Rock On the Rocks

I do not own Black Lagoon

Rock was on his thirteenth shot while Revy was on her fifteenth. She just smirked a little and motioned for Bao to bring another round of shots. In moments Revy was on her sixteenth. Rock was falling behind!

"Want to give up princess!" Revy hissed. Rock just grumbled and forced another shot down. With that Rock's vision grew hazy. He was fading Rock was going to pass out. He couldn't, not here, not now. He had to show her the true drinking power of a Japanese business man! Rock clumsily reached for another shot and somehow managed to finish it.

"Just fucking give up, this is sad Rock!" Revy barked after she polished off her seventeenth glass. Rock's glassy eyes just rolled over and he smiled.

"Not until I win." He stated under his breath. Cursing under her breath, Revy grabbed the entire bottle of whisky and rapidly poured herself three more shots. Within moments they were gone, she had forced herself to drink all three

"I'm going to win, jackass." Revy slurred. Rock drank another shot and began rocking in his chair. He was fading even faster into darkness. He began to fall forward and with that there was a thud. Revy had crashed onto the bar table so suddenly it jolted Rock back consciousness.

"See that I won!" Rock proclaimed. Bao just smiled.

"Good for you. Now get Revy out of here before she somehow destroys my bar!" With that, Rock tried escorting Revy out the door but he could barely even walk.

The Next Day

Rock awoke from his alcohol induced coma at one o clock. He didn't open his eyes right away he just wanted to rest. Rolling around in bed, Rock found his pillow and wrapped his arms around it. He pulled it in close and snuggled into the pillow. Somehow, the pillow had got wrapped up in his blanket. Must have kicked around in my sleep a lot. Rock thought to himself as he wrapped his arms tighter around his pillow. That's when he noticed something he shouldn't have. Pillows didn't have a head of hair… or breasts.

Rock's eyes flew open. He was not in his room. There were too many guns and bullet holes. Across from the bed was a pile of underwear… girl's underwear. It started coming back to him. After their drinking spree both came back home. Everyone else was sleeping and Revy was still passed out. Rock took her to her room but after that everything was blank. I must have passed out thinking I was in my bed… oh man I'm so dead! Taking in a long breath Rock began to maneuver around Revy desperately trying not to wake her up. Every move Rock made was something straight out of Mission Impossible but it was all for nothing! Once Rock was free of Revy's vice like grip she turned around and grabbed him. She pulled Rock in close and held onto him tightly. As she slept she buried herself into Rock until he could feel her light breathing on his neck. God, if there is a God… Please, help me. Save me, I'll never drink again if only you get out this without waking the devil cuddling into me! Rock prayed frantically. That was also to no avail. Someone was walking up the stairwell and they were heading towards Revy's room.

"Hey, Revy! Wake up! I can't find Rock anywhere have you seen him?" Dutch's very loud voice boomed. Rock began to break out into a nervous sweat. Thank you God just what I wanted, a witness for my execution.


"Rock is fine Dutch! He said wanted to go pick up something to eat!" Rock called out in the most feminine voice that he could. There was silence.

"Are you alright Two Hands? You sound like hell." Dutch replied.

"Oh just fine, great… just dandy!" Rock called out. Again there was silence.

"Who the hell says just dandy? I'm coming in." Rock gritted his teeth and was about to call out but Revy began to move ever so slightly. A mix of adrenaline and panic surged throughout Rock. There was no way out of this, no way what so ever. The door opened slowly and in a matter of moments Dutch was in the room. Rock had thrown the covers of the blanket up over his head in one final attempt to hide.

"Revy, I need your help with the Lagoon's engines." With that Dutch pulled the sheets away from Rock. If Dutch weren't wearing his signature sunglasses, Rock would have seen his eyes had become like saucers.

"Excuse me." Was all Dutch said before making a hasty exit. After that Rock was sure that Revy would have woken up. Somewhat relieved that she didn't he turned to one side and laughed while remembering the events of last night.

"At least I won."

"That's what you think but look who has the fucking prize." Revy stated in a soft voice as she lightly squeezed Rock.

"You have one fucking second to live." Revy hissed.

That was the fastest Rock had ever run out of a room. Once Rock was gone Revy chuckled and said to herself.

'Fucking A, I should take him out drinking more."