Kurt didn't know what to do. It had been over two months and both kids were starting to act out. Puck had taken them out on the weekends trying to keep some semblance of a presence in their life. But the longer it went on the more difficult Eve was getting. She wanted her papa and she let Kurt know every chance she got. Hayden was just becoming quieter and quieter locking himself in his room more and more. Kurt was losing his children. What if Noah decided he didn't want them after all? Would he lose them completely? Everyone was sympathetic but none of them really knew how to help him. He was struggling to get his deadlines done. Struggling to keep his children happy and not cry in front of them. Kurt just didn't know what to do.
The doorbell rang as he was working on dinner. He washed his hands and went to answer the door. A young lady was standing on his front porch looking a lot of nervous. "Can I help you?" Kurt asked gently.
"Um yes does Noah Puckerman-Hummel live here?" She asked. Kurt frowned slightly.
"He's not here right now." Kurt said not wanting to jump to a snap conclusion she barely looked older then his Hayden. Old fears of Noah going back to women were resurfacing after so many years.
"Oh, um then you must be Kurt."
"I am." Kurt said slowly.
"My name is Beth Corcoran." Kurt frowned then, he was lost. "I'm his daughter." Kurt's eyes widened. That little baby girl had grown up.
"I'm sorry I just didn't recognize the name. Um would you like to come in for a moment? Noah," Kurt paused. "He's staying with his sister at the moment I'll get you the address."
"Oh I could always try again if this is a bad time." She said pushing dark curls back.
"If you want but you came all this way I'm sure you took time off to come." Kurt walked to the coffee table and wrote down Sarah's address. "He might still be at the school. He has Glee rehearsal they're getting ready for Nationals." Kurt paused looking at her hovering in the entry way. "Why don't you hang around here for a little while? I'll write down the directions for you so you don't get lost."
"If you're sure."
"I'm sure. I'm just working on dinner. Have a seat don't be so nervous. I'm sure taking a breather will help calm you down before meeting him." Kurt began writing down directions from his house to Sarah's.
"Does he talk about me?" She asked taking a seat.
"Every time he gets a letter and for days after. He has a two scrap books devoted to you."
"I probably shouldn't say too much but Noah never wanted to give you up. He just wanted what was best for you. He wasn't exactly the brightest guy in school. He realized love wouldn't be enough to provide what you needed." Kurt handed her the directions. "Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Oh no I don't want to be a bother."
"I have two children I have plenty of juice, soda, and water is free you know." Beth laughed and it sounded like Quinn's. She followed him into the kitchen.
"Water would be just fine. I rather be calm when I go over." Kurt grabbed a glass and filled it from the refrigerator.
"In his last letter he told me about his mom. He talked a lot about her and about how strong you were being for him."
"Your grandmother was a wonderful woman. She helped me out with my first child a lot, before Noah and I ever got together. She was like a third mom for me." Kurt said finishing up his prep so he could put dinner in the oven.
"He sent me pictures last year. Mom said I looked a lot like my dad."
"It's the dark curls. Eve takes after him too." The front door opened Kurt leaned over.
"Dad can I have dinner with Dad and Aunt Sarah we're going to work on my solo?" Hayden asked running into the kitchen.
"Hayden I just put dinner in the oven. Why didn't you call me earlier?"
"We were busy." Hayden seemed to notice Beth he frowned a little. Noah came in his mouth froze half open.
"I think you'll have to go another time. Your father has a guest." Kurt said not looking at his husband.
"This is a bad time. I should have called or told you guys I was coming somehow." Beth said standing up awkwardly.
"It's your choice but I think this is the best time. He won't have any distractions." Kurt said moving to the pantry to pull something out for a side.
"Yeah. Again I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I kind of wanted to surprise you."
"Wait who are you?" Hayden asked.
"Hayden go upstairs and put your bag in your room. Dinner will be ready in an hour you should work on your homework."
"Hayden don't argue with me." Kurt snapped softly. Hayden huffed and stormed off.
"Noah why don't you have Beth follow you. She came all this way to see you."
"If you don't go before Eve comes home she won't let you go. I have enough problems with her I don't need more." Kurt kept his back to them.
"Thank you for putting up with me Kurt."
"No problem sweetie I enjoyed your company drive safe." Kurt gave her a smile and went to the living room to pick up her things.
"Please Noah just go. And next time before you make plans call me. I still cook dinner every night in this house." Kurt refused to look at him tears already welling up. He stood there until they left breaking into tears.
"Dad?" Hayden put his hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt jumped and looked at him. Already taller then him and only sixteen. Kurt knew he shouldn't cry in front of his son but he just couldn't help leaning into him and crying. Hayden's arms came up around him and held him tight.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just…" Kurt cried some more. "I'm trying Hayden. I promise you I'm trying but it's just getting so hard. Eve throwing constant tantrums and you shutting yourself in your room."
"No it's not." Kurt sobbed feeling heavy guilt placing all this on his son. When Carole and Burt arrived with Eve Kurt told Hayden to go change into a dry shirt before his grandparents saw him. Kurt dried his eyes and hugged Eve tight as she came bursting into the kitchen.
"Is papa home?" She asked.
"Not yet baby." Kurt replied still choked up. "But I made your favorite so go get your brother and have him wash his hands too." Eve pouted but ran off.
"Kurt what's wrong?" Kurt asked sitting at the table.
"Ah, Beth showed up about half an hour ago. Noah brought Hayden home so she just followed him. She's grown up into a very pretty young lady." Kurt busied himself making sides.
"Kurt maybe we should take the kids for a few days give you some alone time."
"If I have any more alone time I think I'll shatter." Kurt replied softly. "I just have to hold on for a little while longer." He had never hopped anything he said was more true.
Noah had never actually expected to meet his daughter face to face. She had all of Quinn's soft features but her eyes were the same changing hazel and those dark curls came from his side. He'd always told himself he'd find her the moment she turned eighteen but as time went on he became content with her letters. He had framed her graduation announcement. To have her show up out of the blue was a little much. He was trying to fix things with his family but apparently he wasn't. Kurt had barely looked at him and that was less then last time.
At first Beth had been timid but once she relaxed they swapped stories and jokes. He'd told her everything her heart desired helped along by Sarah once she'd come home. His sister had broken into tears and hugged her. Noah was blown away by how easily they settled with each other. That night he just couldn't stop thinking about everything. Beth would be in town for two weeks. She had wanted to get to know his family. She wasn't looking to be made part of it just trying to get to know him. Noah would have to talk to Kurt. Why was it the longer they were apart the harder it all got? Kurt was looking thinner and not even his best stage makeup experience could hide the dark circles. Kurt was falling apart and it was Noah's fault. He didn't know why it had taken him so long to figure it all out. Two weeks in he'd wanted to run back begging Kurt to forgive him but he knew better. Kurt would know if he'd thought about it or not.
He missed Kurt so badly some nights he swore it was a physical pain. Kurt had been his everything for so long. They'd both cried as they heard that same sex marriage had been legalized in Ohio. They had waited for four years. Four years of ups and downs with Eve in and out of the hospital and Hayden going through puberty. Four years of not caring what a piece of paper said as long as Kurt was wearing his ring. A ring Noah had seen on his finger that very afternoon. Noah felt hope swell in his chest. His own ring lay warm around his fingers. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Kurt till the very moment he took his last breath. Maybe getting Kurt to agree to Beth getting to know her siblings wouldn't be so bad. He'd call him during his lunch break the next day.
"If this is about Hayden going over to Sarah's I told him it was alright with me as long as it was alright with you." Really those were going to be Kurt's first words.
"Kurt there's something else."
"I'm rather busy with my winter line can this wait?" Noah closed his eyes against the pain hearing Kurt's business tone used with him.
"Beth want's to get to know her siblings."
"Noah she just met you in person."
"I know just…Kurt she just wants to know her family. She doesn't want to miss out on anything else."
"Then pick up Eve from mom and dad's she'll be ecstatic to see you during the week."
"Kurt you're part of her family."
"Am I Noah? I'd never keep the kids from you, you don't have to placate me."
"Baby I miss you. I want to come home. I want to be with my family." Noah was glad his doors were closed.
"I don't want you to unless you're sure. Look I'd rather not have this conversation over the phone. And I don't want the kids around." Noah clenched his fist.
"I'm trying to make things right Kurt. I know what I want please just think about it." There was silence for a moment.
"I'll call you latter. Make sure Hayden does his homework. I'll call Dad and let him know you'll be picking up Eve."
"I miss you too." Oh god Kurt was crying. "I just need a little time to think."
"Alright. I'll have them home before Eve's bed time."
"Good bye Noah."
"Good bye Kurt I love you." Kurt didn't say anything just hung up the phone. Noah leaned back in his chair. He wasn't really hungry for lunch anymore.
"So I have a big sister too?" Eve asked from her seat on Noah's lap. She'd been his happy bubbly princess since he picked her up. Thankfully Kurt's parents were staying out of their fight. Even confined mostly to a wheel chair Burt was terrifying.
"Yep and I'm glad to meet both of you. I always wanted siblings." Beth smiled.
"Will you come over and play dolls with me? Hayden only plays because daddy makes him." Eve gave her big brother a look.
"I'd like that." Eve hopped out of Noah's lap and claimed Beth as hers. Noah had been worried he still was. Beth would never be his daughter. She was all grown up. He kind of knew what Shelby meant all those years ago when she had told Rachel it was too late for them. But Noah wanted to know her and he wanted her to know her family. Eve was regaling Beth about all her babies and dolls and Beth would tell her stories of her old dolls. Hayden got up and motioned for Noah to follow.
Hayden leaned against the kitchen counter looking uncomfortable. "When are you coming home?" Hayden asked.
"When your dad says it's alright." Noah replied.
"I'm worried about him. Did you figure it out yet? Whatever he wanted you to because I don't think he'll make it another month. Dad he cried so much my shirt was soaked. He never cries in front of us."
"Look Hayden I'm working on it. I know it's been a hard two months and we're asking a lot of you. He looks thin is he eating?"
"When we sit down to dinner but I don't know about the rest of the day." Hayden shrugged. "I don't know what to do."
"I know kido I know. I'm sorry this is all my fault." Noah ran a hand over the center of his head. "Do you think you could spend a night over at your grandparents with Eve?"
"Whenever your dad will let me talk to him."
"Well Beth and Aunt Sarah are going shopping you should do it tomorrow. We don't have club so it would be right after school." Noah pulled his son into a hug.
"You're a good man son. Smart as hell too. Let's order food before it's too late." Hayden clung to him a moment before letting go.
Kurt was jumpy Noah was supposed to come over after work. Kurt hadn't gotten a damn thing done all day. When the doorbell rang he jumped. Noah had a bag of Chinese food in hand. "I uh brought something to eat." Kurt nodded and stepped back to let him in. They had never been this awkward with each other. Kurt was so nervous he couldn't eat if he wanted to. "Kurt it's just me."
"I…I know." Kurt stammered walking toward the couch.
"Kurt I can't take back what I said but I can apologize and beg your forgiveness. I thought about it every single day and I was just mad at myself. I was mad because for a moment I felt like I had done nothing worth anything in my life. Fuck call it a midlife crisis but that's not an excuse." Noah took Kurt's hands in his. "Kurt I love you so much and I love our kids." Noah licked his dry lips. "I love our life." Noah closed his eyes. "I just felt so alone I'm the oldest person in my family now. She was barely in her fifties and all it took was a fall. You were amazing being my rock letting me fall apart without comment. I never would have made it without you holding my hand." Noah sighed. "I would really like to be madly in love again. To sleep in my bed with my husband and tuck my little girl in every night.
"Kurt I have no songs for this one. There isn't one deep enough there aren't enough words in the world to tell you how sorry I am." Tears rolled down his cheeks.
"Noah just come home." Hazel locked on blue-green. "I know it's bad but I just can't bring myself to eat most days and my work is suffering. I can't sleep in that bed. I haven't once since you left. I set the alarm on my phone to get up before the kids and pretend I did. I love you too and I can't do this without you. The kids aren't taking it well either. I know Eve loves me but right now she just wants you. And I can't help Hayden with his girl problems I just don't know what to tell him. This family needs you in it to function."
"I love you Kurt." Noah pulled the smaller man into his lap and kissed him. Kurt let out a small sob as they kissed. Noah held him tighter. He knew there was going to be more time involved and Kurt would be jumpy for a while but they were back together.
"I want you." Kurt panted pulling back from their kiss. "No I need you." Kurt slid off his lap and held out his hand. Noah took it and let Kurt lead him upstairs. Their bed was made and the room barely smelled like Kurt. He must have been using the kid's bathroom too. Noah pulled Kurt into a kiss and let it grow passionate on its own. He was the first to lose his tie and shirt. Then went Kurt's shirt his bare skin still soft and white. He could see how much weight Kurt had lost in just three months. They'd fix that later. Kurt pulled off his undershirt before pulling them to the bed. They lay kissing tasting each other again. Noah broke away first kissing down Kurt's neck and sucking a dark love bite just behind his ear. Kurt whined and arched up against him.
"Glad to see you didn't forget how good I feel against you." He teased rolling his hips. Kurt moaned and pushed him. Noah pulled away watching Kurt hesitantly. Kurt just gave him a soft smiled and got rid of his pants and underwear moving up on their bed. Two kids and a decade and Kurt's ass was still perfect. Noah quickly jerked off his own slacks following Kurt. Their bodied pressed together on their own each curve fitting perfectly and with comforting familiarity.
They kissed and touched just feeling each other. Neither of them were in a hurry. Even Noah prepping Kurt was slow. Noah savoring the feel of his husband and relishing in each low moan and high sigh. By the time he got three fingers in Kurt was shaking like a leaf. "Noah please." Kurt pleaded. Noah smiled pulling his fingers out and slicking himself up. Bottoming out inside Kurt was like coming home for both of them.
Their movements were slow. There was such a thing as making love and they had perfected it. Working around two children who seemed to know when they were trying to be intimate was perfect practice. Noah didn't quicken his pace once just rocking in and out of his lover. He knew Kurt was close when his moans changed pitch. He never lost his stunning beauty when he came. For Noah it was like the first tame when they were sitting in Kurt's garage during Christmas in a desk chair. Kurt arched below him and came with tears in his eyes. Noah soon followed filling Kurt. They panted chests heaving as it they'd just run a marathon. Noah didn't pull out till it was just too painful. Kurt whimpered clinging to him as he moved to get a wash cloth. "It's alright I'll be right back." Noah kissed him easing out of Kurt's hold. He wet a washcloth and returned first cleaning Kurt with long slow strokes then himself. "How do you feel?" Noah asked lying next to him.
Kurt was silent a moment. "Hungry." He replied making Noah laugh so hard he nearly rolled of their king-size bed.
"Let's throw on some sweats and eat the food I brought. You need it. Don't worry we'll get you back to a healthy weight." Noah rolled over pressing their foreheads together. "I'm so sorry."
"I'll be fine now. Just…if there is a next time just tell me."
"Yeah. Anything you want. Goes both ways alright. If you start feeling out of sorts just tell me."
"Promise, now feed me."
"Waffle whore." They laughed and got out of bed. For the first time in three months Kurt slept soundly in his own bed with his husband's arms curled around him. Not even his children were as happy to have Noah home where he belonged.