How Uchiha Sasuke Romanced Haruno Sakura
Summary: "Otousan? Romantic? PFFFF," Sousuke spat in disbelief. "You're as romantic as a hippo," added Kimiko dryly. "So Otouchan is a hippo?" Kenji quipped. Uchiha Sasuke smirked. It was about time his kids learned how he romanced their mother, Haruno Sakura.
Okay, I swear, people, I always do this: I challenge myself by writing a serious drama, realize I need some happiness in my life, and proceed to write a happy story as a side project. EVERY. FREAKING. TIME. It's a bad habit, but maybe I can manage this time since it's summer? I swear, this story was very instantaneous like "Stubborn." I have NO idea where it's gonna lead but this will be easier since it won't be very plot-driven. In my head, this story was meant to be something that is based on character's actions and runs on it.
Now the premises? Well, I love writing stories where people tell flashbacks to each other, which slowly becomes a whole tale tied together. Think of this story format similar to "How I Met Your Mother" TV show. I also did the same thing for my stories "The Way We Are" and "The Tale of the Raven and the Flower" so if you guys have read that story, it's going to be the same style. This time, it's just different story and characters. This story will balance between the future, where the Konoha 12 have kids, and the present when they talk about Sasuke's and Sakura's relationship. I'm not going to tag this as drama or comedy since it can go either way, so it's labeled Romance simply for that reason. Most likely it'll lean towards comedy because it's very natural for me to write, but anything can happen. This isn't meant to keep you on the edge with a cliffy (Which I LOVE doing); it's mainly stories tied together.
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this as well! My main focus will still be "Stubborn" but I'm also doing this because I had the urge and had to release it through writing. Hopefully, I'll be fine since I've balanced different stories as part of the journalism staff, but those were small stories; fanfiction can take a while. Let's cross my fingers and pray for the best!
By the way, how many of you guys actually read my author's notes? Just curious. Because I feel like a loser when I write these LOL
"Oi, Kimiko, why do we have to deal with this now?" Seventeen-year-old Sousuke scowled. "It's more than a week away."
"It's only a week away, nissan! That's barely enough time!" Kimiko, his sixteen-year-old sister, yelled with her hands on her hips. "Actually, we needed at least a month considering this is otousan we're talking about!"
"Oneechan, what's wrong with otouchan?" asked Kenji, the youngest of them all at five years old, curiously. "Is he sick?"
Kimiko laughed haughtily. "Oh yeah, he's sick with the inability to do anything sweet to okaasan!"
Sousuke moaned impatiently, his eyes changing its attention to the sky lazily. "Well, Kimi, I think it's sweet enough that 'tousan and 'kaasan still do it every weekend-OW! WOMAN HOW DARE YOU ATTACK YOUR FAVORITE BRO-"
Immediately, he gulped at the sight of his sister's red eyes, glaring at him darkly. Here they were, discussing on what to do for their parents' anniversary. To anybody else, this process wouldn't be too hard. All they had to do was make breakfast for their parents, say congratulations, bake a cake, and give them alone time.
Except, these three did not have normal parents. Their mother was the top medic-nin in Konohagakure, if not the whole world, who was also head of the village hospital. Their father was the head ANBU captain, under direct control of the Sixth Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto. Busy people, their parents were. It was amazing that they ever found quality time with their kids, let alone each other. In fact, their parents did not want much from their kids on their anniversary; only the basics.
The basics where their parents preferred if Sousuke, Kimiko, and Kenji didn't come in their room the morning of their anniversary. No, correction: their parents preferred if they didn't come in their room any morning.
Kenji, however, blinked several times in confusion. "Ne, ne, what do otouchan and okaachan do every weekend at night?" He asked, hugging his bunny plush toy even tighter.
Sousuke laughed nervously. "They do 'Mommy and Daddy' things, Kenji! It's nothing serious! Haha!"
He rubbed the bruise slowly forming on his pale forehead, courtesy of his sister's monster strength.
There were just some things he didn't understand how Kimiko could inherit only the dangerous traits of their mother. Sousuke and the rest of his siblings looked practically nothing to their mother, who had beautiful pink hair and jade green eyes. The rest of them had jet-black hair, pale skin, and dark eyes that only changed red upon the Sharingan. Even then, the only one that actually resembled the father perfectly was the youngest, Kenji. As a girl, Kimiko had long black hair, immediately taking her out. While Sousuke's hair was short and spiky, Kenji's spiraled everywhere in the back like a chicken's behind. Exactly like their father.
Like their mother, his sister Kimiko could be quite ferocious when angered. It only looked worse when she had her Sharingan activated, a terrible combination of his parents' genes. Sousuke sighed. She was only a year younger than him and yet Sousuke thought Kimiko used the Sharingan more times in a week than Sousuke ever had in his lifetime. She really did take advantage of their family's infamous kekkei gekkai.
"Look, why can't we just let them do what they do every anniversary? They seem perfectly happy about it," said Sousuke, leaning back against the chair comfortably. "Plus, it takes the edge off of us."
"Because it's not just any anniversary; it's their 20th anniversary, niisan!" Kimiko exclaimed. "The big 2-0!"
"I thought people celebrate big at 25th, 50th, 1000th-"
"WHATEVER! THEY NEED IT NOW! We need to give them a special moment in their lives!"
"Like give them a door locks so we know when they're gonna do it in order for us to escape the house even faster-" Sousuke stopped again upon Kimiko's glare. Added with the Sharingan again. God, he felt like such a coward, being scared of his younger sister.
"Niisan, we have to do something super romantic for them," Kimiko insisted. "You know otousan sucks at these."
Sousuke paused for a moment, staring blankly at the ceiling, his mouth gawking. A few seconds later, he recovered and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he does suck."
Puffing his cheeks like a blowfish, Kenji pouted. "Otouchan does not suck. He's the Hokage's strongest ninja! He can do anything!"
"You only say that because you're otousan's favorite," Kimiko muttered bitterly. "When you get older, you're gonna realize that otousan fails in terms of romance."
"I bet you won't say that when Otouchan's here!" Kenji yelled childishly.
Sousuke laughed. "PLEASE! Do you really think we're scared of that old man-?"
"What old man?" A deep voice snarled behind Sousuke.
Sousuke squeaked like a mouse, scurrying away from the armchair to the other side of the living room. Upon watching his son run away in fear, Uchiha Sasuke couldn't help but smirk victoriously at his firstborn. Sasuke was still in his ANBU attire, the black tank and pants, in addition to the gray armor, the boots, and the mask hanging loosely in his hands. One of his hands rested on the hilt of his Kusunagi calmly, causing Sousuke to gulp in fear should his father's grip on the sword tighten and swing at him. The ANBU captain AKA their father had returned home.
"So what are you dweebs up to?" Sasuke interrogated them-ANBU captain style.
Giggling uncontrollably, Kenji ran up to his father, hugging Sasuke's strong legs. "Otouchan! Welcome home!"
Sasuke chuckled. Quickly, he lifted his five-year-old son into his arms, ruffling the boy's hair. "I'm sorry: What were you dweebs and the best little boy in the world up to?" Sasuke corrected teasingly, earning another laugh from Kenji.
Both Sousuke and Kimiko cringed uncomfortably.
"I don't get it; Kenji can't even throw a kunai, trips on flat ground, cries every time he doesn't have his stupid bunny," Sousuke complained.
"Yet is still his favorite," Kimiko finished bitterly.
"That's because Kenji still loves me," Sasuke stated coolly, tickling Kenji into a giggling fit. "Unlike you angsty, stupid, spoiled, bratty, teenagers who hate me for everything I do to you two. But really, what are you guys up to?"
Kimiko turned around, arms crossed against her chest. "None of your business, geezer."
"39 does not make me a 'geezer,'" Sasuke replied to his daughter, annoyed.
He observed both Sousuke's and Kimiko's expression, deducting their plans from it. His two teenagers exchanged secret smirks, a rarity in his family. They refused to look at Sasuke in the eye, suggesting it was meant to be kept a secret. He glanced at the calendar hanging by the window, noticing a giant circle during the month. He traced backwards from the circle to today's date: A week before the circled date. He turned to Kenji, the youngest, who currently occupied himself with his favorite bunny toy, Pochi. It was likely that Kenji had no exact idea of what was going on. This was only expected if...realization hit. Sasuke frowned.
"You guys are going to ruin my anniversary."
Both Sousuke and Kimiko released identical snickers.
"PLEASE POPS, WE'RE SAVING IT WITH OUR BEAUTIFUL PLAN!" Sousuke hollered.
"So you guys are gonna ruin it," Sasuke stated sourly.
Kimiko sighed annoyingly. "Oh come on, otousan! Let us do you a favor since you are oblivious to how you fail at being romantic with okaasan!"
Sasuke scoffed. "I do not fail at being romantic with your mother."
"Oh yeah? Show us how romantic you are with okaasan," Sousuke demanded, smirking.
"Well, it would involve your mother coming home, me ripping her clothes off, pinning her to our bed, touching her in very nice places-"
"EW! WHAT KIND OF SICK BASTARD ARE YOU?" Sousuke cried, shielding his ears and eyes from the horrible images he heard and now couldn't help but imagine on instinct.
"Her moaning so loud that Sunagakure knows my name-"
"KEEP YOUR COCK IN YOUR PANTS FOR ONCE, YOU PERVERTED OLD MAN!" Kimiko screeched, her face blushing in embarrassment.
Sasuke grinned evilly at his teenage kids, always knowing how to hit their nerves in the right places. Kenji, however, was innocently playing with Pochi the bunny, completely ignoring the little sneak peek of his parents' sex lives thanks to Sasuke. God, how Sasuke loved this kid. He could make so many perverted jokes with Sousuke and Kimiko, embarrassing them to no end, and Kenji would be cute and naive about everything.
"If you want to be good children, then don't do anything for me and your mother on our anniversary except watch Kenji while you guys are out of the house the whole day," Sasuke suggested calmly. "I prefer you guys don't return until...the morning after."
Sousuke and Kimiko nearly gagged.
"Mou otousan! You're never romantic with okaasan, so we're gonna help you with it!" Kimiko exclaimed. "I see my friends' parents holding hands in the park, buying flowers for each other, having date nights, and-"
"I bet your friends' parents don't have nights as good as we do-"
"ENOUGH! WE GET THAT YOU AND OKAASAN HAVE A VERY WILD SEX LIFE!" Sousuke yelled, beyond pissed. "SEX DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE ROMANTIC!"
"Otouchan, what's sex?" Kenji asked innocently.
"Oi, you brat! Don't talk about bad things like that in front of your little brother!" Sasuke lectured at Sousuke, secretly priding himself at his manipulation.
Sousuke glared at his father, but only scowled. Only a man like Uchiha Sasuke would be cruel enough to manipulate his own son at the cost of another.
"Besides, why do you guys believe that I'm terrible at romance?" Sasuke inquired, sitting down on his armchair, Kenji still on his lap. "You're mother and I have been peacefully married for nearly 20 years. Why does that make me suck?"
"Because you and okaasan never have date nights," Kimiko started sternly.
"You guys never kiss in front of us," Sousuke added.
"You never buy her gifts except on her birthday."
"Which you forget every year."
"You don't have lunch with her."
"You've never made dinner for her."
"Not even on Mother's Day."
"Or your anniversary."
"You give terrible dating advices."
"Don't blame me for your low dating life that puts the Uchiha name to shame, boy."
"You told me NOTHING about girls."
"You've never given her any actual presents."
"Except that cursed engagement ring for lord knows why she ever accepted it."
"You idiots wouldn't exist if it weren't for that engagement ring," Sasuke frowned.
"You never do couples activities."
"You guys don't cuddle."
"You guys never do PDA."
"Never dance with her."
"Never do chores for her."
"Are you two done yet?" Sasuke complained. "Who needs romance when your mother and I save it all for our bedroom-"
"NO IT IS NOT!" Kimiko cried.
"Love's more than just fooling around on your king size bed!" Sousuke stated, before his eyes widened in horror. "OH GOD NOW I KNOW WHY THE BED IS SO HUGE!"
"Kenji, please don't turn out like your big brother," Sasuke said in a bored tone to his youngest.
"SHUT UP! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"Look here," Sasuke began, gaining his children's attention. "As difficult it is to believe, there was a time when I was dating your mother that our bedroom adventures did not exist."
Sousuke's and Kimiko's jaw dropped to the floor. Sasuke had a sweat drop. They really were, genuinely, surprised.
"It was a time when I did simple things to make her believe I was the most romantic man in her world...at the time."
"So why aren't you so 'romantic' anymore?" Kimiko asked, staring down at her father.
"Let's just say that romance was shattered quite a flong time ago," Sasuke answered, slightly irritated.
"How long?" Sousuke asked.
Sasuke paused for a moment, pondering on Sousuke's question. He looked at Kenji, who stared back curiously with his big, black orbs. Then, Sasuke turned to his eldest, Sousuke, staring intensely.
"Sousuke..." Sasuke began. "...How old are you?"
Sousuke glared. "Very funny, otousan."
Sasuke chuckled before resuming his story. "Even though it was difficult at first, trust me when I say that I was damn romantic with your mother back then. And that was why she decided to marry me."
"Otousan? Romantic? PFFF," Sousuke scoffed.
"You're as romantic as a hippo," added Kimiko dryly.
"So otouchan is a hippo?" Kenji quipped.
Sasuke smirked. It was about time his kids learned how he romanced their mother, Haruno Sakura.
I hope you guys liked it! Yes, Sasuke is acting a bit OOC (God, pervy adult Sasuke, what am I thinking?) But he only does it to annoy his kids. Plus, he's a lot older and married, so we have to expect some kind of change. Otherwise, in his youth, I'm going to keep him relatively the same in the manga/anime. Is it gonna be hard trying to make him romantic and keep in character? Yes, but I'll try. He'll probably end up as a closet romantic, but we'll see. I really need to stop making stories at the instant and actually plan them; it's not good for me.
Anyway, please read and review! I'll appreciate it very much!
PS: Have you guys realized Harry Potter is a cock-blocker in his own series? I mean, in the movies, when Ron and Hermoine have these semi-cute moments in early ones, Harry just JUMPS in and it's not romantic anymore. I saw a tumblr post on it and thought it was really funny. It's probably gonna be Naruto in his own if SasuSaku actually happens. Let's pray for it with Kishimoto!