A/N Yup this story is back hope you all enjoy it as you did the first time around. I want to thank Kim Rathbone for stepping in and rebeta'ing this so those errors that seemed to drive people crazy are fixed.
After the Cullen's left the family started to fall apart first Emmett and Rose went on an expended honeymoon, Edward just sat in his room and the only person he would talk to was Alice. Alice started seeing Bella die over and over again, each time a different way, all of it was suicide. Then she stopped seeing her all together, and this broke her. Each time she had seen Bella she would blame Jasper. Jasper had enough of this and finally left. 5 years later he is working as a new psychiatrist at the state mental hospital in Seattle on his first day he smell a smell he never thought he would smell again. He finds Bella in a room that is monitor 24/7 her chart says his is very suicidal and she won't eat, so they have her on a feeding tube she looks like she a skeleton with skin stretched over it.
If you are not into Dark stories that deal with real life issues Please do not read.
Redemption comes when least expected.
"Good, I'm glad that everything went through as it should... Yes, I am ready to begin immediately... No, thank you for this opportunity... Okay, I will see you tomorrow morning. Goodbye." I hung up the phone and sank into the brown leather chair, glad that the necessary paperwork finally went through. Humans and their technology were surprisingly slow for this generation.
I sighed and sat back against the cushion, looking out the window at the view of Lake Washington. It's been four years since I left the family and now I find myself taking a job at Fairfax Mental Health Hospital in Kirkland, just outside of Seattle. I studied Psychology more than once over the past seventy years or so living with the Cullen's to help me become a better person, if you could really call a vampire a person. I guess you could say I was looking for redemption because of what we did to Bella.
I continued looking out across the lake, thinking about the past five years and what led up to where I was going to start working in the morning.
Fucking Edward had to break up the first family I have had in over a hundred years. I was blamed for it all of course, but I just couldn't handle the blood lust coming off of everyone. Edward won't admit to anyone, even himself, that his was the worst of the lot. Over the next few months Alice kept seeing visions of Bella, killing herself, and each time she would make me feel guilty saying it was all my fault.
Emmett and Rose just couldn't take it any longer so they left, saying that they had no idea when they would be back. Almost a year after we left, Alice stopped having visions of Bella and the rage I felt coming from inside of her was like nothing I had ever felt before.
After that I decided that I couldn't stay with them any longer. Edward was a zombie of himself just sitting in his room, only hunting when Alice or Carlisle forced him to. Esme was beside herself saying it was wrong that we left Bella that she was part of this family and now we killed her.
I had no idea where I would go, or what I would do with myself, but in that moment it didn't matter. All I knew was that I had to get away. I contemplated on going back to my natural diet, but in the end I wanted to stay true to my family. Part of me just could not bear to let down Carlisle or Esme.
It was just after seven in the morning when I walked into Fairfax Hospital, reporting to the Reception desk and telling the nurse there that I was the new Doctor and was here to meet with Dr. Watts. She paged him and within moments he was at the desk greeting me.
"Ah, Dr. Whitlock, it's so nice to meet you again, and it will be a pleasure to work with you." Dr. Watts said holding out his hand to shake mine.
"Dr. Watts," I replied, "Thank you for this opportunity to work with you and with the patients here at Fairfax." I said as I took his hand in mine.
"Let's get you started." Dr. Watts said turning and walking down the corridor on the left.
As we were walking to his office to go over some of the patients that I would be in charge of I caught a faint scent that I had not smelt in years and thought for sure I would never smell again. I pushed it aside because it could notbe true. Although, inside, a small part of me wanted it to be true.
We entered Dr. Watts' office and he motioned for me to take a seat.
"Dr. Whitlock, since this is your first time working in a hospital I will start you off with just a few cases." He began.
"I am willing to do as many as you feel comfortable handing over to me." I replied easily.
"I would like to see how you handle these five cases right now." He said as he handed me five case files to look over.
I took a quick glance at each of the names and I think my dead heart started beating again when the top file showed the name Isabella M. Swan. Now the other four names did not matter.
"Let's go over the top file first; she will be your hardest case." Dr. Watts said looking down at his desk.
"Miss Swan." I said as I opened up her file.
Right there on the first page, in red bold letters, at the top it said 24/7 suicide watch. My dead heart just went dead again.
"Yes, Miss Swan has been here the longest of any patient ever." He said still looking down at his desk and not meeting my eyes.
"What seems to be her problem?" I asked hesitantly, not really sure I wanted to know the answer, "Her file shows that in the almost five years that she has been here, she has been seen by twenty different doctors."
"She wants to die and none of us have reached her to be able to help her." He replied sadly.
"The chart shows that she currently has a feeding tube in and is on constant suicide watch." I said reading from the file.
"Yes she won't eat, hoping we will let her die," He said, "She won't talk to any of the staff. She just stares out into space and we have to sedate her so that she will sleep at night. That doesn't always work though as she is prone to nightmares. What we do know is that her parents brought her in at Christmas time four years ago because she was in a zombie-ish state and wouldn't eat. They thought we could help her and I really wish we could." Dr Watts was now looking at me with pleading eyes, as if I was their last hope.
"I will do my best, but how can I help her when twenty other doctors including yourself haven't been able to?" I asked.
"You can't fault me for hoping." He replied.
"No, I guess not," I sighed, "Let's go over the other four cases so I can meet my patients."
"You have the twins Michele and Michael O'Connor," Dr. Watt's started as if glad to be off the subject of Isabella, "They are seventeen and are delusional. They both think they can see the future which leads us to Nyx, your other patient, who thinks she hears voices telling her to do wrong. All three have some form of Schizophrenia. The last case file should be your easiest; Anorexia Nervosa which is rarely found in males, but Thomas is a classic case, so you should have no real problems there." He said as he stood up to lead me back out into the hall.
"So one unknown diagnosis, three cases of Schizophrenia, and Anorexia." I confirmed. "Sounds like a good way to break in the new doctor." I said following him out into the hall.
"Let's start with Thomas, Nyx and the O'Connor twins and then we will finish with Miss Swan." He suggested.
"Sounds good," I said as I placed Thomas' case file on top of the others to look it over as we walked down the corridor towards his room.
Thomas was a fourteen year old boy who saw himself as obese, yet, he was anything but. He seemed very shy and was not willing to answer any of my questions. I jotted down some remarks on his chart so that later on when I came back to talk with him it would all be indicated in his chart. I really did not have to write anything down due to my vampire mind, but with this being a treatment center, everything needed to be noted in each of the patient's charts.
Nyx was an interesting young lady; she was the youngest of all my patients at the age of eight. She was very out spoken and was willing to tell me anything I wanted to know. I was most curious about her name though.
"Nyx, I have never seen or heard that name before, do you know how you got your name?" I questioned her.
"My mom loves vampire books and named me after one of the characters she read about as a teen." She said while studying me closely.
"I have been told that you hear voices in your head," I stated gently, "Want to tell me about them?" I asked.
"Not really," She shrugged, "No one believes me so why would you?"
"If you look me straight in the face and explain the voices to me I can tell if you are lying or not." I told her knowing I would be able to tell if she was lying by her emotions alone.
"Maybe later, right now I want to color, it's my coloring time." She said indifferently.
Dr. Watts nodded and then added, "Nyx doesn't like disorder and has to keep to her time schedule or she becomes very troubled."
I noted this in her chart and also made a mental note to ask why this wasn't noted in her chart before. The next room was the twins. If Michele didn't have long hair you would not have been able to tell the two apart. I wanted to spend some alone time with them to learn exactly why they felt they could see the future. Are they like Alice? I couldn't help but wonder. Just thinking her name brought back the past years which led us to my last patient. Isabella Swan.
After we left the twins room we went down a different wing which was under surveillance. We had to check in at one window and be rung through a locked door into a corridor that housed six rooms. Once we made it through the main door, Bella's smell became stronger.
Bella's room was the first room on the right which was next to the monitoring station. Walking into her room first I was hit with the sweet smell of her blood which made my throat burn more than it had in years. The sight before me was of Bella lying on her bed with her wrists and ankles cuffed to the bed frame. She had a feeding tube, IV and an oxygen line under her nose and her body looked more like a skeleton with skin stretched over it.
If I could cry I would have. What have we done to this sweet young lady that was so full of life and had no fear? I vowed right then and there that I would do whatever it took to get through to her and help her get back to the young lady that I knew before I'd tried to kill her on her eighteenth birthday.
I walked slowly to her bed and I could tell she was awake by the way she was breathing, but it was still very slow and shallow. That would be the reason behind having her on the oxygen line. I was shocked that she didn't have more health problems or organs that were shutting down.
"Miss Swan, can you look at me?" I asked as I stood next to her bed.
I got no response from her so I knelt down next to the bed. Touching her arm lightly as I called her name again, "Miss Swan, can you look at me?"
I think it was more the touch than anything else that got her to look at me.
"Miss Swan, I'm Dr. Whitlock. I'd really like to understand what put you here." I said looking into eyes that seemed void of life.
That fucking moron, I fumed, I so want to find his ass right now and kill him slowly for what he has done to this sweet girl. I knew when I got home I was going to have to call Carlisle to let him know that I found her and to ask him for some advice on how to proceed on this. I looked back down and saw that Bella was just staring at me not really seeing me.
I asked Dr. Watts if he minded if I spent some time alone with Miss Swan and thankfully he agreed. He just asked that when I was done to come to his office where we would discuss my feelings on each case. I knew inside though that I was going to need to spend most of my time with Bella. I would schedule my days so that the majority of my time was spent right here.
As soon as Dr. Watts had left the room I leaned closer to Bella ignoring the burn in my throat from being in such close proximity to her.
"Bella," I said softly, "Its Jasper, I don't understand how or why you are here, but I willget you better. I promise that."
I was not sure if I could really help her or if she even wanted to be helped. I would have to read her whole file and maybe talk with the other doctors to see if they had forgotten to write something down. I decided I would go ahead and leave Bella for today and come back after I had discussed things with Carlisle, at least.
"Bella, I will see you tomorrow. Please, let me help you." I said, placing a kiss on her forehead.
Walking out that door was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. I found myself drawn to her. I made sure that the nurses knew that if there was any change whatsoever in Bella to give me a call, no matter what the time of day it was and then headed back to Dr. Watts' office.
Dr. Watts looked up from the file he was working on as I stepped inside his doorway.
"So you have met your patients... Do you feel you can handle them?" He questioned me.
"I can handle them," I said confidently, "But I am very concerned about Miss Swan, who will be my primary patient from here on out." I stated firmly.
"Nurse Ball says that she responded to your touch and that you kissed her before you left the room," He stated, not taking his gaze off of me, "Care to explain this?"
"I knew Miss Swan years ago, that is all you need to know." I said not wanting to give any more information than needed.
"Were you involved with her? If so you know you can't treat her, it would be unethical."
"No I was not involved with her. She dated my younger brother, now I will say no more on this. Just let me do my job." I wouldn't tell him that I think it was my family's leaving that put her here in the first place.
I was pleased when Dr. Watts dropped his questioning about my involvement with Bella. He showed me where my office was and told me that I had the rest of the day to study my case files before starting on my cases tomorrow. So I spent the rest of the day going over each of the files except for Bella's. I would take this one home with me and talk with Carlisle.
It was well after seven that night when I left Fairfax and drove back to my place on Moss Bay. As soon as I was in the door I walked over to my favorite chair which sat by the window so I could look out of the window at Lake Washington. I was trying to get the courage to call Carlisle and inform him what we all thought was wrong, but she might as well be dead.
I hit the number one of my speed dial and listened as it rang three times before he answered.
"Jasper. It's been awhile, how are things?" He asked since it's been over a year since I last called home.
"Carlisle," I said acknowledging him but cutting straight to the chase, "Who all is at home?" I asked not knowing who would be there, but also knowing the whole family would want to know Bella was alive.
"Just Esme and I are home. Edward and Alice left together over a year ago and Emmett and Rose will be here within a week for their first visit home. Why do you ask son?" It felt good to hear him call me son after everything that has happened.
"Will you put this call on speaker please I have something both of you need to hear and then I would like to speak to you alone." I asked this knowing full well Esme could hear me without it being on speaker, but I also knew that she doesn't like to eavesdrop on others.
"Jasper, it's so nice to hear your voice, but it sounds off. Son, is everything alright?" Esme asked as soon as Carlisle had the phone on speaker.
"No... It's not alright." I said telling the truth because it wasn't alright and I didn't know if I'd be able to make it alright by fixing Bella.
"Jasper, did you slip up?" Esme asked sounding concern.
"God no," I huffed, "It's a bit confusing right now and I think it would be best if you both are sitting down for what I have to tell you." I said, still trying to find the words I needed to tell them.
"We are both sitting son, now what has you so out of sorts?" Carlisle asked trying to get straight to the point.
"It's Bella." I said quickly.
I heard them both gasp and had to take a second just to regain my thoughts.
"What do you mean Bella?" They both asked sounding very confused.
"The only way to say this is to say it straight. Bella is alive, but barely." I replied.
"What do you mean? Where are you?" Carlisle asked and I could tell he was going into Doctor Mode.
"I decided to us my Psychology Degree and got a job at Fairfax Mental Hospital in Kirkland, Washington. Bella's a patient there and has been for almost five years. She wants to die." I whispered. Once again I heard them gasp but I continued on, "Right now she is only being kept alive by the feeding tube in her stomach."
"I'm coming to get my baby." Esme said fiercely.
"I don't think that is wise right now Esme." I said as soothingly as possible, "According to her file she has been catatonic until today when I touched her arm. Let me try to help her first. I also don't think it's wise to let Edward and Alice know just yet. And when you say they left together over a year ago do you mean as mates or as friends." I asked trying to side track them both for a minute or two.
"Mates. I guess all the time they spent together trying to help each other over Bella brought them together." Carlisle stated.
"I am glad for them, just try and keep this from them as long as possible for now." I requested. "Carlisle can we now speak alone? Esme, I will keep you posted on how Bella is doing." I added before Carlisle switched off the speaker and ran out of the house.
I listened to the wind as it rushed past the mouthpiece of his phone until it stopped abruptly, "Son, we're alone now." Carlisle said.
"From going over her file she was brought in around Christmas time shortly after we left. She has had the feeding tube since then. She has tried dozens of times to kill herself, so now she is under twenty-four/seven watch and is cuffed to the bed, on not just her arms, but her legs also. They move her around twice a day to try and prevent bed sores. Twenty different doctors have tried to bring her out of this state and have failed. She looked at me when I asked her to, when I was gently touching her arm. She looks more breakable than ever. She's just flesh stretched over bones." I said, finally taking in an unneeded breath. "I am scared that I won't even be able to help her as she has no will to live." I was telling the full truth to him, not withholding any information. I knew that if he was going to help me then he needed all the dirty details.
"Son, I know that you can help her and I am here when you need to talk, just bring her back to us." He begged, "We were so wrong to follow Edward and his decision to leave. Knowing Bella is still alive will bring us back together as a family. I think it's time we come back together. Once Emmett and Rose are here we'll move to the house in Vancouver to be closer to you and her." He said with more life in his voice then I have heard in years.
"I will do my best." I told him, finding the conviction I needed to do the job.
Soon after we ended the call I went hunting knowing that I would need to hunt more to be around my Bella. Where did this Mycome from, I wondered. Was this the draw I felt for her or just wishful thinking on my part?