Okay, there's a series of REALLY dirty fanfics out there: Roxanne's Revenge and Payback's a Bitch which I didn't write. I did contribute an idea to the third in the dirty trilogy, The Best Revenge is Living Well. Well, here's a not-dirty follow up of what happens later that morning.
The originals can be found on LJ. Here are the links. They are EXTREMELY raunchy. So, click at your own risk. I will not be responsible for your laptop's spontaneous combustion. You'll have to piece the links back together, you know how FF is with URLs, right?
h t t p : / / megamind-movie . livejournal . com / 811791 . html
h t t p : / / megamind-movie . livejournal . com / 843355 . html
h t t p : / / megamind-movie . livejournal . com / 968518 . html
And then my follow-up. This is pretty rough, since it was written in an hour or two just off the top of my head, so don't expect perfection. I hope it makes you laugh, though.
Oh, if you didn't click on the links to read the originals, here's a clean summary of what's going on. Roxanne is tired of waiting on Megamind to make a move. So she went over to the lair and knocked him out with the spray. Then she tied him up and had some sexy fun times, but had to leave before he was satisfied because Minion came back, but she left Megamind her panties as a souvenir. So, of course, Megamind can't let that stand. So he sneaks into Roxanne's place and ties her up and they have some more sexy fun times where everyone eventually was satisfied. Really rough, kinky, bondage, disturbing, brainbots-sex-toys sexy fun times, so be warned. Okay, so the next morning they take it down a notch and actually make sweet love and establish that they want each other and the superhero/supervillain game is over. Megamind won because he got Roxanne. Oh, boy did he get her. Anyway, so, the story ends with Megamind thinking that he might retire and go into seclusion and that that would be great so long as he has Roxanne. But, remember, no one else knows what's been happening between the two. So, this is what happens later that morning:
Megamind is sitting at the counter in Roxanne's kitchen when his communicator watch beeps and Minion's worried voice is heard, "Sir, where are you? Did you come in last night?"
Roxanne has just finished cooking some eggs. She turns and gives her kinky blue lover an amused smile. She walks toward him, her hips swaying seductively as she approaches. She motions for him to hold out his communicator watch. He does so and she speaks into it cheerfully, "Good morning Minion!"
"Who is that?" the fish asks confused, "Is that you Miss Ritchi?"
"Mm-hmmm," she confirms.
"Where is sir?" he asks suspiciously? Has she done something to him?
"I'm right here, Minion," Megamind answers.
"Where are you two?"
"At Roxanne's place."
"What are you doing there?" he asks, surprised. He notices Megamind didn't call her Miss Ritchi. What does that mean?
"Well, we were about to eat breakfast before you interrupted us." Megamind answers truthfully.
There is a pause while Minion processes this information. "Sir," he begins hesitantly, "Have you been there all night?"
"Yes I have." If Minion were there, he'd see a very smug smile on his master's face.
Another long pause. "Miss Ritchi? Are you all right."
"I'm fine, Minion," she assures him, then adds, "A little sore, but I'm not complaining." She kisses Megamind on the big blue forehead.
Megamind can't help chuckling. "We're both fine, Minion. Couldn't be better."
"Uh..." the fish begins, "All right, sir. When can I expect you back?"
"Oh, not for awhile, I think. I'm not quite done here," he says.
Roxanne giggles. She thinks she'll call in sick to work today.
Minion has a sneaking suspicion of what they might have been up to and decides he really, really doesn't want to know.
Roxanne sits across Megamind's lap, alternating between half-watching a movie on her television and leisurely exploring his body with her fingers and her lips. Megamind's hands are not idle either. He finds her body fascinating and isn't yet tired of simply touching and stroking her all over, learning her shape with his fingers. After last night and this morning, they're both feeling very affectionate, but not quite ready for more naked fun yet. They're still quite sore, but in very good ways. Roxanne had called in sick to work, explaining that she thought she had some bad take-out or something and she expected to be back in tomorrow.
Roxanne strokes her fingers along the line of his jaw, her thumb smoothing the little goatee on his chin, "I always liked this," she tells him.
"Did you?" he asks, smirking at her compliment.
"Yes," she confirms. She moves her lips over to his ear and breathes into it, "Very sexy."
His eyes widen slightly and his grin widens.
She pulls her head back again and traces her finger over the edge of his ear up to the slightly pointed tip. He watches her smile as she examines him, "You like my ears too?" he asks.
"I like a lot about you, Megamind. I think your ears are cute."
"Cute?" he asks, slightly insulted, "Miss Ritchi, I am a Supervillain. I am incredibly handsome and you may find me sexy, but I am not cute."
"Mmm," says Roxanne noncommittally. "Then I guess I shouldn't tell you that your skin is pretty, either."
"Certainly not," he answers, puffing up despite his feigned displeasure. Nobody had ever complimented the color of his skin before. He'd always thought it was a rather handsome shade, himself. But he'd come to believe that he was the only one to think so. Hearing her say she liked it gives his ego, already impressively swelled from recent events, another boost. He strokes his fingers up her neck and into her short hair. It is soft and silky. He likes how it feels and finds himself petting it. She lolls her head onto his shoulde, her eyes closed in pleasure. She lets out a contented little moan and he chuckles to hear it. "You like that?" he asks.
"Mmm," she agrees, "It feels nice." she asks.
"I wish I had hair," he comments wistfully.
"Pft," she responds, "You'd look ridiculous with hair. I like you bald," she tells him.
"You like bald men?" he asks.
"Not in general, but on you it looks right. Were all the men on your planet bald?" she wonders.
He smiles slightly and nods, "The women too."
"Huh" she says, refraining to telling him that she thinks that's weird.
Before she has to respond to that, her doorbell rings. "Argh," she moans, knowing that the sound of her TV gives away the fact that she's at home, "Hush," she instructs Megamind, who links his fingers behind his head and grins at her innocently.
Roxanne looks through her peep-hole to find her cameraman waiting for her, a huge vase of pink roses in his hands. She groans, rolls her eyes, and mutters, "Lord, give me strength," before opening her door, not caring that she's clad only in a long T-shirt that covers her decently, yet clings to her curves and does nothing to hide the fact that she is braless.
Hal's eyes widen in appreciation as he beholds Roxanne clad in her nightclothes. Well, he tells himself, She is sick. What else would she be wearing? He wonders if she knows her nipples are pressed up against the fabric of her shirt like that. "Hey, Rox-a-roo," he greets, looking her right in the chest, "I heard you were sick, so I came by to check on you. How are you feeling?" Oh, god, he thinks, I'd like to know how she feels.
"Eyes up here, Hal," she instructs him with patience learned from long association. Hal obeys meekly. "I'm feeling much better, but I'm still going to spend the day home just to make sure. I still don't feel much like eating anything," she lies with a smile.
"Oh, well, it's good you're feeling better. I uh, brought you some flowers to make you feel even better." She smiles, releasing her grip on the door and holding out her hands, expecting him to hand them over. Instead he says, "You just go sit down and I'll fill the vase with water and stuff for you." He begins to push past her and is surprised when she doesn't move. He stops, uncomfortably close to her when he notices something odd out of the corner of his eye around the edge of the door. He uses more force and pushes into the room to confirm what he thought he'd seen. Megamind is reclining on Roxanne's couch wearing nothing but a pair of tight leather pants and an evil smirk on his blue face. "You!" accuses the cameraman.
"Me," agrees the villain, rising to his feet. Roxanne gives up on barring the door and pads away from Hal towards Megamind. "I appreciate your concern over Roxanne's health, Hal Stewart. I assure you she'll be fully recovered in time for work tomorrow."
"You evil blue freak! What do you think you're doing here?" demands the cameraman.
"Tsk, it's not nice to call names, Mr. Stewart. You might hurt my feelings."
"I'll hurt more than your feelings." Hal takes a run at Megamind, his fist swinging toward the giant blue head, the roses and their vase clattering to the floor forgotten.
Megamind neatly sidesteps the charging man, tripping him as he passes. Hal crashes into the floor and brings himself up to his knees and then to his feet, glaring at the alien, who is standing unconcerned next to Roxanne, an arm wrapped around her waist. Hal sees this and charges again, this time his hands out ready to strangle the other man. Megamind pushes Roxanne back and she hurries out of the way. Once again he steps around the clumsy cameraman and knocks him to the ground. This time he takes advantage of the man's prone position to twist one arm up behind his back at a painful angle, pinning him to the floor.
"Mr. Stewart," he begins politely, "I believe you have made an erroneous assumption. You think I am here to do my dear Roxanne some harm. In fact, we were merely sitting here enjoying each other's company until you so rudely interrupted us. Now, I am going to let you up and, when I do, I suggest that you leave here immediately."
Megamind released Hal's arm, allowing him to regain his feet. The fat man glares at him, his eyes narrowing as Roxanne actually steps toward the alien and leans up against his side as if she actually wants to be near him. "Goodbye, Hal," she tells him, "I will see you tomorrow."
Hal knows he's no match for Megamind. He's certain if he attacks him a third time, the alien will make sure to hurt him. He hates the idea of slinking away leaving Roxanne in his evil clutches, but what can he do? Defiantly, he threatens, "I'll call Metro Man and he'll rescue her from you, Megamind!"
"Mr. Stewart, I think it is far too late for Roxanne to be rescued by Metro Mahn," he smirks and clutches her closer to him, kissing her chastely on the cheek while keeping one eye on Hal. Roxanne smiles and doesn't protest. Hal gets the point and stalks out of the apartment swearing and slamming the door behind him.
Megamind turns to Roxanne, "I don't think anyone's going to believe that you were really sick today," he observes.
She grins, "It was worth it to finally get it through to that moron that I am not interested in him."