[HELLO FANFICTION! This is your inner demon back again :D These 1000 reasons have been written by Me (Ju) Katy-kat-meow, and we have had some input from a ginger :D Therefore, Yasha Satou now presents for you, 1000 reasons not to smile.

CAUTION: There may be some things in this list that may be insulting to some personas, don't worry, we are not prejiduce people. We are probably the least judgemental people...I mean...come on...We're nerds. WE LOVE ALL. =3

so, peace, and, if you don't know who yasha is, check my page and find out.


Oh, and now it counts as a drabble since I drabbled in it. Some mean person told me you couldn't have lists...I am now sad-DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WE HAVE WORKED ON THIS FOR? D: D: D: D: D: D: D: ... so now as we sulk...being sad... Here are our 1000 reasons, WITH A DRABBLE IN IT. ]

1,000 reasons not to smile:

By Yasha Satou

Dear world,

My existence has proved to be futile. I never was accepted amongst the shinobi ranks and therefore I will not be expected to show any sort of kindness towards other humans. When you ask for my expressions you are requesting such a difficult task that I find it easier to show you why my expressions shall not be thrown about hastily. Upon reading these you will find some hints on why I refuse to show warmth towards the race of animals we call human beings. Maybe it is my own fault, but, it is the fault of the influences around me that cause this.

Here are my reasonings. -Yasha.

1. When it rains

2. After it rains and there's puddles everywhere

3. And when you accidentally splash in said puddlesand you get muddy water all over your new white pants

4. When you don't have new white pants

5. When you trip on your long kimono because you don't have pants and die

6. When someone glues all the pages of your booktogether

7 When you're buying a book and the cashier glues the pages together right in front of you

8. When you see a kid buy ice cream and then drop it

9. When you can't buy ice cream

10. When you realize your only love is a fictional character

11. When you are a fictional character

12. When your computer crashes

13: When you crash your computer.

14. When you realize you never had a computer.
15. When you burn your toast

16. When you can't afford toast

17. When you realize Orochimaru could be Hitler

18. When that lifeguard never calls you back.

19. When you you forgot to give that lifeguard your phone number, therefore having him not call you back.

20. When you don't have a phone for that lifeguard to call.

21. When your house catches on fire.

22. When you remember you dont have a house to catch on fire.

23. When you sit there wondering whose house you just set on fire.

24. when your boyfriend has a duck butt for hair

25. when you mistake a duck butt for your boyfriend

26. when you realize there are no ducks in the Naruto world

27. When you realize the house you set on fire housed all the ducks you've never seen in Naruto

28. When you wonder why Sasuke won't do for 28 dollars.

29. When that sexy butler you've had your eye on is from a different anime, which doesn't include you

30. When some of the ashes get all over those new white pants that you don't have

31. When your brother is a man-whore.

32. When your brother is a non-stop-talking man-whore.

33. When you realize your man-whore of a brother isn't even a man. He's a cat.

34. When you have to wait until mating season to mate.

35. When you accidentally swallow a spoon.

36. When you realize you never had a spoon in the first place.

37. When you remember that you weren't even eating.

38. Questioning yourself on how you swallowed the spoon that you never had.

39. When you're a cat and you like water

40. When you're shunned from the cat association for liking water

41. When there is no cat association.

42,When all the cats shun you anyways.

43. When you're a cat who has mated with a duck.

44. When you're afraid your child might turn out to be a mutant cat-duck.

45. When your mutant cat-duck child has to be raised by your man-whoring cat-brother.

46. When the orchestra that follows you duck-mate takes a break.

47. When you wonder where he got the orchestra from.

48. When you wonder who would want to walk behind a duck and play sad music all day long.

49. When you question the sanity of the orchestra members playing behind your duck-mate.

50. When you realize you're in the orchestra too.

51. When someone drugs your drink

52. When you're traumatized by some war that you never fought in

53. When you write in your name on some plaque because you thought that you did something important but it turns out you were just dreaming

54. When you weren't just dreaming, it's just that no one cares.

55. When you lose your shoes.

56. When an alligator eats your shoes.

57. When you never had any shoes to be eaten.

58. When you realize the alligator didn't eat your shoes, he ate your feet.

59. When you're now a footless cat who was shunned from the non-existant cat-alliance and has to live with your man-whoring cat brother with your mutant cat-duck child.

60. When you drown because you have no feet.

61. When you realize its not because you have no feet, you just couldn't swim anyways.

62. when you want to join the Uchiha's sulking circles but you cant because they said that you're too emo

63. When you join anyways

64. When they don't give you a corner to sulk in

65. When you just have to sulk in the middle of the floor

66. When whenever you walk by people think that you're cosplaying from some underground anime, but it's just how you look

67. When you have a child, and it is a mutant cat-duck

68. When your child goes MEOQUACK.

69. When all your friends become scared and leave because of the strange noises your child makes.

70. When you don't have any friends.

71. When your only friends are a duck, a puddle, a bird-loving man who is the size of two of you stalked on each other, and a ginger.

72. When you realize you're associated with a ginger.

73. When that ginger was never your friend.

74. When you start to think that's agood thing, but then remember that the ginger is trying to steal your duck.

75. When people don't believe you that gingers can fall in love with ducks.

you sink to the bottom of the lake you drowned in and you see Kakashi

77. When Kakashi doesn't do anything to save you

78. When you wanted to be in One Piece

79 When your mutant cat-duck child starts taking after your brother

80. When you're dead and looking down at your child and it's dancing in some stripper club

81. When you die a second time

82.. When kids throw rocks at you when you walk by.

83. When you throw a rock back but somehow get hit instead.

84. When your plushie collection gets stolen.

85. When your Minato plushie was in that collection.

86. When you blame Naruto for stealing the Minato plushie, claiming he wants it for his own needs, not knowing thats his father.

89. When Naruto tells you Minato is his dad.

90. When you tell Naruto you had the plushie's child.

91. When somehow you wound up giving birth to Naruto.

92. When you wonder how the hell that happened.

93. When apparently there are no asian gingers

94. When Karin is the only exception

95. When you never smile

96. When you never frown

97. When you're always associated with the "Poker Face" meme

98. When you could totally read Lady Gaga's poker face

99. When you can't read Lady Gaga's poker face because you're not real.

100. When you just hit 100 reasons not so smile.

101. When you fail your math course.

102. When you never took math.

103. When you never went to school.

104. When you wonder how your vocabulary is so great if you never went to school.

105. When you realize you could be just like shakespear.

106. When you ARE shakespeare...as a girl.

107. When you remind yourself that you're dating Sasuke.

108. When you make the connection that now Sasuke and Shakespeare must have had a child together.

109. When that disturbing image of a mix between Sasuke and Shakespeare comes along.

110. When your boyfriend is in love with Naruto

111. When some random chick in the background yells "SASUNARU FOREVER!"

all your boyfriend wants is a goddamned Klondike bar

you buy "Rower's Greatest hits" and realize you just bought a blank CD

114. When you walk into a wall

115. When the wall walks into you

116. When walls walk away when you try to lean on them

117. When walls start to talk to you

118. When walls don't start to talk to you

119. When there is that one boss level you can never beat.

120. When you never learned how to play video games at all.

121. When your lunatic of a man-whore cat brother runs into you with an out of control skateboard.

122. When your brothers girlfriend is strapped to the back of the skateboard.

123. When you aren't concerned about his girlfriend, but more about the water that you didn't shut off this morning.

124. When you realize that Shakespeare didn't write all of his plays

125. When you meet Leonardo Da Vinci

126. When Leonardo Da Vinci paints you a portrait

127. When you realize you were drunk when all this happened

128. When you realize you're not old enough to drink

129. When you wonder where the hell all of these beer bottles came from

130. When you realize that they all come from David Bowie

131. When David Bowie makes you a sandwich, and then your dog eats it

132. When you realize you don't have a dog.

133. When the dog you dont have that ate your sandwich eats David Bowie.

134. When you realize you never even got to touch David Bowie's hair.

135. When the mafia kidnaps you.

136. When the Akatsuki kidnap you from the Mafia.

137. When you realize the Mafia must really suck if some blonde haired snot nosed 19 year old with 6.5 inch long tongues can get in and out.

138. When you remember that the blonde is already dead.

139. When you wonder who stole you back into Akatsuki.

140. When you realize the Akatsuki got destroyed 5 episodes ago.

141. When some random girl declares that she is your sister

142. When that 13 year old girl is a better skateboarder than your man-whore brother

143. When your brother's girlfriend give you the responsibility to milk the apple tree.

144. When you go cow tipping.

145. When the cow tips you.

146. When you tip Sasuke.

147. When Sasuke pushes you off a bridge.

148. When there is no bridge.

149. When you comprehend that Sasuke just tried pushing you off the non-existant bridge, and start crying.

150. When you don't cry.

151. When your cell phone dies

152. When your realize you don't have a cell phone

153. When you wonder what died

154. When you heard Sasuke singing in the showers

155. ...And he sucks at singing

156. When you try singing too.

157. When birds drop out of the sky at your singing.

158. When you wake up and you're bald.

159. When you realize that you never went to sleep.

160. When you hit the 160th reason not to smile and notice that there is no purpose to your life.

161. When you get stale Cheeze-its

162. When people tell you the sky's the limit

163. When you've already been to the moon

164 .When moms cover their kids eyes as you walk pass

165. When you cried for the first time

166. When it was over the recent Grey's Anatomy episode

167. When you watch Grey's Anatomy

168. When you fall out a window.

169. When a piano drops on your foot.

170. When your plane crashes and you're on the toilet.

171. When that lunatic breaks into your house and you're naked.

172. When you don't have a house to be broken into.

173. When you're eating and there's a hair in your food.

174. When you accidentally just swallowed that hair.

175. When you puke on your date.

176. When you puke because of your date.

177. When your date pukes because of you.

178. When you don't have a date to puke on.

179. When you just start singing to sad songs in your car while bawling your eyes out

180. When you dont have a car

181. When you don't have any sad songs

182. So you write your own

183. ...And that even makes Crona depressed.

184. When the piano, plane and hair puke on you
185. When you try out for X Factor

186. ...And you get in

187. But you get voted off first

189. When you start a "No Texting and Driving Campaign"

190. And you die because you were texting while driving

191. When you get hit by a school bus.

192. When you are driving the school bus that hit you.

193. When you try making photocopy's of your butt but wind up faxing it to somebody across the world.

194. When the person who got the photo is Orochimaru.

195. When Orochimaru sends you a message back that says "Hitler, Give me your mustache."

196. When you look down and realize you are Orochimaru.

197. When you realize you just faxed yourself a picture of Orochimaru's butt.

198. When you wake up with bright purple hair.

199. When you remember that you were bald, so where did the purple hair come from?

200. When you really have to pee but are too englufed in your current activites that you wet yourself.

201. When the person sitting next to you refuses to go to the bathroom for you.

202. When the person sitting next to you refuses to go to the bathroom with you.

203. When you're already in the bathroom.

204. When Orochimaru hangs the pictures of your butt on his wall

205. ...But you are Orochimaru

206. So you learn that you have a huge ego

207. And then you realize you are Hitler

208. But you're also Yasha so you're Jewish

209...So you hate yourself because you're also Hitler

210. And it all makes sense now...

211. When you think you're adopted

212. But you're not

213. And your parents get all pissed at you when you tell them that you think you are

214. When you don't have parents

215. When you are still a parent to a mutant cat-duck

216. When you finally master a yo yo trick, but then break a window trying to do it again

217. When you realize you don't have a yo yo , or a window

218. When dogs chase you down the street

219. When you get pushed into the street, and the cars don't go around you

220. When you stay home all day watching soap operas

221. Watching soap operas in general

222 .When your feet hang off the bed because you're to tall

223 . When your feet hang off the bed because you aren't tall enough.

224. When you don't have a bed to hang your feet off of.

225. When you don;t have facebook fishies to care for

226. When you dont have a facebook...

227. When you don't have a book with a face on it

228. When you have no books anyways

229. ...Manga or otherwise

230. When you realize you're not even capable of writing these 1000 reasons.

231. ...because you're fictional.

23. ...And because you have no arms

234. Because you were in the great Ninja war

235. ...Which happened before you were born

236. When you suffered war wounds when you were in the womb

you sit on a chair and it breaks.

the chair sits on you and you break.

your friends brother reminds you of L.

once again, you have no friends.

it turns out your daughter can also go HSSSMEOWQUAUGGHHHSSSSS.

no one can understand what that means.

your creator only writes depressing poems about you.
you realize you HAVE a creator.

245. When your creator's friend was going to cosplay as you

246. ...But she didn't

247,When you got substituted for your duck butt's older brother in female form

248. When you find out that your duck butt's brother has a female form

249. When you remember how you were supposed to be paired with his older brother.

250. When you realize it sucks that he does not have a female form to be paired with.

251, When Sasuke finds out you were supposed to be paired with his older brother and starts a crying fit.
252. ...Seeing Sasuke cry. *shudder*

253. When Sasuke cries and emo drips down his face

254. When you swear you see an L cosplayer at the store... But apparently that's just how he dresses

255. When you find a Deathnote

256. When it doesn't work

257. When it does work

258. When your crazy duck butt starts to use it

259. When you realize he can't because he's not real

260... But the Death Note is.

261. When you start to contemplate about this and realize you're just confusing yourself.

262. When you wonder how someone's duck ass of a hair could even write.
263. When you wonder where it learned to write!

264. When you really question it because duck butts don't have brains for themselves...
265. When you realize it must be an Uchiha thing: Duck butts can have brains for themselves.

266. When Light Yagami steals your potato chips.
he hides a baby TV in your potato chips.

268. When you realize you just wasted 3 bucks on a bag of potato chips that just got stolen.

269. When you wonder what idiot spends so much on a baby tv just to throw it away.
270. When you realize Light IS an idiot.
271...When you realize you're totally contradicting everything deathnoters know and love...

272. When the crowd of deathnoters kill you

273. But you're part of the deathnoters...

274. When you boycott Deathnote because L dies

275. When you realize L's real name is just 'L' (his first name)

276. And you think it's stupid

277. But then you realize how smart it actually is

278. When you convert into the Soul Eaters

279. And Death the Kid... is in your bathroom

280. When he screams at you because you have 2,000,000,000,000,001 hairs on your head, and it's an odd number... and that's not symmetrical.

281. When you question how Kid knew how many hairs there were on your head.

282. When you decide not to question Kid because he is Kid therefore he should not be questioned.
283. When a sebastian cosplayer has a very well toned butt.
284. When you punish yourself for not smiling at such a thing.

285. When you lay down in the rain and a brick falls on your face.
286. When it starts raining bricks.
287. When you curse mother nature.
288. When, while cursing mother nature, your period comes.
289. When you realize how ironic this is and decide to stop thinking about it.

you're inthe middle of the woods and theres no place to get a tampon.

291. When you remember you're a cat, therefore you can't get your period.

292. When, even though you can't get your period, you make a tampon out of leaves

293. And it's very uncomfortable.

.294. When you realize you can't even find the right hole to put the leaves in because you've never gotten your period before
295. When you decide to talk to that extremely sexy good looking cosplayer, and you realize that cosplayer is female...

296. And you're straight...

297. And that makes you sad...

298. When you decide you'll be un-straight for a day just to be with that cosplayer.

299. When you realize you can't do this because you're already in a relationship.
300...Oh well.

301. When you fabric glue your shirt together

302. When you wonder where the fabric glue came from.

303. When, instead of a handy dandy notebook, you have your handy dandy fabric glue.

304. When the blues clues characters sue you for using the handy dandy notebook idea.

305. When you get your male-cat brother to act like a dog and pee on them.

306. When more bricks fall from the sky.
307. When they hit your duck-mate.
308. When that actually makes you laugh.
309. When people run away at your laugh.

310. When your laugh sounds like BWAHAHAHD;SALIHFVIOASDHVAPOISUDFH
311: When you wonder whose side of the family that comes from...

312. When people think you're a terrorist...

313. When that cosplayer is already married

314. When that cosplayer is going to beat that other cosplayer

315. ...And you don't know why.

316. When some Yeul cosplayer comes up to you and says "THIS MUST BE A PARADOXXX!" and runs away.

317. When you get lost in the Historia Crux.

318. When you realize just how obsessed you are with Final Fantasy

319. When they stopped printing Shounen Jump
320. When youtube starts putting up ads before every video.

321. When you blame it on canceling shounen jump magazines.

322. When you go to protest but they tazer you.
323. When you realize you've suffered much worse than a tazer and "Accidentally" attack them.
324. When they tazer you a second time.
you wonder why they had the tazer ready when you came.
326. When you realize its no surprise.

you drink hot soup.
you miss your mouth and the soup spill down your bra.
329. When you can't decide if you eat or drink soup.
330. When you realize you got burns on your chest from the soup.
you realize that won't look attractive on the playboy magazine.
those stop printing too!

you wonder why it even matters...

you fall off your skateboard and you have to pick rocks out of your skin

you just get back up and start skateboarding again

you're jogging... but mostly walking

337. When your feet hurt

you spill green paint all over your white curtains

you whip your phone at a wall and it breaks

it doesn't break

you get hit by lightning

342,... The Final Fantasy character...

you get hit by general lighting

they both hit you

345. ...At the same time
you wonder how that's possible.
you start to run out of idea's for reasons not to smile.

you've just reached the 348th reason not to smile.
you realize that is just a horrible number and should not be in the numerical line of numbers.
you make a mental note to tell your math teacher that.
you don't have a math teacher.
you don't go to school to get a math teacher!

you destroyed the last school you saw
354...With everyone still inside.

you rip your pants

356. When you don't have pants to rip.

it's not an oval, it has to be a circle

25 is better than 25

you actually decided to sit down and write out 1000 things to be sad about

the fabric glue comes back

you use it to give Sasuke a fauhawk

you just wrote "fauhawk"

you start to sing "Call Me Maybe" and everyone around you dies

everyone de-friended you on facebook

you still have a MySpace... or whatever it's called

you have a word of the day calender

you use that word in every sentence

369. When you can't remember the formula for density.. and you need to know it

yøu need to know the formula for denisty.

you question at what time in your life will you need to know how to measure density.
you don't need density: You have anime!
you question your sanity for thinking this logic.


you remember you are Yasha Satou and therefore you are all sane and 100% logical.
you wonder how come ANBU get taken out so easily if they're supposed to be the elite?

you read that Tobi is not Madara.
Kishimoto must die because of this atrocity.

381. When Sasuke better not have any hair in the next episode

382. When you disappear off the face of the earth

383. When you forget to reply to the 1000 reasons

384. ...And now, 11 hours later, you are replying

385. When you get apple juice on your sketch book

386. When you have to go back to correct the spelling of book

387. When you have to get up early for school

388...But then you realize it's Saturday

389. When the difference between Saturated and Unsaturated carbons actually make sense

390. When science makes senses

391. When everything makes sense

392. When nothing makes sense

393. When you can't make of sense, because you were hit by lightning... And you're not real

394. When you're standing out in an open field during a lightning storm, right to a tall tree, and the lightning doesn't hit you.

395. When you realize an adorable pillow you wanted to buy says "redrum" on it.
396. When you, once again, never had the money to buy the pillow in the first place.
397. When you buy an icecream cone...and it falls on the sidewalk.
398. When your head falls on the sidewalk shortly after.
399. When you sigh because this has happened before.
400. When is hasn't happened before.
401. When you play minecraft for 13 hours straight

402. When you don't play minecraft for 13 hours straight

403. When your shoe doesn't taste like Anime Boston

404. When you break you pencil

405. When your pencil breaks you

406. When your pencil jumps out a window

407. When the window jumps out of your pencil
408. When your brother catches on fire

409. When you set your brother on fire.
410. When your brother sets you on fire.

411, When your sasunaru poster falls down.
412. When you realize you support a yaoi pairing involving your boyfriend.
413...Oh well.

people find you crazy for licking someone's shoe.
415. When its the same shoe that didn't taste like anime boston.

416. When your apendix bursts.

Sasuke's appendix bursts.

418. When Sasuke's appendix bursts on you.
419. When you can't figure out how that is possible.

420. When you sell Sasuke's appendix on ebay.

421. When you don't have an ebay to get on.

422. When you're afraid of heights.

423. When you find your fear of heights on a plane.

424. When the plane crashes.

425. When everyone on the plane but you survives.

426. When no one cares that you died.

427. When you realize you're dead so you can't not smile anyways.

428. When you break a nail.

429. When that last chocolate bar gets bought by the person in front of you.

430. when you never had the money to buy the chocolate in the first place.

431. When the air conditioner is broken.

433. When you didn't realize number 432 was missing.

432. When you didn't realize this IS number 432.

434. When you get hit in the face with a basketball.

435. When you hit the basketball in the face.

436. When the basketball HAS a face.

437. When the basketball is actually a head.

438. When you realize the basketball is attached to a body.

439. When you realize that's Sasuke.

440. When you didn't realize he was dead.

441. ...Until after you mated with him.

442. when you realize you just mated with a dead body.

443. When you're now sick.

444. When some guy wears your gym shorts.

445. When you don't own gym shorts.

446. When you slaughter the guy who stole the gym shorts you don't have.

447. When that guy is your cat-whoring brother.

you realize this is a good thing.

449. When your now-dead brother wasn't wearing your gym shorts; he was wearing spandex cycling shorts.

450. When you don't have the top bunk.

451. When the top bunk collapses on you.

452. When you don't speak english.

453. When you realize you're speaking english already.

454. When you give birth in papa ginos while peddling on a counter.

455. When you forgot about the baby you just gave birth to.

456. When you realize you're a strong independant black woman and don't need no man.

457. When you realize you're not black, you're white: and now you need your man again.

458. When you blink and you're on the titanic.

459. When you blink again and you're being born.

460. When you get slapped by the doctor...but you aren't a patient.

461. When you lose your place in a book.

462. When you remember you can't read.

463. When you trip down the stairs.

464. When you catch on fire after hitting the bottom.

465. When some giant fish claiming to be a shark starts prosecuting you because you're a cat.

466. When you play football.

467. When football plays human.

468. When you realize how wrong that sounds.

469. When someone else eats the last slice of pizza.

470. When you get chicken pox.

471. When a chicken gets cat-pox.

472. When a super genius manga is too smart for you to read.

473. When you flush your dead fish down the toilet.

474. when your dead fish flushes you down the toilet.

people think things are crazy, and you find them totally normal
you always judge a book by it's cover

they sell toast air fresheners

478... And you buy one for your friend's birthday

you read Make-Out Paradise

480...In 20 minutes

you don't read make out paradise

you actually take the time to make a thousand reasons not to smile, and everyone smiles as they read it

483. Being sad

484. When you swear that L didn't die, because they never checked his pulse, so therefore he is still alive.

485. When you have a memorial service for a fictional character

you don't have a memorial service for a fictional character

487. When you aren't a football playing king in space...with a mustache.

488: When the cops chase after the wrong people for lighting up fireworks.

489. When the cops chase after the right people for lighting up fireworks!

490. When an old lady cop chases after you for simply holding silly string.

491. When you think an Arab version of Manga got sold out.

492. When you can't figure out who would want to buy that.

493. When your friend wouldn't date your other friend for a scooby snack.

494. When you don't reply to these in a month

495. When you just paint your nails. The suddenly, you have to go the bathroom

you finally get out of school, all your friend writes in your yearbook is "Dude, your hair is like orange"

you never had a yearbook, or friend stupid enough to write that, or any friends at all

498. When you can throw Naruto at this cute little couple reading a book, and they don't even move

499. When you have a poopie in your diaper.

fill that void of being single, you marry your best friend

your not single, or have a best friend

502. When you think drunk people throw chairs

503. When a flesh eating bug comes to bite you, it stops because you taste horrible

504. When you love a Sasuke cosplayer more than you love Sasuke himself (FIGHTINGDREAMERSPRO BITCHES)

505. When that Sasuke cosplayer doesnt even know who you are

506. When minatos name is not pronounced how you thought it was.

507. When you have to spend the night in the ghetto.

508. When someone tries to steal your wife from you.

509. When you share a bed with a stranger in the ghetto.

510. When you're trying to be link and you get bird poop on your arm.

511. When you're trying to make mating calls in a pool.

512. When your mating call sounds like a fart.

513. When your mating call IS a fart.

514. When you realize how bad it would be for your mating call to actually be a fart...

515. When the Uchiha limb part was canceled because not enough Uchiha got their limbs cut off.

516 When you're not int the ghetto... The ghetto is in you..

517. When your boyfriend buys Frontline for you, because he's concerned that he'll get fleas from you

518. When you have you very own litter box

you get the same forwarded message.. Over and over and over

520. When you make an amazing Link cosplay, but you get into an epic LARPing.. And it just falls apart

521. When you cant sing like Whitney Houston


523. When your cat trips down the stairs.

524. When you trip down the stairs.

525. When your friend is a dancing junior mint box.

526. When somebody asks you if you are straight because you're ball dancing with another girl for fun.

527. When you jokingly say no, but they believe you.

528. When you have to flip that person off.

529. When you bite your tongue and it sprouts chickens.

530. When people in look at you weird when you hold hands with your bestie and people think you're a lesbian

531. When the stairs trip on you

532. When you draw people without them knowing

533. When people thank you for being so pushable into their pool

534. When you recruit people without their real consent to join your cosplay group

535. Trying to explain cosplay to people without making it seem totally nerdy.. It's pretty much impossible

536. When you can eat 6 bowls of rice... Without stopping.

537. When you're still hungry after six bowls of rice

538. When your neighbor is yelling at his dog to get a job.

539. When the neighbors dog is yelling at him to get a job.

540. When the dog is yelling in the first place.

541. When the toilet blows up in your face.

542. When your face blows up in the toilet.

543. When you have a face under your face.

544. When that face you have, you bought it at the gas station...

545. When the gas station buys your face...

546. When the beer gets drunk off of you

547. When you have to wait until October until the next Three Days Grace album

548. When you say " AHAHAHA YOU THINK IM JUST CRAZY? You should read my fanfiction..."

people spell things wrong

550. When you spell "when" with a Q

551. When you realize the closet looks at you... All night long

552. When the Zelda attacks make no sense so you sue the company.

553. When you don't have the money to sue the zelda company.

554. When someone wants to sue the zelda company in the first place. ... asshole.

555. When you name link "asshole" in skyward sword, then someone yells "Hey asshole! Up here!"

556. When you have a rash in places cats don't even have.

557. When that rash is in the shape of a duck butt.

558. When you start to have suspicions of how that rash became duck butt shaped.


560. When you see a Minato cosplayer...But you can't hug him because he has a pregnant Kushina cosplayer with him.

561. When you realize Minato's english voice came out...and the computer shuts down.

562. When all your plushies are suspiciously arranged in a triangle at the end of your bed.

563. When that triangle is not the triforce.

564. When your aunt offers to bring you to get your belly button pierced...but your mom says no.

565. When you have a pierceless belly button.

566. When your background is Kakashi and Minato squealing over baby sasuke.

567. When you put a reason to smile into a list of reasons not to smile.

568. When you're a fictional character who feels no emotions, so it doesn't matter anyways.

569. When you're itching to get a new chapter of your fanfic out but are too lazy to type it up.

570. When you ran out of ideas for your fanficftion, so you give up.

571. When you get stuck in the gawd dahm water temple.

572. When you realize that you're too lazy to type up a chapter, but you can type up 1,000 reasons why you shouldn't smile.

573. When you realize your life is very sad if you spend your summer writing up 1000 reasons not to smile.

574. When "Yolo" doesn't apply to you because you're a cat with nine lives.

575. When, sadly, that phrase doesn't apply to your man-cat-whore brother either.

576. When Kabuto DOESN'T bring back Izuna Uchiha.

577. When your friend's boyfriend destroys Pein's photo in such a way that he looks more like a rapist than he did before.

578. When you go to the beach with your friend...and it starts to downpour.

579. When two of your friends band together to spam the hell out of your cell phone with psychotic haunted "Majoras Mask" references.

580. When you're Yasha Satou, and once again, do not have any friends.

581. ... Or a cell phone.

582. When you realize you've probably repeated so many of your reasons not to smile.

583. When you wonder what idiot dropped you on your head in order to get you to write out 1,000 reasons not to smile.

584. When the date you puked on in reason number 175 returns with his dog.

585. When his dog has diarrhea.

586. When his dog diarrhea's on the carpet you don't own.

587. When Sasuke finds out you went on a date with another guy.

588. When he goes to slap some sense into you, and steps in the dog poop.

589. When this makes you laugh.

590. When, being Yasha, you don't have the ability to laugh, so you wonder what it was you just did.

592. . When Pein gets beat up by a genin

593. When Sakura beats you up

594. When even Hinata has the courage to tell you that you suck

595. When you don't want you and my friends, to hang out, o-o-on the weekends

596. When you don't know I just quoted a Skrillex song

597. When you've never heard of Skrillex

598. When your friend doesn't get the Skrillex haircut before he completely saves his head

599. When you don't know what the Skrillex haircut is...

600. When you're forever alone

601. When you're bored out of your mind

602. When you stay up till 1 o'clock every night playing questions with your friends

603. But your Yasha, you don't play questions, or have friends

604. When sliced bread is more sexy than anything, and it turns people on...

605. ...Turned on yet?

606. When you laugh at how ridiculous people die in Final Destination

607. When Sasuke didn't step in the dog's poop, it was your poop

608. When you wonder how your poop got on the floor in the first place

609. But then you remember it was when you were clubbing last night...

610. When you're Yasha, so therefore you don't go clubbing

611. When you then have to wonder, how did your poop get on the floor?

612. When it's for you, the faithful followers of Yasha to figure out..

613. When you get eaten by a dog

614. When that dog was that dog that ate David Bowie

615. When you meet David Bowie again in the dog's stomach

616. When you get pooped out by the dog in the middle of the street

617. When some guy in a white van pulls up to you and gives you candy, and then drives away

618. When you thought that those people were going to kidnap you, but Santa was inside.

619, When Santa tells you that you've been a very bad kitty, and that he isn't going to get you catnip for Christmas...

620. ...But wait, Yasha's Jewish... (Did I forget to mention that in the story? ^-^" )

621. When you kill Santa.

622. When all the children kill you for killing Santa

623. When you lost count of how many lives you have left

624. When you make a bet with someone on guitar hero that could potentially have you being forced to watch the annoying orange.

625. When you are one damn episode away from the english version of Pein vs Konoha and you can't wait.

626. When Kishimoto brings Itachi back just to have him die...again.

627. When Sasori dies first...both times.

628. When all your friends seem to always yell at you cause you have that one innocent OC you just MUST bag on in all drabbles.

629. When Naruto's "Nine tailed cloak" doesn't look like a tail, it just looks like he has a very red fart.

630. When you spit on puppies.

631. When puppies spit on you.

632. When you try to make a German shepherd a purse dog.

633. When you get the dogs head stuck in the purse trying.

634. When you really badly wanna punch Danzo, but can't because he's not real.

635. When all those people at Medieval Times can roll like Link

636. When your dinner last night was a squirrel

637. When you don't get the best idea for your Black Butler cosplay group to get you noticed

638. When you want to cosplay Tsunade, but your boobs aren't big enough

639. When your friend's boyfriend also ruined a picture of Tsunade...

640. When you are now watching Amityville Horror and your friend is predicting you will pee yourself.

641. When you DO pee yourself.

642. When a haunted zelda game tells you that you, "Shouldn't have done that."

643. When the one foot tall brick wall no longer follows you.

644. When Sasuke gets beat up by a nickle.

645. When you really don't believe that haunted Zelda game story...

646. ...But you still find it incredibly interesting

647. When you're not a natural ginger, and get hated on even more than a real ginger...

648. When you've only been to Olive Garden once

649. When you're getting all of your friends together to party in your garage...

650. ...And you don't know how that's going to turn out.

651. When you try to make all those friends watch Naruto, but they try to escape.

652. When you offer to cut their hands off so they can't open the doors.

653. When the host wants them to play guitar hero, so you offer to cut their feet off instead, so they can't run.

654. When your friends only dilemma about you chopping off peoples feet is that she doesn't want the blood stains on her carpet.

655. ... Or her ceiling.

656. When ceiling is not spelled like "Cieling."

657. When "Zeldaing" is now a verb.

658. When you could potentially catch a Zora on your fishing line if you went fishing in the Zora Domain.

659. When you're trying to watch the food network with annoying little girls running around.

670. When you have just hit the 670th reason not to smile.

671. When you're going to be away at camp for a whole week and you've never been away from home longer than four days.

672. When you have 329 reasons left on why you shouldn't smile.

673. When during that camp, you can't use your cellphone, or have any IPod that gets Internet

674. When auto correct wants you to capitalize Internet

675. And it's annoying

676. When you're writing a drabble about how you, your friend, and a bunch of sexy anime characters go clubbing in Vegas.

677. When you don't have a significant male

678. When you don't know what a significant male is...

679. When you finally pass the water temple, but then forgot to save, so you have to restart it all over again.

680. When that never happened to you, so you laugh, but then it does happen.

681. When you get suffocated by an air mattress.

682. When your friend wont bring you back a real life Canadian with a hockey stick and some syrup with a bald Eskimo.

683. When your mom gets hit by Itachi's 18 wheeler

684. When you have an idea for a drabble...and then forget it.

685. When you're so excited to finally get an xbox...but then realize that Ninja Storm doesn't come for it.

686. When the water bottles are so...far...away...

687. When you spend so much of your day with someone that when you finally get to go home their voice still echoes in your head.

688. When you repeatedly hear "Pickle rage...pickle rage...Pickle rage..."

689. When people subscribe for you a mental therapist for hearing this.

690. When your killer eggplants on flying ponies in space with mustaches all die.

691. When you can walk around Chatham with a blanket draped over your head chanting words in Arabic, and it doesn't surprise your friends at all.

692. When you can't find "A Haunting In Connecticut" On youtube.

693. When you're hungry, but are too lazy to get up and get some food yourself.

694. When you're overly bored, but don't know what to do with your life.

695. When you can't find a classy white shirt...or a tie.

696. When, by this point in the 1000 reasons, you're just stating stupid things that happen in your daily life to take up reasons.

697. When stupid things in your daily life actually do involve walking around a town with a blanket over your head chanting words in Arabic.

698. When the number 698 makes you want to punch someone-I mean something...

699. When Amityville horror is not horrifying at all...

700. When your friend messages you "Hi" but then doesn't respond after that.

701. When you wonder if they got captured by rabid aliens.

702. When there is a rabid lion with a frapaccino filing its nails in the backseat of your car.

703. When you want to buy skyward sword but it's kind of way too expensive.

704. When clash of ninja revolution 4 is taking forever to come out in america.

705. When your henna that was supposed to last 3 weeks really only lasted 1 week.

706. When you're still unexceptionably bored...

707. When you want to go to game stop but it's already closed.

708. When you want to go to see a movie...but are too lazy to ask anyone to go with you.

709. PMSing...Enough said.

710. When you can't come up with another reason but are too lazy to do anything else with your life, so you must continue.

711. When you spend time listening to a screamo band, not knowing what they're saying at all

712. When you don't have at least one screamo song on your ipod

713. When you don't have an ipod, or any music playing device

714. When your friend says "Oh yeah, you could totally make it into Berklee" ... But you obviously cant

715. When you spend 16 dollars on a medieval skirt, for absolutely no reason

716. When you don't have a medieval skirt

717. When your friend still hasn't made you a kilt.

718. When you asked for that kilt two years ago.

719. When they tell you that they never will make you a kilt.

720. When you are sad and kiltless.

721. When you don't know what a kilt is.

722. When you have matching kilts and medieval skirts.

723. When you're really getting down to the wire about things to be sad about

724. When you realized... You've never seen Light perfectly cosplayed

725. When you wonder how that's possible, because he's probably one of the most normal looking characters in any anime..

726. Unless you count, like... Casual Kyoya or something..

727. When you've actaully seen somebody cosplay as that...

728. When Homestuck has completely taken over the one anime convention you go to

729. When you remember that in 2011, it was all Hetalia...

730. When all you homestuck lovers are probably gonna be all pissy at us because that's right, I DON'T LIKE HOMESTUCK.

731. When you wonder what's after Homestuck for the anime culture...

732. When you agree with your buddy that Homestuck does give rashes.

733. When your little sister finds the need to yell for no reason.

734. When you've been to the cape so many times that you feel like setting it on fire.

735. When you cannot set the cape on fire and therefore you are now sad.

736. When this adorable Naruto cosplayer melts your heart.

737. When you're Yasha, so adorableness cannot melt your heart.

738. When you don't have a heart to melt.

739. When you don't name the foam head that houses your Suigetsu wig, Karen

740. When you realize Karen sounds to much like Karin

741. When you realize that Jugo, Karin, Sasori etc, are all ginger ninjas.

742. When you forget Skull Kid is the backround for your computer, and you almost scream when you see it

743. When you almost scream because you read that creepy Majora's Mask story

744. When you haven't read the creepy Majora's Mask story

745. When you haven't seen Doctor Who

746. When you realize you're going to an anime convention, and only one of the characters you're going as, is actually from an anime

747. When you can't accept that haters gonna hate

748. When you have an argument with a friend about who did Giriham first...

749. When you don't know who Giriham is...

750. When one of your band teachers looks like the keebler elf.

751. When no one else agrees with you.

752. When you remember that you had planned to have 1000 reasons done in a weekend...

753 .When its taken you a good number of months to finish.

754. When you can't decide if you want long or short hair.

755. When some mean ass dude doesn't like Minato Namikaze.

756. When your cat pooped behind a couch...

757. When you get a back massage on the beach...but then get sand in your eyes.

758. When you don't know who Girham is because you dont play SkywardSword

759. When you want to do something stupid, you just say YOLO

760. When you cant YOLO, because you're Yasha, and therefore a cat, so therefore you have 9 lives

761. When that number of lives has decreased a lot because of all the dying there has been done through these 1000 reasons

762. When no cats were harmed in the making of these 1000 reasons

763. ...Except for Yasha

764. When you're not the queen of witty comebacks, because there's only one, and it's me.

765. When you skip over this reason not to smile.

766. When you MUST be a grammar nazi.

767. When people hate you because you always correct their grammar.

768. When it's not your fault their English sucks.

769. When they blame you anyways.

770. When your mom gets mad at you when you tell her that you're forever alone.

771. When, what she doesn't know is that you're only semi-forever alone because in the worst case scenario you always have your childhood wife!

772. When you think the punctuation in that last sentence was wrong, therefore, you must cause harm to your computer screen.

773. When you're aching to watch a terrifying movie but your parents won't let you watch one.

774. When people actually LIKE math

775. When you wonder how that's even possible

776. When those people who actually like math must be suckups

777. When those people who like math, get better grades in math than you do

778. When you could probably make a list of 1000 reasons why you dont like math

779. ...But you're too caught up in writing out 1000 reasons not to smile

780. When after you finish 1000 reasons, who wants to make it to 5000 reasons?

781. When apparently you cant buy those awesome portal shoes you found online.

782. When you have to take a break from the 1000 reasons not to smile to take a bathroom break.

783. But you dont want to take a break, so you take your laptop into the bathroom with you...

784. When you laugh hysterically at the last reason that was sent to you.

785. When you would do the same thing.

786. When you wonder how hysterically laughing is a reason not to smile.

787. When you are Yasha, so apparently happiness IS a reason not to smile.

788. When you're only 14 and your back is already beginning to hurt you.

789. When you doubt that anybody is actually going to read through all 1000 reasons.

790. When you feel guilt about reading that last reason that you go back to read all of the reasons.

791. When I must laugh at your misery.

792. When some guy on the television got shot to death...

793. When there is a cross dressing guy on the T.V, but he's doing it wrong.

794. When you wish you were a guy.

795. When you only wish you were a guy so you could wear pants to special occasions.

796. ...And so you wouldn't get mother nature's fabulous monthly gift.

797. When you go to the doctor and they ask if you're doing drugs or drinking.

798 When you have to look at them like "bitch, do I LOOK like I'm doing drugs or drinking?"

799. When those people at the airport test you for something that they wont even tell you about

800. When they probably thought "Hey, lets test that skater kid because all skaters must have drugs in their system." Or something like that

801. When you have to go through airport security twice in one day because you're smart ass of a sister left her phone on the plane

802. When you have to run around a huge airport, alone, to go get that phone.

803. When your bang is not falling like a normal bang should.

804. When you're only about 200 reasons away from finally being done with such a god forsaken list.

805. When you're such a yeti with a hat.

806. When you forgot how to get to the temple in the sky...

807. When you just lost your "Scramble with Friends" game.

809. When you think that should've been "Scrabble" instead of "scramble"... But what do I know...

810. When you don't know that you get to the temple in the sky but discovering that cannon once you move all the statues and find that glowing green stuff

811. When your sister and her sister's friend are playing obnoxious pop music

812. When you can't be happily hipster


814. ...When probably all the people who still haven't finished the Noah's Ark Circus ark are probably gonna kill me

815. When i should've written SPOILER before that...

816. Oh well...

817. When "oh well" is a reason...

818. When you didn't take a picture of having 69 rupies.

819. When you put these reasons on facebook and no one understands half the reasons.

820. When ummm .. hah... PSHTHHH sure.

821. When you can throw your keyboard around the room like a doll and it DOESN'T break.

822. When you find keys for your cello case...but they don't work.

823. When The Ring isn't as terrifying as you thought it would be.

824. When you're Yasha, so you don't feel fear anyways.

825. When you go all the way back to 25.

826. When you wonder why your boyfriend went for the duck style and not a koala style.

827. When you have to consult InuYasha for reasons not to smile.

828. When you can't stay behind and protect Lady Kagome!

829. When you can't be rid of the family that is cleaning your door.

830. When you don't know why Kohaku lost his memory...

831. When you now must consult soul eater!

832. When Death the Kid disgusts you!

833. When Blaire's not a witch! She's just a cat with really really strong magical powers!

834. When Black Star beats up someone who is already dead.

835. When you have to kill someone to death.

836. When the characters on the soul eater manga look so much different than the ones in the anime.

837. When your mother just WONT. LEAVE. YOUR. ROOM.

838. When your toe breaks.

839. When your face breaks.

840. When your face breaks because of Yasha.

841. When Yasha can't break your face! She's not real!

842. When you cant find out what broke your face.

843. When Orochimaru tells you it was Hisashi.

844. But neither Orochimaru OR Hisashi are real!

845. But you don't know that...

846. When there is another world that houses all the fictional characters..

847. Which is Mars

848. ...But you can't go there

849. Why you might ask? Because I said so.

850. When somebody over the internet is telling you what you can or can not do.

851. When you are forced to listen to it.

852. When you get a rock thrown at your face because you DIDN'T listen to it.

853. ...You shouldn't have done that.

854. ...Majora's mask anybody?

855. When your Ocarina sets you on fire

856. When your Ocarina doesn't set you on fire

857. When your phone tells you every 3 seconds that you have low battery

858. When you have become annoyed with list.

859. When you bla bla spanish

860. When you bla bla french

861. When you bla bla [ insert choice of language here]

turtles suddenly don't have shells anymore..

863. And when you realize, therefore they're naked

864. When you must think that the turtle mafia is collaborating with the stripper turtles

865. When both of those things actually exist

866. When you get tazed by someone and all they do is watch Super Nanny while you drool on the carpet

867. When everyone loves Zach

868. When Minato gets electrocuted


870. When poor Minato has been downgraded to an "it"

871. When your friend's boyfriend, is an oval

872. When you can't even see your friends face...

873. When the spirit wolf from zelda attacks you because you got the song wrong.

874. When you start making unattractive noises to simulate ideas.

875. When Naruto's sex noise is a horse sound

876. When Yasha rides Suigetsu

877. The horse

878. Not whore. HORSE.

879. When you actually have that conversation about Naruto's sex noise.

880. When your mating call sounds like a fart.

881. When your mating call is "SHUT UP...IDIOT."

882. When your mating call is obnoxious water bubbling.

883. When your mating call is a high pitched hawk scream.

884. When you go back to watching Potter Puppet Pals.

885. When the source of the mysterious ticking noise is a pipe bomb. ... YAYYYY.

886. When no one wants Sasuke's revenge.

887. When you sexually bounce on the bed to come up with ideas.

888. When it's not working.

889. When you put cat ears on a suigetsu wig.

890. When you put a suigetsu wig on cat ears.

891. When you realize...You're Yasuigetsu.

892. When you've figured that most of these reasons are just one reasons flip flopped around to make something unimaginably stupid.

893. When the reasons are so unimaginably stupid that they're just flip flopped around.

894. ...See what we did there?

895. When you didn't see what we did there.

896. When you don't go out for an inspirational walk

897. While during that walk you didn't go on, you forgot all the reasons you came up with

898. When you stick your hand in an oven to check if it's hot

899. When you jump off a cliff to see if you'll die

900. When you're 100 reasons away to being done with this list

901. When you try to find the way back to your house with your eyes closed.

902. And you walk into a mailbox

903. Or you trip on the curb

904. When you contemplate taking the reasons at the top of this list and putting them down here to fill space

905. When you finally find out who Omar is...

906. When you can't find out who Omar is

907. When your friend teaches you the art of constipation

908. When you wonder how many "whens" are on the list

909. When it's probably around 1000 or so

910. When I don't need your pity... Ya... Escape the Fate bitches

911. When licking a microphone is incredibly sexy

912. When you have a pickle rage

913. When you think your area code is your zip code...

914. When papa ginos doesn't sell medium sized bread sticks.

915. When you don't need naughty language.

you call it naughty language.

917. Bitch please, I can use what ever fucking naughty language i god damn like.

918. When you're out of water bottles.

919. When only response is "ho" to everything

920. When you make Pein look gay on a dress up site.

921. When you make Konan look like a ho on that same site.

922. When you realize that Obito liked Rin, Rin liked Kakashi, and Kakashi liked no one.

923. When your identification of Kakashi is by putting a hand over your mouth and another hand over your eye.

924. When you have intense backgorund music as you write these reasons.

925. When your friend laughs at you for having sexy background music.

926. When these aren't really reasons to smile, they're reasons to laugh

927. When your skype beeper goes off and you want to kill someone with a brick.

928. When you wish you had a penis so Sai could comment on it.

929. When you just clap to come up with ideas for this god damned list...

930. When you just realize, "Oh hey, these people making this list are running out of ideas!"

931. When you realize that they ran out of ideas in reason 500.


933. When you don't type in caps lock.

934. When you type in italics.

935. When you really hate me for pointing out stupid things that aren't reasons to smile, but to merely fill up space.

936. When your partners decides to look up reasons not to smile instead.

937. LIES.

938. When we must sadly admit that we never did look up those reasons.

939. When you have to get married to a cat.

940. When you have to break the news to your boyfriend that you're getting married to a cat.

941. When you don't have a boyfriend because you're Yasha and you're forever alone.

942. When your duck mate and your duck mate's brother is a widely supported pairing *shudder*

943. When even though they are both incredibly sexy, is just plain wrong...

944. When even though you have your duck mate, you also watch his brother :)

945. When its the first time we actually put an emoticon in this.

946. When the grudge looks like Orochimaru.

947. When in the next episode of Naruto, Orochimaru is back with a hitler mustache.

948. When that mustache looks sexy on Orochimaru.

949. When ANYTHING looks sexy on orochimaru.

950. When you can say that something does look sexy on Orochimaru.

951. When Micheal Jackson drops down from your ceiling and starts singing thriller.

952. When you don't have a ceiling.

953. ...Because you're Yasha.

954. So therefore your argument is invalid.

955. What argument you may ask?

956. THE argument.

957. When the past four reasons count as reasons because we want them to.

958. When you can tell the reasons are just going to get shittier from here on out.

959. When Pein is drunk, hanging from your chandelier.

960. When Kakashi is also drunk with a gorilla mask, throwing porn to the ground.

961. When Deidara got thrown into a fan.

962. When he got chopped up into little Deidara pieces.

963. When four of those pieces all have mouths...

964. When you wonder if Deidara has mouths on his feet...

965. Does he?

966. When Yasha actually yells "STFU."

967. When Yasha yells at all...

968. When you're married to a bucket.

969. *evil laugh* When this is number 969.

970. When you wonder if that means it's a threesome.

971. When Zetsu farts flowers.

972. When Kakuzu is the shortest one in the Akatsuki...but he really isn't.

973. When Sasori IS the shortest one in the Akatsuki.

974. When Pein is averaged height...for a woman.

975. When Kisame is only tall for his hair.

976. When you can dress up Ash and Misty as Link and Zelda.

977. When you have to watch My Little Pony to get to sleep for the next week.

978. When you wish this was 978 reasons not to smile.

979. When Gaara flips you off.

980. When these reasons continue to be shitty.

981. When the creepy Ben statue from Majoras mask falls from your ceiling

982. When your friend spams your facebook with "cape."

983. When you don't even own a cape!

984. When you now have to kill a bitch because they said cape.

985. When you name your pillow pet Queen Latifa.

986. When you're Yasha so you don't have the heart to buy a pillow pet.

987. When your hairdresser says "oops"

988. When you end up with really short hair when you didn't want that...

989. When you hate on people with short hair.

990. When you're a hater.

991. When you're too much of a lover.

992. When you're yasha and you are neither of those things.

993. When you didn't have any hair to begin with.

994. But then you remember your hair was purple...from like a bajillion reasons ago.

995. When you can hardly finish 1000 reasons, so how do you have a bajillion reasons/

996. When you burn your hair thats nonexistant with your straightener so its black and smells like burning bacon

997. When someone pulls a iraq joke and your response is iran a mile today

998. When your socks don't match.

999. When your shoes don't match.

1000. When you actually finish 1000 reasons not to smile :)