Warnings: Slash, Nonrelated, Incest, Language
Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me and the song at the end of the chapter is called "I'm Not That Girl" from the musical Wicked.
Note: Elena and Jeremy aren't related. Elena is actually Jenna's daughter and not her niece in this story. Stefan and Damon are still brothers but they aren't vampires.
"You're being ridiculous!" Seventeen year-old Elena Sommers says, tucking some hair behind her ear and then shoving my shoulder with surprising force for a cheerleader.
I wince and massage it, positive of future bruising. "How so?"
She rolls her eyes. "Because you seriously believe your best friends, Damon and Stefan Salvatore, who are also your boyfriends don't care about you anymore."
I turn away and struggle to keep my emotions in check. "They don't."
Sighing, she shakes her head. "How do you know that, Jer?" When I don't answer, she reaches over and brings my face around to hers, her expression softening as a traitor tear spills over and falls down my cheek only to be followed by more.
"They don't want to spend time with me anymore," I say, slapping away my tears; this is no time to be a girl. "Every time I want to do something with them, it's always, 'not now, Jer, I'm busy,' 'later, Jer,' or 'we're not in the mood.' Nothing I wear turns them on either. On certain nights, I've worn specific outfits and not even a second glance or ever a 'you look nice, Jeremy.' There will also be moments where we're together but the minute one of their phones rings, they excuse themselves."
Elena giggles. "You really sound like a girl," she says amused. I glare; my best friends and lovers have broken my heart and she's laughing? "Jere," she sighs and grips my hands, "all that doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. Yes, those are sometimes signs of an upcoming break up but Damon and Stefan are crazy about you. Maybe they're busy…"
"For three weeks, Elena? They've ignored me for three weeks!" Swiftly, she presses her hand over her mouth as her eyes fill with disbelief. I nod and pull away, a lump forming in my throat. "They don't want me anymore. Actually I don't think they ever did."
Unable to stay sitting, I switch to standing by her bedroom window. Across the street, I watch a black Mercedes pull into a driveway before an older man climbs. He's probably just arriving home from work. Seconds later, a young girl, she can't be older than five, throws open the door, scurrying down the steps and throwing her arms around the man's neck, her happy shriek of Daddy! tugging at my heart. A moment later a younger man emerges from the house, lightly kissing the older man's cheek, his eyes bright with love. I squeeze my eyes shut.
Even before we started our relationship, Damon, Stefan and I shared a closer bond than most best friends. I'm not sure when my feelings shifted, but I remember standing in the bleachers the night the Timberwolves football team won the State Championship game. Stefan scored the winning touchdown. When I saw that, I leapt to my feet, throwing my arms around Damon and kissing him smack on the lips before racing down the stairs and tackling Stefan in a passionate embrace too. Unfortunately, I realized too late what I'd done. When I stepped back, Stefan stood gaping at me, his eyes wide. Behind me I felt rather than saw Damon's approach. Without waiting for their reactions, I fled, pushing and shoving my way through the throng of students and parents celebrating their victory. Ducking behind the bleachers, I held my breath and watched as both brothers raced into view and headed towards the lockers.
Alone, I leaned against the stands and stared up at the darkening sky but I couldn't explain or understand my actions. Stefan and Damon were my best friends. How could I have done something so stupid? Although none of us ever said anything, I assumed they were straight. Me, on the other hand, I've known that I was gay since I turned fourteen.
When the coast was clear, I trudged over to the parking lot and caught the bus to the batching cages across town. Arriving, I grabbed a helmet and took my position, waiting for the first ball to be launched, swinging my bat, and then hitting the ball with a loud crack of wood and sending it flying towards outfield. After almost an hour, I wiped away the sweat dripping from my forehead, exhausted from my workout but still unsettled by my feelings. With no choice, I went home.
Damon and Stefan were waiting.
By the time I caught sight of them, they stood and cornered me. We had a long talk afterwards and it came out that while they weren't gay, they had noticed me. Shortly after that the three of us formed a relationship and while it was somewhat difficult adjusting to the change from best friends to boyfriends, the three of us managed. No one at school criticized us and though there were haters, no one dared bothered us. The one time someone did news of how the poor fool ended up in the hospital with a broken arm and multiple cuts and bruises on his face traveled fast. Although the faculty tried, none of them could pin the blame on either Salvatore brother; since then no student wanted to risk their wrath again.
Apparently whatever Stefan and Damon once felt for me is no longer there. At first I believed it was because they needed some time alone, when neither of them mentioned my eighteenth birthday yesterday, I'd had enough. So I packed my belongings and left a note, saying, I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. Please don't look for me. Originally I was just going to leave, but I couldn't, not without saying good-bye to Elena; she'd always been there for me and she deserved an explanation.
"I really only came over to say good-bye," I say, my voice shattering the silence between us.
"Good-bye?" She sits upright with wide eyes. "What?"
"If they're happier together without me then…"
"Jeremy Logan Gilbert, don't say another word or I'll slap your face!" I stare at her; in all the years we've known each other she's never yelled at me. Sure, we had our spats, but nothing compared to the anger I see blazing in her eyes. "How can you even think that? I've seen Stefan and Damon with you, heard what they say about you—they're crazy for you!"
I shake my head again and continue towards the door. "They were, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Good-bye, Elena."
"Jere…Jere, wait!" Leaping to her feet, she scurries after me and seizes my shoulder. I swallow hard; why can't she just let me go? "At least talk to them."
Like that would help. "There's nothing left to say." My voice drops to a whisper as I shrug her hand off, walking down the remaining stairs, opening the door, and hurrying towards my car.
"Jere, please don't go."
Again, she clutches my arm, her face stained with tears. Touching her cheek, I lean down and press our forehead together. This hurts too much, but if I don't break away now I never will. Determined, I cross the remaining distance and climb into my car, pulling away from the curb and driving towards the freeway. About halfway down the block, I glance over at my review mirror and watch Elena's figure shrinking in the distance. Gripping the wheel, my knuckles pure white, I bite my lip as sharp stabs of pain tear into my already bleeding heart.
Stefan and Damon don't love me.
They never did.
So, why should I stay in a relationship where I'm not wanted or loved?
Feeling my pocket vibrating, I slow to a stop at a traffic signal before reaching down and retrieving my cell. A watery and distorted version of Damon's grinning face flashes across my screen. For a moment I'm tempted to answer. The light turns green and I silence my phone, pressing my foot on the accelerator and driving across the intersection. I don't want to hear anymore of his lies. Seconds later my cell beeps as numerous text messages clog up my inbox. My chest tightens. Quickly, I roll down my window and toss my cell phone away. It shatters and broken shards litter the ground.
As I merge onto the highway, I realize I'm not sure of my destination, but maybe it's better that way; less chance of either Damon or Stefan tracking me down. Closing my eyes, I find myself singing the familiar words I've sung multiple times while alone in my room.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that boy:
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that boy
Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Blithe smiles, lithe limbs
He who's winsome, he wins him
Brown hair with a gentle curl
That's the boy he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that boy:
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a boy I know
He loves him so
I'm not that boy
Author's Note: So I thought I'd tackle another threesome and see how well this one is received. I've noticed there are a few other stories with this pairing, it made me curious. Please R&R and let me know what you think. This story has been prewritten and will only be five chapters long though.