Chapter 3: Pinocchio's New Glasses

About thirty to forty minutes later, the bus came to a stop in front of the eye doctor. Geppetto and Pinocchio, along with several others, got off the bus and went into the office. Unknown to Geppetto and Pinocchio, Lampwick followed them!


"Okay, Geppetto, sit down, and the doctor will be with you and your son shortly," the receptionist said cheerfully as she took the form with Pinocchio's medical history on it.

"Thank you," said Geppetto. He took Pinocchio, and the two sat and waited patiently for the doctor to come.

"Father, do I really have to get glasses?" Pinocchio asked. "I'll look like a dork. Can't I get contacts instead?"

"We'll see, my little Pinocchio," said Geppetto.

"Hey!" the receptionist yelled at Lampwick, who was doing a jig on the desk. "Sit down, kid!"

"No way," Lampwick said and stuck his tongue out at the woman. Pinocchio face palmed when he saw his friend being…well, himself.

The receptionist looked like she wanted to tear her hair out and strangle Lampwick at the same time. "If you don't get off this fucking desk, I'll—!"

Geppetto looked really ticked off. "Alright, that's it!" He went up to the receptionist's desk. "Excuse me, may I use your phone?"

"Go right ahead," said the receptionist. Lampwick was still dancing a jig, then started doing the Moonwalk. "WILL YOU STOP THAT?"

Lampwick finally jumped down. "Alright, alright, sheesh. Uptight chick." He plopped down next to Pinocchio and pouted. "So, Squinty, when's the doc comin'?"

"Don't call me Squinty," said Pinocchio.

Geppetto dialed the number to Stefania's cell and waited two rings for her to answer.

"Hello?" Stefania said. Geppetto could hear the sounds of Rina and Gilberto shouting playfully, and Eufemia babbling incoherently, trying to form words.

"Hello, Stefania? This is Geppetto, Pinocchio's father," said Geppetto.

"Geppetto, what's wrong? You sound angry," said Stefania. "No, no, Gilberto, don't eat that bug, honey." Gilberto could be heard babbling in protest as Stefania presumably took his newest find away. "Sorry about that. Now, what's going on?"

"Your son, Romeo, is here, at the eye doctor," said Geppetto.

"What?" Stefania asked. "He's not in school? That kid…"

"Yes, he's here, and skipping school," said Geppetto. "He's bothering me and Pinocchio."

"Romeo…" Stefania said tiredly. "Okay, I'll come get him. Thanks for telling me. See you later."

"Thank you," said Geppetto. "Bye." He hung up and thanked the receptionist for letting him use the phone. Then he sat back down with Pinocchio.

"Hey, jackass, you're not supposed to be here," Jiminy scolded Lampwick. "You should be in school."

"I'm not a donkey, beetle!" said Lampwick.

"This is just like the time you, Alexander, and Pinocchio tried to sneak into the state fair wearing a donkey costume!" said Jiminy.

"Whatever," said Lampwick.


"Lampy, are you sure this will work?" Pinocchio asked as he, Alexander, and Lampwick approached the ticket stand wearing a donkey costume.

"Of course it will," Lampwick said confidently.

"Why do I have to be the butt?" asked Pinocchio.

"Because I'm taller than you," said Lampwick.

"It's hot back here," said Alexander, who was in the middle.

"Quiet!" Lampwick whispered. He, Alexander, and Pinocchio were at the ticket stand. "One ticket, please."

"Okay," said the ticket stand guy. Just then, Pinocchio sneezed. "Hey, your ass just sneezed. And donkeys don't talk! No, no, none of this is adding up at all!"

'Dammit, Pinokey,' Lampwick thought as he and his two friends were literally chased off the fairgrounds.


"Pinocchio?" the doctor said.

"Come on, son," said Geppetto. He and Pinocchio followed the doctor into an exam room, where the doctor looked at Pinocchio's eyes and asked him questions about several slides. Then, after the exam was done, the doctor wrote a prescription for Pinocchio.

"Okay, Pinocchio, you'll need glasses," said the doctor. "Eventually, you'll be able to get contacts, but for right now, I want to get used to wearing glasses."

"Okay," said Pinocchio.

"You'll be able to pick out the glasses you want," the doctor added.

"Thank you, doctor," said Geppetto. "Have a good day." he and Pinocchio left the doctor's office and headed out the door. Lampwick followed. Geppetto looked back and saw the boy. "Why are you still here?"

"Hey, c'mon, old man," said Lampwick. "I just wanna hang with my buddy."


Geppetto and Pinocchio headed to Wal-Mart and went to the Vision Center, where Pinocchio picked out his new glasses.

"Wow, those look good on you, Pinoch," said Jiminy.

"Really? Thanks, Jiminy!" said Pinocchio. He and his father walked out of Wal-Mart. Pinocchio was brimming with confidence about his new glasses. But the moment was short-lived, because…

"What the heck…?" Lampwick asked, laughing hysterically. "Oh my God, what the heck are those? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, geez, you're killing me, Pinokey! You're killing me!" Lampwick followed Geppetto and Pinocchio farther, until his mother pulled up.

Stefania beeped the car horn. "Romeo!" She looked stern when she called her son's name.

Lampwick looked at the car and its driver, then gulped. "Uh…hi, Ma…"

"Romeo, get in the car right now," said Stefania.

"No," said Lampwick. He crossed his arms and shook his head.

"That's it," said Stefania. She got out and pulled Lampwick's ear, making him go to the car.

"Ow, Ma! That's my ear! I need that for hearing! Ma!" Lampwick yelled.

"Thanks for picking him up," said Geppetto.

"No problem," said Stefania. She looked tired when she let go of Lampwick's ear and spoke to him. "Romeo, please don't do this today. Your father had to get a stick removed from his butt at the proctologist."

Lampwick mumbled "Sorry", then got in the car. Stefania got in the driver seat. "Sorry about this, Geppetto. Bye." She drove Lampwick to school.


Geppetto and Pinocchio took the bus back home, once again listening to the Coachman telling people to be quiet, and Stromboli cursing in Italian because of his butt not fitting in the bus. They also ignored Honest John calling Pinocchio "Four-Eyes". Pinocchio later learned that Lampwick was grounded for a week because of skipping school and bothering people for the heck of it.


Author's Note: This is the final chapter of this story. Stay tuned for my sequel, Lampy's Braces.