A/N: I apologize in advance for the extreme silliness and stupidity that is about to follow. That is all.

Disclaimer: The Vampire Diaries is the property of Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, and LJ Smith. The song 'Tonight, Tonight' belongs to the band Hot Chelle Ray.


It had been a full year since Katherine had set foot in Mystic Falls. It wasn't a big deal; she had simply gone back to the life that she'd been living before the whole Klaus attack/Stefan off-the-wagon craziness. She was living in California, shopping, and partying, and yeah, feeding. But not nearly as much as everyone would assume. She wasn't a ripper, and didn't particularly have a taste for that style of killing.

So she had been living it up, forgetting (again) about what went on in that tiny little town that had changed so much of her life.

And when her cell phone rang, and the caller ID announced STEFAN SALVATORE, she blinked a few times, before plastering a smirk on her face and answering.

"Hello lover."

"Where are you?" was the answer she received.

"And it's so wonderful to hear from you too."

"I'm serious. Where are you, I'm coming to see you."

"Well that's interesting. What's going on?"

She paused, and waited for Stefan to tell his story.

It's been a really really messed up week. Seven days of torture; Seven days of bitter.

"It's been six months since I've been back. And all in all, I've recovered pretty well. There were a few speed bumps, but nothing fatal. But this week, there was a blood drive at school, and a new vampire in town, and it took everything in me to keep control."

And my girlfriend went and cheated on me... She's a California dime, but it's time for me to quit her.

"And then... And then, I came home from school at lunch, because I needed to get out of there, and I heard something weird going on upstairs. I went to check out Damon's room, and Elena was in there... On top of Damon..."

"They promised after last time that it would never happen again!"

La la la; Whatever! La la la; It doesn't matter! La la la; Oh well! La la la...

"So where the hell are you? Because I'm getting out of town. I'm going to come and see you, and we're going to have a week of fun that I will forget immediately after due to copious amounts of alcohol!"

We're going at it tonight, tonight; There's a party on the rooftop, top of the world.

Tonight, tonight; And we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign!

I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it,

It's all right, all right; Tonight, tonight.

Katherine met Stefan at LAX in a pretty typical way. Or, at least, typical for her. She ran at him and leapt up, wrapping her legs around his waist and thrusting her tongue in his mouth. Far from the reaction she expected from him, he held her close, making quite the spectacle for passers by.

Before they even left the airport, she had grabbed his cell phone and confiscated it. When he tried to protest, she simply shook her head.

"Nothing good could possibly come from answering this while you're here."

They sped in Katherine's car to her hotel and fell into bed for hours, effectively helping Stefan to forget, at least for a while, the reason he had fled his hometown. And later on, she held him to his promise of fun and tons of liquor.

I woke up with a strange tattoo; Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket. And it kinda looks just like you, mixed with Zach Galifianakis.

Stefan peeled open one bleary eye, only to be assaulted by the sunlight peeking through the curtains. He flailed for a moment before tumbling off his side of the bed and onto the floor.

"Ow," he groaned, then paused. Falling off the bed shouldn't hurt, not for a vampire.

He looked down, examining his naked torso, and when his eyes fell on his ribs, he yelled, waking Katherine.

"What's wrong with you? Come back to bed," she mumbled bitterly, annoyed at being woken up.

"What-?" he squeaked, "What the hell is this?"

He pointed down, and Katherine finally opened her eyes. She blinked a few times, trying to see through her bleary eyes, and gave up, stepping from the bed and wobbling closer to examine the marred patch of skin.

"Oh... My... God!" She burst out laughing, scanning the image.

"It's a cat!" Stefan exclaimed breathlessly. "It's a cat with that guy from The Hangover!"

He was running his hands through his hair, panicked, as Katherine bounced around, spinning and laughing. When he saw her back, however, Stefan stopped what he was doing, and burst out laughing as well.

"It could be worse though; I could have that tattooed somewhere!"

"What are you talking about?" Katherine asked, turning in place trying to see what he was pointing at.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and walked her to a mirror, where she was able to see...

"Twilight? Why is Edward Cullen on my back? HOW COULD YOU LET ME DO THIS?"

La la la; Whatever! La la la; It doesn't matter! La la la; Oh well! La la la...

She lunged after Stefan, who dodged her. They chased each other around the hotel room (and the bed) for hours before finally giving in and hunting down a tattoo removal shop.

We're going at it tonight, tonight; There's a party on the rooftop, top of the world.

Tonight, tonight; And we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign!

I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it,

It's all right, all right; Tonight, tonight.

Back in Mystic Falls, Elena was watching the news at the boarding house, terrified that Stefan had gone back to his old ways. Damon was sitting in a chair across from her, a glass of bourbon in one hand, his eyes trained on her bobbing foot.

"Don't worry so much," he grumbled. "He's probably fine, just off brooding somewhere."

"Yeah, well, Stefan brooding sounds a lot more dangerous than it used to," she snapped.

Damon opened his mouth to answer, but then something on the screen caught his eye.

"Or we could both be wrong?"

He pointed at the television, and Elena turned to look, her eyes widening at the sight of Stefan and Katherine climbing the Hollywood sign.

"Oh... My... God..."

You got me singing like "Woah, come on, ohh, it doesn't matter, woah, everybody now, ohh...

"Stefan! Answer my phone and tell your brother to stop bothering me!" Katherine yelled from the shower.

Obediently, Stefan grabbed the pink handset, and held it to his ear.

"'Sup brother?"

"Stefan? What is wrong with you? You were on the national news! Across the country!"

"Oddly enough Damon, I know what the word 'national' means."

"Look, we're worried about you, and hanging out with Katherine probably isn't the healthiest thing for you right now, so why don't you come home, and -"

"How about you not hook up with my girlfriend. Oh, wait! You already did that! See you around, Damon."

Just don't stop; Let's keep the beat pumpin'; Keep the beat up; Let's drop the beat down.

It's my party; I'll dance if I want to; We can get crazy; Let it all out!

Just don't stop; Let's keep the beat pumpin'; Keep the beat up; Let's drop the beat down.

It's my party; I'll dance if I want to; We can get crazy; Let it all out!

"Another round!" seemed to be the only words that Stefan was capable of articulating with any modicum of accuracy. He and Katherine had effectively bar-crawled through over a dozen establishments, and had developed quite the following, given their propensity to paying for however many people were in the vicinity every time they ordered drinks.

However, people tend to disappear at the first sign of trouble. Say, for example, when a guy's older brother, or what appears to be the twin sister of a girl, show up to try and drag the two party animals away.

"Damon!" Stefan shouted, causing Katherine to whip around, "Elena! Come; drink; be merry!" He grabbed the two by their hands, dragging them toward the dance floor.

"Right on," Damon yelled back, reaching for an offered glass, but Elena tugged him back.

"We're here for a reason," she said loudly, trying to be heard above the pounding music.

The elder Salvatore sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes at the teenage girl, and turned toward his brother.

"STEFAN!" he bellowed, "WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS!"

It's you and me and we're runnin' this town, and it's me and you and we're shakin' the ground, and ain't nobody gonna tell us to go, 'cause this is our show!

"No!" Stefan yelled.

He was in an alley, facing his brother and his now ex-girlfriend, his arms crossed defensively across his chest.

"It isn't okay; it wasn't just a 'one time thing'; and I am most certainly not going to 'get over it' Damon!"

Elena elbowed Damon out of the way.

"Look, I get that you're upset. But this can't be the right way of dealing with it. You're just... burying it."

At that point, Katherine sauntered toward the group.

"Listen kids; he hasn't killed anyone, he's having fun. And the two of you," she pointed at Elena and Damon, "have no right to be judging him about anything. So why don't you toddle on back to Virginia, and leave Stefan to stew in peace."

She grabbed the younger Salvatore's hand, and the pair returned, alone, into the club.

Everybody! Whoa, come on, ohh, all you animals! Whoa, let me hear you now, ohh...

A few nights later, Stefan had been following Katherine through the underground club when he stopped abruptly, tugging her back a few steps.

"Is that -?"

She sipped her drink. "Yes... Yes it is."

"How is he still alive?"

Katherine rolled her eyes. "Come on... After all the rumours, you didn't think that Elvis was really dead, did you?"

Tonight, tonight; There's a party on the rooftop, top of the world.

Tonight, tonight; And we're dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign!

I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it,

It's all right, all right; Tonight, tonight.

It's all right, all right; Tonight, tonight.

Yeah it's all right, all right; Tonight, tonight.

After being in LA for over a week, Stefan was standing at the airport, alone, trying to forget Katherine's parting words.

"You know that they'll just screw you over and screw each other again, right?"

The vampire scowled, staring at the Departures screen, his cell phone in hand, readying himself to call Elena and tell her he was coming back.

Then he received a text message.

KATHERINE: My money's on you being back here by dinner.

A pause. A smirk. And Stefan spun on his heel, on his way back to Katherine's open arms.