Just some changes I made; Henry married Anne Boleyn in 1530 not 1533, so Mary would be fourteen not seventeen when it happened. KOA dies in 1533 not 1536. Elizabeth was born in 1530 not 1533, since I moved her parents' marriage back.
In this story George Boleyn would be portrayed by Jim Sturgess. The actor from the movie, The other Boleyn Girl, instead of Padriac Delaney
Three years ago her father had divorced her mother and declared her a bastard. That same year her half sister was born. After refusing to sign the oath recognizing her father as head of the church and also recognizing herself as a bastard, Mary was punished by being placed in the household of her sister; there was still hope though. People still thought Mary could still be the heir. Two years ago, her hopes and dreams where shattered when younger brother prince Edward was born, then a year later, Mary's heart was crushed when her mother died.
Things had been hard for her; she was so alone and had no body. She did not hate her siblings, No Elizabeth and Edward were darlings, and they were just innocent children that happened to have huge impacts on Mary's life.
Mary had not seen her father in three years, well she had seen him when he came to visit his other children, but he never saw her. He never asked about her, he just didn't care and that hurt her a lot. He had once said she was his pearl and he had loved her once upon a time, but things had changed now.
When Henry came to visit Elizabeth and Edward, Mary would hide behind a door and peek to see how he lifted them up and played with them. No one seemed to notice she was not there to greet the king. Sometime though Henry came with his queen and she always had a thing or two to say to Mary.
She always asked her if she was ready to recognize her as queen, but every time Mary had the same answer
"I know no other queen, but my mother"
But her mother was dead now, she was gone and Henry's marriage to Anne could not be questioned anymore.
Mary was always alone, she had always tried to be strong and sometimes when Chapuys would come visit her, she would pretend all was well, but it wasn't. She had tried to be strong the last three years, but when her mother died, Mary broke. Her father had not even come to see her or even sent some words of comfort. He just did not care about her.
Mary looked at the river in front of her, she had discovered this place not long ago, it was not too far from Hatfield castle, but it was far enough for her to be alone and away from the world.
She wanted the pain to end and she knew no one would care if she was gone, the only person that cared for her was dead now and she was going to meet her.
Mary could not swim and she knew her dress would pull her down. She knew Very well that this was wrong, but she believed God himself should understand how terrible her life was.
Without looking back, Mary jumped into the river.
I understand how OOC this is for Mary, but that's how I pictured the story to start. Understand that she was young and alone and was not thinking right
Let me know what you think. Should I continue?