby's response was cut off by Maggie's phone ring. Maggie smiled apologiticaly and answered her phone.


"Have you considered just fucking the man, Mags?" Julie's voice boomed out of Maggie's cell phone.

Abby and Maggie both blushed.

"Hi, Julie, I got new phone and I don't know how to work it yet…." Maggie started to explain.

"So what does that have to do with Victor?"

"Abigail just heard you asked me if I consider…" Maggie trailed off.

"Oh. Oh. Hi, Abby," Julie said, cheerfully.

"Hi, Julie. I think I'll leave now. Thanks for the advice, Aunt Maggie," Abby hugged her aunt.

"Bye, Abigail," Maggie turned her attention to her phone," that was awkward."

Julie laughed. "You haven't answered my question."

"Have I considered having sex with Victor? What does that have to with the price of tea in China?" Maggie asked, irritably.

"You have! Maggie!"

"Shut up. It's not happening," Maggie said.

"I was right at Christmas!" Julie smirked.

"Julie, could you not gloat right now?"

"Well, what did he say?"

Maggie sighed. "He said that he doesn't feel worthy of me. That he's afraid he can't live up to Mickey…"

"Well, he can't."

Maggie started to objected but then found herself interrupted by Julie.

"Honey, Victor and Uncle Mickey are totally different men."

"There are some similaties," Maggie smiled.

"Uncle Mickey was kind, sweet and patient. Victor's…"

"Julie, choose your words very carefully," Maggie warned.

"A challenge. Victor has challenged you," Julie said.


"It's o.k. to enjoy Victor," Julie said.

"Apparently not, since he just dumped me," Maggie sighed.

"Maggie. He married Vivian and Kate. He's an idiot. You know that," Julie said.

"True," Maggie said as her back door open and Victor walked in.

Maggie looked at him, in surprise. Victor simply kissed her and grinned.

"I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I didn't realize…." Victor murmured against Maggie's skin.

"I've been thinking about sex a lot over the last week and just assumed…" Maggie kissed Victor.

"Is that why you brought over the casserole?" Victor asked.

"Something likes that…." Maggie said, sheepishly.

"I hate to interrupt but what does a casserole have to do with sex?" Julie's voice asked from the phone on the table. Victor jumped.

"I'll explain later. Bye Julie," Maggie hung the phone up.

"Hi," Victor said.

"Do you usually kiss people you aren't dating?" Maggie asked.

"Only certain redheads," Victor smiled, before kissing her again.

"Victor…" Maggie smirked, "there should only be one redhead in your life."

"Only one?"


"And you'll fill that spot?" Victor drawled lazily.

"I won't date you," Maggie said. Victor looked surprised and hurt at the statement.

"You won't date me?"

"Or marry you."

"Well, Maggie, what's left?" Victor asked.

"Victor, we've tried dating. But we always stop just before… you know…" Maggie blushed.

"So you think our problem is unresolved sexual tension?" Victor asked.

"Well, we could try that. That was Julie's advice," Maggie said.

"Julie told you that we needed to have sex?" Victor chuckled.

"More or less."

"What exactly did Mrs. Williams say?"

Maggie blushed again. "She wondered if I ever tried just 'fucking' you."

Victor laughed. "I owe Julie dinner the next time she and Doug are in town."

"No comment on the advice?"

"Well…" Victor looked thoughtful, "I always thought Julie gave the best advice and we should take it."

"Victor, it's not the sex I'm worry about. It's the five minutes, the hour or the day after the sex. We can't keep our relationship together for two weeks and that's just us. I'm not including your ex-wives or my family or Chloe…"

"Sweetheart…."Victor smiled, kissing Maggie lightly.

"Then there's the fact I'm not, you know, twenty-five anymore…."

"I know your age, Maggie…."

"And I haven't sex in over a year…" Maggie rambled on.

"Sweetheart…." Victor wanted to laugh but knew he shouldn't.

"And you've slept with so many women!"

"Maggie!" Victor laughed.


"First, I haven't sex in over a year, either. Second, I want you, Maggie," Victor kissed Maggie.

Maggie bit her lip. "It's just I don't feel as glamorous as your other women."

"Honey…the other women didn't work out. And as for not being as glamorous, Maggie, you have been causing my water bill to triple because of all the cold showers I've been taken," Victor said.

Maggie blushed.

"You should've invited me over to shower with you," she murmured.

"Is that an option now?" Victor asked.

Maggie kissed Victor softly. "Victor, I don't have any….Mickey and I never used condoms."

"I can buy condoms if you want. Why don't you do whatever women do in these situations while I get condoms?"

Maggie laughed. "O.k. Hurry back."

Victor suddenly thought of something. "Sweetheart, do you want to go to a hotel or my house? I don't want to…."

"I think I can have my boyfriend in my bed. It's legal. Besides I bought a new bedroom set," Maggie said.

"I'll be back. Just don't change your mind," Victor said.

"Then hurry back," Maggie giggled.

"You're adorable, Maggie Horton," Victor laughed, kissing her good-bye.

Fifteen minutes later, Maggie got out of the shower and heard someone in the kitchen. Laughing, she threw on underwear and a button shirt and ran downstairs.

"Honey, you must've ran every red light…."She stopped short at the sight of her nieces.

"Somehow, I don't think Aunt Maggie was expecting us," Hope stared at her aunt as Maggie blushed.

"Jen, why did Aunt Maggie forget to put on pants today?" Ciara asked.

Jennifer was shocked into silence. Maggie collected herself and said,

"Well, honey, I'm washing all my pants today."

Hope snickered. "In your one washer?"

"It's a very big washer, Hope," Maggie snapped.

"Is Vi…." Jennifer couldn't make herself say it.

"He's coming back soon. So could you maybe visit another day?" Maggie asked as the door opened.

"Goddess, I'm back and more than ready to…."Victor was ambushed by his granddaughter, "Ciara! What are you doing here?"

"The girls are visiting. Isn't that wonderful, honey?" Maggie said.

"Yes. Definitely," Victor walked over to Maggie and lightly kissed her, "it's always nice to have company…"

"Victor…"Maggie sighed. Victor wrapped his arms around Maggie.

"We should go or my daughter will be seeing too much adult content," Hope said. Maggie smirked at the remark.

"I'm not old enough to think about Aunt Maggie and adult content," Jennifer muttered.

"Bye, girls," Maggie laughed. The girls left the house.

"Hi," Victor kissed Maggie softly.

"Hi. I forgot to put on pants," Maggie said.

"You did. At our age, that could mean you're becoming senile. So should I be concern?" Victor asked.

Maggie laughed. "I was trying for the causal but devastating sexy look. Did I achieve it?"

"God, yes." Victor breathed.

"Good. Did you get the condoms?" Maggie asked.


"Thank you for doing that, sweetheart," Maggie said.

"I also got massage oil. Is there anything you can't do with the MG?" Victor asked.

"It's not the MG, it's the age. I'm old."

"You look…." Victor kissed Maggie, "so beautiful. Are you sure?"

"Victor, if I don't have sex in the next half-hour, I will spontaneously combust," Maggie said.

"Sounds dangerous…." Victor said.

"Very dangerous…." Maggie kissed Victor.

"People will be angry with me if I let you spontaneously combust…" Victor said.

"They would be…"

"Maggie, not that having sex in your kitchen hasn't been a recurring fantasy of mine for the last eight months…." Victor smiled.

"We could work something out. But my bedroom has a king size bed," Maggie said, looking at Victor.

"That sounds promising."

"Let me lock the door," Maggie said," Could you check the front?"

"Of course…"

When Victor returned, Maggie set the alarm. Victor looked at her, questioningly.

"Honey, people tend to let themselves into my house," Maggie explained, kissing him lightly.

"I don't," Victor said indignant.

"No, just your ex-wives did. And my family. So better safe than sorry," Maggie said as she led Victor upstairs.

Maggie was different then his other lovers, Victor mused as they relaxed after making love. Caroline used to roll over and dressed, not looking at him, blaming him for tempting her to sin. Vivian clung to him, desperate to make him love her. Kate would pick up the next day's contracts, ready to move on the next big thing.

But Maggie, his Maggie, lay on his chest, watching him, silent. Her arms wrapped loosely around him. There but not suffocating. Victor smiled. He could get use to this.

Maggie wondered briefly if she should offer to make food or something, her hostess instincts kicking in. She looked up at Victor and grinned, "What are your plans?"

What were his plans? For the rest of the night, week, or his life? "I plan on loving you."

Maggie laughed at the sappy response. "I meant for the rest of the night. Do you want to sleep here?"

"Well…" Victor kissed his lover, lightly, "that would be more convenient if I have a nightmare."


"So you can comfort me," Victor smirked.

Maggie rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him. But if this was her new normal, it wasn't that bad. In fact, it might be fun.