cool story bro, umad?

Standard disclaimer applies.

Summary: Tenten just wanted to let loose and have some fun. She didn't expect that the one time she decides to destroy her liver and have a one night stand, it's with a crazed psychopath with hair longer than hers. "So, when do you think is an acceptable date to be wed?" "EXCUSE ME?"

One Night Stand
Chapter One

Tenten frowned at her reflection. "I don't like it." She said honestly, pulling at her curled hair which resulted in a smack from her friend. "Ridiculous!" Ino just about screamed in her ear. "You look like an Iwa doll!" she paused, reapplying hairspray to the curl. "Which also means that your hair is as fine as Iwa hair, so don't tug on it, the curls will die."

Tenten rolled her eyes, hating when Ino made references to her background, considering she looked nothing like most fair, tiny and utterly gorgeous people from Iwa.

"Um… my ass." She pinched her cheeks and scowled at her reflection. "I look like a devil clown."

Ino pinched Tenten's nose. "You look like an angel who descended from the heavens." Tenten cracked a smile. "An angel meant to get her sexy on at Kunai with her friends tonight!"

"Yeah, yeah." said in a nasally voice, prying Ino's fingers off her nose. "I kinda really don't feel like going."

Ino wrinkled her perfect nose. "You always say that, Ten."

"I can't help it!" she wailed. "It's not my thing! I'm not you or even Sakura who at least awkwardly sits at a table!"

"I can hear you!" the latter cried from the bathroom.

"Oh, be quiet! You know we love you!" Ino yelled back. "But Tenten… really!" she let out an exasperated sigh. "Getting out and partying and drinking is good for you!"

Tenten opened her mouth.

"Shut. It." The blonde pinched the brunette's arm. "You know what I meant!"

Tenten sighed as Ino pouted cutely. "I'm not a lesbian, so that shit's not gonna work on me."

Ino waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Are you sure, baby?"

Tenten cracked another smile. "Yes, quite." She took another look at her face in the vanity. "Fine… I'll go… but only if you let me take all of this off my face."

Ino squinted and wrinkled her nose again. "But then nobody will talk to you?"

Tenten fumed at turned to glare dangerously at her younger friend. "Eek! Joking, joking!" she made a mad dash for the other side of the room, grabbing a pillow to protect her face.

Tenten couldn't help but let a big grin her face. "Whatev, pig."

Tenten was really beginning to regret coming. She sighed and looked at what she was wearing again; an extremely tight pair of dark-wash denim jeans and a black halter top that sparkled in the light.

"I look like a whore." Tenten whined to her friends. Ino shook her head "If you look like a whore than I look like… a super, super whore."

"You do." Tenten said bluntly as three green jello shots were placed on their table. "Oh shut up! You're the most Amish lookin' girl here." For emphasis the blonde hiked her short skirt up even higher.

"You're like a slutty twelfth grader." She commented. Ino feigned embarrassment. "Well. I try!" she winked and looked out at the dance floor as another fast-paced infectious song began beating out of the DJ's corner. "Well. Sakura's gone and having fun… I'm about to do the same... and I suggest you try and do the same!" Ino patted Tenten's shoulder before making her way to the dance floor, disappearing into the crowd.

"I know how to have fun." She grumbled under her breath, scowling at the three drinks on the table.

A half hour passed and Tenten was honestly bored out of her mind. She sighed and looked at her phone. 11:47 pm

She took another look at the three shots that were sitting at the table. 'You know what? Eff it! I need to loosen up!'

She smiled slightly. "Bottoms up!" she said to herself as she prepared to get herself drunk for the first time since Senior Prom.

Twenty minutes later she had successfully pulled in a crowd.

"Drink! Drink! Drink!" Tenten swallowed down her umpteenth shot and thrust the empty glass in the air.

"WOOOOOOOH!" she screamed, earning the roar of the crowd. "How many is that?" she slurred to a nearby waiter who shrugged in response.

By now the crowd had dispersed, but in all truthfulness Tenten was too shitfaced to truly give a fuck. She put the glass down and made her way to the dance floor, squeezing her way through the crowd.

Tenten stumbled through the crowd onto the other side and squinted, stumbling until she bumped into somebody. "Sorry." She managed, grabbing onto the front of his shirt for support.

"Hn." The stranger yanked at her wrists pulling her hands off his shirt. She frowned as he began to briskly walk around the dance floor.

"Hey, mister!" she grabbed his arm, stumbling into him again. "You seem 'grr.'"

He raised an eyebrow as she made a claw with her left hand. "You need to mellow out!"

His mouth remained in a firm line as he shook her off and again started walking off. She scowled and grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. "Hey, mister!" she snapped her fingers in his face. "You need a drink! You seem so tense!" she tugged him towards her and nearly fell backwards when he bumped into her. As she was about to topple over he grabbed her waist from behind.

"Whoa…" she grabbed his upper arm and to anyone who was looking it would look a lot like they were waltzing.

Which would be particularly stupid at a club.

She grinned lopsidedly at him. "Thanks!" she grabbed the hand around her waist, unaware of his eyes looking intently at her.

She frowned when she couldn't pull the hand off from around her. She let out a frustrated sigh and turned around, letting go of his hand. "Mister, I'm going to hafta ask you to let me go." She squinted at him again, leaning in closer, barely balancing herself on the toes of her heels. "You're really good looking."


"Excuse me?" she fell back on the heels of her heels and leaned in closer, genuinely oblivious to the fact that he had merely made a sound.

He looked into her large expectant doe eyes and furrowed his eyebrows when she leaned in even closer. "I didn't quite hear you."

"I said be quiet, you insufferable woman." The man pinched the bridge of his nose, as if deep in thought… unmistakably the alcohol was getting to his head.

He turned to stare at her again, as she stared back, her eyes waiting expectantly for him to clarify what he had just said. She opened her mouth to ungracefully go eh but before she could, he pressed his mouth to hers.

"Mmph…" she quickly melted into the kiss, closing her eyes and sliding her hands up his chest and around his neck. She pressed her tongue against his, almost tentatively, as her fingers wove into his hair.

She moaned in discomfort when he forcibly arched her body to fit better against his. "That hurt." She whined into their sloppy open mouth kiss.

He didn't answer and simply pulled her tighter against him, completely focused on their mouths, fervently pressed against each other. She continued to play with his hair, in a half-daze as he suckled at her bottom lip and began moving his mouth down her neck. "Mmm…" she pulled at his hair, bringing his mouth back up to hers and kissing him.

She opened her eyes when she felt his warmth leave her. She whimpered childishly and reached out for him, pressing her mouth to his again in a feverish kiss. She pouted when he pulled away again, however, this time their fingers were intertwined as he pulled her to the exit of the club. "My friends are still here…?" she wondered out loud.

He pressed her against the wall outside the club. "Hush, woman." He growled against her mouth, kissing her again. She gladly surrendered to his dominant kiss as his tongue ran over her teeth before delving in deeper.

And just as she was losing herself in the kiss again, a car pulled up and he yanked her into it with him, never breaking the passionate kiss.

"Mmm…ah…" Tenten tried to ignore the pounding in her head. 'What happened last night…' She moaned as her head throbbed again and she rubbed her temples. "Ah…" she groaned.

It was now that she finally noticed that she was not in the comfort of her apartment. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, groaning and smacking her head against the headboard when she fell back again.

"Fuck me…" she yowled, trying desperately to remember what had happened last night. And it was now that she realized that she was as naked as the day she came out of the freakin' womb.

"Nah. Seriously. Fuck me." She cried aloud, wrapping the sheets tighter around her body. She was about to scan the room for her clothes when she heard something stop. 'The shower?'

Ah… her partner in crime.

She fumed red, which was outrageously uncommon for her. 'Oh geez.'

Tenten was not a virgin by any means—like many she'd gone kind of crazy in her college years… but never had she had a one night stand. There were so many risks… which obviously she was too shitfaced to think about last night.

"What do I do?" She asked herself, playing out a conversation in her head.

'So… I don't really remember what happened last night, 'cause you know I was drunker than my parents the night I was conceived but I'm sure the sex was bomb! See you around!'

She turned around so she could repetitively bash her head against the headboard as she cursed herself for not waking up first and booking her ass out of this popsicle stand. She groaned and noticed a bowl of mints by the bedside and quickly tossed ten in her mouth.

'Eating calms me down…' she defended, when she suddenly thought. 'WHAT IF THEY'RE DRUGGED?'

She shook her head, slapping her face in an attempt to calm herself down. 'This is obviously awkward on both halves.'

Suddenly another horrible thought dawned on her 'What if he has an STD?'

"So much for letting loose!" she threw her hands up in the air, praying that they had used a condom. Her eyes widened. "What if I'm pregnant?" she whispered into the air, before going into a fit of hysteria.

"Oh, eff. Oh, eff. Oh, fuck." She wailed, going into a coughing fit as she swallowed down the mints before she could properly suck them down to size.

And it was now, while she was in the midst of hysterics that her ahem "partner-in-crime" entered the room. And oh, how considerate. He was fully clad in a whole towel that was about to fall down and reveal his little willy to her.

Tenten gave him an admiring up-down with her eyes. 'Why, hello.'

But then she remembered something. She had slept with this guy last night and suddenly things got awkward again.

"So, um…" before she could fully get her thoughts organized, her big, stupid mouth opened. "Um…" he turned to look at her and Tenten gave him a outlandish look. 'His hair is longer than mine. Great. I slept with a fag.'

"Yes?" he answered politely, taking his towel off—and much to Tenten somewhat dismayed relief—was wearing boxers. "I… um. Hi."

She looked at the window, wondering how painful the fall would be, because it this moment she wanted nothing more than to kill herself as quickly as possible.

He smirked at her, pulling on a pair of pants and sitting on the bed next to her sliding in close. "Good morning." He murmured against her mouth.

Tenten had her eyes shut, and was breathing heavily, thanking the heavens that she had just pretty much inhaled those breath mints.

She didn't dare open her eyes. "Um… well… I should get going." She stammered over her words when he ran his thumb over her naked collarbone.

'I should really get some clothes on.'

She couldn't understand the flurry of relief, confusion and disappointment that overcame her when he pulled away. "Most likely." He turned his back to her and Tenten nearly covered her face when she saw the scratches going down his back.

"Holy crap…" she murmured, not loud enough for anyone to hear, as again, uncharacteristically, her face fumed red from embarrassment. "But of course, before you go it should be decided."

Tenten blinked, "Pardon me?"

Tenten saw his hand go to his face as he made his way to the bathroom and then came out again, small elastic in hand. "An acceptable date for our wedding."

Tenten's doe eyes widened until she thought they were going to fall out of her sockets.


hello lovelies.


anywaaays, I'm baaaaaack! & this is a new story. I'm also in the midst of working on my others, so hush HUSH. No negative vibes, bros. This is semi-inspired by What I Like About You (but not really). You know how Val and Vic get married in Atlanta and she's like WTF and he's as chill as a weed-smokin' hippie? Yeah. & I'm kind of just going with the flow with this one… vague outline of where shit is goin'. I know the beginning, I know the end now I just gotta put the shit in the middle. I also have a short second filler chapter done for this… depending on the response to this fic I will either post it or actually add content to it, hahh. & I'm not a hundred percent happy with the title… so, that could be changed. And ahahahh… Kunai. A FOR CREATIVITY. But seriously... and obviously I cannot write a kissing scene either, so I might take that out when I get someone saying 'OH GEEZ. ARE YOU A HORNY TWELVE YEAR OLD?' And I'm like 'No... I JUST AM NOT EXPERIENCED IN THE ART OF TONGUE-DOWN-THROAT-WRITING.'

PS. Posting this made me remember how nerve-wracking posting a story is, considering it's been like... forever.

oh yeah. review.

& listen to tonight, tonight by hot chelle rae. I guarantee it'll put you in a good mood:]