If you have not seen the fish slapping dance skitfrom Monty Python's Flying Circus, then stop reading. Go to youtube and look it up. Then, you will understand this story.
Real A/N: I saw this skit and I had to write this. It's for Seychelles' birthday, June 29th. Which is today! Happy birthday Seychelles! Thank you to Rugged Individual for beta-reading this. I don't own Hetalia~!
An elegant white car drove down a road on the island of Mahe in the country of Seychelles. The man driving the car was equally elegant. He had shoulder-length blonde hair, sapphire blue eyes, and a slight scruff of facial hair on his chin. He was wearing an impeccable white suit.
There was reason France was visiting his former colony. Quite simply, he missed her. Seychelles was such a nice girl, and France enjoyed seeing her when he got the chance (even if that English bastard was there whenever he visited her).
France parked his car in the driveway of Seychelles' lovely home. It was a large, white Neo-Classical designed manor. There was a path leading up to the front door, lined with fragrant tropical flowers. Seychelles' home was also right on the beach. In her backyard was a small dock.
"Bonjour Cecile," France said, using Seychelles' human name, when he entered the house. There was no answer.
"Cecile? Cecile," France called all about the bottom floor of the home, with still no answer. He then notice strange noises out in the backyard, and went to investigate it.
Out on Seychelles' dock, France saw the strangest sight.
Seychelles and England were standing and facing each other. England was holding two small fish in each of his hands and doing some strange hopping footwork. He got close enough to Seychelles where he slapped her, not very hard, in the face with both fish. He stopped suddenly afterward.
Then, Seychelles pulled a giant fish seemingly out of nowhere and smacked England hard in the face with it. The force of the hit was so hard that it knocked England off of the dock and into the tropical blue waters of the Indian Ocean.
It wasn't until France was doubled over with laughter that Seychelles noticed him. "Bonjour Francis," she said as she walked over to him. England swam out of the ocean, sputtering.
"Bonjour Cecile," France said as he kissed Seychelles' cheeks. "Commet ca va?" he asked in his native French.
"Ca va bien," Seychelles replied happily.
"Why did you smack Angleterre into the ocean?" France asked, smiling.
"Oh, that," Seychelles replied nonchalantly. "I was teaching Arthur my native fish slapping dance."
It took a few seconds for her words to sink in. "Your what?" he asked, dumbfounded.
"My fish slapping dance. It's a traditional dance people here do," Seychelles said without missing a beat. "Would you like me to teach you to?" she asked innocently.
"Non, non," France replied, shaking his head. A plan formed into his head as soon as he said that. "But could you and Angleterre show me it?" he asked.
"Sure!" Seychelles grinned, realizing what France wanted. Even thought she was his colony, Seychelles didn't like England very much.
"England," she walked over to him. England, however, was lying in the white sand, still gasping slightly. "Can we do the dance again?"
"Hell no!" England yelled fiercely. "I almost drowned this time and you want to do that stupid dance again?"
"Yes," Seychelles deadpanned.
"Fine," England sighed. While she may not have cared for him very much, England had a certain fondness for the little island girl.
They took their same position on the dock as before. England did the hopping steps and slapped Seychelles with the fish in his left hand. He did the same thing with his right hand. England slapped Seychelles with both fish twice. He stopped. Then Seychelles smacked England hard in the face with the same large fish as before. The slap again knocked England off of the dock and into the ocean.
"That's it! No more! I'm leaving!" England fumed and stormed away and out of Seychelles' house.
France in a fit of laughter again. "How many times have you done that to Angleterre?" he gasped.
"Six," Seychelles giggled. "I'm surprised he hadn't noticed you. I guess he was too pissed."
"Oui, oui," France smiled. He had raised Seychelles perfectly, he thought..
"I need to go wash up," Seychelles said, walking back to her home. "My face smells like herring now."
Seychelles was lounging on the couch in her home, watching T. V. She wasn't really looking for anything particlar, but she saw something that caught her attention. Looking at the channel, she saw that it was the BBC.
Two men were facing each other near a waterway. One was holding two fish in each of his hands. He was doing some hopping step moves and would slap the other man with the fish.
'That's my fish slapping dance!' Seychelles thought as the second man slapped the other with a huge fish and into the water.
Seychelles smiled to herself. England had liked her dance after all.
Translations for the French:
Commet ca va?- How are you?
Ca va bien- I'm good
Hope you enjoyed this~! Please read and review