Hello everybody! This is my first fanfiction for Mark and Lexie. My favorite Grey's couple by far. As always an idea popped into my head and I had to put it on paper. Usually I need some time to get into the characters. So this is only me sticking one toe carefully into unknown water. So I quote Mark here. I'm still learning. I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them.
Chapter 1: The elevator
Not again. Mark stopped dead in his tracks only one step inside of the elevator when he looked up from his iPhone to greet the other person who was already standing in a corner of the cabin. Her brown eyes locked with his causing him to hold his breath when he felt like someone just punched him in his gut. He had avoided such situations over the last two months. He didn't want to be alone with her. He didn't trust himself around her.
But as he turned around determined to leave her alone the doors shut in front of his eyes. He inwardly cursed. They were trapped in the elevator. Again. But this time he remained at the doors. His eyes were glued to the metal in front of him. He tried to concentrate on something else to block out that she was standing only a few feet away from him. Mark clenched his teeth until they started to hurt biting his tongue until he tasted blood to avoid spilling his feelings out to her. She didn't want to hear them and he promised.
Lexie was staring at his back. She could see how tense his shoulders were how uncomfortable he felt alone with her in the elevator. She couldn't blame him. She made it clear that he shouldn't follow her anymore. Actually she plainly told him to stop caring about her. This was the first time in two months that they were alone in a room together. That it was the elevator was fitting considering the last time they found themselves in this particular situation.
As the air in the cabin was growing thicker and thicker with tension by each passing second Mark's back in front of her suddenly triggered something in her photographic memory and a conversation with Meredith popped into her head. Totally inappropriate right now. Mark didn't even want to talk to her. A shiver ran down her spine as she imagined Mark and herself engaging in such an encounter.
She straightened when she realized how wrong it was to even think about it. She didn't have the right for such thoughts and she tried to ignore the warm feeling it caused in her. But she couldn't stand the silence any longer and took this chance for an opening well aware that she was playing with fire not exactly certain why she couldn't resist and what was even more confusing she didn't want to resist.
Mark suppressed the urge to tap with his foot impatiently on the ground. His head started to pound because of the taut muscles between his shoulders. He wanted to get out of here before he would do something he would regret afterwards. What made it even worse was the fact that he could smell her. He silently breathed in deeply overwhelmed by the rush of memories her scent evoked in him. Struggling to hold his emotions in check he begged the elevator silently to move faster to the fifth floor. But when they reached the first floor he suddenly heard Lexie's voice behind him.
"Has Derek ever told you about what happened between Meredith and him in the elevator?"
Mark slowly turned around looking at her astounded not quite sure if she had really asked him a question or if he just imagined it. But she looked straight into his eyes and he couldn't avoid that his heart skipped a beat. He had stayed true to his words even if it almost killed him. He had let her go.
On a personal level he had ignored her the last two months. From the moment she left him in front of the vending machine he was only her teacher. Nothing more. But it was damn hard to stay professional when she looked at him with these dark brown eyes. Not to mention that she still admired him as a surgeon. She always had; already from the beginning and she said it so herself when she surprised him in his hotel room. The memories were overflowing his brain but he shut them down before he would grab her and throw her at the wall breaking the promise he had given her. Taking in a deep breath he concentrated on the question she asked him remembering only one conversation with Derek about the elevator.
"The proposal? Yes, he did."
Mark had no idea why she asked him such a strange question but judging by the frown that appeared between her brows she was talking about something else entirely.
"No. Not the proposal. I mean when they were talking about ferry boats, about sexual harassment and drawing a line. I'm sure he talked about it to you. But maybe he didn't. Because back then you weren't speaking to each other because of Addison. Maybe he didn't mention it to you. Even though you are best friends and should have talked about it. But maybe Derek forgot to mention it. It was before Addison returned and wanted him back. Before you came to Seattle."
Mark looked utterly confused while Lexie was rambling away as usual. But even now when he had no clue what the whole conversation was about he felt a tug at his heart. She was beautiful when she was in one of her rambling fits. He hadn't told her that it was one of the main reasons he had fallen in love with her and he wouldn't say it out loud because it sounded crazy. But he was in love with a Grey and craziness was considered normal regarding the female part of this family. Alone the fact of loving a Grey could get you into the psych ward. Derek would agree with him wholeheartedly. Before he lost his train of thought completely Mark hold up one hand stopping Lexie in midsentence intent to find out what she was really talking about.
"What are you talking ..." But then it suddenly dawned on him and even though he tried to suppress the grin he couldn't help himself when he remembered what Derek told him about this infamous elevator ride. "Oh, that one." Involuntarily his last sentence sounded somehow seductively. He blamed the pictures that popped up in his head when he finally realized that she was talking about the kiss. And he wasn't thinking about Meredith and Derek. He had a clear picture in his head of Lexie. Her legs wrapped around his waist. He shook his head to get rid of this particular picture trying to stay focused on the conversation hoping that his face didn't show his thoughts.
Lexie averted her gaze to the ground suddenly scolding herself that she brought up the subject. She should have kept her mouth shut. Just for once. She was walking on thin ice here. There was no denying that her question somehow shifted the mood entirely. With only three words in this incredible husky tone the uncomfortable silence from just a minute ago was replaced by sexual tension.
The walls she had built around her heart started to crack and there was no way she could stop it. She feared to look up, feared to meet his gaze certain that it would only destroy the last bits of her will power to stay away from him. She shifted tensely from one foot to another prolonging the inevitable. Seeing her that nervous caused Mark's smile to broaden even further. She would possibly flat out deny it but the sexual attraction was as strong as ever. But before she looked up he managed to put on a straight face. He wouldn't make it that easy for her.
When Lexie looked into his eyes her heart began to flutter. She was surprised that she was still able to form words not to mention speaking them out loud without the slightest hint of her inner turmoil tinting her voice. "Yeah. That one." Lexie knew she wouldn't last long and when she saw that a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth a sudden heat wave shot straight to her core.
"Why did you bring it up?" He put his hand in his pockets trying to look casually as if he wasn't really interested in her answer. But he couldn't ignore the small flame of hope that was rising in his chest.
"I don't know." Lexie felt like a deer caught in the headlights. She was questioned her sanity. Maybe she should have stayed in the psych ward considering the mess she had dragged herself into. She asked him to stay away from her and now she was the one who started it again.
"You don't know? You mean you did find it too quiet in here so you wanted to share with me the first thing that came to your mind?" The smirk on his face grew wider and his eyes began to sparkle with amusement.
"Something like that." Lexie gulped hard. Mark's smile made her tingle in all the right places or wrong places depending on whether she wanted them to tingle or not. She hadn't decided yet.
"And the first thing that came to your mind was Derek and Meredith?" Lexie knew that he only wanted to tease her. It made her aware how much she missed the banter they had engaged so often in the past especially at the beginning of their relationship when they sneaked around in the hospital. Lexie let her gaze drop again not wanting Mark to see the longing in her eyes before she replied with an unsure voice.
"It's not that strange. After all she is my sister and he my brother-in-law. Isn't he?"
"Right!" Mark took one step further into her direction before he leaned against the wall only a few feet away from her. "But why mention to me this episode of their relationship? We are standing in an elevator right now."
Lexie could hear how much he enjoyed this but hearing him stating the obvious made her want to smack him. "Of course I know that we are standing in an elevator right now. I'm not stupid. Well, not that stupid. Or so I hope." Lexie muttered to herself before she looked up again seeing Mark leaning at the wall.
The sudden rush of desire that shot through her almost knocked her flat in front of his feet. She had been always attracted to him but when he let her go for real it only backfired. Lexie thought she could forget him but now he seemed even sexier. If he wouldn't look that sexy it would have been easier to suppress the feelings she didn't want to feel anymore. But of course he was McSteamy. No woman could resist him. She knew exactly what was hidden under the scrubs. Her hands were itching to touch the smooth muscles of his chest and six pack following the hairline over his stomach until it disappeared beneath his pants. She snapped her eyes back to his face when she caught herself staring at his midsection. "Where was I?"
"You and me. Standing in an elevator together." Of course Mark was well aware what her wandering eyes meant. After all they had been a couple for a fairly amount of time and he knew this look. She even licked her lips making him almost forget that he let her go. He wanted nothing more than to lift her up in his arms and to kiss her. But she had to make the first move. She had to choose to come back to him. Not the other way around.
"Right." She paused and licked her lips again causing him to clench his hands into fists in his pockets because the urge to close the space between them was almost overpowering him. It took all his strength to withstand as the well known desire rushed through his veins. She aroused him only by standing there. But it was always like that with her. He only needed to see her up close and almost lost control. He had never felt like that with another woman and he was fairly sure there would never be any other woman who could make him feel that way. Nonetheless he was able to speak to her in a nonchalant voice as if she didn't affect him in any way.
"I'm asking you again. Why did you bring it up?"
"You really want to hear me say it? You know what I'm talking about but you won't say it out loud? You're unbelievable." Lexie paced in front of him while she emphasized every word with exasperated movements of her hands. "Why am I the one who have to do it? But it's all your fault. You with your eyes that burn down all my clothes only by staring at me. When you look at me I feel always naked. Not that I would mind so much. I mean when we were together. I did mind when I was together with Jackson. Of course, I did."
That got his attention immediately. Of course it flattered his manly ego that he was able to drive her crazy with only looking at her and he was guilty as charged. He undressed her with his eyes on many occasions when they were together and even a few times when they were separated. But why was she talking about Jackson in the past tense? Did he miss something? Weren't they together anymore? The flame of hope in his chest grew stronger with this new information but he had to be sure.
"Wait." Mark hadn't even realized that he approached her when he put a finger to her lips to stop her from rambling further. They locked eyes and remembered the last time he put his finger to her lips in the same manner. Lexie's eyes got soft when she recollected his face still bruised because of the fight he had with Derek. Because of her. Mark wasn't immune to the memories either. He meant it back then and it was still true now. She was the one who put him back together. Without her something was missing. He cleared his throat to get a grip on his feelings but this time his voice betrayed him because he wasn't able to keep his emotions out of it and he didn't really care at the moment if she could hear how much her answer would mean to him. "When you were together with Jackson?"
Only then Lexie realized what she involuntarily spilled out. She only broke up with Jackson a few days ago and until now no one knew about it. But she wasn't able to lie to Mark. Especially when he looked at her with those blue eyes that seemed to touch her soul without even trying.
"We broke up."
Lexie shuddered slightly when she admitted to herself for the first time since the baby fiasco that she fooled herself. She would never be able to love someone else as she loved him. It wasn't only the sex. Even if the sex was mind-blowingly fantastic. Of course sometimes love wasn't enough. She had heard that often enough and she even believed it. But now after months in which Mark almost ignored her and treated her as any other resident she couldn't deny it any longer.
She meant it when she told him that she would always love him. But she lied to him and herself when she told him that he wasn't able to make her happy. Because the truth was that she wasn't able to be happy without him. She tried but failed miserably.
It needed another man to cast the first doubts. What made it even worse was the fact that her own boyfriend told her. Actually she wasn't the one who broke up with him. It was Jackson who asked her again if they should stay in a relationship when she clearly was still in love with Mark. He exploded when he caught her one day staring longingly at Mark. Again. She wasn't even aware that she watched Mark. She stayed in denial and they had a big fight about it which ended their relationship. And now she was standing here in the elevator with Mark and she felt more alive than in months. It scared her but it also made the decision easier what she wanted to do next.
Lexie took in a deep breath before she stepped away from him. Mark closed his eyes briefly when she moved out of his sight. It still hurt like hell. He thought he was done with this but she was still able to raise hope in him one second crushing it in the next. But when he felt the elevator stop he opened his eyes immediately and before he could turn around he felt her hand at his back. She trailed her fingers up his spine and when he reached his neck she whispered in a husky voice that made him trembling.
"Turn around, Mark."
He tried desperately to not hope for something that might not happen and so he pushed his hands in the wall to stop them from shaking violently before he responded with a chocked voice.
"Because I want to see your face."
Lexie took a step askew so that she was standing next to him. She raised her hand and trailed her finger along his jaw.
Mark was never able to resist her. Not in the past and not now. Especially when she touched him. So he turned around to face her.
"You ask me why I mentioned Derek and Meredith. Well, because as I was standing behind you watching your back I remembered a conversation Meredith and I had about her first elevator ride with Derek. Suddenly I felt the same way I imagine Meredith felt back then." Mark raised his eye brows in question. "She wasn't able to resist Derek's charm."
"She kissed him. I know. Derek told me. But what has this to do with us?"
"Easy. I can't resist either."
"Resist what? Throwing me at the wall and kissing me senseless?" Lexie blushed and let her gaze and her hand fall to his chest. "You can imagine that I find this hard to believe. Especially because you told me only two months ago that I should stop. I let you go, Lexie. You walked away."
She could feel his heart pounding under her fingers and spread out her hand to feel how his muscles tensed under her palm. "I know what I said. But yes that's exactly what I wanted to do."
"And now?" Mark put a finger under her chin and lifted her face until their eyes met.
"What now?" Lexie asked innocently.
"Do you still want to kiss me?"
His face was only a few inches away and she could see the desire burning in his steel blue eyes. Lexie couldn't answer. She was beyond words. Talking was overrated sometimes. She knew they had to talk. But now in that moment she only wanted to feel his lips on hers again. Nothing more. She trailed her hands up his chest along his throat and caressed his scruff with her fingers. Her knees almost buckled when she felt his beard under her fingers again. She had missed this feeling. She had missed him so much. She rose on her feet and pressed her lips against his cheek. Mark closed his eyes relishing the feeling of her lips on him.
When she heard him calling her like that she fell hard. Again. Harder as before. She fell in love with him again. So fast that it made her dizzy and she'd almost torn up when she thought about the time they wasted because of her stubbornness to acknowledge how wonderful the love was they shared and that it was worth fighting for. Then he said it again. Her name. No one else could stir up so many emotions in her only by saying her name.
She was lost. She crushed her lips on his pressing her body into him. This kiss was nothing like the one they shared in Joe's bar. She hadn't expected that one. It had been sweet and soft. This one was full of passion. Passion they both bottled up for months. Full of anger and frustration because they wasted so much time. Mark turned her around and smashed her into the wall increasing the pressure of his lips on hers. His tongue stroked hers in a frantic pace and he pushed his hips into her making her groan when she felt his erection against her stomach.
But suddenly Mark stopped and she winced loudly. He stepped back and Lexie opened her eyes slowly. Her whole body was screaming for him. But when she looked at his face she knew immediately that something was wrong and it felt as if he poured a bucket with cold water over her head.
"Mark?" Lexie could see it clearly how he backed away from her emotionally. It was as if he closed a shutter directly in front of her. Shutting her out completely.
Mark took in several deep breaths trying to regain his composure. He had forgotten for several minutes why they broke up. Why Lexie couldn't get away from him fast enough. He had a daughter. With Callie and Lexie didn't want to be a mother. The reasons they broke up where still there. Nothing had changed.
"We can't do this." Mark couldn't look into her eyes. He knew he had to do the right thing but that didn't mean that he didn't almost tear himself into two pieces by pushing her away.
"What?" All the heat that had rushed through Lexie only a few seconds ago drained out of her. It was replaced by a cold that she feared would never leave her again.
"Rushing into this again. I have a daughter now, Lexie. She needs me. I can't risk it."
"Risk what?" Numbness overwhelmed her body. She missed her chance. It was too late.
"My heart. You crushed it twice. I don't think it can survive a third time."
Mark stepped forward switching the button to start the elevator again and slumped into a corner. Lexie stood in front of him. Momentarily speechless. Mark rejected her. She felt sick. She knew she deserved it but that didn't make it any easier. She gulped hard and turned around. Before they reached the fifth floor she spoke, her face still towards the doors.
"The kiss between them certainly didn't end that way."
When the elevator doors opened Lexie almost jumped out of it. Meredith and Derek stood at the nurse station looking both up when they heard Mark shouting after her.
"When I recall it correctly they didn't stop the elevator either."
Lexie unaware of the presence of her sister and brother-in-law hurried down the corridor mumbling to herself when she passed them. "No. They didn't stop the elevator back then." When she almost was around the corner her voice was carried back to them. "Damn. But I should seriously draw a line though."
Derek and Meredith looked stunned at each other before they turned their gazes back to the elevator and saw Mark coming out of it with a frown on his face before he walked away in the opposite direction. They looked from him to the corner Lexie had disappeared around only a few moments ago. It only took them a few seconds to make the right conclusion and when they both turned around to each other they spoke up at the same time.
"Oh no, they didn't just ..."
"I think they did …"
They both stopped in midsentence and chuckled simultaneously. Meredith shook her head in disbelief but Derek was the one who voiced both their thoughts.
"I think they repeated our first encounter in the elevator." A big smile erupted on his face.
"I think so too. Maybe they have still a chance. The elevator surely can have a positive effect on a relationship." Meredith smiled back at her husband remembering all of their elevator moments.
"Two big milestones of our lives definitely happened in there." Derek put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into an embrace.
"I have to go." Meredith mumbled into his chest.
"Me too. I have to talk to Mark." Derek bent back slightly and looked into her eyes seeing the same determination in them as he was just feeling. They would get to the bottom of this. Mark and Lexie would have to wrap up warmly. He and his wife were on a mission. The mission to help his best friend and her half sister to get back together. If needed with a little push from them in the right direction.
"You'll do that. And I have to talk to Lexie. See you later at home." Meredith looked into the eyes of her husband and knew they were on the same page. Talking some sense into Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey.
That's it. I would love to hear your thoughts. So please review.
I'm not done with this story but I have hardly any free time currently. So it will take a while until I can update this.
Thanks to FearTheSpork for beta-reading even though she doesn't watch the show. So all OOCness that might be there is solely my fault. :D