5 TIMES JOHN'S OMELET (OR FRITTATA) WAS RUINED BY SHERLOCK AND 1 TIME IT WAS NOT

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1) Broccoli and Sharp Cheddar Frittata

John took his time to gently cook the broccoli and evenly sprinkle the cheese. He even managed to flip it perfectly when Sherlock snapped off the heat.

"Lestrade texted. We're wanted."

John glared. "It's ten at night, I haven't eaten since lunch, and my omelet's almost done."

"It's a frittata, not an omelet, and you can get some takeaway after we're done."

It was nearly 2 a.m. when they plodded back in, after all the shops were closed. John wished he could blame Sherlock for the lack of salt as well as the rubberiness and iciness.


2) Herb and Mushroom Frittata

"What's the difference between a frittata and an omelet anyway?" John asked, seasoning his mushrooms with salt, pepper and thyme, and pouring in the eggs.

"Frittatas cook the fillings and add egg on top, and are flipped," replied Sherlock. "Omelets are cooked on one side only with pre-cooked fillings added on top."

John pushed at the edge of frittata, sniffed, and made a face. "Were you experimenting with eggs again?"

"Just the ones in the white carton, not the ones in the grey. Why?"

Silently John killed the heat and dumped the eggs into the garbage.


3) Omelet Du Fromage

"This is an omelet," Sherlock pronounced, flourishing the steaming plates.

"It . . . looks professional," said John, nonplussed. He tentatively took a bite. "This is amazing. What's in it?"

"Gruyere, milk, and eggs, cooked in butter. What?" Sherlock demanded as John's fork clattered to his plate.

"I'm lactose intolerant," explained John apologetically.

"But you eat cheese and buy milk!"

"Cheese is processed, has less lactose, and you're the one who keeps asking for milk."

Sherlock considered this before adding John's share of the omelet to his plate. "Well, you're always nagging at me to eat more."


4) Sausage Frittata

John tossed back a couple B-12 tablets with water. Getting sloshed at the pub to try to fit in while Sherlock gathered information was undeniably stupid; hopefully they wouldn't have to do an encore tonight. Meanwhile, his hung-over body wanted water, rest, and grease. Crumbling and cooking the sausage was actually less work than bundling up and heading out to eat.

He had just added the eggs when Sherlock stumbled in, grey-faced.

"Morning. Making breakfast if you – "

Sherlock suddenly threw up into the garbage.

John turned off the stove and made a mad dash for the toilet.


5) Western Omelet

In hindsight, John should've known better than to leave his omelet with Sherlock unattended while he answered his mobile. He found both in his room, omelet stapled to a paper plate on a stick and Sherlock crouched below the window. "Sherlock!"

"Get down and shut it. It only works with organic compounds. Watch." Sherlock slowly moved the plate across the window, keeping well out of sight.

Suddenly the omelet and plate exploded into a shower of messy fragments.

"What was that?" John gasped.

"Moriarty's new weapon." The note of excitement in Sherlock's voice made John realize he'd lost his appetite.


1) Courgette Blossom, Sage, and Goat Cheese

John used clarified butter like the French did, and completed the tri-fold. He'd had his doubts about the combination but he reckoned he had nothing to lose, and he was dimly surprised and pleased at how well it had turned out.

The orange of the courgette blossom and pale green of the sage contrasted nicely, as did their faint crunch with the soft egg, and by using only a little of the goat cheese, the tang did not overpower the subtle flavors of the vegetation.

It was a perfect omelet.

John wished Sherlock was still alive to somehow ruin it.