Despite the fact that there is no big swear words in here, this is rated T for a reason...



Abby impatiently tapped her foot, waiting for the doors to open. Ziva's call had been a little cryptic, but what the forensic scientist managed to get from it was both Tony and Tim were being transported to the hospital. She had dropped everything at those words, and now was cursing the stupid elevator for taking too long.

When the doors finally opened on the first floor, she tore out of the NCIS building and toward her car. She was on the road not long after, redialing Ziva's number. It rang once before going to voice mail.

"Damn it, Ziva. Turn your phone back on," she snapped into the phone. Yes, she wasn't being her overly bubbly self, but there was a chance Timmy and Tony were bleeding or, heaven forbid, dying. She was worried.

She dialed Gibbs next, but then remembered he had broken his phone that morning (and on the morning Tony ran out of extra phones in the filing cabinet), so he was pretty much unreachable. Too bad Ducky and Jimmy hadn't been at the raid…

Crap, Ducky and Jimmy. She had totally forgotten to tell them. She was on the verge of calling them, but the hospital had already loomed into view and she decided to wait for news before informing the two ME's of what was happening. Besides, Gibbs or Ziva could have already gotten a hold of either man by now.

Abby parked her car, hardly registering if she took the keys from the ignition or if she shut the door. She was pretty sure she put it in park. Or, at least she hoped she did. Her purse smacked against her leg as she sprinted toward the entrance, nearly falling once on her 6-inch platform heels, a nurse giving her a strange look when she crashed into the entrance.

Abby raced toward that nurse, digging around her purse as she started talking, "I'm Abby Sciuto from NCIS. My I.D. is here somewhere. I was wondering if you know where I can find Timmy or Tony. Or, I guess, Special Agents Timothy McGee or Anthony DiNozzo. Because, well, they'd be registered under those two names. It's just Ziva David, a Mossad Officer, or NCIS Agent now, called me and told me they had been brought here, but she didn't tell me why and I really need to know why. You know? And I know you're going to probably say 'family only' but they are like my family. I mean, Tony is my big brother and Timmy…

"Well, you don't want to know, but he's like my best friend now. And I just need to know if they are all right for that reason alone. We are family. And you know…" she had finally found her I.D. when she heard a familiar voice say, "Breathe Abbs."

She turned, Gibbs heading toward her. She broke away from the bewildered nurse, rushing toward the older man. "Gibbs, are they okay?" she demanded stopping short before running into him.

"They're fine, Abby," Gibbs responded Abby catching something flickering in his eyes. It was gone before she could indentify it.

"Fine? They're fine?" Abby asked totally stunned. "I broke traffic laws to get here and all you have to say is 'they're fine?' Ziva could have told me that over the phone. Hell, she could have answered her phone when I called again."

"DiNozzo knocked it out of her hand," Gibbs responded slowly.

Abby's need to ask why wasn't as important as how much she wanted to see Tony or Tim, so she pushed Ziva's broken phone aside and said, "Can I see them?"

"Yeah, there coming right now." Gibbs turned at the sound of the elevators opening, a slightly annoyed Ziva the first out. She headed toward Gibbs and Abby, her scowl deepening when two sets of giggles erupted from the elevator.

"They are high as cats," she snapped turning toward the newly revealed Tony and Tim. And Ziva was right, partially, they were high...


Abby stood in the doorway of the conference room, watching Tony and Tim. According to Ziva and Gibbs, both of them followed a couple perps into a smoky room. Whoever had set it on fire wasn't aware of the plant life hidden in the corner. So, not only was the owner getting a hefty fine (plus jail time), but Tim, Tony, and the perps were now riding high on the reffer train. Abby couldn't help being thankful that they had been given their surprise drug tests last week. (Of course, even if they had to take another one Vance would have to see that these two were not druggies, just at the wrong place at the wrong time).

"Hey, in a fight, who would win?" Tim asked glancing at Tony.


"Between Gibbs and Superman. Who would win?"

"Duh, Gibbs," Tony pointed out.

Tim snorted and said, "You do know Superman can just throw Gibbs through a wall right?"

"Yes, but if he were to glare at Superman, Clark wouldn't know what to do. Gibbs' glare is like Kryptonite." Abby tried very hard not to giggle at how matter-of-factly Tony had stated this point.

Both boys fell silent, McGee breaking it after a few seconds by asking, "What were we talking about again?"

"Gibbs and…" Tony trailed off his face scrunching up in thought. After a second or two he finally shrugged and said, "Don't know." He looked around the room. "Are you hungry? Where's that girl and our food?"

"You mean Ziva?"

"Yeah, Ziva." Tony stopped for a second, "Ziva? Ziva?" he said her name slower, "Ziva. That's a funny name. Say it."

"Ziva," Tim said equally as slow. "Zee-vah. Zee-vah." McGee started giggling, his giggles soon turning into full blown laughter. Tony joined him, nearly falling out of his chair. He caught the edge of the table, Tim laughing harder.

"What are they doing?" Ziva asked stopping to look over Abby's shoulder.

"Laughing at your name," Abby answered turning to face Ziva. "Tony nearly fell out of his chair."

"Can you give them this?" Ziva asked holding out a bag of greasy food. "They were funny the first few minutes, but since Tony broke my phone…"

"Yeah," Abby replied taking the bag. As Ziva turned to leave, Abby said, "Hey, how did that happen anyway?"

"McGee fell out off the hospital bed and Tony started laughing. He managed to back into me and I dropped my phone."

"Sorry," Abby replied lamely.

"For what? You did not do this." Ziva then headed back to her desk. Abby turned, stepping into the room with the bag.

"Hey, you're not… uh… Lisa," Tony said and started laughing.

"That's not her name. It's Amy," Tim pointed out.

"I know that, McGee.

"You're both wrong," Abby said patiently dropping the bag onto the table. "It's Ziva and Abby. Lisa and Amy are from McGee's books."

"LJ Tibbs!" Tony shouted and started laughing. "That's like Gibbs but not."

"It even rhymes," McGee pointed out. "I'm so smart."

Trying hard not to laugh, this really wasn't an appropriate time to encourage their antics, Abby slowly backed out of the room. She nearly ran into Gibbs outside of the room, giving him a small smile as she started toward the back elevators.

She was barely away from the room when she heard Tony say, "I liked your book, McGee."

"What book?" McGee was quiet for a second. "Oh, that one. Thanks Tony."

If there was any doubt that Tony was high, it had just been stamped on. He would never admit that if he weren't. She waved at Ziva as she moved toward the elevators, the ex-Mossad agent smiling back before returning to her computer.

Once she was in the elevator, her lab's floor pressed, she let a chuckle escape her lips. Ziva was right, they were as high as cats. Laughing harder, Abby barely felt the elevator jolt to life…


This was originally supposed to be posted for another fandom, but then I started watching NCIS and I thought it would be funnier if it happened to McGee and DiNozzo. And everything is researched by computer only (no experiments were done).

Oh, and this is my first go without Benny, so if anyone it OOC I apologize. Oh, and please tell me if anyone if OOC so I can work on not being so OOC next time. (That's just fun to type: OOC)

Anyway, thanks for reading, drop a comment if you can, and I don't own these characters.


P.S. I am debating whether or not to write a part two. You know with either Tony or Tim waking up the next morning. I'm just not sure...