To Clean a Tower
Summary: "We're cleaning the Tower today." In the resulting silence, one could have heard a cricket chirp. The Titans can face any monster or villain or monstrous villain, but can the five superheroes defeat a far greater enemy—the mess that is their Tower?
A/N: A new fandom, a new fanfiction—at least the summer gives me a lot of time to write. This may not be the most original idea, but hopefully it will meet your standards. Enjoy~
Disclaimer: I do not own. I don't think I'd want to, either. It seems like a lot of hard work, managing everything…
"We're cleaning the Tower today," Robin firmly announced, standing in the doorway of the common room. The early light from the large glass window cast a glow around him, as if he was positioned in a spotlight. It seemed fitting, considering his statement.
Beast Boy and Cyborg dropped their Gamestation controllers audibly, turning around slowly in unison to face their masked leader. The open-mouthed Titans paid no attention to the screen of the large TV, where the zombies gleefully pounced on their unmoving characters, reducing them to strewn-about pieces in mere moments. The words YOU'RE DEAD flashed brightly across the screen, but both the players' attentions had been attracted elsewhere.
Starfire curiously poked her head out of the kitchen to glance at the two boys and then Robin. Her hands were covered with an unidentified purple-and-yellow substance that slowly dripped onto the kitchen floor, creating a small puddle, as the alien princess calmly regarded the scene.
Even Raven, sitting on the couch and half-hidden behind a huge dark tome, briefly looked up.
Faced with five pairs of startled eyes—four, actually, plus the mildly intrigued eyes of Raven—the Boy Wonder coughed slightly, and then repeated his words. "We're cleaning the Tower today." Then he strode over to the couch and grabbed a handful of chips that the two other boys had left perching precariously on the couch. Starfire quickly joined the others, wiping the slimy material off her hands with a towel. The cloth jerked abruptly in her hands, but she didn't notice.
Still faced with silence, Robin began to feel uncomfortable. He decided to repeat his message once again. "We're cleaning the—"
Beast Boy quickly interrupted. "Dude, we heard you the first time. What do you mean, we're cleaning? This place is totally clean!" He waved his arms around for emphasis. "There's not one speck of dust in the entire tower."
"Have you seen your room?" Raven deadpanned.
"Heh, heh," he nervously chuckled, hiding behind a bright smile. "Except for that. But, seriously, Robin, why would you want to clean the Tower?"
In answer, the masked leader lightly swept by a dark corner of the room and threw something at Beast Boy.
He quickly jumped away. "A cobweb! And—" he peered closer at the gunk, eyes wide "—some gum, a hairball, a spider, and—a dead battery? Gross—but nothing I can't handle."
Robin dusted off his hands and vaulted back onto the couch and took another handful of chips with the hand that hadn't handled the hairball. "That's why," he answered to the question after he had swallowed, "and even if you can 'handle' that junk, I can't."
Beast Boy still wasn't defeated. "But why today? I was busy beating Cy and setting a new, unbeatable high score! I was killing all the monsters and he just hid behind me the entire time—"
"You were totally losing!" Cyborg shot at him, whipping around to face the shorter green boy. "I was way ahead! And, just for the record, I defeated twice as many zombies!"
"No, you didn't! Couldn't you see my score going up while yours went down? It plummeted like a—like—" He tried to think of an appropriate simile.
"Like a feather?" Raven offered. She put her book down, leaned against the back of the couch, and crossed her arms. As an afterthought, she used her powers to turn off the Gamestation, which had still been displaying YOU'RE DEAD.
He snapped his fingers. "Yeah! Like a feather—no, wait—feathers aren't fast enough," he said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. He didn't seem to notice that Raven had been talking sarcastically. "It plummeted like—an arrow, that's what I was looking for!"
"It did not go down!" The couch shook uncomfortably.
"Yes, it did!"
"Friends, please," Starfire interjected, "can we not cease the arguing and listen to Robin's plan of cleaning?"
Beast Boy and Cyborg continued without missing a beat, now pointing fingers at each other.
"Yes, it did! I saw!"
"No, it didn't! You were going for the all-time lowest score!"
"Me? You were—" A glowing black strand of energy quickly cut off his words. Beast Boy flailed around, pointing desperately at his gag and Raven.
"Ha," laughed Cyborg. "Served the green bean right." A second later, he was also flailing around and trying to escape from the black energy.
Calmly, she turned to Robin. "You were saying something about cleaning?"
He cleared his throat loudly. "Yes. First, though, could you release Beast Boy and Cy?" The two were still trying to argue. "We sort of need them."
Effortlessly, the bands of dark energy dissipated, and as the two Titans gulped air desperately, she hissed, "Don't continue your meaningless tirades, for all of our sakes." Her hand twitched towards her temple.
"What are tirades?" Beast Boy whispered to Cyborg.
"She means," Robin said almost tiredly before the half-robot could open his mouth, "be quiet."
The common room was—mostly—silent once more.
"As I was saying," Robin declared, "we're cleaning the Tower—"
"You've said that four times already!" Beast Boy cried. "Get to the point!"
The Boy Wonder glared at him. "We're all cleaning, and we'll start with our rooms first. Then we'll do the common room and the kitchen, and then the other often-used rooms, and then the lesser-used rooms, and then the rarely-used rooms, and then the never-used rooms, and then—"
"Wait," Beast Boy said slowly, "you mean we're actually cleaning the entire Tower? Like, the whole huge thing?"
Robin sighed. "Yes." He thought it'd been obvious. What else could "We're cleaning the tower today" mean?
"But that'll take forever! That'll take years and years and years and—" Beast Boy bounced up and down. The bowl of chips wobbled with each bounce and almost tipped over.
"If you work productively and efficiently and don't waste time—" the leader meaningfully glared at certain members of the team "—we'll finish in a couple days, at most."
"Why us, though?" Beast Boy whined. "Why don't you invite all Titans?" A thought bubble rose from his mind. In one corner, Aqualad was on his hands and knees, scrubbing the floor of the kitchen with a sponge. In another, Kid Flash was venturing into a dark closet, and then screaming in surprise as something dark and unidentifiable leaped out and grabbed him. As the thought bubble popped, the green Titan chuckled to himself.
Robin crossed his arms, looking pointedly at him. "Why should we?"
"Because BB here wants to get off work," Cyborg supplied with a grin. He patted his shorter friend condescendingly.
"No," the changeling defended himself. "They've used the Tower, too."
"We live in it," Raven reminded him. While Robin and Beast Boy had been arguing, she had picked up her book again and continued to read.
"But—" Beast Boy whined.
Silent, the others had almost forgotten Starfire was still there at the couch. Now, she spoke up. "Robin, when will we begin the cleaning of the Tower?"
He looked at the alien princess, almost confused. "I said 'today', didn't I?"
"Oh, yes, Robin," she corrected, "but I meant, will we be doing the cleaning before or after the midday meal? I have prepared a delicious Tameranean delicacy with Larfjak and homemade mustard-Gorka-berry-juice sauce for lunch. Perhaps we can eat first, and then commence with the cleaning?"
There was another silence. Paling, Robin choked out, "It's great that you made the dish for us, Starfire." Beast Boy's eyes visibly widened, but the leader of the Titans hadn't finished yet. "But since breakfast wasn't long ago, maybe we could have your dish for dinner and clean first? That way we'll get more done and finish sooner."
"That is a wonderful idea, Robin!" Starfire chirped cheerily. "I look forward to the consumption of my meal in the evening."
A muffled gagging sound could be heard from somewhere in the room, although no one was sure who it came from. Robin briefly wondered if he had said the wrong words, but quickly dismissed the thought.
Taking charge once more, Robin stood up. "For the next four hours, we'll all be cleaning our rooms. Some may need more time than others—" Beast Boy glared at him sullenly "—but I'm sure we'll all be able to finish in this time. After lunch, I'll assign your next duties."
"What about training?" Beast Boy asked warily. Surely Robin would not ask them to train and clean at the same time.
The Boy Wonder only grinned slightly. "For some of us, Beast Boy, cleaning takes the same amount of energy as training." With a smirk, Robin vaulted over the couch and trotted off for the doors. "I'll go get the supplies, and we'll start cleaning!"
Raven turned another page in her novel. "Oh, the joy," she deadpanned.
Hopefully, for a first attempt, it wasn't too bad. Tell me if it was, and I'll try to improve.
Thanks for reading this chapter.