So this is because I think that the way Rory and Logan said goodbye in Unto the Breach sucked.
I was standing with my mom, dad, and grandparents when I turned and saw Logan talking with another graduate. He looked up at that instant and saw me, and motioned to me. I looked to my mom and hesitantly told her that I would be right back. I walked toward Logan, trying to prepare myself for what was to come.
"Hey congratulations," he sounded happy. But there was a hint of something else in his voice, like he knew what was about to happen.
"Yeah, you did great. No tripping, no dropping the diploma."
"No nothing like that," I said.
"I remember when I graduated, I was a little tipsy, big suprise there huh? And I did trip. And I grabbed onto the robe of Marsha Hadley, who was so not the person to grab," he was stalling, and we both knew it.
"Logan! ... I'm sorry, I can't. I love you. You know I love you I love the idea of being married to you. But... there are just a lot of things in my life right now that are undecided, which used to scare me, but now I kind of like that it's all wide open. And if I marry you, it just won't be." I could see his face fall as I talked, and is was all I could do to keep going.
"So what? I move to San Francisco, you stay back east, and we see each other occasionally?"
"Well, we can try long distance. We've done it before."
"And you really think that would work," he asked incredulously.
"I think it would be hard but-" he interupted me before I could complete my sentence.
"I don't want to do that Rory. I don't want to move backwards. If we can't take the next step...," he shrugged his shoulders as he trailed off.
"What?" I asked even though I knew.
"I mean-," he stopped abruptly, but it didn't matter. I already knew what he meant.
"Does it have to be all or nothing?"
"Yeah, it does."
"But... we could try." I was trying to cling onto any hope that was left. There wasn't a lot.
"What's the point?"
"So..." I held his ring out to him. He looked at me for a second before taking it from me. "Goodbye Rory."
He turned and started to walk away. I watched him walk for a few seconds before starting back towards my family. But then I thought better of it. I didn't want our relationship to end like this. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair to either of us. I ran after him, praying that he would listen. I grabbed his arm and he stopped walking. When he turned to face me I started talking.
"I just need time Logan. Just give me some time and I will get there."
"I don't have time Rory. I can't wait. I have to go to Palo Alto. You know that."
"Okay...okay. Then I just... please."
"I don't want to wait."
"I know. Then... I need you to convince me."
"Convince you? Rory, I am not going to force you into this." He looked at me in disbelief.
"Please Logan. Just tell me that this yes going to be what's right for me, for you... for us. Please."
"No. Rory, I know what is right for me. I know what I need. What I want. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. That's what was right for me. But you, you just dont know do you?"
"I don't... I can't loose you Logan. I don't want to loose you." At this point, tears started to flow freely down my face.
"You can't loose me, but you can't keep me either."
"What do you mean I can't keep you?"
"I have to go Rory. I have to do what's right for me. I have to..."
"What?" I was confused, I didn't know what he meant. I was struggling to stop the tears that were flowing down my face.
"I have to let you go. I have to go to Palo Alto and leave you behind. I have to."
"No you don't Logan. You don't have to. We can still be together."
"We can't Rory. You have to choices right here. You say yes, or we go our seperate ways. I'm sorry, but that is the way it has to be Rory."
"NO! Just, tell me something. Tell me that you love me or that you hate me. Anything. And I will say yes. I promise."
"I'll let you go Rory. Your not ready. I'm going to let you go and be free. You can do everything that you want to do with your life. You can be who you want and what you want without someone waiting in the sidelines. Without me in the sidelines. Okay. I want you to go and be happy. I want you to fulfill your dreams. I want you to make me proud. I want to go to Palo Alto. I want to move on, and be happy. I want to see you make it big and brag to everyone that I know the famous Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. Or I want you to say yes, right here, right now. But I want you to say yes because it's what you want. Not because it's what I want."
"But that isn't what I want Logan. I don't think it is."
"What do you want Rory. Stop asking me what you should do, and think about what you really want."
"I don't know what I want, okay? I just don't know."
"Than just say yes Rory. Stop thinking about it and say yes. Don't rationalize."
"I can't. Logan you know I can't. I want to be with you. I do, but I... I want my options too, Logan."
"This is goodbye then."
"Yeah. I know... I know."
"Please," I begged one last time. He closed the distance between us and pulled me into a hug.
"I love you Ace. Remember that." With that said, he let go of me, and turned to walk away. Right before he got into his car, I yelled to him.
"If you loved me as much as you say you do, Logan, you would wait for me."
For now this is going to be a one-shot, but I might continue on with it. Let me know if you think I should.
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