This popped into my head as my best friend and I were discussing what Niou would do if he got arrested. This is dedicated to Brittni!

I, sadly, do not own Prince of Tennis or any of it's wacky hi-jinx.

"Young man! Stop right where you are!"

Niou let a string of colorful curse words out under his breath, but kept moving. If there was one thing he'd learned, it was that if a cop told you to stop, act like he wasn't talking to you. Act like you'd have no reason for a cop to stop you.

"Young man!"

He ignored the yelling and kept walking. And when somebody grabbed him by the elbow and yanked him around, he put on a mask of blinking surprise. "May I help you?" He asked the officer in a confused tone.

The officer was a tall, young man with no facial hair and a small frown that seemed to be etched into his face. He was rather attractive and that made it difficult for Niou to make fun of him in anyway.

The officer let him go, but didn't move away. "I'm going to need to ask you a few questions."

"About what? Did something happen?"

The man looked suspicious as he answered. "There were reports of pick pocketing in the park across the street about ten minutes ago and-"

"Oh, don't worry, Officer." Niou smiled charmingly. "I didn't get anything stolen. See?" He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. It was connected to his belt loop with a chain. "Nobody could take it."

The officer shook his head and gestured to Niou's bag. "I'm going to have to look in your bag."

Niou frowned and tilted his head. "Why? I thought you wanted to know if anything was stolen."

"Sir, please, just let me look in your bag."

Niou shrugged and removed his school bag from his shoulder, handing it over to the officer. "I don't know what you could possibly want with it."

The cop peered inside and his frown deepened. "Sir," He pulled out a random wad of bills and held them up. "What's all this?"

Niou raised an eyebrow. Time to get cocky. "Money."

"Yes, well, where did it come from?"

"Well, from what I gathered from the days I actually stayed awake in my civics classes and such, it came from the government."

The officer, Niou supposed, just about had enough of his mouth and took him by the elbow again. "You're going to have to come with me."

"Are you arresting me?"

"No, I just need you to answer a few questions down at-"

"Then let me the fuck go."

The officer blinked in surprised and turned back around to look at him. "Excuse me?"

"If you're not arresting me, then let me go, because I don't have to go anywhere with you. So either arrest me and read me my fucking rights, or go away and give me my damn money back."

The next thing he knew, cold metal was cutting into his wrists and he could hear the clicking of the handcuffs snapping into place. Well, he saw it coming. He was being a jackass, after all.

About an hour later, he was sitting beside a small desk in a large room with other desks and people around. He figured it was a squad room of sorts, but why a random uniformed officer was there was beyond him.

"Sir, what's your name?"

Niou looked up at the question. "Maxwell Nicholson."

The officer blinked. "Sir, your real name, please."

"That is my real name."

"That's an American name."


"You're not American."

"How do you know?"


"That's racist."

The officer sighed and ran a hand through his spiked brown hair. Niou was surprised that the man hadn't already lost his patience with him. Because Niou obviously wasn't American, and besides that, his school ID said his real name, Niou Masaharu. If the officer really cared, he'd check his ID.

"Alright," The cop said, "I need to get a hold of your parents. If I could get your mother's name and number, that'd-"

"I don't have one."

"...Excuse me?"

"I don't have a Mom."

"Okay then. If I could get your father's name an-"

"I don't have one of those, either."

"Do you have any legal guardian I can contact?"


"Do you live alone?"


"Who do you live with?"

"My cat."

That remark got him thrown in a holding cell. The bars slammed shut in front of them and he leaned into them, hanging his arms out in between the bars. "Hey! Where's my one phone call?"

The cop started to ignore him, but paused at Niou's comment of, "I have the right to lawyer up!"

And then he was handed his phone. He smiled, thanked the officer, and flipped it open, dialing the familiar number before holding it to his ear. He waited as it rung, willing the officer to go away. When he didn't, Niou thought fast and came up with a plan.


Niou smiled at Yagyuu's perfectly polite voice. "Yes, Yagyuu-san?"

There was a short pause, in which Niou figured Yagyuu was weighing his options. Should I hang up on him because I don't want to be involved whatever he's gotten himself into this time, or should I go along with it and see what's going on? Niou swore to God, if he picked the former, he'd-

"Yes, Niou-kun? What can I do for you?"

Niou smiled a little. "I seem to have gotten myself into a spot of trouble. I'm in need of your excellent services."

He waited as Yagyuu contemplated again ("What could he've possibly done this time? What is it that he needs. What role am I supposed to be playing here?) before answering with, "What did you do, Niou-kun?"

"Yeah," Niou drawled out. "They're blowing it way out of proportion. It was only a couple of bucks, I swear." He rolled his eyes at the cop's scoff.

Yagyuu paused. "Niou, did you get yourself involved with that gang again? Because you remember how pissed off Yukimura was."

"Also, call my brother. I need to be bailed out." Niou made a childish face at the cop before saying "Thank you" to Yagyuu and hanging up.

An hour or so later, he looked up from the bed he was sprawled out on to see Yagyuu standing at the bars, wearing a nice brown suit with a briefcase.

"Niou-kun. You're brother's bailing you out right now."

"Good." Niou stood up and walked over to the bars. "They locked me up in here for no reason. I answered all their questions perfectly."

"You told them you didn't have any parents."

"With they way mine act, I don't."

Yagyuu rolled his eyes and stepped away as the cell was unlocked. Niou stepped out and smirked at the officer. "Thank you kindly."

"You're just lucky your brother had the money to bail you out." The officer muttered, stomping away.

Niou turned back to Yagyuu and grinned. "So. Who'd you get to play my brother this ti-"


Niou's eyes widened at the voice and he turned around slowly to face Yukimura. "B-Buchou... What're you doing here?"

Yukimura smiled, looking perfectly innocent, as always. "I came to bail you out, oh brother dear."

As soon as they were outside, Niou got chewed out while Yagyuu laughed. Niou was assigned to coach the first years for two weeks during practice as a punishment.

As they walked down the street towards the bus stop, Yukimura walking slightly ahead, talking to Sanada on the phone, Niou smirked a little.

Yagyuu raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"Although I got chewed out, and although I got to spend most of my afternoon in a jail cell, it was all totally worth it. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat to see you dressed up in that suit."