A/n: There's a lot of hating on this pairing, most thinking it was a bit too far of a stretch for Buffy to sleep with a girl. I've always disagreed. I always thought it made a whole lot of sense. This little fic is my attempt to explain. Sort of. Unbetad, so I apologize for possible (probable) errors.
Buffy closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around herself, and drew in the chilly November air in slow deep breaths. From the top of the castle's highest turret, she had a spectacular view of the star strewn sky. It was getting cold, though, despite the thick woollen sweater. Stupid Scottish weather.
The door behind her creaked and for a moment, Buffy tensed. Then she recognised the footsteps. Satsu, of course. She'd been coming up here every so often for a couple of weeks and her promising young lieutenant seemed to have caught on.
She really deserved some credit because Buffy had been trying not to be noticed during her night-time wanderings. But as she thought on it, she really didn't mind the company.
Buffy smiled. It was rather endearing how proper and formal Satsu tried to be. Cute, even. She might even stretch as far as to call it sexy. Which, in itself, was weird. Way weird. Mostly, she wished Angel, or Riley or even Spike were around and available but that obviously wouldn't happen.
No, as far as guys were concerned, she was utterly screwed. And not in the good way, either.
Then there was Satsu. Maybe she was being conceited for thinking it, but she was pretty sure the younger slayer was in love with her. The clues were starting to pile up: The chap stick, the sneaky glances and the awkwardness in the training sessions that didn't seem to be there when she practised with other girls.
Buffy to had to admit she found it flattering. Intriguing, even.
Things were more confusing than ever these days. Only a few days ago, she had flown with Willow. Well, clung on to Willow for dear life while her old friend soared through the air like frickin' superman. But there had been a tickling sensation of excitement quite unrelated to the adrenaline and fear. She'd liked it - liked being that close to Willow and her warm body. In a very bad way best friends weren't supposed to feel at all.
"Are you OK?
Buffy sighed, but managed a smile.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
It all came down to the loneliness. Mostly. Obviously she'd thought about girls before. Once or twice. She couldn't imagine anyone meeting Faith without briefly considering it. Then there'd been Willow and Tara and their damn near perfect relationship which obviously had romanticized the notion.
Not counting their hug when Willow returned a couple of weeks ago, Buffy had barely touched another person in ages. Punching and wrestling during practise didn't count. And it all sucked. Even if Willow was back from her travels God-knows-where, she was very busy with the wiccas, reducing Dawn to person-size and all sorts of stuff. And considering she herself was leading the world-wide fight against evil, her schedule was rather full too, which left little time for girl's nights with pyjamas and the possibility of cuddling. Innocent cuddling!
"Are you sure that you're OK? You look-" Satsu hesitated. She had settled next to Buffy, back leaned against the edge of the rampart. Their elbows were an inch apart.
"Maybe it's none of my business, ma'am." Some of her formal tone returned, though the concern remained in her voice. "But if you'd like to talk…" She trailed off uncertainly and Buffy really wanted to take up the offer. Then she caught herself, stood, and offered Satsu her hand. She relished the short second their palms touched.
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Good night, Satsu."
"Good night, Ma'am."
Buffy slowly made her way down to her bed, wishing for a type of warmth the patchwork quilt couldn't provide.