Author's Note for Don't Panic!: Thanks to Luxken27's summer mini challenge, I have some prompt inspiration and I've decided to write up some drabbles for Full Metal Panic. These will all be generally short one shots (unless I change my mind) in a variety of different genres at different times in the series. I'll probably skip around a bit. These drabbles are just a collection of stories and they will focus mainly on the Sousuke/Kaname pairing, but be on the lookout for Weber/Mao and any other pairings (or maybe even genfic) that might come up.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Full Metal Panic or the characters written by Shoji Gatoh and I'm not receiving any money for writing these stories.

Title: Desire
Author: Starzki
Rating: K+
Genre: Introspection/Angst
Prompt: sky blue
Word Count: 439
Summary: Sousuke learns what it is to want.


Sousuke learned at a young age how dangerous it was to want something. He didn't remember a time in his life where something he might have desired wasn't cruelly taken from him.

Sousuke knew how ephemeral everything in his life truly was. He could count on no one and nothing. Even something as simple as a clear blue sky, a meal at the end of the day, or a friendship could all be ripped away from him by the simplest things: a windstorm, a mangy cur that hadn't been fed in weeks, or a stray bullet.

It was best not to want. That way, Sousuke could be happily surprised when the day stayed pleasant, when he went to bed with a full belly, or when he amicably parted ways with a colleague whose company he had enjoyed.

For much of his life, Sousuke only ever really wanted one thing: to live. It was the only thing that couldn't end up hurting him if and when it was taken away. He wanted his life; anything positive that came with living it, even any good that he did with it, was merely a bonus to him.

But then Sousuke met Kaname Chidori. It was then he knew what true desire felt like.

He tried to fight it. He knew how much danger she was in and how desperately her enemies wanted to chew up her mind and spit out her empty shell when they were done. He'd seen it before.

Sousuke tried to fight it. Kaname, without even realizing it, fought him back. He saw how absolutely alive she was. She could look at the big blue sky and want and love and sing and rage and care and live. She was like a pretty blue flame that danced from place to place and never ceased to shine with life.

A part of Sousuke believed that Kaname was too alive to really be in danger and he slowly forgot about the perils of wanting. After all, she proved time and again that she could handle the obstacles that were thrown her way. Day by day, his desire grew and spread like a wildfire, especially when it seemed as though she might also want him back.

He couldn't help it. He wanted her. He wanted just to stand by her. He wanted her to look at him with that passion for life in her beautiful brown eyes. He wanted to share his life with her.

He wanted her, a future with her, and some days he thought that his focused desire for her might be the one thing that made him human.


AN2: I'm so happy to be writing back in the FMP fandom again. Let me know what you think!