az: XD. Since Stay with Me triggered this. Added new scenes so that it could kinda stand alone even if you don't read SwM

Reach for you

Part 1 - Holding on to you

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi



He had to admit that he kind of panicked a bit when he did not see Honma anywhere. He knew that he should have headed out earlier to fetch Honma. Well, it was not like he could skip this morning's debriefing.

Yoda-san had told him that Honma would be released today and he had convinced the older man to let him pick his friend up instead. That deal with the president aside, he wanted to see Honma. Honma had avoided meeting him all this time so if he missed this chance, he might not be able to see him again.

He did not want Honma to leave without telling where he was going. If he had to take drastic measures to keep Honma by his side, he would not mind doing it if there was a slight chance where their friendship could be restored again.

It was a relief to have finally found him at the park, talking with a young boy. Kamiyama spared no moment to drag Honma to follow him back home.


Kamiyama glanced nervously at his old friend who was getting grumpier every minute as said man kept muttering things under his breath. Well, seeing that Saejima-san's presence did not help the situation much...

"Honma! Say something please! With you being so quiet... I'm worried about you—"

Honma suddenly laughed. "Hah! You... worried about me? Now that's special. Don't act so nice as if nothing happened between us all these years... and please stop this car! I want out!"

The car did not stop as Honma groaned loudly.

"Honma-kun... this is not a cab. You're coming with us regardless of what you think about it."

"Screw it! If you don't stop, I-I'll jump outta the car! Then—"

Kamiyama turned towards her in alarm as he tried to reach for Honma for fear of him doing justthat, but then Honma took a long pause before reaching to the door handle.

"What? You're still here? Not jumping off?"

Kamiyama tried to keep a straight face at her taunting as he watched Honma cautiously. Aside from relief to see that Honma not doing anything reckless—well, there's no telling what'll happen after all... Saejima-san was not driving that slow and they were now entering the main road!—a part of himself wondered about Honma's state of mind. Yoda-san had told him that his friend had at least gotten well enough while under custody—they had assigned a psychiatrist to help in Honma's recovery—but he cannot be sure how well Honma had been. Honma had refused visits from him, his father and everyone else spare Yoda-san while he was in his cell, so he was not really sure how Honma would react to seeing him again. He did not want Honma to disappear from his life, there were still so much that he wanted to make up for.

Not wanting to admit defeat, Honma snapped at Saejima. "And why are you here? Where's Yoda-san? What exactly did you want with me?"

Kamiyama sighed.

"Yoda-san's making the preparation for your return. You know... after that incident, he helped me a bit to find myself a place to stay. And I told him... since you're finally being released, you might as well live with me—"

"Like hell! Why're you dragging Yoda-san along? I can go back to my old place just f—"

"Can't do that. That apartment you've stayed before had already been emptied out and sold. Not that you had a lot of stuff there anyway..."

Honma gave him a look of alarm. "Why... you...!—"

And so, the rest of the trip went on a bit... lively.


"You know... I had enough of your nonsense last time. Don't think I'd bear with it this time, regardless what the doctors said—", Saejima exclaimed as Kamiyama placed a hand to stop her before turning towards his friend. Honma continued being silent before another person approached them.


Honma started to make a disagreeable face. He turned towards the older man accusingly.

"Why did you help these guys with their plans? I thought I said I don't want them to know that I got out... and I thought you were supposed to pick me up? I'm outta here..."

Honma started to come out of the car but before he could actually get so far, Yoda and Kamiyama grabbed him on both arms towards the elevator. Yoda muttered his apologies as they dragged him along. Honma turned around and glared at Saejima as she excused herself to park the car at the lot.

Things could not get any worse. But it did, unfortunately.

Honma stared at half of his former staff members who used to work with him during his last variety show, now sitting around the living room. To say that Honma was not pleased over this was a major understatement.

Before Takasugi could even open her mouth, Honma immediately bolted into the nearest room he could find and slammed the door behind him.

Everyone glanced at each other before Kamiyama let out a nervous laugh.

"Don't worry. Honma's probably just surprised..." he said before heading towards the room Honma just entered. Surprisingly, the door was not locked.


"Honma?" Kamiyama asked cautiously as Honma sat huddled at a corner of the room, head resting on his knees as he wrapped his arms around his legs.

"If you want to ask if I'm okay, I'm fine. You don't even need to ask if I'm mentally or emotionally stable right now. Okay... well, right now I can't really say I have my emotions checked. Why're you guys doing this to me?"

Kamiyama frowned. "Do what? We're not planning anything. We just thought... since you've finally out of the jail, we might be able to help out. You know... get you settled—"

"All I want right now is to be left alone. Even if I wanna return to Ginga TV and see you guys again, I will do it when I felt ready for it. I just wanted time for me to adjust myself. But then you just had to drop the bomb. Can't you leave me be... now?"

Kamiyama crept closer to Honma's side as he urged his friend to face him. Honma hastily wiped his face.

"Did you hate me Honma?"

Honma turned his eyes away from meeting Kamiyama's.

"Do I even have a right to hate you? Do I even hate anyone... including myself for what I did? I'm not even sure myself."

Kamiyama pulled Honma closer towards him.

"I don't hate you. And I'm sure the others feels the same as well. Honma, we all missed you. We want you back."

Honma laughed.

"Haha. Yeah right. As if you guys really meant it."

Kamiyama hugged him tighter.

"We do, stupid. You just didn't want to let yourself accept the truth. Come on, let's greet the others. It's been a while since you've seen them after all."