AN: This is my first shot at PokéHuman. That said, I think I have a pretty good understanding of the genre. This is mostly Gameverse, as well. Well then, here goes.

Gengar scare and Charizard roar,

I am Ditto, nothing more.

Everyone who has lived in the past century or so knows that the popular thing for children to go out and do is Pokémon training. This is true for both humans and Pokémon alike; human children dream of entering tournaments and Pokémon children dream of winning against their older siblings in a fight. However, behind the golden idealism lies a very unfortunate problem.

Certain species of Pokémon are more popular with the humans than others. Cute, fluffy mammalian Pokémon tend to be better off than species that resemble living plants or humans themselves. Though there are exceptions to the rule, it seems to hold true for the most part. And this is the problem.

The Eevee children are far luckier than the other children. Every human adores Eevee. Therefore, the new trainers feel more inclined to go looking for Eevee instead of Bellsprout. Or Goldeen. Or Drowzee. Thus, the young Bellsprout, Goldeen and Drowzee grow up to be bitter Victreebel, Seaking, and Hypno. Meanwhile, the Eevee children have a fourteen percent chance of evolving into what they want and most of them become unhappy as well. It's a very depressing cycle.

I should know. As a young Ditto I ambitiously transformed into an Eevee in an attempt to be noticed by a passing trainer. Surely enough, I was caught, so I transformed back. To my displeasure, the trainer quickly released me without a second glance, crushing my Pokéball beneath his shoe and walking away in a foul mood. I haven't been caught since.

That isn't to say I didn't try. In my youth I longed to be part of a team that would one day win the Pokémon League. The adults were quick to shoot me down, however. I still remember what one of them said to me.

"Oh, I've heard stories about what trainers do. You say they'll catch you and train you, huh? Help you become strong? Well, let me ask you something, buddy. Have you ever seen someone train a Ditto?"

Those words struck me hard. It was then that I realized my fate, and decided to make the best of it. From that day forward, I minded my own business and trainers minded theirs. And for twenty years, it worked. Until today.

"Dude! I need a Ditto for my Pokédex!"

I had been lying under a tree, pondering whether or not the popularity system would ever work out its own problems when a strange and hygienically challenged teenage human found me. I blinked at him; it had been a long time since I had seen a human's face.

"Arcanine! Weaken it!" the trainer shouted. Before his Pokémon even got a chance to materialize, however, I was already fleeing. I hadn't battled in twenty years and I had a feeling I would be more than a little rusty.

The Arcanine was quicker than me. He caught up to me in a mere second, growling at me and trying to intimidate me into backing into a corner. I sighed angrily.

"Please just let me through. I would rather not get caught," I asked the Arcanine politely.

The large canine scoffed. "Right. Look, we're just Pokédexing. Just let Mark catch you and you'll go straight to a box or something. It's no biggie."

"I doubt 'Pokédexing' is a real verb," I muttered. There seemed to be only one other option for me. I started to transform, glowing white before morphing into an exact duplicate of the Arcanine in front of me, and with my newfound speed, I bounded off.

The downside to transforming into an exact duplicate of someone is that they can do everything you can. Within seconds, the Arcanine matched my speed, slamming into my side and knocking me over into a bunch of bushes. Thinking quickly, I transformed into a leaf so they wouldn't spot me.

The boy and his Arcanine were quick to come over, but I remained unnoticed as they scanned the shrubbery I lay in. Well, it's likely, at least. I couldn't tell, as I didn't have eyes as a leaf. I wanted to make sure, so I inconspicuously granted myself an ear to hear with.

"Arcanine, you suck! How did you let it get away? Come on, let's go find another one," I heard the boy say. Once they were safely away, I transformed back into my normal self and breathed a sigh of relief.

I guessed the best thing to do was to learn more about this 'Pokédexing', so I opted to visit a wise old Nidorina who lived among the bushes I was currently sitting in. I doubted she knew much more than me, but it was worth a try. If anything, one of her children might have knowledge of it.

I took a refreshing, twenty-minute walk (or in my case, slogged my way through) to Nidorina's burrow. She was outside when I got there, and greeted me amicably.

"Why hello, Ditto. What brings you here?" she asked kindly. I smiled, which was rare for me, but Nidorina seemed to be able to make everyone happy when she was around.

"I was just wondering, Nidorina. Do you know what 'Pokédexing' is?" As soon as I said the word, I saw her eyes narrow.

She growled. "It's a blasted new fad with the humans, according to my son. They go around catching every Pokémon they can just so they can fill up their fancy dohickeys with 'data'. It already took two of my kids."

I frowned. "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," I said.

She shook her head. "Don't apologize. You're not the one going around catching everyone."

"No… Oh! That isn't a bad idea," I mused, blinking. Nidorina opened her mouth.

"What? Ditto, you can't be serious!" she said, aghast.

I shook my head. "You've misunderstood me, Nidorina. I was thinking… I could avoid capture by pretending to be a human myself, could I not?"

She pawed the ground. "Oh, I don't know, Ditto. You haven't come up with something like this since you were a child… and isn't it a taboo for you to transform into humans?"

I considered this. True, it was frowned upon to try and imitate a human, but that was due to a rumour more than anything. Many Ditto thought that if you transformed into a human, you wouldn't be able to transform back. But if I could turn into a leaf with an ear, I doubted being a human would cause me problems.

"I'm not saying it would be permanent. I'd just transform into a human whenever I saw one coming, and then they'd never aim a Pokéball at me," I looked at Nidorina. "I never understood the taboo anyway."

"I still don't like this idea, Ditto. Something could go wrong," she pressed, frowning at me with pursed lips.

I smiled. "I'm thirty-five years old, Nidorina. I can take care of myself," I assured her. And without giving her time to say anything more, I bid her farewell and made my way to the main road.

I peeked out into Route 15. There were trainers everywhere, like always, all challenging each other like they usually did. The boy with the Arcanine was far down the route, thankfully with his back turned. I took a breath. I hoped nothing bad would come from what I was about to do.

I slid into the shadows of the trees, being careful to conceal myself from any humans. Gazing at the boy who had tried to capture me before, I scanned each and every minute detail of his appearance. After all, I prided myself in my perfectionism.

After several minutes of watching, I decided I had stared at him long enough. I willed my cells to divide, the mitosis working at an incredible pace only my species could handle. Within seconds, I had matched his height, and after another ten I had finished transforming. I now appeared to be a regular, teenage human.

I took a few minutes to work out my new balance. Standing on two feet was a strange experience for me, as most of the Pokémon living in the area were either quadrupeds or plants. My species' adaptability quickly kicked in, however, and in no time I had learned to walk. Excellent.

I checked to see that the trainer still wasn't looking before walking onto the main path. None of the humans paid me any mind as I began to walk down the road, probably because I had no Pokémon to battle them with. I was grateful for that; the last thing I needed was to attract unnecessary attention and have the boy spot me.

Fuchsia City was my destination. I hadn't been into the city before, but I'd heard stories from others who had, and it was apparently a vacation spot for many a human, trainer or not. I thought if I was going to pretend to be a human, I needed to see how best to fit in, and being around humans would help me.

There was a small bit of my mind that was telling me I needn't go to such lengths to maintain what at most would be a several minute masquerade, but at the same time I was tempted to see how well I could keep up my act. I suppose I'm too much of a perfectionist.

While I walked, I noticed the astonishing difference among humans as a species. Unlike most Pokémon, each and every one of them look decidedly different from one another. There were many different nose shapes, eye colours, hairstyles, and countless other factors making up each one of them. It was quite fascinating.

My musing brought me to the city sooner than I expected. I stared, wide eyed, at the setting around me. There were many humans, bustling along hurriedly and chatting animatedly with one another. My first instinct was to run away and hide, but I suppressed it. There was no way they would possibly go after me in this form.

I casually strolled down the stylish, red brick roads. As I looked around at the buildings I couldn't help but wonder how I had lived so long without seeing any of it. Humans were strange creatures, but there was no doubt they were intelligent species. Not if they could make all this.

I stopped as I came across a small, fenced in pond. Peering into the waters, I was met with both the blank stares of some Magikarp and my own reflection. I frowned; the boy's laid-back appearance was not to my liking. Perhaps…?

I glanced around. Most of the people seemed to be preoccupied with something, and the ones who weren't were not paying any attention to me. I turned back to my reflection.

Carefully, I started to alter my appearance ever so slightly. The boy's stature was slouched, so I straightened it. Whatever skin condition was plaguing his face, I removed it. All in all, I just wanted to make the boy – whose face was my own, at the moment – a little more tidied up and professional.

I studied my new face. I had made many tiny changes, but if compared to the original, it was still recognizable, just better taken care of. I smiled. Much better.

As I was about to continue on my trek through the city, I heard a shriek, quickly followed by a tackle from behind. Thrown to the ground, I looked up at my attacker, ready to defend myself.

"Oh, hi, Mark! It's me, April!" A girl with auburn pigtails stood above me, grinning. "Sorry, I didn't mean to knock you over… Whoa. You look, er, different."

Ah. This would complicate things.

Well then. See you next chapter. :)