A/N: Okay people~! This is my first Death Note story, my friend helped me write it. This was a great idea that I've been wanting to write for a while so I hope it's good! It's extremely OOC, but that's only because L doesn't have any sugar until the end of the story. L gets diabetes, and is not allowed to eat sugar. I had fun writing it, so have fun reading it~!
Enjoy~ on, and I don't own Death Note, or the characters. Please, read and review. Constructive criticism is asked for!~3 Every review I get I will give a slice of cake to L!
"Hey Ryuuzaki. So, I picked up the prescription you ordered and the doctor called..." Light glanced up worriedly at his friend, hoping he wouldn't take the news too hard.
The famous detective looked up from the strawberry shortcake he was eating and nodded, "So what did he want?"
Light shuffled his feet nervously, "Hah... well... he said that you are... diabetic..."
There was a loud clattering noise as L's fork hit the ground, his eyes wide with disbelief, "Isn't that the... horrible demon curse that causes people to not eat sugar without dying...?" Light nodded, still terrified at L's reaction that was to come, "...You know, this increases my suspicions of you being Kira by 90 percent... because only Kira would tell such a sick joke..."
"I...it isn't a joke, Ryuuzaki... the doctor said no more sugar ever..." Light shuffled his feet and looked at the extremely interesting beetle that was crawling along the floor at headquarters. Everything went silent for a moment, no one even breathed. Some people's hearts may have even stopped. Matsuda himself didn't make a single stupid comment to piss anyone off. It was the longest silence ever, the eye of the storm.
"..." L turned around in his chair, facing the half-devoured strawberry shortcake from earlier, "no sugar... ever again..." there was a sadness in his voice, so much so that even Light felt a little sorry for the poor boy.
Finally, Matsuda opened his mouth, "It's okay though, you can still have sweeteners and fruit... just not processed sugars..." L looked at Matsuda in a way that could have any devil hiding in two seconds flat. Which is exactly what Matsuda did as he took cover behind the couch.
L covered his eyes with his bangs, standing up holding the plate of cake. He walked over to the garbage can and tried to throw it in, but his hand wouldn't let go. "Here", he said and thrust the plate into Light's hands quickly walking away, "I think I'll go to bed now..." he walked up the stairs dejectedly, 'What's the point of life without sweets...?' he thought to himself.
"Wow he took that pretty hard, didn't he...?" Misa looked up the stairs, only slightly worried about the sweet-loving boy, a frown on her face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE 1st DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L was obviously depressed, but the bowl of strawberries in his hand seemed to cheer him up slightly. He had a smile on his face, possibly suffering the effects of sugar withdrawl. Suddenly, right before L sat down, there was a crash as a waitress bumps into him, causing him to drop the strawberries. He drops to his knees in an attempt to pick them up, tears welling in his eyes, "Why... WHY DID YOU TAKE AWAY MY HAPPINESSSSSSSSSSSS!" He looked up at her, pouting, with tears glistening in the corners of his eyes.
"I'm sorry! I accidentally murder strawberries sometimes, I can get you some-" to her surprise, he cuts her off.
"THAT'S IT! YOU MUST BE KIRA!" He lunges at her feet, "Arrest her!"
"What did I do? I'll get you some more... and who are you to accuse me of being such a terrible murderer?" she looks down at him, trying to shake him off of her legs without making too much more of a scene.
"Umm... Ryuuzaki...? Maybe we should go now... she's not Kira, I promise you..." Light says calmly, trying to help L relax. L looks over at him with bloodshot eyes.
"How do YOU know that... unless YOU are Kira!" he jumps at Light, successfully creating a giant mess of food on the restaurant's table. The waitress uses this opportunity to run off, terrified.
"Now, Ryuuzaki, let's not go around accusing people of being serial killers..." Matsuda laughs nervously, then backs up as L crawls towards him.
"Only Kira would say that..." he glares at Matsuda with all the anger in his soul.
Misa sweatdrops, "Okay... I think it's time to go now..." she grabs L by the ear, and drags the twitching boy out of the restaurant. Light and Matsuda follow, quite far behind the two.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE 2nd DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All eyes were on the black haired boy spinning in circles on the office giggling. Other than the occasional "Wheeeeee!" and "The way you are standing means you are Kira" exclamations coming from the best detective in the world, everything was silent.
"May I speak to Matsuda and Misa outside for a second?" Light spoke up.
L stopped spinning and looked over at Light, "Am I... not invited...?" L frowned, eyes tearing up, "B...but we're friends! This means you're Kira!" he crossed his arms, pouting like a child throwing a temper tantrum.
"It's about... uh... something you already know! Keep on spinning, we'll be right back!" Light, Matsuda, and Misa dashed out the doors before L could protest. L pondered for a second, then, smiling, he returned to spinning.
"Wheeeeeeeeeee~! This is so fun~!" L spun the chair fast enough that he flew out of it, hitting the ground with a loud thunk.
"...Sugar", Light said beyond the door, and suddenly L was there. He peeked through the crack in the door and smiled from ear to ear, eyes wide.
"Sooooo... I get sugar again~? YAY!" L grinned wider.
"I never said that, you would die if you had sugar... sorry Ryuuzaki", Light said not even bothering to be kind to the broken soul.
L's eyes widened in sadness, and he pouted before turning away and saying, "...You're Kira for sure, you black-hearted demon..."
When the three of them walked back in, L was collapsed on the floor twitching like a dead bug, "sugar... sugar... neeeeeeed... sugar..." They all looked at each other, concerned for the welfare of the young boy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE 3rd DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Here, drink this", Misa handed L a glass of water with artificial strawberry flavored sweetener. L looked straight ahead, past her, barely registering this, "Drink it! It'll help you feel better!" L looked at her, then the glass, then her again. He grabbed it from her hand, taking a sip before throwing the glass at her.
"THIS TASTES LIKE KIRA! QUIT POISONING ME WITH THIS FILTH!" L glared at her, crossing his arms and sitting in a normal position, for once in his life.
"How do you know... never mind, um here I made some eggs for you as well!" Misa hands L a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast. A typical breakfast for anyone who doesn't eat sugar for every meal.
L picked up the plate, and sniffed the eggs. He glared at her, "This isn't sugar..." He picked up an egg and threw it at her, "I DEMAND SHORTCAKE!"
"Oh, I'LL give you a shortcake all right..." Misa goes to the fridge and pulls out a piece of strawberry shortcake and a fork. L's eyes never leave her, his mouth starts watering and his eyes sparkle with excitement. She sits down across from him, and she takes a huge bite out to the cake.
"HOW DARE YOU!" L's eyes start watering, "Pleeeeeaaaaaaseeeee Misa-Misa! I want cake! I NEED it!" L pouts, looking up at her with puppy eyes, "I won't tell anybody... even just... just a crumb, just a little tiny crumb..." he leans across the table.
"Nope, sorry~!" Misa smirks evilly, taunting L with another bite of cake and then places it in her mouth. Looking into his eyes, however, makes her feel guilt, worse than ever before. She sighs, "okay then..."
"Yay!" L leans forward expectantly, but collapses onto her side of the table as she stands up and throws the cake away, "B...but... please Misa! I will die without it!"
"I'm sorry Ryuuzaki, but I just can't give you any cake..." suddenly, a second egg smacks her in the face and she glares at L as the egg plops to the floor.
L pouts, "That's what you deserve..." he then empties the the rest of the contents of the plate onto Misa's face, "You are Kira, this settles it!"
"...I am so making you clean this up..." she walks out of the room, unaware of the detective following her, crawling and begging for cake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~THE 4th DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"..." silence fills the room as everyone stares at the previously dark haired boy standing there with, not dark hair, but instead blonde. None other than Matsuda breaks the silence, "Um... Ryuuzaki... why did you dye your hair...?"
L giggled and spoke in his new valley girl accent, "well, I figured black was gloomy and depressing, also black is sooooooo last year~!" everyone else was silent. "A...Also..." he bursts into tears, "I HATE HAVING YELLOW HAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRR! It looks like... like... like my one true love, CAKE~!"
"Why did you change your hair if you hate it like this?" Light spoke up, the first to recover from the shock.
"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF HATING MY HAIR! I love my hair~! That must mean, that you are like sooooo totally, like, Kira~!" L accused. Again, everyone else was silent.
Matsuda spoke up, "Um... okay then, now Ryuuzaki... let's change your hair back" he takes L by the hand and leads him out.
L pouts, "But... it reminds me of caaaaaaake~!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE 5th DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three people in the room were staring at the sound asleep fourth member. Matsuda reaches over and pokes L, curious at what would happen. L twitched in his sleep, groaning and hiding his arm from Matsuda.
"That might be a bad idea..." Light tried to warn him. Matsuda leaned over and poked L thrice more, and L woke up. A hiss echoes throughout the room, coming from the young detective's mouth. Suddenly, L bursts into tears and scurries away quickly, hiding under the nearest table and falling back asleep.
"...let's leave him alone for a while, okay?" Light looks over at Matsuda.
"..." Matsuda stares in surprise and fear at the black... thing that L has become. His mouth and eyes are wide open.
"Matsuda, you'll catch flies like that~" Misa chimes in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE 6th DAY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today is the 6th day of my horrible punishment. WHAT DID I DO WRONG! It has been 125 hours, 32 minutes, 50 seconds, and 10.264 milliseconds since I have had sugar. This must be a curse from Kira... KIRA MADE ME DIABETIC!
"What are you doing in the closet, Ryuuzaki?" Light dares to disturb my deducing! He must be Kira!
"I'm hiding from you, aka Kira. He gave me diabetes. It's all your fault!" Light rolled his eyes at me. ROLLED HIS EYES! That is a TERRIBLE thing to do, so rude! Only Kira would do that...
"You should come out of that closet now, Ryuuzaki and help us with the case" how dare he! He is accusing me of being gay! That horrible person, now I am 158.9 percent sure he is Kira!
"I'm not gay!" I pout at him, and slam the closet door in his face. He deserved it! He's Kira and Kira doesn't deserve politeness!
"Ryuuzaki, I never said that" Oh, sure you didn't... "get out of there and help us."
"...do you have cake out there...?" I love it when I have brilliant ideas!
"Yes, we do" yes! I finally get some cake! I love cake~! I jump out of the closet and hug Light.
"I knew you loved me~!" Light looks disturbed, "... I don't mean like that... so, WHERE'S MY CAKE~?"
"I never said it was for you, Ryuuzaki" All time stops. No cake for me...? He... lied?
"...You're definitely Kira!" Misa and Matsuda grab my arms and drag me off, kicking, screaming, and twitching, to the main area of the headquarters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THE 7th DAY, APRIL 1st~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The brave trio knocked on the door of the famous detective's hotel room door, "Come in" they heard from inside. They looked at each other nervously before walking into the room. Their eyes went wide as they saw L. He was dressed in a tight leather motorcycle outfit with neon yellow Sketchers on his feet. He was wearing black, loose socks that covered the bottom of his pant legs, "What's up?"
"Umm... Ryuuzaki... are you okay?" Light said, "We just came to... to tell you something.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be fine? I found out that I don't actually need cake to survive, man. Shoes are all I need. Shoes are the hip thing, yo!" L responded in a very un-L way. Everyone looked at him, eyes widened in surprise as their jaws dropped to the floor.
"...w...well, actually that's what we came to talk to you about..." Light gulped nervously, "April fools!"
L looked at Light, "What...? I don't get it..."
"Well... you know that meeting we had?" L nodded, "You aren't... actually... diabetic..."
L froze, "...so... you did this for your own personal enjoyment...?"
Matsuda and Misa pointed at Light, "It was his idea!" And with that, those two ran out the door, leaving Light to suffer the consequences.
L ran to the fridge and pulled out cake after cake and started stuffing his face with it, leaving chunks of it in his hair and on his face. He kicked off his shoes, tore off his socks, and ripped off his shirt. He looked over at Light, "I'm going to get these horrible things off of my feet, change from these tight clothes to something more comfortable, eat more cake, take a shower... then I'll see you at headquarters. Now," L turned to Light after picking up a piece of cake, "get the hell out of here, Kira." he threw the cake at Light as Light ran out the door.
The first thing that Misa, Matsuda, and Light notice when they walk into headquarters is that all the computers have the Kira 'K' on them. They look around, terrified.
"I am Kira" they all hear that and jump, "And I will kill you all if you do not meet my demands."
"W... what do you... want...?" Matsuda spoke up, shaking.
"You all should know that I know everybody's name in this room... even the most famous detective, L."
"What are your demands?" Light said calmly. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew it wasn't the real Kira.
"I want..." he paused, heightening the suspense, "cake." suddenly the monitors all turn off, and L walks up behind them, waving and smiling at them with a microphone in his other hand.
"That wasn't funny Ryuuzaki!" Misa exclaimed, pouting.
L just laughed, "well I think you all deserve much worse than that. Now, where is my cake~?" he smiled as the other three rushed to get him cake.