All recognizable characters belong to their respective owners (Cartoon Network). For a prompt on YJ_Anon_Meme.
"I'm gonna go to Gotham, hang out with Robin a bit, 'kay? Kay! Thanks! Bye!"
"Whoa, hold on a second." Barry reaches out to grab the back of Wally's shirt. "I thought you guys were all at Mount Justice tonight?"
"No, tonight we're going to Gotham. It's a training thing. Bye!"
"Wait!" Barry regrabs the shirt, tugging Wally just high enough that his balance is screwed like whoa. "Does Batman know you guys are invading his city?"
"Duh," Wally says, actually holding still, but rolling his eyes. "He assigned us this mission. We're to patrol Gotham while you guys are having your meeting. In space."
"Team's waiting gotta run bye!"
And this time Barry lets him go.
Because the Flash is going to have words with the Batman.
He's pretty sure he didn't miss much by tuning the meeting out. Instead, he's been glaring at Bats, and mentally writing his little rant.
He gets a few odd looks, but no one bothers him while he's got such an obvious mad on for the Batman.
Finally, finally, the meeting is adjourned, and Flash is over by Batman's chair before the man can even get up.
"You're letting the kids out in Gotham," Barry says, but it doesn't quite echo what's in his head, so he says again, "You. Are letting the KIDS. Out in Gotham."
And just like that, he's got everyone's attention. "What?" says Superman. "You're letting the kids' team into Gotham?"
"No!" Barry fumes. "He assigned them to patrol Gotham. While he isn't even there! They are in Gotham right now!"
"And doing fine," Batman says calmly. Barry wants to smack him. This is apparently conveyed accurately through his growl, because Batman sighs and taps at his glove. A holograph screen pops up, and Batman pushes at it with his finger. The screen swivels around to face the Flash.
"The coolest toys," someone breathes, but the Flash doesn't care who. He's busy trying to read the semi-transparent screen in front of his nose.
"Vital statistics and real-time locations of every member of the team," Batman supplies. "I can tap into their HUDs at any given time. The Batmobile and Batplane are on remote patrol, and at least one can reach every member within two minutes' notice. All the major villains are safely behind bars at the moment. They are in rotating teams, and check in every half hour. Robin is leading."
"But they're our partners!" Barry doesn't quite shout, but his voice is definitely raised. "What if something—I mean, he's my nephew!"
Suddenly, without changing his posture, Batman is looming. "Kid Flash," he enunciates, "is an exceedingly capable individual who has progressed exponentially with exposure to others similar in age. All of the young adults have increased communication skills and are learning how to work as a team. They are growing up, and the best thing we can do is help them, not stunt them."
There's a moment of silence, and then a chirrup as Aquaman activates his communicator. A second later, he 's talking to thin air as he says, "Kaldur'ahm? I hear you're in Gotham. Is everything okay?"
Batman leans over and pokes the communicator, which apparently turns it on speaker setting. Barry frowns at his communicator. He didn't know it could do that.
Kaldur's voice comes through clearly. "Yes, my king," he says, and even Barry can hear the suppressed glee in his voice. "We have apprehended seven criminals already this night. And Robin is right; the architecture here is amazing."
Aquaman frowns, but the corners of his mouth are twitching up anyways. "Just be safe," he advises.
"I do my best," Kaldur says, and then, "My apologies, but—" and there's not one person in the room that doesn't recognize the sound of criminal butt being kicked.
"Right, Aquaman out."
The Martian Manhunter pipes in. "M'Gann is similarly pleased," he reports. "The Gotham criminals are very upset tonight."
Batman doesn't fold his arms, or gloat, or even smile, but instead just looks at Barry.
"Fine!" Barry says, throwing up his hands. "But if any of them have a so much as a single scratch, we're going to have words."
"Understood," Batman says, and flows into the shadows and out of the room. He clicks his own communicator on the way, saying "Robin? I'm on my way. Rendezvous at Point Beta-Three." And then he's gone.
"He's stolen my sidekick," Barry says in sheer disbelief. "He just—I don't...What just happened?"
"Batman happened," Superman says, resting a hand on Barry's shoulder. "Don't bother trying to figure it out. At least he didn't verbally tear you down."
"I think this is the happiest I've ever seen him, actually," Diana says. "Six teenagers and they're all his." Barry sputters, Superman shakes his head, Aquaman's disappeared, J'onn is smiling, Green Arrow shrugs because he knew that all along, and Diana just laughs.
Because sometimes, Batman just happens. Suddenly and violently and all over the place.