a/n: I know, I know. I haven't updated this story in ages. I'm in college now so I'm having a hard time getting time to write. I'm really sorry about that. I'll make sure to write more in the next couple months! I have loads of story ideas and now that winter break is starting, I'll have loads of time to write them all! Anyways, thanks so so much for your love and support! Hope you enjoy this oneshot! Please review! :) They make me happy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Covert Affairs.

Just So You Know

Just so you know, this is the scariest thing I've ever done. Just so you know, I really shouldn't be scared. She's not scared at all. She's absolutely sure this is a great idea. I'm terrified, just so you know. She's so happy, her voice is filled with so much excitement. I've never heard her more excited. So don't tell her about this, ok? It's just between you and me.

I've faced off with soldiers and viruses and assassins and terrorists and murderess and an angry Joan, and just so you know, it's nothing compared to this. Don't tell her though. She thinks there's nothing that can scare me. You know better though. You're sitting there, a smile on your face, watching me squirm. I'm scared out of my mind. But that's between you and me, she doesn't know. You say our little girl has eyes the color of rain. That scares me, just so you know.

"Are you coming?" She laughs. The sound reminds me of fairies.


I'm terrified, and I don't want to go. But she asked, and I can't say no. Not to her. She's not scared. Or worried either. She's absolutely thrilled. All smiles, all laughter. Just so you know, when I get home I might cry.

We walk down the street and head for the corner. Our little girl with eyes like rain says I'm walking to slow. Just so you know, I'm in no hurry. She takes my hand and pulls me along, she's not scared either. Apparently, I'm the only terrified one.

Just so you know, I may not make it to the corner. I may pass out from fear. Who knows what could happen? My feet just keep moving against my will. I'm not ready for this. I'll never ever be ready for this. She is though. She's been looking forward to it for months.

Our little girl sees her friends and waves to them. She releases my hand. Just so you know, I wish she wouldn't do that. I really wish she wouldn't let go. It's dangerous out here. This world is full of danger.

I know you think I'm a little paranoid but you say it's cute. You leave me standing here on the corner to go talk to the other parents nearby. Just so you know, I wish you were comforting me right now, like you did last night. I don't want to be here, just so you know.

Our little girl with eyes like rain says good-bye to you now. She is giggling and being pulled away by her friends. You hug her, all smiles and happiness and excitement. Just so you know, I'm not smiling on the inside like I'm pretending to on the outside.

Our little baby girl with eyes like rain gets on the bus, one stair at time. She rushes to pick a seat with the daughter of a neighbor. They both lean out the window to wave and call out to their families. Just so you know, I wish she wouldn't do that. She could fall.

I hear you wave back, and so I wave back too. Just so you know, I wish she'd get off that bus. I hear the bus pull away and you take my hand in yours.

"She'll be home at three, Aug," I'm reminded with a giggle. Just so you know, I didn't want her to go. She's not ready. I'm not ready. We could have waited one more year.

Just so you know, I never liked Catie's first day of school.