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Thanks to my lovely sis TwiDi for cleaning up my mess :0)
Here is the outtake that I donated to the Fandom for Friends compilation a few months ago. I hope I'm not posting this to soon.
You know that moment that fucking moment you just know that no one else is ever going to do it for you like that one fucking person laying in your bed curled up so fucking cute making these little puffing breathing noises that on any one else would be annoying as fuck, but on her they are the cutest damned thing ever? I had that moment yesterday and that is what has led me into this damned predicament of picking out a ring. This fucker behind the counter is doing his best not to laugh at me, but I can tell my indecision and general sense of uncomfortableness is giving him a good inner chuckle. If I was only back in Seattle, or hell even Forks for this with one of my usual jewelry guys, or Dad giving me advice, instead of I have a 6'5 drag queen who keeps ohhing over anything that sparkles, and that is a fucking lot in a jewelry store and my brother Emmett the 6'5 bull in a China shop who is way to in touch with his inner 5 year old.
"This one dude!" Em points at a ring in big circle with a pink tint to it. It just wasn't my girl.
"No, not that one." I tell him, then look for my other helper who is busy trying on bracelets in his own fucking world. Or should I say hers since he's in his Jatina garb today?
"Gentlemen, and umm lady," the shop keeper who can't be any younger than 55 gives a timid smile to Jake who beams at being called a lady, "perhaps I can be of help?"
"He's trying to find an engagement ring for my bestie, and it's not going to well." Jake says from his spot now beside the dangling earrings. I'm surprised he can get a word past the saliva in his mouth as he drools over the diamonds.
"I see, and is there anything specific you are looking for?"
"If I knew I'd have it picked out by now." Feeling bad for getting grumpy with the guy I add, "Something special, but simple. She doesn't like over the top, but she deserves more than just a cookie cutter ring."
"Ok and what is the young lady like?" He looks at Jake like maybe my future wife might have a secret package in her pants along with her "bestie".
"She's short, funny and makes kick ass cookies." My older brother ladies and gentlemen, his little adoptive brother/mini-bro in law couldn't have said it better, no wait he could have.
"She is short and funny, and no one has ever complained about her cookies." I say to appease the giant goof ball. "She's also loyal as fuck, sweet, loving, smart as a whip. She has a kick ass body, and is flexiable as hell." Oh shit that is one of those things I should have kept to my fucking self. "She's a teacher, and loves kids. She's awesome with my daughter and her kid brother. Fuck she completes me." And there I go acting all Jerry Maguire, damn Jasper for making me watch that shit with him. Though his crying at the sappy parts made it worth watching.
"So something that will match her inner and outer beauty, without trying to draw away or outshine it?" My new best friend jewelry man says.
"Exactly!" I may have shouted because the little guy jumped back a bit.
"Give me just a minute I think I know what you might want." He step into the door marked "Employees Only" and the three of us wait. Well I wait and they keep checking out the jewels. I swear I should have just brought Seth or my Dad, they are far less likely to be hypnotized by sparkly things.
"Hey you think Rose would like this?" Em ask pointing towards an R pendent in gold with a small diamond in the top hole of the R.
"Pretty." Jake claps, nodding. "You should get it for her, and give it to her as a just because I love you gift. I know when my man does that for me he gets some good loving that night."
"She'll like it." I tell him, trying not to picture Jake and Paul having their good loving. The door the jewelry guy went out off is opening and I'm relieved to see his ass coming back out. He has a black case in his hands that he sets on the counter and opens that has at least twenty rings in them.
"These rings are vintage, meaning while they are older they aren't yet antique. So while they are beautiful they are slow sellers, to many either want antique or brand new." He sweeps his hand over the rings like a magician doing a tada with a trick. I follow his hand taking in the vintage rings.
One looks a lot like my Mom's own engagement ring, that I've seen Bella admire more than once. There beside it was a beautiful, yet odd ring. It was a diamond, with small emeralds on the side, but the way that the emeralds were located they made the diamonds seem to have a light green tint to them. It was like a green lite lighting up the diamonds. It was Bella who fucking lit up my life, oh shit now I'm quoting those face lift commercials they show late at night and during Days of Our lives. Don't judge I live with an assload of women who watch those damn soaps, and they are fucking addictive.
"That one." I point it out.
"Sir would you like to look at the price first?" He looks a little nervous taking in my large friends.
"Sure." I say to appease him, knowing that this was for my girl, and no other ring would do.
Looking at the price I barely flinch, $20,000 is way cheaper than the ring I had eyed at Tiffany's that was my fall back ring. You know that just in case I can't fucking find the right one ring. I had him my pretty black credit card and watch his eyes get bigger.
"Ring it up please." I tell him, and I swear I made that little guy's day.
"Hey while you're doing that, add this R necklace thingy to the charge too. Ed I'll give you a check for it later. Rosie has our credit card account on alert for fraud or some identity theft thing and I don't want to spoil the surprise."
"No problem." I look over at Jake and he smiles nodding that this is the right ring. Feeling all generous I tell the jewelry guy to add a J necklace thingy for my tall friend over there. Which makes the guy look at me again with worry in his eye.
"Sir what size do we need to size this ring to for your fiancé?"
"Size 6." Jake tells him. "Her dress size and ring size are actually the same."
"6, like he said." I try to act all fucking cool about it, but now I am really grateful I brought Jake with us, since I had no clue about the ring size thing. I would have said size small.
"Good, good let me just see…"He trails off while looking the ring over. "Size 6 already, looks like this was destined to go home to your lady love." I can't help but smile.
"Hell yea it did." And thank you Em for booming that around the store.
"I'll just need to see your id and get a signature on the receipt."
With a signature, and a glance at my license we are out of there on our way back to the tour bus.
Two hours later Jasper has joined the "how are you going to ask her" debate going on in the middle of the tour bus (sounds much cooler than fucking RV). Paul was being nice and looking out for the girls, or as I call it he was the lucky fucker not having this group giggle, plot and plan in his ear.
"Dude you should do it from the winner's circle in front of the cameras, chicks always seem to dig that on the jumbo tron." Is my brother's brilliant plan.
"Em this is Bella, Bella who tries to hide in family photos, do you really think that is going to work?" Jasper, the slightly more intelligent of my brothers, even if it is only by marriage to my kid sister, states before getting this glazed look in his eyes.
"You should take your shirt off, put on those Stetson chaps you wore for that ad and drive up on your bike and whisk her away." Jake sighs, earning him an eye roll from his husband or whatever he is calling Paul these days. "She loved that poster I had of you in that outfit." And cue my inner fucking blush of being slightly uncomfortable.
"Uh thanks?" Male, female it don't matter when your girl's best friend is telling you they have a poster of you half naked it's not something that makes you comfortable, especially when he/she is fanning themselves and looking at your crotch with a speculative gaze. "I don't think the bike is going to work, Bella calls them the death traps from hell still."
"I've fucking got it!" Jasper jumps up giving a fist pump into the air before looking around at everyone, "Let's go get some poster board and we'll make signs to hang on the bus, when the girls come back Bella will see it and you can step off the bus with a rose, getting down on one knee holding the ring up looking all expectant."
"Great idea Jasper." Jake jumps up and down in his seat clapping.
"It was a great idea…"Emmett leaves off looking at me.
"Yep sure was, back ions ago when he used it to ask Alice to marry him." Em and I get a good laugh at Jasper's deflated expression.
"I know." Paul asks calling our attention to him, without giving up his sentry guard position he starts talking, "Get Seth involved, we all know how much she and the kid are a package deal, by involving him you'll prove that you know that and in the end get her to say yes." And ladies and gentlemen that might not be a full plan but kudos to the first sane thing any of these guys have said yet tonight.
"You are fucking brilliant!" I shout at him, maybe a little too loudly for this confined space.
"Something I've always known and kept to myself, but really what is brilliance if you can't share it now and then?" And with that he goes back to ignoring us. Though I have to say it is the most I've ever heard him fucking say since I met him, always figured Jake/Jatina did enough talking that he forgot how to say more than "Yes dear".
"Ok then." I smile and nod in the way one does to say you my friend are crazy, before looking at Emmett. "I'm going to rescue Seth from Mom and Dad, you brother are a distraction if Bella gets back early. Keep her busy and entertained." He gives a thumbs up before hitting the Krispy Kreme box. With a sigh and a hope to fucking hell that this shit works to myself I go to find my short friend/future bro in law.
Seth was brilliant. No really the kid is a fucking genius. Sadly my other partners in crime or in this case trying to pull of the perfect fucking proposal suck.
The kid had the perfect idea, we baked Bella's favorite chocolate cupcakes in that tiny ass kitchen on the bus. After it was cooked we cut one in half and put the ring in it before icing it with a special B on the top. The plan was to take Bella to the park with Seth and Faith, there Faith and I were going to ask Bella and Seth to join our family forever.
Did I mention my helpers sucked?
Well except Seth.
Emmett helped me to pack the basket with food, while Jasper was helping ice the rest of the cupcakes for the family to enjoy. Of course Emmett can't do anything without food for long.
That's why we are sitting in the ER waiting for the doc to get my girl's engagement ring out of my brother's stomach.
You guessed it fucker at the special cupcake.
Jasper thinking it would be cute put Bs and Es on the top of them. Meaning that we couldn't tell them apart. He's just fucking lucky that Faith or someone else didn't eat that damn cupcake. Emmett's stomach is made of steel so he'll rebound, they might not have.
Of course as we wait Em begins reminding me of the time our dog Grover ate Mom's engagement ring when we were kids. She had taken it off to wash some pots and pans, somehow it got knocked away and the dog had it for lunch. Unfortunately for her she had to wait for the dog to "pass" it before she could get it back. Meaning for a week we had to look at the dog's shit until we finally found the ring.
So by the end of the story I figured out that if Mom's ring could go in dog shit and still mean the same to her, Bella's could spend a little time in Emmett stomach acid and still work for her. Especially if we keep our pact of never letting her know.
After the epic fail of try one, and Seth being out of ideas because as he reminded me he wasn't even 14 yet, I was on my own. I could ask the girls for help, but let's face it, women and engagements start getting gooey, and Bella is smart. She'd pick up on their looks and it could spoil everything.
Try two was a simple one. The family rented out hotel rooms for a night of having our own spaces, and I ordered Bella's favorite breakfast for the morning before we went to bed. See breakfast in bed, followed by the ring, still in the bed hopefully equals a yes and Edward getting a little celebration lovin' win, win.
After getting Mom to watch Faith for the night, and Seth spending the night with Rose and Em everything was going off without a hitch. Breakfast arrived at 8:30 on the dot, Bella did her cute grumble about not wanting to walk up till I took the coffee and ran the cup back and forth under her nose. My girl loves her fucking coffee.
Eating a wonderful tasting meal of pancakes, sausage and fruit cup on the side, I could feel my excitement rising. Bella was making these little noises that let me know she was enjoying her meal, and little Edward was really enjoying those noises. That lovin' was sounding better and better. When she finished and laid back against the pillows looking utterly stuffed I worked up my nerve and reached into the nightstand where I stashed the ring to pull it out.
"Bella baby I fucking love you." She gives me a look and turns white in the face before jumping and rushing to the bathroom. The next noises coming from the room kill little Edward, poor guy just laying flaccid against my leg now. Then if the morning couldn't go further down hill I feel my stomach flip and I reach for the nearby trash can, revisiting my breakfast as well.
The sausage had gone bad and everyone who ate it got sick. The cook got fired, and we had a free hotel stay.
And I still have an engagement ring hidden in my shaving kit, because nothing was going fucking right.
"Cullen you ok?" Bella is looking at me like I have to heads, and catching my reflection in the side of the bike I can about guess why. My scowl is pretty damn fierce.
"All good princess." I assure her.
"Ok, because you are acting like Em when he hasn't eaten in more than three hours." I laugh, because she giggles and you can't help but laugh when she giggles.
"Nah it's the heat, it makes me miss Washington."
"Edward, 92 on the 4th of July in South Carolina isn't that hot." She rolls her eyes and kisses my nose. "I have to go wake Faith up from her nap or she won't sleep tonight." I smile and kiss her back before smacking her ass.
"Get to the child rearing woman." She smacks my shoulder, knowing I'm kidding.
"Caveman." She fake complains.
"My beautiful princess." I can't help it, the smile I get in return makes me wish I had that damn ring with me right now.
As she walks off it hits me a spontaneous moment might just be what I need. Hell spontaneous is Bella and my relationship to a T.
Plan C or 3, whatever the fuck is now in play.
Winging it, it is.
Jasper came in third in his division, I guess worrying about two pink lines on a stick with Alice all night wore his ass out. I came in first, probably only because I was channeling all my frustrations out on the race. I can't help but think I'm getting to fucking old for this. My passion has been drifting more and more towards working behind the scene rather than center stage.
Grabbing my trophy and prize check I head back to the bus to change and get with Bella, Em, Rose, Ali and Jazz. Mom and Dad were watching the kids while we went to watch the fireworks from the waterside bar and restaurant. It was a night out for the grownups for once. And it was also packed in there because like most grownups we were all secretly little kids wanting to watch the kick ass firework show over the water outside the restaurant.
I was still working on plan C, you know the whole spontaneous winging it plan. It wasn't going over well. We danced and before I could say marry me, she had to pee. The Karaoke started and I sang her a sweet love song, and when I walked down to meet her to say be mine forever, she started molesting my mouth with her own not that I complained about that.
Now under the fireworks with the sky lit up, and her face filled with awe and joy the ring is burning a fucking hole in my pocket. I just needed to find the right fucking words before the show was over. How long did these things last any fucking way?
"Will you fucking marry me and put me out of my fucking misery?" I blurt out.
Her head turns to me, her hand goes to her mouth and her eyes get huge. She smacks my arm, hard, and then wraps her arms around my necking pulling me down.
"Yes." She tells me before kissing me hard. "Yes you foul mouthed cave man I will marry you."
"Finally, thank you Jesus!" I say before swooping in for a long kiss filled with all my love.
"Get a room!" Someone yells and I look up to see it is Emmett. He's laughing, but when he sees my face he takes off in a run knowing that I'm about to kick his ass. Boy was about to pay for all the added frustration he has added to the process of getting that damned yes out of my girl.
"Princess, I'll be back, I have to go kill my brother."
"Men." She says as I take off, though I hear her laughing. That laugh almost stops me to go back.
I have to kick Emmett's ass first.
AN2: Reviews are a lovely way of saying that more TTE outtakes are wanted ;0)
And if you are bored I have a new story called Between Then and Now posting.