A Pong Lemon

by Prince Janus

AN: They said it couldn't be done, they were wrong. This is the first ever, to my knowledge Pong Lemon. I know what your thinking. "Why the hell a Pong Lemon?" Well the reason is that for one it had never been done, and secondly some people seemed to think it was impossible to write a game about to paddles and a ball. For me that just sounds like it's screaming for a lemon to be made. So I set out to create one. Here is the result. It's a heart wrenching tale of two lovers finally being united after years apart. Try to keep a mental picture of Pong in your mind the entire time that you are reading this. Enjoy.

Well, despite being a lemon, or really a lime, I don't feel that the sex is graphic so I'm just giving this an R rating.. If your looking for a porn fic then you are most certainly in the wrong place.

Paddle A moved up and down his pre subscribed path. Up and down, all of his life that was all he had been able to do. Move up and down and bounce a ball back and forth between himself and his love, Paddle B. All of his life Paddle A had longed to break free of what bound him to remain forever in place, only allowed to move up and down.

"I like how your handling the ball today." Said Paddle B from across the line, oh yes, that accursed line that separated him from his love.

"Yes, if only we could touch in some other way than through this damnable ball." Replied Paddle A with a sigh.

"Hey guys, it's not my fault." Ball said.

"He's right. But, perhaps, perhaps some day the powers that be will grant us our one wish." Said Paddle B sadly.

It was then that one of the powers that be looked down upon the two paddles and took pity on them. Fenrir stared down at the Pong game sitting on the table. "It's just not right, they are so in love, they should be allowed to be together." Fenrir said. He then spoke to the two. "I have decided to help the two of you."

Fenrir hooked the Pong game up to his computer. He began to type for a few minutes and then, suddenly for the first time in his life Paddle A moved forward. For so long he had only moved up and down, but now his range of movement had been doubled. He rushed forward. Across the line he saw that Paddle B was also rushing forward. Soon they would be united. It was then that Paddle A came to a horrible realization, the line.

Yes the line that for so long the two star crossed would be lovers had tossed the ball back and forth. Paddle A reached the line at the same moment as Paddle B. They both crashed into the line. What cruel trick was this? Fenrir had promised them they would be together, and yet something still stood in their way.

Paddle B cried up to the sky above them. "Oh Fenrir, you have had mercy upon our poor souls, and yet this line still lies between us. As a great man once said, Fenrir tear down this wall!"

Fenrir looked down upon the two forlorn life forms below, his heart was once again moved to pity and with a wave of his hand the line vanished. At last the lovers were united. Ball began to cry. "It's so beautiful."

It was then that Paddle A and Paddle B realized another dilemma. The two of them were just straight lines. They had no body parts whatsoever. Fate truly had revealed its hatred this day. After overcoming so many obstacles they were to be defeated by the manner in which their creator had designed them. Oh why had they ever been created? To provide entertainment for a bored computer designer? What kind of existence was that! It's not right! I demand more!

Fenrir sighed. "Would you stop getting all philosophical. I have a plan." Fenrir began to type on his computer once again. "I can't add body parts to you, but I can alter your genetic structure. There, that should do it."

Paddle A moved, he then realized that he could bend, he looked across at Paddle B, she too had gained the ability to bend and twist. At long last the two lovers intertwined. Fenrir and Ball watched with tears in their eyes.

Paddle A and B danced the promenade that had been around since the Dawn of Time. At last the two were united into one. Paddle A and Paddle B fused together into One, body, mind, and soul. Well you get the point. They had sex.

After what seemed like hours, during which Fenrir and Ball made themselves scares, at last the dance was complete, Paddle A and Paddle B were still wrapped around one another in an happy afterglow. Paddle A looked around with a happy sigh. "I wish to be with you forever, just like this."

"And so do I." Replied Paddle B.

Fenrir walked back in. "Well then. You two can get married."

"Really?" said the two surprised Paddles.

"Sure, as ruler of a country I have the right to marry all those in my land who wish it."

Thus, in a few days the ceremony was ready. Paddle A and Paddle B stood over where the line used to be. Ball stood next to Paddle A as the best man. The ceremony was short.

"Do you Paddle A take Paddle B to be your lawfully wedded wife to . . . well you know, all that stuff." Asked Fenrir

"I do." Said Paddle A.

"And do you Paddle B take him for yadda yadda, you know."

"I do." Replied Paddle B.

"Okay then. By the power invested in me as ruler of Zeal, I pronounce you man and wife, er, I mean paddle and paddle. You may now move close to each other to make it look like you are kissing." And that's just what the two paddles did. The two of them lived happily ever after. Ball eventually met the Ball from Brickle and they are now expecting there second child.

AN: And there you have it folks. Let me know what you thought. Disturbing? Funny? Moving? Or maybe all three. I don't even know if this would make it to an R rating. Fuck, Damn, Shit, Bitch, Hell. There, now it's an R fic.