A bit of humorous fluff about everybody's favorite convict.
SIRIUS BLACK CLEARED OF FALSE CHARGES
New evidence has come to light regarding the man formerly believed to be the murderer of Lily and James Potter. Sources within the Ministry have told the Prophet that Sirius Black was framed for the murders, and spent twelve years in Azkaban prison on a wrongful charge.
"I knew it from the start, really," a woman's smooth voice said over Harry's shoulder. He whipped his head around, startled by the interruption. He brows creased in confusion. "Sirius," she clarified, pointing to the article. "He was far too loyal to that Potter boy to ever betray him."
"You knew him?" Harry asked, curious. He didn't often meet people who knew his godfather.
The woman laughed. "Oh, I knew him, alright. Only for a few weeks, though. Bloody brilliant man. Knew how to use his wand, that one," she said with a saucy wink. Harry paled.
"I-I see," he mumbled, the blood returning to his face as he looked back down at his paper. The woman didn't leave, though.
"Pretty good with the spells, too. Especially the one that did that tickling thing. None of the other guys knew that one, I have a feeling he invented it. Actually, Remus probably invented that one. Sirius was clever, but not that clever."
"O-ohkay," Harry said, sinking his head a little lower into his paper.
"I did miss Sirius. It took a while to find someone else as relaxing in bed," she continued, oblivious. Harry figured it would be rude to stick his fingers in his ears, but the paper wasn't quite cutting it.
"Uhm, ma'am," he began quietly.
"I eventually did. It's a shame that Azkaban didn't allow conjugal visits. I could have cheered-"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I have to get going," Harry said abruptly, standing up. The woman was startled out of her reverie.
"May I have that?" she asked, pointing to the paper, where a young, handsome picture of Sirius smiled up from the page, waving from his perch atop a broom on the Hogwarts Quiddich pitch. Harry shoved the paper into her hands, dropped a sickle on the table for his meal, and nearly ran from the cafe to vanish into Diagon Alley.
"Oh, Sirius," the woman sighed, gazing at the image. Outside, Harry went to find Ron, hoping to erase the woman's memory from his mind. He didn't need to know everything about his godfather.