Hey guys! So I wasn't going to do this one next, but I just read a couple of season three fics and I just am so TICKED at Dean's attitude (Sam doesn't love me, Sam is stronger, it'll be okay, light at the end of the tunnel that's really just hellfire...you know, that kinda thing) that I really wanted Sam to show him a few things. So this is my version of the deal breaking that I really wish had happened in the show. :)
Needless to say, I am a Sam girl, so while this won't be Dean-bashing because I love Dean too and do sorta get his point of view, this will definitely be from Sam's point of view, focusing on his hurt and his pain. At least at first. Eventually Dean will get to have the spotlight. After all, a little bit of Dean guilt and angst completes a story. :)
Sam was beginning to wonder if his brother had some masochistic desire to go to hell.
Why won't you just fight?
The idea of living without his older brother was agonizing, woke him up every night with nightmares.
Please, Dean. Just fight, dang it.
Then of course the next question in his mind was: Why are you making me pay for what's happening?
Dean had been more distant in the last few months than ever before, including the time right after their dad died.
He let Sam stitch himself up, let Sam drive more, had Sam run in for food, had Sam take care of the car, had Sam take the lead on hunts and choose the hunts. The biggest change, however, was emotionally. For someone who hated chick flicks, Dean had a way of initating them when they were needed without ever having tears shed. His big brother ensured his emotional health as well, which was something Sam hadn't known until his brother had taken it away.
Sam assumed it was all from some twisted desire to toughen him up before he left.
Forget that! You're not going anywhere Dean. Not if I have something to say about it.
"Dang it, Sam, I told you to drop it!"
"You're going to hell, Dean, I'm not going to just drop it!"
Dean's face twisted in irriation and fury.
Both had lost track of how many times they had fought about this.
"Sam, I told you that I don't want to fight this and that you shouldn't. I can't get any more clear than that. I am not risking you for this."
"That doesn't mean you have to give up! At the very least you shouldn't try to stop me from finding a way out!"
"No, Sam! I'm not going to risk your life with this!"
"But you're perfectly willing to risk the rest of me. As long as I'm breathing right?" Sam's voice was mocking, trying to keep himself from exploding. He was nearing the end of his patience with Dean.
Dean's face hardened at the tone. "I will stop you if I have to Sam."
One second he was on the other side of the room, the next he was shoving Dean into the wall, pinning him there easily. It was a frightening demonstration of what the last few months of less protection from Dean had done to him. Despite Dean's struggles, he couldn't get lose.
Sam's voice was shaking with rage, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"You listen to me. You are not going to do this to me."
Utter agony was clear in his eyes, coupled with total fury.
"I never had mom. I lost Jess. I lost Madison. I lost dad. I am not...not losing you too. I refuse to be the last Winchester standing. You hear me, Dean? I refuse to be the last."
Sam finally released him with a shove, striding towards the door, ferocious vehemence in his every step. He grabbed his jacket and stormed out, knocking over a chair and kicking the table roughly as he left.
His older brother stood in silence, bowing his head with a sigh.
Sam had never felt such a strong combination of fury and terror before.
He strode down the sidewalk, purposeless except for a desire to get away from the brother he was trying to save.
His phone rang.
The second he saw the ID, he flipped it open, forcing his voice to be calm and cool, despite the sudden pounding of his heart.
"I have the information you wanted, Mr. Winchester. She lives in the area."
Sam quickly pulled out a pen and small notepad that he had taken to keeping on his person (for cases just like this) and jotted down the address.
"She's expecting me?"
The dealer sounded offended. "Of course."
"Alright. I'm headed there now. Your money's on its way."
Sam hung up.
"So. Essentially, your brother made a deal to bring you back to life and you don't like the terms. You want to get him out of it." The witch gazed at him impassively.
Sam nodded. "Yes."
"And you're willing to do anything."
The witch regarded him a moment, then nodded.
"Yes, I have a way. And I will do it for you. However, I will need a little favor in return."
"Whatever you want." Sam swallowed back his own fear.
I can't live without Dean. I'm sorry, big brother, but you're not the only one who needs his family. I may have left, but...well, I grew up and I learned a lot...the hard way. I needed normal. Never meant I didn't need you.
I won't let you die for me.
I can't be alone.
"You should be aware, Samuel, that my method is not pretty. You won't like it. Neither will your brother."
Oh, no sunshine and daisies? I'm shocked. Right.
"He doesn't have to know. He made this deal, he can live with the consequences."
Cold as it sounded, Sam could hold a grudge with the best of them and he wasn't quite ready to forgive his brother yet. It would come with time. If he had it.
"As you wish."