What if Suze hadn't brought Jesse's body back to the 20th century? We're told that if we change the past it will affect the future. But does it really? Can we change the course of fate so easily?

Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns the Mediator characters and story line, and Taylor Swift owns the song "The Way I loved You".

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous…

The California sun was unbearably hot, but Paul wrapped his arm around my shoulders anyway as we walked through the courtyard of our high school. The "Perfect Couple" people called us. "Made for each other."

I wasn't so sure.

Paul was nice, polite, not to mention incredibly hot. But something never seemed right, something was off. And not just because Paul could see ghosts. That's not unusual for people like Paul, our principal Father Dominic and myself. No that's normal everyday stuff for a mediator.

The hushed whispering of our classmates, as we made our way to the picnic tables the Mission used for lunch tables, grew louder as we passed.

Especially when we passed Kelly Prescotts table.

"He could do so much better than that freak." I met Kelly's eye, she didn't even try to keep that comment quiet.

He says everything I need to hear and it's like

I couldn't ask for anything better...

Paul twirled a piece of my hair around his long tanned finger. "Don't listen to her Suze. She's just jealous that you have the hottest man in the whole county."

"Right." I answered non-committal, quickening my pace as I caught sight of Cece and Adam at our usual eating spot.

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says you look beautiful tonight

And I feel perfectly fine...

Prom night. The night every girl dreams about. So why don't I feel like I'm on cloud nine?

I studied my reflection in the mirror one last time, making sure everything was perfectly in place. Make-up - check; Hair curled and not a hair out of place - check; dress unwrinkled and spotless - check; nails painted - check.

The squeal of brakes and a car horn announced the arrival of my date before my mother got the chance.

Paul met me at the bottom of the stairs. All perfect in his tux, but I felt nothing.

Mom snapped a million pictures of us, while Andy lectured Paul on safe driving and how important my curfew was.

Thankfully we made it out to Paul's car in- what I consider- record time. I was sure my smile was plastered to my lips permanently.

Paul opened the passenger side door for me, and helped me in. "You look great." He smiled at me as he buckled himself into the driver's seat.

"We'll be the talk of the night. I wouldn't be surprised if we get Prom King and Queen." The thank you and compliment I was about to reply with died on my lips. I think I was starting to figure out what that nagging feeling I had was.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain...

Tanned, warm arms circled my waist as I stood in the graveyard that made up the back yard of the Mission Academy. I loved grave yards. I never really know why. Maybe it was because it was the only place I didn't run into a ghost. Except one.

"Why did you leave me?" I whispered to the warm and muscled body that pressed against my back, holding my tightly to him.

"I have never left you. I'm here. Right here." The figure turned me around placing both our hands over my heart.

"Susannah. Querida." Soft lips captured mine, desperate. Fear rose up in me. Fear that this would end.

I found that fear justified as he started to fade. I cried out, clutching desperately at him. Hoping that if I held on long enough he would stay.

But it was no use, with one last kiss and his deep voice whispering my name, he vanished like a mist. I curled up on the grass sobbing, light rain slowly dampening my clothes. Somewhere in my subconscious I noticed the tombstone I was curled up against. Hector "Jesse" De Silva.

And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name...

"Suze! Hey Suze!" I launched myself at Doc, practically toppling us both over onto the floor. I was still sobbing. They were the heart wrenching, body convulsing, non-ceasing sobs. Doc awkwardly patted my back until I calmed down enough to be coherent.

"That must have been some dream. Are you alright Suze?" Doc ran a hand through his already bed wrangled, red hair. "Did you have a nightmare?"

The tissue I was about to blow my nose with stopped midway to my face. "I- I don't remember." David's face contorted with confusion.

You kept yelling some guys name, and saying don't leave. All the sudden you started thrashing around and crying. I thought you might have been having a seizure."

Scenarios ran through my head of what I could have been dreaming about. I cringed at the idea I could have been dreaming about Paul.

"I think the guys name was... Jesse?"

At the mention of those two syllables my heart broke all over again.

You're so in love that you acted insane

And that's the way I loved you…

The rest of my night went very similar. Waking up in a cold sweat, tears rolling down my face. Never once remembering what my dream was about.

Morning couldn't come soon enough.

Breakin' down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kinda rush…

Weeks went by and I continued to wake the entire household nightly with my screams and sobs. My poor, frantic mother took to sleeping on my window seat while Doc slept on the floor beside my bed.

It got to the point where I couldn't fall asleep. My mind wouldn't let me. I was scared witless of what was waiting for me on the other side of my eyelids. Though I couldn't remember anything, something in my subconscious told me I wasn't going to like it.

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you…

Father Dominic paced back and forth in front of me, while I sat in one of his office chairs filing my nails. My daily visits to his office were routine mediator meetings to us, to my classmates it made me look like some kind of delinquent.

"And you say this has been going on for weeks?" Father Dom let his hand run down his face in exasperation. "Susannah, when are you going to learn that you need to tell me these things before they accelerate?"

Father Dominic has this wild notion that my nightmares are of the paranormal persuasion. I just think I'm going nuts.

I gave an exasperated sigh, glancing up at Father Dom's worry riddled, but stern face. "Ok, I'm sorry." I turned back to my nail file. "But I didn't think it was a big deal." I gave a non-committal shrug, hoping he would get the hint.

"Susannah, insomnia is most defiantly a big deal." The aging priest looked over his glasses at me, pinning me with a stare that would rival Sister Ebsteins.

I slouched down further in my chair, resigning to the fact that I always seemed to be wrong.

It wasn't that I couldn't sleep, it was I was afraid to.

He respects my space

And never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will…

The second hand ticked by slowly as I checked my watch for the tenth time that minute.

He was late- again.

My reflection in the fountain was distorted by the slight breeze coming through the Missions court yard, but I could still make out the dark rings under my eyes courtesy of lack of sleep and an over abundance of frustration.

Paul was obviously otherwise occupied and I had missed my chance to catch a ride home with Brad. I mused about whether Adam and Cece had left yet. Adam was always looking for an excuse to show off his car and driving skills.

Wincing slightly as I stood up from the fountain ledge, I turned in time to see Paul ambling out from the chapel area.

"Ready to go?" He questioned as he got within arm's reach of my figure, leaning in to try and kiss me. Luckily being a mediator has made my reflexes quite quick, allowing me to duck out of the way of his lips and under his confining arms.

"Yes I am." I replied tersely as I made my way towards the parking lot, not even bothering to see if Paul was following me.

He's close to my mother

Talks business with my father…

I hoped I could ditch Paul as soon as he dropped me off. A case of monthly cramps usually scared anyone of the male gender off faster than a bat out of Hades. But as my luck would have it my mother met us at the front door inviting Paul to stay for dinner- great.

He's charming and endearing

And I'm comfortable ...

The rest of the night I was stuck with Paul glued to my side while he charmed the pants off my mother (not literally), and discussed how Andy's new project was coming along- I think it was an add on to the front porch. All the while I had to endure Brad making kissy faces behind mom and Andy's backs. I honestly don't know what the girls at school see in him. His maturity level is lower than the elementary school kids.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name…

It happened again. I sat with my comforter wrapped tightly around my legs and torso, rocking back and forth trying not to make too much noise. These stupid dreams, I wiped my eyes and nose with my hanky. I don't remember where I got it from. I've had it since I moved to California a year ago. The initials M.D.S were embroidered in red on the corner. I had no clue whose it was, but I could never bring myself to throw it away.

I laid in bed trying not to go to sleep, but my body craved it, or was it something else it craved. I was slowly remembering snippets of my dreams. A dark haired man, a graveyard- one time there was a barn. None of it made sense.

I looked at my clock, two in the morning.

You're so in love that you acted insane

And that's the way I loved you…

"Suze don't move!"

Paul? The floor boards beneath my feet felt really hot through my high-tops, and the smoke kept building to the point that I couldn't see two feet in front of me.

A blanket came barreling through the flames, the person inside encasing me in their arms as they continued running for safety.

"We are going to have to jump Susannah!" A gruff Spanish accent invaded my ear, begging to be heard over the roar of the flame engulfed structure. My heart, body and soul responded enthusiastically to that voice. 'Jesse' they all whispered.

Breakin' down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kinda rush…

Jesse executed a side kick that would make any karate instructor proud, and the barns wood siding gave way, creating an escape route for us.

"Let's go!" Without much warning, I was swept into the air.

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you…

You know that feeling you get when you're half asleep and you feel like you're falling and then jolt awake? Yeah I hate that, especially when you can actually see the ground coming towards you and feel the wind clawing at you.

I ran my hand through my sweat dampened hair.

"Jesse. Oh my….. Jesse!" We had traveled through time, Paul and I. We traveled back to save Jesse. The century's old ghost I was in love with.

Everything was so hazy. All the details fuzzy, but my instincts were telling me I wasn't going crazy. It was real. Jesse was real. But he was gone now. Paul and I had changed the past. Jesse killed Diego, he survived.

Slowly the shock started to wear off, but my mind never seemed to clear. Sleep didn't come to me and for the first time in weeks I didn't care. Jesse was gone. Wasn't it what I had wanted in the end? Didn't I want him to live? No matter the time period?

Who was I kidding? I'm as selfish as they come. I wanted Jesse here, with me. Whether alive or as a ghost, it didn't matter to me.

He can't see the smile I'm faking

And my heart's not breaking

Cause I'm not feeling anything at all...

My phone vibrated in my pocket for the fifteenth time that minute.

Needless to say Paul didn't take the news that I didn't want to date him anymore, very well.

My leg tingled again as Paul continued his relentless assault on my voicemail. I'll bet it's full by now.

The grass felt cool beneath my knees as I knelt in front of the fairly new tombstone. Gently arranging the flowers I had picked on my way to school that morning. Brad hadn't been happy when I blackmailed him into pulling over for me to grab them.

Sitting back, I admired my handy work. Orange and white wild flowers sat in bunches in front of the tombstone. I was no Martha Stewart, but I felt quite proud of them.

Tenderly my finger ran over the lettering on the head stone, taking extra time to trace the "J"

"I love you. I can't believe I didn't get to tell you that enough. I love you Hector "Jesse" de Silva"

That is where Father Dominic found me later that afternoon.

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating, intoxicating,

Complicated, got away by some mistake and now...

My mood didn't lift much over the next few weeks. Father Dominic band me from the church graveyard after the fifth time he found me asleep in front of Jesse's tomb. Paul wouldn't leave me alone. He didn't seem to get the hint that I didn't want to see him ever again. But I think I got the point across to his ghost lackey's. After their attempt to kidnap me, I threatened to exorcise them if I caught them within a mile of me.

Cece was currently trying to cheer me up with some gossip she heard in the journalism room. As school newspaper editor Cece has access to all the school's juiciest gossip. I just wasn't in the mood.

"So I heard we're getting this new exchange student. He's supposed to be arriving in a couple weeks but he won't start till next year. Get this, he's from Spain!" Cece, leaned over the sorry excuse for a lunch table, her floppy sun hat and huge sun glasses obscured my vision of her facial expression. But I could tell she was quite excited by the prospect of someone new to our little school.

"That's great." I answered, trying to inflect my voice as much as possible, and could tell I failed miserably by the way Cece heaved a heavy sigh and flopped back onto her side of the table.

"What?" I cautiously gazed at my exasperated friend. Knowing full well what came next. It was a new routine between Cece and me.

"Are you ever going to tell me what's wrong?" Cece's eyes bored into my head, though I couldn't see them through her thick sunglasses I could feel them. Scrutinizing, searching, looking for something that gave me away.

I waved away her question with a non-chalet "Someday." How do you tell-even one of your best friends- that you're in love with a ghost? A ghost that doesn't even exist anymore.

"So," I said, this time putting more enthusiasm into my voice. "Tell me about the new kid."

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

It's 2am and I'm cursing your name…

Summer came and went in a flash. I ended up working with Dopey at the Pizza Palace much to both of our dismays. As much as I was starting to like the guy, I could still use some space from him.

Doc went off to math, space, science and whatever other brainiac camps they have now a days. It seemed he was there one second and then suddenly off to the next thing. I was starting to miss the little guy.

I saw Cece and Adam whenever they stopped in on the occasion to eat lunch at the Pizza Palace, and the few trips to the beach. Cece was working as an intern at the local newspaper and Adam had a job as a life guard. Everything seemed to be changing.

But one thing remained constant over summer break. My dreams of Jesse.

I'm so in love that I acted insane

And that's the way I loved you…

Hair straightened within an inch of its life. Brand new outfit. school supplies- not that I needed them. I was never in class, courtesy of Father Dom's mediator meetings.

I glanced around the room, making sure I wasn't missing anything. Grabbed my car keys and headed out the door with Doc trailing behind me.

The main court yard of the mission was bustling with first day activities. Kids from all grade levels were trying to catch up on each other's summer activities. Comparing tans and summer vacation.

I spotted Adam and Cece easily. Cece was the only person wearing a sunhat and glasses.

Breaking down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kinda rush…

First period went by slow. I wasn't use to actually sitting in class. Normally I would be in Father Dominic's office, but the new student was getting the rundown of the school from its beloved principle.

The words on the chalk board started to blur in and out as I tried to concentrate on the lesson.

A sudden movement near the classroom door caught my attention, as well as the rest of the class.

"Did that door just open by its self?" Kelly Prescott asked in disbelief.

Not a chance, I thought as I snapped my hand up, begging to be allowed to use the restroom.

Thirty minutes into the new school year and there is a ghost wondering the halls.

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh…

I raced down the breeze way, not really knowing where to even start looking. I wasn't even sure who I was looking for.

"Three Mediators in this school and we still have ghost problems. You'd think Father Dom would have a waiting room for these guys."

I skulked around the breeze ways for a good 15 minutes, hoping upon hope that Paul hadn't found the spirit first.

"It's quite an extraordinary gift to have."

Father Dominic's voice greeted me as I rounded the corner into the court yard. He was sitting at the fountain, the statue of the beloved founder of the mission was blocking my view of the person he was talking to.

"I'm glad you think so Father. I never knew what to do with it. You're the first person I've met who also shares this gift." Like a melody I had long forgotten, a Spanish accent, mixed with a hint of American influence, hit my ear drum like a gong.

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

Never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you …

My feet seemed to have a mind of their own. I wanted to stay in the breezeway, hidden, but they were curious as to who this mystery man was. Logic and irrationality were having an argument. Logic, logically I might add, reassures me that it's just the foreign exchange student. Jesse is dead, he can't come back. I made sure of that. Irrationality on the other hand had, what I thought was, a better explanation. Jesse's love for me was to great, and he came back from the dead. Delusional as it might sound, I liked that a lot better.

During my mental rant I had somehow ended up within eyesight of Father Dominic.

"Susannah. I'm glad you could join us," gesturing slightly to his side Father Dominic introduced the boy he had been talking to.

Color rose in my cheeks as the boy- no, oh no, defiantly a man- took my hand and kissed it. I noticed that the strong, tanned, warm hand that gently cradled mine, lead to a similarly strong and tanned arm, which lead to-what one could only assume was- a similarly strong chest. I finally made it to his face. Those eyes, that hair. Those lips.

"The pleasure is all mine, Querida."