To anybody waiting for the next installment of Stu and Joan, I'm sad to say that the plot-bunnies fled. Don't worry, I will finish it, just not right away. In the meantime, Kittens will be re-posted under Wardrobe Malfunction. It is busy being beta'd right now, but I hope to post it soon. Anyway, This story came to me after 24 hours without sleep, and watching the previews to next weeks eppie. So, on with the show!


A normal person when asked to describe Joan Campbell would most likely say that she was a pretty, delicate looking woman. With her blond hair, blue eyes, and porcelain skin, she appeared to be the epitome of delicacy. Almost fairy like. That is, until that person actually spoke to her. Then their mind would change pretty quick.


Annie watched open mouthed as Joan effortlessly bullied an upper-management type into submission. The man had come in, threatening Arthur's position as head of Clandestine Services, and Joan had beaten him back with a few soft words and dark looks. All without batting a single perfect curled eyelash. Annie was more than a little jealous. The phrase Iron Hand in a Velvet Glove seemed to sum Joan up perfectly.

After apologizing for threatening the Campbell's, the man hurried from the room. Annie fought the urge to laugh at him. Joan gave her a rare smile and leaned casually up against her desk. "Well, I don't think I have to worry about him, anymore."

"How do you do it?"

Joan gave her a quizzical look. "I'm sorry?"

"How do you face down a person threatening you and your family without even flinching?"

Joan smiled at the young Agent who reminded her so much of herself. "The same way you do. Standing my ground, and never running."

Annie shook her head, light blond strands of hair fanning out around her. "No, its not the same. I rely on my fight-or-flight instinct. You do something totally different."

Joan straightened and sat down on the couch that was pushed in the corner, then motioning for Annie to join her. Annie was more than happy to oblige. The couch had somehow developed its own unspoken rule. When they sat there together, they were no longer Boss and Agent, they were simply Joan and Annie. Two woman who were developing a shaky sort of trust between them.

Joan took Annie's hand in her own. "Did you know, that the male lion never goes hunting. It simply relies on the female to hunt and bring back the food for the entire pride. In someways, the female lion is the fiercest. They know what they want and go get it."

Annie frowned slightly. She was confused as to what this had to do with her boss. "I don't understand."

Joan's smile deepened. "Annie, we are the lionesses. Beautiful, blond, and deadly. You want to be more like me, you need to connect with your inner lioness. Your inner woman."

"So, all I have to do is go out and bring back a dead antelope?"

Joan stood and began to close the blinds in her office. One this was done, she locked the door. Annie immediately regretted her flippant words. What did her boss have planned for her? "What are you doing, Joan?"


"Um, Joan. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this." Annie looked herself over in the mirror that Joan had hanging on the back of her closet door. Annie had been totally unaware of the closet's existence until Joan had opened the door. Then she had proceeded to dress Annie up almost like a Barbie doll. Now she was dressed to the nines. A pale pink button down top, unbuttoned just enough to make sure that every male in the building realized that she had breasts, and a black skirt that was just a little shorter than she felt comfortable with. This was all topped off with her favorite pair of Louboutins. The effect was night and day from the typical Annie.

"Remember when I told you that you looked like a D.C call girl?"

Annie winced at the memory. Her self esteem had taken a fatal hit that day. "Yeah. What about it?"

"It was actually a compliment. You need to learn to rely on your sexuality. You do very well as is, but once you play the sex card, you will go much farther. In everything. Remember, you are woman. You are fierce, beautiful, and intelligent, men instinctively fear you."

She took Annie over to one of the windows and opened the blinds fractionally. Gesturing to everyone below, she said,"Look at all of them. They are our pride, and Arthur is our Alpha male, but we are the ones everyone is afraid of. We don't walk, we prowl. We dint look, we hunt. We are women. We hold the power of life in our hands."

She pulled Annie away from the window. "We run the Agency, not them. We are the ones they turn to in times of need. Do you understand now?"

Annie nodded. She DID understand. "Its all about attitude, isn't it?"

"partially, but it involves much more than that. If you want, I could teach you."

Annie didn't even think about it. She just nodded her consent.

"Good. Now, for your first lesson..."