Silly little 1-shot that I HAD to do...

Don't really remember what made me think of it...



(rated for subject and safety)

Eight-year-old Robin sat on a tall chair next to Batman in the Watchtower's monitor room. He had been playing with his car- a new one that Bruce had bought him when he skinned his knee during training- when Hawkgirl came into the room, hefting her mace over her hip. She talked to Batman for a minute or two, about some mission and a broken camera in the South Wing, then left, smiling at Robin as she went, and said, "What a cute baby boy," to herself.

That got Robin thinking.

He put down his plane in his lap, biting his lip thoughtfully. Looking up, the small boy saw Batman typing something into the keypad. "Batman?"

Batman stopped and turned to the brightly-clad child. "Yes, Robin?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Batman tried to hide a smirk.

"You just did."

Robin scoffed and rolled his eyes behind his mask. "Something else!"

Batman nodded. "Sure, Robin. I always have time for you."

"Where do babies come from?"

Robin had never seen the Dark Knight turn that shade of pink. After a few moments of silence, in which Batman opened and shut his mouth many times in a row, he turned back to the computers. "I'm very, very busy, Robin. Maybe you should ask Uncle Clark."

Robin, frowning, scampered down from the tall chair and, after grabbing his airplane, headed off to the training area where he knew Superman would be.



"Good job, Kara!" Superman called to his cousin. "Now, we just need to work on your landings!"

As Green Lantern helped Supergirl out of the wall, a tiny voice piped up behind Superman. "Uncle Clark?"

"GAH!" Superman jumped about ten feet- literally- before he realized it was Robin. Only Batman and Robin could defy the laws of super-hearing.

Superman smiled at the small boy, who looked confused. "Yes, Robin?"

"I had a question, but Batman said he was busy, and that you could answer it for me."

Superman bent over to see eye-to-eye, or rather, eye-to-mask with the boy. "Yeeees?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Superman's face turned green, and his eyes widened. "I- Uh- I mean, I know- but, uh... I- I need to check on Kara!" he exclaimed as he flew away. "Ask Uncle Oliver!" he called over his shoulder.

Robin frowned to himself. "Why's that question so hard?"



He found Green Arrow in the cafeteria, sitting almost on top of Black Canary as they stared at each other with goofy faces on. Black Canary licked her lips slowly, and Green Arrow's face lit up.

Robin frowned at her. "Auntie Dinah, it's rude to stick your tongue out."

She jumped when she heard Robin. "God! What's with those Bats?"

Robin shook his head. "Uncle Ollie?"

Green Arrow grinned and picked Robin up in his arms. "Yes, my little bird?"

"Superman and Batman wouldn't answer my question!"

Green Arrow cocked an eyebrow. "And what would that question be?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Green Arrow's face froze. But, slowly, his neck turned to face Black Canary, who looked as if she would explode with laughter. "I- I'll see you later, Oliver," she said, barely hiding her smile as she scampered off.

Green Arrow turned back to Robin, placing him on the ground. "I just remembered, birdie, that I've got a meeting."

Robin frowned, placing his hands on his hips, his plane still in one gloved fist. "With who?"

Green Arrow mumbled, "Batman and Superman," before running off.

Robin scowled, now getting annoyed. Then, he saw Flash sitting next to Green Lantern and Hawkman. So, he walked over. "Flash'll answer my question!"

When the three older heroes saw Robin coming, they all smiled. "Hey, Robbie boy!" Flash cried out as he tickled Robin. The boy squeaked and leaped into Green Lantern's lap. The Black man laughed deeply.

"Flash, leave the kid alone!"

Flash rolled his eyes as he stuffed a hotdog in his mouth. Robin waited for him to chew and swallow. When Hawkman saw Robin's curious gaze, he asked him, "What's wrong, kid?"

Robin shrugged, a firm mini-Bat-glare on his face. "I have a question, but Batman, Superman, and Green Arrow all refuse to answer it!"

Flash swallowed. "Alright, Kiddo! What's your question?"

"Where do babies come from?"

All of a sudden, Flash's mouth was full of food. He pointed to it and shrugged. Scowling, Robin turned to Hawkman, who was turning a furious shade of violet. "I just remembered- I need to go... clean my hammer!" he cried, before flying off.

Robin grumbled as he looked up at Green Lantern. The man was staring down at him. "Uh- see, Robin- um... When a man and a woman love each other very much... well... uh-"

"Hey, John!" came Hawkgirl's feminine voice.

Green Lantern stood abruptly, placing Robin in his seat as Hawkgirl approached with her tray. Quickly, Green Lantern turned her around. With a confused glance, Hawkgirl waved to Robin and walked to a different table with Green Lantern.

"Well," Robin began, turning, "that just leaves-"

But Flash was gone, only a tray splattered with crumbs and mustard left.

Robin cried out in frustration and stomped his foot. "What's so hard about that question?"

"What question?"

Robin turned and saw Wonder Woman smiling down at him. "Oh! Hi, Auntie Diana."

The Amazonian woman grinned and picked Robin up into her arms. "Hi, Robin. Now then, what question?"

"I just wanna know where babies come from."

Wonder Woman put on her wondering (haha) face. "Well, where I come from, we're made from the mud, formed by clay, and breathed life into by the gods."

Robin wrinkled up his nose. "Yeah, but technically, you're like- an alien- kinda."

Wonder Woman arched a brow at him, and Robin giggled. "I think I'll ask J'onn. He knows everything!"

"But he's an alien."

Robin shrugged. "He's smarter than you?"

Wonder Woman abruptly dropped the boy and stormed off.



Martian Manhunter was on the Bridge, controlling the zeta-beam transporters as heroes came and went. It wasn't too busy, but you never knew when an emergency would come up, so the Martian was always prepared.


The Martian had to smile when he heard Robin's innocent little voice.

Not turning from the console, Martian Manhunter lifted Robin into the air with his mind. The boy squealed with delight as he floated in front of the alien above the control panel.

"Something is troubling you, young hero," came the deep, booming voice.

Robin nodded. "Yeah! No body can answer my question! I mean, Auntie Diana tried, but she's kinda' an alien, so it didn't work out."

Martian Manhunter cocked an eye-bone (he doesn't have eyebrows, really) at the boy. "I am an alien."

Robin nodded and shook his hand in the air. "No, no, I mean, you know more about humans than she does."

Martian Manhunter nodded. "Yes, I suppose I do. So, does your question have to do with humans?"


"Alright, Robin, what is your question?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Martian Manhunter abruptly stopped what he was doing, and Robin saw his cheeks flush blue. "Hey! Martians blush blue!"

Sadly, this certain Martian decided to turn invisible.

Robin's little butt fell on the console, and he grumbled, "What is so hard about answering a question?"

And he stomped off.



Robin found himself at the inside-pool at the Watchtower, in his little swimming trunks and black-tinted goggles. He was angry, and he needed to work it off.

He swam around for a little while, seeing how long he could hold his breath and such, when a large hand sudden pulled him out of the water by his ankle.


When he saw that who it was, he giggled. "Mr. King Corin!"

Aquaman smiled as he fixed Robin right-side up and sat him on the edge of the pool. "Hello, little guppy! How are you today?"

Robin frowned, and Aquaman mirrored him. "Oh goodness. What's wrong, guppy?"


The shout nearly sent Aquaman spiraling. He blinked harshly, digging his pinkie in his ear, before saying, "Well, lad, just ask me."

Robin's face lit up, but he suddenly looked suspicious. "You promise to answer?"

"I do not promise anything, young guppy, for you never know whether or not a promise will truly be answered."

Robin rolled his eyes for the thousandth time that day. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways. My question?"

Aquaman smiled, extending his arms. "Ask away!"

"Where do babies come from?"

There was an odd silence, in which Aquaman was frozen with a plastered smile and his arms out. Then, still looking that way, he slowly sunk into the water.

When he was fully submerged, Robin stuck his head under, looking around furiously as he tried to find the Atalantean. "DARN IT!" he cried into the water, but it sounded more like, "DAUGRNHB GLBIT!"



Thoroughly frustrated, the tiny eight-year-old made his way down the hall, wishing he had heat-vision so that he could melt something.

While he stormed on, looking at the floor, Robin didn't even think to look up, until-



A robotic voice said, "I apologize, Robin."

Looking up, the Boy Wonder grinned. "Red Tornado!"

Red Tornado faced the boy. (He doesn't have eyes, really, so how can he look at Robin?) "Yes, Robin, I am Red Tornado."

Robin suddenly had one of those things that sounds like a fart and starts with 'epiph' and ends with 'fanny'. "Red Tornado," he said sweetly. Red Tornado's a robot! He has to tell me!


"Where to babies come from?"

Red Tornado's 'eyes' suddenly scanned Robin's body. The boy jumped and squeaked, staring at the robot as green light flashed over his costume. "Woah! What was that?"

"My age scanner. You are eight, so, you are not permitted to know the answer to your question."

With that, the robot left.

Robin pulled at his hair and gnashed his teeth together.



He had one more person he wanted to try.

Very softly, Robin knocked on the door.

"Come in," called a soft voice.

Robin opened it, and saw her brushing her wings. "Hi, Robin!" Hawkgirl grinned and took off her mask. "Come," she said, patting the seat in front of her. "Sit down."

Robin, looking dejected, did as he was told. Hawkgirl eyed his suspiciously. Robin was a famous actor. "What's wrong, Robin?"

The water-works came. "N-n-no o-o-one l-loves me!"

She melted. "Oh, Robin! What would make you think that?"

"N-n-no o-one is a-a-a-answering my q-q-question!" he wailed, crying crocodile tears as he wrapped his arms around Hawkgirl's neck.

She patted his back as he 'wept' (though she had forgotten about his acting skills). "Oh, Robin... Here," she said, placing him in her lap. "What is your question?"

"I-I j-j-just want to know w-where babies come from..."

All of a sudden, Hawkgirl laughed loudly. Robin was taken aback as she wiped tears from her eyes. "Oh!" she exclaimed, patting her chest. "You asked all the guys, didn't you?"

He nodded. "But I also asked Auntie Diana-"

"-And she told you about the clay-thingie?"

He nodded.

Grinning, Hawkgirl stood from the bed and went to her bookshelf. Coming back over, she held a picture-book. On the back, it said, "The 'How-To-Tell-Your-Children' Series!"

"I originally got this for Green Arrow," she said, "when he adopted Speedy. Buuut..." She pulled Robin into her lap and showed him the cover. On it was a picture of a baby with rosy cheeks and big blue eyes. In big, blue font, the title read: Where Babies Come From.

"Here," the Thangarian said, "I'll read it to you."


Robin nodded. "Oooh! That makes sense!"

Closing the book, Hawkgirl let the boy scramble off her lap. He smiled at her and grabbed his plane before saying, "Thanks, Auntie Shayera!"

She waved as he left, chuckling to herself. "Stupid men... They're so dense. Kids are..." she paused for a word. "Impressionable."



Later that night, when Batman was now Bruce, Robin was now Dick, and the Watchtower was now the Manor, Bruce tucked Dick into bed.

"Alrighty," he said, tucking in the boy's legs. "Goodnight, Dick."

"Goodnight, Bruce."

After kissing the boy's forehead, Bruce turned to go. But Dick called out, "Wait!"

Bruce turned expectantly. "Yes, Dickie?"

"Why didn't you answer my question today?"

Bruce paled, opening and shutting his mouth like a goldfish. "I- I uh... I-"

"Because I asked Superman, Green Arrow, Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkman, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, and you, and none of you answered it!" He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. Then, the boy looked thoughtful. "Okay, Auntie Diana tried to answer it, but anyways..."

He giggled as Bruce still continued to make himself look more like Fishman than Batman.

"Really, Bruce. If it was that easy, why didn't you tell me?"

"Easy?" Bruce finally found his voice.

Dick nodded. "Auntie Shayera told me."

Bruce looked torn between relief, concern, and confusion. "Oh... Okay..." And he left.

As Dick cuddled with his pillow, he breathed out, "Who knew a bird delivered babies to peoples' houses?"

Cute, right?

Stupid, very OOC, and crack-ish,

but cute, right?


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(I mean, seriously, you've read all the way down to here, so what the heck is another ten seconds gonna be, eh?)