Theme 48: Trouser Snake

Pairings: Lightning Farron/Squall Leonhart, implied Tifa Lockhart/Squall Leonhart

It was not long after the embers had cooled when sunlight slipped past the tall trees of Golmore Jungle to prod at the sleeping campers.

Squall was the first to wake up, as usual. His eyes opened abruptly, eyes of steel sweeping past his vicinity before drowsiness slowly crept back into them. When his attention settled upon the remains of the campfire and, more importantly, the pieces of wood that had not fully burnt yet, Squall wordlessly shot at it a fire spell and was satisfied when some more warmth returned to his and Lightning's campsite.

"Thanks." Lightning said groggily from behind him, and Squall felt his girlfriend shuffle closer to mold herself completely against his back. An arm snaked around his side, slithering beneath his white shirt to settle just above his stomach before, with a firm tug, it drew him closer; the soldier was clearly trying to absorb more of his warmth, and Squall did not mind.

Golmore was a bit colder than expected in the morning, and this skin-to-skin contact-thing worked both ways. It did not help that the two decided to rough it—for old time's sake.

Indeed, Squall and Lightning had chosen not to bring any camping gear. They were not in this side of the world for a picnic. Squall had chosen to travel to the hidden village of Eruyt to study the Vierra's culture and learn more about the more mystical side of Ivalice.

Lightning, of course, had chosen to tag-along, for a multitude of reasons both she would and would never admit. Among those filed under the latter was Vaan's distasteful teasing getting to her regarding the demographics of Eruyt.

Scantily. Clad. Bunny Girls.

It had not been long since that fateful snowy night, and though Lightning and Squall had explored nearly every inch of each other, Lightning still wanted to make sure. Especially after the most recent trial in her sex life…

This trip was also a welcomed break from the boring monotony of what would eventually be the proud nation of Academia—when everything else was finished, of course. Lightning fully intended to make the most of her leave.

There was no telling when Squall would next take to the battlefield.

Lightning shifted again, banishing away such overprotective thoughts.

There was a time and place for needless worrying, and nowespecially now—was not it.

Her hand dipped.

"…Lightning?" Squall slowly asked. It was clear from his tone that he had been trying to get more shut-eye.

What a fool. As if she'd let him.

"Shh." She whispered, arching her body upwards so she could rest her chin on his shoulder. Incidentally, Lightning's breasts pressed even more against his broad back.

Lightning felt his temperature rise.

"Just enjoy it, schoolboy." There was none of her usual command nor demand when she spoke. There was only a careless whimsy; clearly, Lightning woke up in the right side of the jungle that morning.

With the tone Lightning spoke, she may as well have been asking about the weather.

Squall was relaxed, though he did shiver when Lightning's dexterous digits brought down his zipper and enveloped his wood.

He tensed up—even if a part of him was thrilled at the surrealism of this situation. Doing this outdoors? It was as if they were exhibitionists, and a pleasurable tingle ran up Squall's spine in time with Lightning's rhythmic strokes.

Maybe it was the peculiarity his situation breeding paranoia, but Squall felt eyes on him and his redden wood. There were stories that Golmore was alive, and that she was ever-watching all those that entered her.

An idle thought came to Squall as he fully relaxed into Lightning's caresses; was the jungle watching them?

The leaves seemed to cheer with the passing breeze, but Squall found his full attention directed at Lightning and her skillful hand.

It was testament to how many times they had been with each other that Squall just laid there as Lightning lazily stoked his flames.

The pace she set was not too fast and it was not at all rough. Lightning seemed to just be content with feeling his erected flesh in her hand. She was not trying to get anything out of him.

The thought was peculiar, indeed.

"Not that I… mind." Squall was forced to pause when a particularly light but chilly breeze breathed against his slowly burning flesh, imparting in him a pleasurable shiver. Still, Squall's voice remained calm and almost disinterested; normal and unperturbed. "But… what's this about?"

"I heard that guys like it when their girlfriends do this first thing in the morning." Lightning explained, her hand still casually stroking.

At least, that was what Tifa said when the Zangan practitioner had one too many mugs in her system after another girl's night out.

"What's got you so interested?" Squall glanced at her with suspicious eyes.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Lightning squeezed.

"…Keep going." Squall grunted. A relieved breath escaped him when his girlfriend resumed her earlier five-knuckled massage. "You know, I heard differently."

Lightning paused again, and Squall could see her hesitancy fleetingly flash in her eyes before she resumed. "I did, too."

"And…?" Squall pressed, mentally counting down from three and inwardly smirked when Lightning scowled just in time.

"And like I said before: I'll think about it."

It was not an act that Lightning was willing to take part in.

Once upon a tryst, Squall had tried to shove his length down her mouth in the heat of the moment, and Lightning adamantly clenched her mouth shut. The very thought of licking that beast was repulsive! So what if she frequently had Squall eat out her pink carpet? She was not obligated to go down on him in return.

Was it not enough for him to use the other parts of her body? What if she choked? She really, really did not want to be in such a vulnerable position!

It was just unnerving.

Yet, despite all her inner whining, an insidious thought had planted its seed that same night.

It might be fun.

Just like that, Lightning sought out her most approachable support… Tifa Lockhart.

What transpired was a conversation that was too embarrassing for Lightning to recall interspaced with powerful booze and reddening innuendos, but Lightning did learn that, while she was not obligated, she was also missing out on an intimacy of a whole new level.

Lightning was not quite sure she liked that thought.

One thing was for sure. Tifa hadn't done it with Squall, so Lightning resolved to be his first.

The topic never did return to her and Squall—their creative minds had busied them a lot—so Lightning had a lot of time to ponder.

Until now.

Squall's eyes bore into Lightning's resolute own.

Lightning was certain Squall would not press the issue. He just was not the type. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry…

Squall was acutely reminded of his searing loins when Lightning resumed her long and firm stroking.

His rod was incredibly hot to touch, Lightning realized, and she absently wondered how much hotter she could make it before would Squall inevitably coat her hand.

It seemed the answer was much hotter, because when Squall spoke, there was none of that passionate urgency that usually accompanied his bursts.

"…Fine." Squall relented, his mind mostly on their conversation rather than their exchange.

What could he do? Squall was still uncertain just how far he could push Lightning before she pushed back—and his girlfriend pushing back was not necessarily a good thing. It was better to let Lightning travel at her own pace with minimal prodding from him.

She was just that type of woman.

A smirk plastered itself on Lightning's lips; her and Squall really were resonant, and this was further proof of it.

"Just relax. We can take our time."

Maybe she'd reward Squall when their task was complete.

Until then, Lightning would just have to make sure that she would be Squall's first. Not that she was in any way worried.

Squall was a very committed boyfriend.

There was no way that someone else would get first taste of his meaty flesh.

Lightning would quickly rue such thoughts for tempting fate.

After all, unbeknownst to the two warriors, something had been watching them and, distracted as they were with each other, they never sensed it approach until it was too late.


"Mother of Hyne!" Squall cursed as he shot up to stand.

"What the hell?" Lightning yelped in surprise as she was shoved to the side by her boyfriend's sudden movement.

It was only then when Lightning caught the dark beast dangling from Squall's loin.

She stared.

"Gods fucking damnit!" Squall cursed as he tried to pry off the snake from completely taking away his manly length. When he realized that he was the only one moving, Squall quickly barked a demand at his companion, "Lightning, quit gawking and help me!"

"A midgardsormr." Lightning detachedly identified the intruder. "A hatchling midgardsormr."

Somehow, Squall managed to attract the baby serpent—a very rare and elusive inhabitant of Golmore Jungle.

"Fuck this hurts! Lightning, c'mon!"

Maybe it was attracted to the heat of their campfire? It was a coldblooded reptile, after all. Hell, with how hot Squall's meat had become, maybe—


Lightning's dazed eyes suddenly focused and narrowed when the thought repeated itself.

Squall's meat!

That thieving snake had engulfed her boyfriend's meat!

"You are so fucking dead!" Lightning growled, lowly and dangerously.

The cold fury in Lightning's tone was enough to make Squall momentarily forget the snake in his pants. Squall's finely honed danger sense picked up an even more sinister threat, and Squall panicked when both of Lightning's fists choked the reptile.

"Actually Light, I think I can handle-"


"Hssssssss!" Both Squall and the foolish serpent hissed when tendrils of electricity erupted from Lightning's hand, sending jolts of pain through both their systems.

Lightning's fury was super effective, it seemed, as the baby snake instantly unlatched itself from the warm thing and growled its lament into their deaf ears.

Unfortunately for the snake, Lightning was not finished with it.

"This is for stealing from me!"

Squall inwardly cringed when Lightning actually tore the little thing in half before uncaringly tossing it into the fire. Seemingly for good measure, Lightning reignited their campfire with a fira.

A/N: Fun fact—the FFXII beastiary lists Midgardsormr as being weak to lightning.

An even funner fact? I've got a more complete version of this in my AO3 page for those 18 and older. The link is in my profile. Just saying~ :D

Anyways, I'm tired. The second month of the first year of my graduate school life is over, and already I feel like I've been here for four years- which sucks, since I've still got five years to go before actually finishing _

I feel like I didn't really understand what I signed up for, but whatever; bring it, world!