Razor

By: TracyCook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These character belong to the creator of Sonny With A Chance.

Rating: M

Authors Note: For ManSuzShe's BU Contest! Hope that you like! :) One shot.

Razor

Razor.

Making headlines and headstones…

Breaking hearts and breaking bones…

Sonny was in total shock after what Chad had just done to her. How could he be so selfish? Everything was always about his fame, his feelings, his fans, him him him. It had been bad enough that she had fallen in love with someone like this, but she thought that he would change once they got together, she thought he would get better and focus on her more. Which he had done of course. Yet, somehow it was always selfish.

He didn't want to get hurt so he sent someone else on dates with her, he didn't want to lose his fans so he got rid of her, he didn't want to lose so he had a recount and stole her reward. This final straw was the one that broke the camel's back though.

"How dare he do that to me? How could he cheat on me?" She cried out, brown eyes full of tears that were now pouring down her cheeks one after another. Rolling down her neck as she furiously tried to bat them away. But she couldn't they were falling too quickly. The brunette hated herself in that moment.

Many times she had thought that she were not good enough for the blonde boy, he was handsome and famous, perfect. She never felt she was good enough when she was with him because he was constantly pointing out how amazing he was. Always talking about himself he never noticed how broken and self-conscious she was. Not that it was his fault she hid it well from everyone.

Yet, beneath all of those toothy grins and her perky optimism there was a dark side that no one had seen. No one aside from herself.

Your whole life's a performance,

So let the cameras role…

The brunette hated Chad for what he had done to her; she hated her friends for not seeing what she was going through, but most of all she hated herself. She hated herself for hiding from everyone. She hated herself for consuming drugs to stay slim and perfect because their eyes would wander her frame and she never felt beautiful. She hated that she wore a mask each and every day to hide the pain, and she hated that she hated herself just enough to fall in love with the one man who would always hurt her.

Razor.

Looking down at her crossed legs her large brown lifeless eyes ran along the razor that was sitting on her bare thigh. Tears only intensifying as she remembered the times they shared together. How he was her first, the ways that he made love to her. Now all of these things made her stomach churn, she wanted nothing more than to rid her body of his fingerprints.

Sonny had tried to call all of her true friends back home, Lucy, Shelby, Rachel no one answered, her calls had fallen on deaf ears and it was humiliating. These were the people she grew up with. All three of them had ignored the calls and who answered? The girl she had never even considered a true friend in the first place, Tawni Hart. This same girl tormented her, tore her down, and made her feel like hell for most of the time she had been there. Over time they had gotten closer and for a while the brunette felt that her blonde co-star was the only one that believed in her.

She had not told Tawni why she was crying or where she was so she doubted that she would think to look in their dressing room even if she did search. Which she doubted the diva would take the time to do something like that just to help a friend in need. Out of everyone she knew Tawni was the most like Chad. They were one in the same and right now she hated him, so she hated her.

"S-she wouldn't even care if-if I died. N-no one would." She stuttered through sobs as she lifted the razor in between her fingers still staring at it to the best of her ability through foggy eyes.

You know it's all too good to last…

If it's not too much to ask,

Slow down before you crash.

Lifting the razor she looked it over biting down on her bottom lip. She remembered the way that it felt when he kissed her. The way that it felt when he ran his tongue along her lip, the way that he tasted. Her heart started to pound as she remembered all of the issues they had and the pressures to have the perfect kiss. All of the people watching them telling them how to live, they had been what tore them apart. No, it was not the people. It was Chad listening to the people, caring what the people thought about how they kissed and all other aspects of their lives more than he cared for her.

Metal now pressed to the soft skin of her lips she decided that she never wanted to kiss anyone again. The only person she had ever wanted to touch these lips was Chad and now that he was gone no one would touch them again. No one but the cold steel and sharp edge of the razor.

Pressing it into the skin harder than necessary she slid it across the front of her lip cutting a large gash in her bottom lip that spread from one side of her lip to the other. Let them see her smile now. Even when she faked her happiness they would be able to see the darkness that hid beneath when they looked scar left by the cut.

Red thick liquid now rolled down her chin dripping onto the floor she looked down and watched as the carpet was stained. A small red stain that was growing as the seconds passed. She thought for a moment she saw a heart in the blood soaking into the ground but it could have simply been her body and the stress she was under. At this moment she would not have been shocked to see anything. Sonny felt absolutely no pain. She could not even feel her face as the tears streamed down the numb skin.

Razor.

You're such a fatal attraction…

Your friends are only for fashion,

We may last for a while, but we'll go out of style.

Lowering the razor to her thighs she cried even harder as she looked at how imperfect her body was. Made all the less perfect by every single time his fingers or lips grazed her skin. Every spot that he had touched looked like a bruise through her eyes and she wanted them to heal. She wanted him out of her life.

Placing the edge of the blade to the skin of her thigh she dug into the skin dragging the razor along the smoothness digging in deep and leaving a trail of blood that was now rolling down the inside of her thigh as she added another trail parallel to the first. Then to the other thigh she repeated these actions. She dug in so deep wanting to be able to feel anything, her body shaking, heart racing, she needed to hurt. She needed to hurt just to know she was alive, yet she felt nothing.

It was as if her body were already dead. Fingers shaking she watched as the blood covered the tips, it should have felt warm, sticky, it should have felt! It didn't feel. She carved deeper every single time flinching at the sight not from the pain. Deeper and deeper until her hands were painted in red, salty tears falling to them and cleaning them only slightly of their stains.

Razor.

You know it's all too good to last…

If it's not too much to ask,

Slow down before you…

She could feel her body giving way, she knew she would be dead in only a little over an hour if she continued to bleed at this rate. The brunette cried even harder letting out loud wheezing noises as she curled up against her thighs blood-stained hands against her face. Her lips still bleeding, she could taste the metallic sensation on her tongue, it was sickening. Feeling the urge to vomit she held it in and continued to sob.

"Sonny? Is that you? I checked your house but your mom said you were at the—" As the blonde girl walked around her friend she saw that she was not only crying she was bleeding. "Oh my god Sonny! I was so worried! Oh my god what did you do? I am calling an ambulance." Tawni stated as she took out her pink bedazzled phone and started to dial 911.

Sonny quickly jumped to her feet and ran to her friend. Ironically the only one who had even answered her phone, let alone looked for her. It was the one person she had assumed was not a true friend. "No Tawni don't! I-I'm fine!"

"No you are not, give me my phone back!" The blonde practically screeched as she reached for her phone that was now covered in bloody fingerprints and dialed the number. As she held the phone to her ear and explained the situation quickly and worriedly her blue eyes wandered over her once beautiful friend. Even in the wreckage she was more beautiful than she would ever know. Blood was drying in long brown hair and her lip was still bleeding pretty bad, as were her thighs.

As she hung up the phone Tawni made her way over to the brunette and wrapped her in her arms. A hug was not an activity that the diva partook in very often, so for Sonny it meant the world. For once in a very long time she felt safe and warm wrapped up in those arms.

Crash into my arms.

Put down your guard disarm…

You think the whole world's against you.

We're the ones with the issues.

"Why would you ever do something so stupid Sonny?" She questioned in a shaken voice. Honestly she was angry with her friend. The brunette had told her numerous times to never let what people said get to her. To simply be herself and be happy and all of this time she had been hiding such a dark side from her. It was very hard to take in, but she wanted the beautiful girl to know she was there for her.

Sobbing into her friend's chest the tears mixing with the blood and staining the perfect spray-tanned skin of the blonde, which surprisingly didn't bother her. Maybe Tawni had been wearing a mask as well, only to cover her light side, while hers was to cover a very dark side.

"I-I-I just thought I wasn't g-good enough. Chad-Chad… Chad broke up with me and I just didn't feel pretty, I mean y-you were always the pretty one. And I called my friends b-but no one picked up. I just." She could not finish what she was saying as she burst into another angry fit of tears.

"Silly girl… Shh. Shh." Tawni whispered as she stroked brown hair with manicured nails leaning down to kiss the top of her friends head. "Calm down, I got you." She smiled as tears fell from her own blue eyes. She had never meant for anything like this to happen and all she wanted was to protect Sonny from that moment further. Chad would have someone else to deal with if he ever hurt her this way again.

"You were always the pretty one." Tawni said softly.

You think this whole worlds against you.

S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C S W A C

Authors note: It is a one shot/Song fic for y'all. Tawni/Sonny for once it could be taken as romance or friendship. I don't usually do friendship because I love femslash, but I figured that I would try it regardless... :p Hope that everyone liked it! The song is Razor by New Years Day.

But for my Tawni/Sonny lovers I added a new multi-chap fic, and a new chapter to camping! So "Check it out" hehe. Also trying to add to my One Tree Hill fics and my Glee fic. Been a busy night!

"Peace out sucka's"

-Tracy Cook