Jack's Lady from Seville

A/N: Rating is for Angelica's unlady-like language.

Convento Santa Clara, Sevilla, Spain, 17?

Returning to her austere cell late one storming night, Angelica was entering through the door when she was suddenly overpowered from behind and violently shoved through the doorway. Stumbling on her long hem, she fell to the stone floor, laying stunned as a figure in damp monk's robes slammed the door, and turned his back to it. Outside in the corridor, there was a thunder of footsteps, an angry shout - and once the noise had faded, the monk seemed to slump against the door in relief. After a moment, tanned, beringed hands lifted and folded down the deep hood of the robes, revealing a countenance that was most definitely not monk-like.

"¡Ave María purísima!" Angelica breathed when she saw the wet, dark head full of long locks and braids that shone with trinkets. The convent had been invaded!

At her exclamation, the intruder looked at her, his eyes narrowing first in annoyance, then surprise.

Angelica saw the dawning recognition in his eyes and felt a chill - she had seen that look before on men's faces, and knew it did not bode well for her. Not for the first time in her young life did she silently curse her purported beauty. She had seen brief glimpses of her reflection in still water before, but did not understand what all the fuss was about. Her looks were originally what had landed her here in the convent, her mother being worried for her future. Apparently she had been approached by a number of men wanting to buy her, or wishing for her hand in marriage - and Angelica at the tender age of only eleven!

Angelica stiffened as the stranger took a step forward, his black, glittering eyes fastened to the small oval of her face exposed by the white habit and veil she wore. His hungry stare covinced her she was about to be ravished.

"¡Ay de mí!"

The man paused, held out his hands, palms up. "I'm not going to hurt you, darling - I just need a place to hide out for a bit, saavy?"

Angelica swallowed, shrugging off the odd tingle she felt across her skin at the deep timbre of his voice. She then got up from the floor, stepping back until her shoulders touched the wall. She took in a deep breath, and reached for a black iron candlestand, holding it clumsily across her body in defense.

"You! I know who you are!" she accused in a high voice.

The stranger ducked his head slightly, his kohl-rimmed eyes widening. "Do you now?"

"You're a pirate!" Angelica sputtered.

"Not just any pirate, love - Captain Jack Sparrow." He bowed at the waist, hands unsteady, and then looked up at her with devil's own smirk on his lips. "May I service you?"

Angelica's mouth fell open.

The pirate sighed, looking at her from beneath a thick fringe of lashes. "Well, if you insist, but we really must hurry darling - I haven't much time."

Angelica gaped at him as he took a step forward, tugging the damp, heavy monk's robes over his head and throwing them to the floor with a scowl.

"Are you actually suggesting I would welcome an act of criminal intercourse with you?" she asked, shocked to the core.

The man named Jack Sparrow squinted at her, his stance wavering slightly. "Criminal intercourse?" he repeated in a dry drawl. "Oh. Issat' what they're calling it these days?"

Angelica made a horrified noise in her throat and side-stepped the pirate as he moved to take her in his arms. She backed up until she felt the edge of her hard bed hit the back of her knees. She lost her balance, the heavy candlestand tipping out of her hands, and sprawled on her back across the single blanket-covered wood plank that was her bed. Before she could move, the pirate was above her, his knees on either side of her body pinning her arms at her side.

Angelica found herself kicking and hissing evil words at him that she hadn't even known she remembered from her childhood and her mother's famous, tempermental rants.

"Now, now, darling," the pirate said, wasting no time in removing her head-covering, "what kind of low language is that for a Sister to be using?"

"¡Hijo de puta!"

His eyes widened, and then he tossed the veil to the floor, clearing his throat.

"Actually, me mum was a lady," he told Angelica with a distinct air of offense.

"Me da, on the other hand..."

Angelica felt her hair exposed to the air and grunted, trying to get free, but the pirate would not be moved.

Pins were plucked one by one from her severely-styled hair until it fell around her face, and the pirate took a long, lingering look at her, pushing his hands through the freed, curling mass.

"Bugger me," he muttered at last, sitting back slightly as he stared at her in the limited candlelight. "Why would a beauty like you be in such a cold place?"

"Do not touch me!" Angelica snapped defiantly. "I am to take my vows on the morrow!"

Jacks eyebrows lifted. "Is that so? And all of this will have to be shaved off, I suppose," he said, lifting a handful of her long hair. "Pity, that."

"It was my mother's final wish that I become a bride of God," Angelica gritted through her teeth.

The pirate sighed deeply, his warm, rum-scented breath washing over her cheeks. "Clearly she was quite addled near the end, ay?"

"Get off!" Angelica snarled. "Why won't you go away? What do you want?"

Jack grinned, the candlelight glinting off a number of gold teeth. "Never ask a pirate what he wants, darling - he may be of a mind to simply take it."

Angelica huffed nervously. "I-I have nothing of value."

He leaned over her, lowering his face until she felt his outlandish braided beard tickle the underside of her chin. "You honestly don't know how very wrong you are, my sweet," he whispered, the heat in his dark eyes hypnotizing her.

"Do not touch me," Angelica repeated desperately. "I am to be a nun - you should be ashamed!"

"The shame would be in leaving such a lovely flower to wilt in this dreary place. You were made for kissing, darling." The pirate lowered his lips.

Angelica turned her head to the side, her heart beating in her throat. "No!"

His warm lips skimmed the hollow of her cheek. "No? Perhaps you are expecting to be wooed?"

"You're mad! Oh, mother-in-heaven, save me from this lunatic!"

Jack pulled the heavy habit over her head without even moving her, leaving her in a thin linen shift trimmed with delicate, handmade lace. "Slander and calumny! Captain Jack Sparrow is no lunatic!"

Angelic attempted to stab him with her eyes. "Only a lunatic would break into a convent!" she spat. "Only a lunatic would impersonate a member of the clergy! That is an offense punishable by death!"

"Oh. Is it?" The pirate paused, looking genuinely surprised - and thoroughly unperturbed.

"You - you're deranged!"

He gave the side of her neck a leisurely, velvety lick. "You're delicious."

It was at this point that Angelica began praying - loudly.

The pirate suddenly kissed her, the heat of his lips searing her down to her toes. She forced herself to go stiff and stretch away from him as far as possible despite her arousal.

"Stop it! Y-you're disgusting!" she breathed weakly, her lips tingling.

Jack drew back to look down at her with a pout. "Untrue - I actually bathe quite frequently."

"Ugh! Unhand me this instant!"


"I'll scream!" she threatened.

"If you did that, I'd have to leave," Jack told her reasonably.

"W-what do you intend to do to me?" Angelica asked breathlessly, rapidly becoming exhausted. She was losing the will to fight, and he knew it, damn him!

The pirate gave her a slow, wicked smile, his dark eyes promising pleasures she'd never even imagined - and Angelica knew with an exhilarating certainty she would not be taking her vows on the morrow after all...

Angelica awoke sometime later to a nagging soreness between her thighs, and a warm heaviness in her limbs that made her moan and stretch languriously.

"Ah, awake, are we?" a deep, warm voice purred from some distance away.

Angelica sat bolt upright on her bed, clutching her single blanket to her naked chest. "You!" She buried a hand in her tumbled hair. "Oh, madre de dios, what have I done!"

"Don't feel bad, darling - t'was I who did the doing - and I did it quite satisfactorily, I must say."

Angelica blinked, finally taking in the pirate on the other side of the cell. She gasped. "What are you doing!"

Jack was standing before the heavy cell door, dressed in her habit and veil. The fabric covered him completely, save for the worn toes of his leather boots.

"I figured you wouldn't be needing it anymore, so I chose to make it me mode of escape, saavy?" He turned in a circle. "Does it make me look fat?"

"You villain!" Angelica exclaimed scandalously - and then abruptly snorted as she fully took in the sight of his bearded and mustached face peering out at her. The snort turned to full-blown laughter, and she soon found herself wiping tears of hilarity from her eyes.

Jack watched her, amused. Then he retrieved her shift from the floor where'd it had ended up, and he held it before him consideringly.

"You can't have that - it's the only one I am allowed!" Angelica protested.

Jack tilted his head to the side, and then seemingly from nowhere, he produced a short dagger. He made a small nick in the lace, then held the dagger in his teeth like a savage as he ripped a section from the hem. When he was through, he tossed the shift back at her, and unceremoniously tied the length of lace around his hard, tanned forearm.

Angelica examined the damage with a scowl, and then realized just what he was doing and became infuriated. "Qué chingados! How dare you make a prize of me!"

The pirate bowed, grinning, twirling the dagger in his hand. "Just something to remember you by, love - surely you wouldn't begrudge me that?"

"If you wish to remember me so badly, perhaps you should just ask my name, pendejo!" Angelica snarled, leaping up from the bed. Wide-eyed at her naked state, and before he knew what her intentions were, she snatched the dagger from his hands and held it at the height of his crotch.

"Yo mataria tu!"

Jack held his hands up. "Now, darling - "

"Angelica," she told him with a none-too-gentle poke of the dagger.

Underneath the habit, Jack crossed his legs. "Angelica. How...unfitting. I mean, lovely!" he corrected himself hastily as she poked him again. "Careful with the goods, darling."

"You have ruined me, and you don't even care," Angelica accused. "Had I not woken, you would already be gone! Bastardo!"

Jack had the grace to look slightly shamed. "Well," he squirmed, "I am a pirate, darling," he offered uneasily.

Angelica smirked at that, and she pressed the dagger into his crotch at a deliberate angle, making him gasp and close his eyes.

"Well, perhaps, before you go, I should claim my own prize from you, Capitan."

Before Angelica could go any further in her torture of the pirate, there was a loud noise out in the corridor - the sound of the abbess calling the sisters to morning mass.

When she glanced at the door, distracted, Jack grabbed her wrist, twisting it, and she winced, dropping the dagger. He put a foot behind her knee, making her lose her balance and fall back onto the floor.

"Tu eres más feo que el culo de un mono!"

"Now, now, that's untrue, and you know it."

He quickly stuffed a length of her linen in her mouth, turned her over, and produced a short length of hemp from beneath the habit to tie her hands behind her back.

Naked, enraged and growling through the gag, Angelica swore to kill him the next time she saw him - and then melted as he slowly drew his clever fingertips down the length of her spine.

"I am sorry, Angelica, but me ship is leaving on the tide, with or without me. I regret leaving you this way, but perhaps someday you will find it in your heart to forgive?" he murmured next to her ear, making her heart skip.

Angelica thought of the hell the next few hours would be, and she rammed her head into his chin.

Jack grunted, then sighed raggedly and gave her a rough, stinging slap on her bare rump. "I see...well, then, feel free to try to murder me if ever you should see me again - however, I can't say I would regret any of it. Until then."

Angelica heard the ring of heavy boots on stone, and then the sound of the cell door opening. Then he was gone.

"I cannot say how sorry I am that this has happened, Angelica," the mother-superior was telling her in her quarters a few weeks later. "You would have been a fine addition to our order. Still, you should be relieved that ruffian didn't leave you with child."

Angelica, now clad in a simple dress, her hair braided down her back like a child's, sat forward in her chair. "Please, I still can be! Do not turn me out!"

"I understand your fear, child, but it cannot be helped. Your father has been notified of your new circumstances, and he is to be here within days to collect you."

Angelica gaped at her. "Father? I never knew my father! My mother told me he was dead!"

"Apparently this was not the case. His contact information was left with us by your mother before she passed - God bless her soul."

"What? I cannot just go off with some man I don't even know!" Angelica protested. "Please!"

"I am sorry, Angelica," the mother-superior repeated. "But you do not belong here anymore."

Slumping, Angelica stared at the floor. If not here, then where did she belong?

"What was it like to ravished by the likes of Jack Sparrow?" the young novice escorting her to the entrance of the convent asked in a curious whisper.

Angelica rolled her eyes. It had become a common question over the past few weeks. She had taken to grossly exaggerating her experience just to watch the horrified expressions of the sisters.

"He was hung like a pig," Angelica imparted seriously. "And he had three testicles!"

The novice gasped, and crossed herself, a blush rising high on her cheeks.

Hiding a bitter smile, Angelica went on. "He threatened many times to use his cutlass in place of his man-part, and when I cried for mercy, he used a horse-whip to flay my bare buttocks!"

The novice gave a tiny wail and threw her hands up to cover her face.

Biting her cheek to keep from laughing, Angelica thought for a moment, then added, "The stench of him was so bad, I couldn't stand it. He smelled like the fish market at the height of summer, and his breath was so rotten I could see it! It was black, like his teeth!"

The little novice murmured a shaky prayer and crossed herself again. "El diablo!" she quietly exclaimed.

"Si," Angelica agreed as the reached the misty courtyard. "Make certain to pass what I have told you on, as a warning to the others."

"I will, Angelica," the novice promised gravely. "May God's blessing be upon you."

Angelica watched the novice leave with an amused smirk, then snapped to attention when she realized there was someone watching her.

"Be ye' Angelica Teach?" an old, salty sailor asked her, his eyes looking her up and down.

Angelica swallowed. "I am."

He nodded, and looked around, frowning. "Where be yer' belongin's?"

Angelica lifted her chin proudly. "I have none. Were you sent by my father?"

"Aye, the cap'n sent me, true enough. Well, seein' as ye' got no luggage, we'd best be gettin' back to the ship." The old, bent sailor turned from her, and began walking down the cobbled pathway to the gates and the city streets beyond.

With little choice, Angelica twisted her hands together and followed after.

Bewildered, Angelica froze on the dock before a battered longboat as the old sailor released the mooring line. "What is this?" she asked in disbelief.

The sailor spat, and held out a grimy hand to help her into the boat. "You father can't very well make port in just any old city, now, can he? We'd all be hanged, sure enough. Now sit down, milady, and I'll bring ye to yer father safe n' sound, aye?"

Gobsmacked, Angelica did as she was bade, and sat in stunned silence for some time until the morning fog began to lift from the sea, and she could make out the tattered and ominous sails of a great ship in the near distance.

"Thar she be, milady," the old salt announced proudly. "The Queen Anne's Revenge, ship of the most feared pirate in these seas."

Angelica's heart stopped. "Blackbeard," she breathed, unable to believe what was right before her eyes.

The old sailor wheezed out a laugh. "Aye, Blackbeard!"

For a moment, Angelica was more terrified than she'd ever been in her life - but then, she found herself beginning to smile madly. Surely she had naught to fear from this man who was her father. Besides, she had the feeling that with Blackbeard's help, she could find Jack Sparrow - and make good on her promise.

Angelica's cold, hearty laughter echoed across the choppy waters, chilling the hearts of sea-creature and man alike.

The End

Hijo de puta - son of a bitch/whore

Yo mataria tu - I am going to kill you!

Que chingados - WTF!

Pendejo - jackass/asshole

Tu eres más feo que el culo de un mono - You are uglier than the butt of a monkey!