Baconation
A fluffy, bacon-flavored friendship as recorded by me, Yuffie Kisaragi!~~~

(Not that you'd want to eat fluffy bacon…)

((Well, I don't know… People are into some weird things. Like deep-fried mars bars. ~shudder~))

(((Oh, I'm sorry. I'll start the story now.)))

((((Brackets- oh, sorry, SQUALL, 'parenthesis'- are fun~~~ Hehehe!~~))))


"Tada!~ Your breakfast is served, Mademoiselle!"

That was how I greeted my bestest buddy in the whole wide world this one fine morning in Traverse Town (look at me, setting the scene~ Forget being a master ninja, I could be a master author!~ Hahaha~~

Srsly. Looking at some of the drivel that gets published nowadays, it can't be /that/ hard.)

At my enthusiastic greeting Squall lifted his head, eyes narrowed.

Oh, and in case you're confused, Squall will ALWAYS be Squally-poo to me, NOT Leon! He'll never be a Leon in my eyes! And you can trust my eyes. I have pretty good eyes, being a sneaky-stealthy ninja; NOT a filthy pickpocket, thank you, CID.

It's not really my fault I keep stealing Cid's munny to buy watermelon popsicles from those three duck brothers with color-coded shirts; really, it's not! Don't hate me! (How could you anyway?~ Hehe~)

Cid keeps leaving his wallet everywhere like, pffftt, he actually /trusts/ me or something. It's his fault for tempting me.

LIKE EVE AND THE SNAKE.

Thou shalt not tempt Yuffie Kisaragi!~~ She's a nice girl, but if she sees shiny-shiny munny lying around (so bright and multi-colored and… drooool) then how do you expect her to control herself?

She can't!

…Oh, but I'm going off on a tangent.

I always do that.

Bad brain.

Very bad.

Back to Squall-but-call-me-Leon-HA-I-won't-you-can't-make-me! Or… maybe we could compromise? Squeon?

…That sounds too cute and fluffy for a mercenary with a bad-ass scar like-

Ooh, sorry, sorry!~

Back on subject in three, two, one-

Roll cameras!

…Not that there are any cameras.

Squall looked at me with narrowed eyes as though I was some kind of amoeba or something. Haha, nice to see you, too!~

You jerkass.

"Mademoiselle …?" Squall echoed, eyes narrowing.

"Yes~ It suits you!" I giggled, nodding my adorable lil' head. "Or would you rather I call you Squeon? It has a certain charm…"

"What are you talking about? And why are you twitching like that? Have you been at the caffeine again?" asked Squall, voice sexy sexy deadpan and mmm~ He'd actually be kind of a catch if he didn't have the personality of a cardboard box in a coma- but I love him all the same 'cause I'm a big-hearted person!~~

Aren't I just the cutest?

(Just nod your head and say 'Yes Miss Yuffie' at that question and we'll get along fii~iine.)

"Don't ask questions, Squeon!~" I said, smile-smile-smiling as brightly as I could. "Just eat your breakfast! I poured my heart and soul into it!"

Squall looked down at his ~*~tasty breakfast treat~*~ with those narrow slanty eyes. It's the same way he looks at heartless; as though he's trying to evaluate whether he should kill them or just not bother because 'life is meaningless and nobody caresss!'

Well, I care, so turn that frown upside down~

That was kind of why I made Squall that breakfast. I'm not a great cook, but I'll willingly sacrifice a few fingers or thumbs and get a funny-shaped burn or two I can boast about to Cid if I can make Squeon happy.

He doesn't smile enough.

He used to smile lots and lots- well, maybe not 'lots and lots', but a little. I think he used to be happy. Now, he's kind of… Umm. I don't know. Grumpy.

I guess he has a right to be a Mr. McGrumpyPants given what happened to our home- but moping about it won't make anything better, amrite? You have to smile. Smile smile smile like me, and do things with a bounce in your step~ Hop, step, jump!~ You know?

…Maybe you don't know.

It's kind of difficult being happy around a guy like Squally-face. Squall sucks warmth and love out of his surroundings like some fictional monster in a black robe that might quite possibly guard a wizard prison.

But I try~

I do my best.

And my breakfast was smiling for me, too, so that was like DOUBLE SMILING SUPER-HAPPY POWER right there!

It was a face. Two egg eyes, one yoke all runny and the other rock-hard (I'm not a homey picket-fence-and-net-curtains-stay-at-home kind of gal, okay? I'm a rockin' rockin' ninja and I'll steal your heart faster than blinking!~ If you want somebody who can cook go to Aerith).

Beans for hair.

And a bacon smiley face.

Hey, Squally, can't you feel the love I put into that artsy-foody picture? It probably tastes terrible, but can't you at least ~*~smile~*~? I'm tired of you being so mopey and depressed! Come on- if a rasher of bacon has more human kindness in it than you, you've got PROBLEMS, Mister!~

"…Yuffie," said Squall, after a small pause. "Why did you make this for me?"

"Gee, I dunno~ Maaayy~be because I'm your friend and I wanna cheer you up? You ever stop to think about that?"

Geez. He can be so dumb sometimes. Thick as Macalanian mud.

I rolled my eyes, bonking Squall over the head (no! Not his silky-shiny pretty boy hairrrr! I hear his legion of fangirls cry.

Hehe~ I'm not ~listeningggg~

It's like one thousand fangirls cried out in pain and then were silenced.)

"…" said Squall. I mean, if you can actually say a cluster of ellipses, which I don't think you can.

Basically, Squally was SILENT.

I was silent.

THE WHOLE WORLD WAS-

Well, maybe not.

But then… Something kinda-sorta miraculous happened.

Squall looked up at me.

(BTW, that wasn't the miraculous thing! It's not like I'm so hideous he can't stand to look at me! He looks at me all the time!)

just for a few moments… There was something other than ~DOOM~ and ~GLOOM~ and ~I MUST PROTECT EVERYONE WHILST ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE DOUCHENOZZLE AS IT IS ONLY HOW I CAN ATONEEEE~ on his face.

He looked… just a little…

U-um…

I don't want to go all gloopy-mushy-squishy-ninja on you here, but there was a spark of ~something~ on his face that… well…

He looked…

Happy.

For a grumpy guy who can't smile, I mean.

"Hey. Yuffie," he said, his voice soft and ~sensuous~ like burgundy velvet or a lion trapped in a cello case (yeah my similes are kind of weird aren't they? Haha!)

And I bent down and was all, "yeah, Squall?"

And…

He said…

"Thank you."

That was it.

Just 'thank you'.

No 'you're totally amazing and sexy and so much cuter than you were when you were seven and I was twelve and you were covered in bruises all the time and used to dig around in the dirt for pirate gold!'

It wasn't a movie and there wasn't romantic music or rose petals- which was good, 'cause I hate that stuff (sorry, Aerith! I promise I won't start sniggering next time we try to watch romcoms on a ~girly movie night~ okay? I'll paint your nails and braid your hair and everything!)

There wasn't any of that romantic crap.

Instead, there was a semi-smiling-but-not-really grumpy guy with shiny hair, a twitchy-nervy ninja who couldn't keep still, and a plate of rapidly congealing breakfast with a large bacon smile.

The damn bit of bacon had a wider smile than Squall's, I swear.

It wasn't much.

But…

I guess…

It was a start.

And I'd take it; file it away in my memory banks to look back on a later date whenever, shocker of shocks that ever hit Shock Street, /I/ got a little upset- because that does happen sometimes, you know.

But it's a lot easier to keep smiling when other people join in.

Squall.

And me.

And our happy rasher of bacon.


a/n: written for hev and lamatikah, both of whom claim I don't write for this fandom anymore… which I don't XD I think the last time I wrote for this fandom was like 3 years ago? :/
I still like Umineko and Vocaloid moaarrr though x3

~renahhchen xoxo