Dean leaves his mom, reassuring her that he'll call the doctor; a plan all ready forming in his mind. He needed to talk to Cas, as simple and silly as it sounded he needed to confront him. If the conversation didn't work then he'd turn to the tough love approach.
On the way he calls Dr. Visyak, pretending to just be checking in and seeing if Cas's medication has changed or anything. Dean's not surprised to find that it hasn't and that Castiel is suppressing things about his mother and the time he spent living at home. He arrives back at the apartment a couple hours before Cas was due home from work and sets things up. The good doctor was helping how she could, but Dean needed to help the way he could.
Running a cold bath for the backup plan he keeps the lights off as he sits in a wait for the other man. Castiel ends up being a half hour later than normal even when walking home. The dark haired man sauntering in, not even noticing Dean as he flips on the lights and tosses his bag on the floor. He pulls of his restricting sweater vest and dress shirt before pulling out the all too familiar pill bottle.
"Cas," Dean greets quiety.
"Dean," he states, casting his dull eyes at him, "I thought you weren't going to be home."
"How about that talk?" he asks ignoring Cas's bare torso.
"It's not what you think," Cas starts lamely, "It's a new thing Visyak gave me."
Dean just shakes his head in disbelief, "Even if that was true, we still need to talk about what's going on with you."
"Really, because the wall says otherwise," Dean fixes him with a look as he crosses his arms.
"Walls do not talk," Cas deadpans.
"You know what I mean," he glares.
They're silent for a beat, staring at each other before Cas crosses the distance to straddle Dean's lap, "I am sorry, Dean," he nuzzles the side of Dean's face.
Dean grips his shoulders and pulls him back, "I don't want your apologies… I want an explanation." He tries to keep his resolve.
Castiel sighs audibly, resting his head against Dean shoulder, "I suppose…" he starts, "There was just a lot of things brought up yesterday…"
"So you fall off the wagon?" Dean huffs, forcing the dark haired man to look at him.
"I've never had a problem with liquor," Cas intones.
"I talked to your doctor today," he challenges.
"Oh," He whispers in realization.
"You know I never make you talk about the past or any of that shit, but you know I'm here if you need to me."
"I know," Cas nods quietly.
"Really?" Dean scoffs, scrutinizing the other man as his anger starts to come out, "Three years Castiel and this is what it takes for you crawl back inside that pill bottle… and you have the nerve to hide it from me!"
"I just…" he starts, standing up to put a distance between them. "It was just for right now, until I could stop… thinking… and I know you do not understand why I feel this," he pauses lighting a cigarette, "And I don't expect you too, but I need to just step away right now."
"You need that shit more than me!" Dean states evenly, rising so that they where eye to eye. "I should be enough Castiel!" he Bellows, "Are you telling me that you're going to run off to this whenever shit gets a little too fucking real for you!"
"Dean," Cas begins, looking wrecked as the truth hits him.
"If that's the case, then I can't do this… not after everything we had fought for," he admits brokenly, "I love you, but you have to choose between me and this," he holds up the orange pill bottle.
A pregnant silence falls over them, Cas studying the floor, Dean taking the opportunity to empty the remaining pills down the drain of the kitchen sink.
"I know you're high right now," Dean breaks the silence, "But you know what it's like to be sober now, Cas… and I don't know who high you is anymore." He faces the dark haired man, closing the distance between them, a hand on his face so there eyes meet. "Can you honestly tell me that this," he kisses him slowly, "can even compare to sober?"
Castiel's lip trembles ever so slightly as he shakes his head, bringing his still dull blue eyes up to meet Dean's.
:(REVIEW): Also I'll prob be starting a new story... western/1800's Au fun times!