Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Going Head to Head
The time Naruto had been waiting for had finally arrived. For Naruto, the battle with Sasuke had been nothing more than a means to a end. A little fun until the real target showed up. If he had managed to kill the bastard, it would have been a bonus bowl of ramen, but he knew Madara would ensure the safety of his new pawn after the recent loss of Pein. Dragging out the battle only ensured many witnesses of the battle would be able to see Sasuke's mangekyo sharingan in action. The next time the Uchiha popped up anywhere, his opponents would be well prepared. In the case of the young Uchiha's new master, Naruto knew he would not be so fortunate. Madara was here for a reason. A man doesn't stick to the shadows for decades and then reveal himself just to say hello. Screwing up the delivery of that message was important. As long as the five kages didn't react in matter Madara expects them to, the small victory went to Naruto. Naruto also knew he would get one shot, and one shot alone to send his own message to Madara. He would not miss it.
Madara stared down upon the assembled shinobi from behind his spiral mask with a very business like expression. Everything so far had played out mostly as he suspected it would. He only needed to keep the ball rolling, so in the end his plans could come to fruition. He had taken notice of Naruto, finding that the turning of Pein only seemed to be scratching the surface of what the young shinobi was truly capable of.
'Perhaps the boy is shaping up into a worthy opponent after all. No harm if things were to turn out interesting along the way, victory always tastes sweeter when achieved over a great adversary. As long as everything works out in my favor in the end, I want to see the full potential of Naruto Uzumaki.' thought Madara.
"So these are the five kages now, huh?" muttered Madara. "What a rather boring and predictable group of individuals. Nonetheless it please me greatly to have you all gathered here together."
"What the hell are you doing here Madara!" bellowed A.
"Oh, you know, this and that." casually replied the Akatsuki mastermind. "I had to pluck my fellow clansmen here out of the line of fire. Never would have thought Naruto Uzumaki of all people would have in it him to do the deed."
Naruto scoffed, "People change. And there's no use in pretending that you actually care about Sasuke. That moron is nothing more than a wind-up toy soldier you crank up with angst and hatred before unleashing him on a target."
Madara waved his free hand dismissively, "Your right to a degree about Sasuke. He's very easy to handle, but remember that is was his choice to follow me. He's been following down this path his entire life, he hasn't changed one bit. People don't change; people don't like to change. They like to sit in their little comfort zones and hope everything will be okay. They never learn anything, that's why history continues to repeat itself over and over again. Why do you think there have been three great ninja wars? But you Naruto Uzumaki, you're different. You cause people change around you. You also seem to reinvent yourself on the fly at the drop of a hat. I guess that makes you a freak! I like you!"
The creepy way in which he said the last sentence, freaked everyone out a little and caused Naruto to sweat-drop, "After figuring out your little Tobi routine, I didn't think you could become anymore of a creepy old bastard...I was wrong."
'Heh, you think that was creepy? You've spoken far too soon.' thought Kakashi. The silver haired man knew one way, and one way alone to hijack the control of the summit from Madara: unleash the most eccentric Jonin in the entire elemental nations.
"Hey, Gai is just me or did we stumble on the deal of the century? Two Uchiha's for the price of one!" exclaimed Kakashi with a hint of awe in his voice. "It's like an Icha Icha release party come early."
"Yosh! A deal so youthful, you didn't even have to bring a coupon!" shouted an enthusiastic Gai. "But this is a perfect opportunity, I can't pass it up! Using these two I can spread it!"
Kakashi turned to him befuddled and a bit fearful, "Spread what exactly?"
"The Springtime of Youth!" proclaimed the green beast.
Darui, like most the other non Konoha shinobi, was completely lost, "The spring time of what now?"
"An elder ninja and his pupil, reminds me so much of Lee and myself! It would be a shame to waste this grand opportunity to pass down the ways of youth to another pair of shinobi! Then they can take the youth and pass it on, and the youth will flourish throughout the world!"
Kakashi looked upon the spandex clad Jonin in horror, "It'll be one big youthful epidemic..."
"Yosh! That's exactly right!" exclaimed Gai, striking his nice guy pose with two thumbs and with the silhouettes of a hugging Lee and Gai, alongside a hugging Madara and Sasuke overshadowing him on the shore of a beach with a colorful sunset. Might Guy had succeeded in generating the most horrifying illusion ever created.
"Can't...look...away!" gasped Ao, his face contorted into one of horror.
Kankurou wanted to gouge his eyes out, "Too much spandex! Gah!"
Various other face were frozen in horror, while the observing Samurai of Mifune had all gone into the fetal position. Madara simply looked around in confusion, trying to figure out why he couldn't break the technique. Beneath his sunglasses, Naruto possessed a look of pure concentration, 'This one time, I'm banking on the power of youth...'
The Raikage was oblivious to it all, his brain focused on a single solitary purpose ever since Madara appeared.
"You think you can hunt down my brother like some kind of animal? I'll break your skull!" roared the A, his lightning armor surging to life. The leader of Kumo seemingly vanished from sight as he went full speed. He appeared in front of Madara, his fist passing right through the Uchiha and blowing out a chunk of the railing and wall behind him. Madara never even spared a glance at him, still puzzling over Gai's technique.
'You see the same thing, I saw?' Naruto signed to Kakashi.
'Nothing beyond what we already know. It's definitely high level time space manipulations.' responded Kakashi.
'If the Raikage can't get to him, than pure speed isn't the answer. I'd like to try more tests, but I doubt I could get more than one more shot without him figuring out what is going on. That might spook him off, and I need him here as long as possible...' thought Naruto.
"Well that's...I think that...Yeah, I got nothing. Excuse me for a moment, I must put this tool in place of safe keeping so it can be repaired." stated Madara as he warped away with Sasuke. Karin let out a sigh of relief from her hiding spot. She knew Sasuke getting mixed up with Madara would be bad news, and his words moments ago only confirmed it. With the Kages distracted and Madara taking Sasuke away, she took this to be her moment to escape. However, her freedom was snatched away a moment later when Madara appeared next to her and warped away again.
Madara considered dumping off the dead wait in his pocket dimension, but he had no further use for Sasuke at the moment. He elected to deposit them in a hidden base. He vanished a moment later as Black Zetsu appeared with Juugo and Suigetsu. Madara warped back in with a white zetsu clone that used its spores to start replenishing their chakra supply.
"Rest up for now. You four are done for the moment." ordered Madara before he warped away again.
"How could he have become like this?" muttered Sasuke, unable to fathom the seemingly brand new Naruto he encountered. "That couldn't have been Naruto. There's no way the Naruto I know could have gained such incredible fighting power in such a short period of time. Not with out relying on the Kyuubi anyway."
For Karin the picture was becoming far clearer to her, and she began to grasp how dangerous a game Sasuke was playing. The first was Madara, the way he treated them, he always seemed to get Sasuke to do exactly as he wanted. First going after the Eight-tailed beasts, and now invading the Hokage summit, both were suicide missions. The events of the summit made it crystal clear, when it turned out that Danzo wasn't even the Hokage. She had her suspicions at first when she couldn't find them, but when Madara showed up at the last minute she knew, he'd known this all along. A high stakes chess game was being played, and Sasuke didn't realize and didn't care that he was nothing more than a pawn to this man.
'How long is it until he convinces you to turn against me? You've were ready to abandon Juugo and Suigetsu. Would you have down the same to me, if I wasn't useful to you at that moment?' she thought while glancing at the dark haired teen.
Deep down the redhead already knew the answer to that question; she just didn't want to acknowledge it.
"Bring back the Uchiha! I'm not done with that asshole!" bellowed A as Madara reappeared at the summit.
Madara waved off his demand, "Maybe some other time, we have more important things to discuss."
"Why is Sasuke Uchiha so important to you, anyway?" questioned Gaara.
"A sharingan with the ability to activate Susanoo is pretty rare." explained Madara. "I couldn't pass up having someone with that kind of power in my control. I sent him here for the purpose of training his eyes up further by combating the five kages. I didn't expect the nine tails to show up and almost kill him. I hoped he might have weakened you enough so I could take you hostage, but it seems that was too much to expect."
"That is by far, the most half-assed plan I have ever heard of." deadpanned Tsunade.
"And why is that?" questioned Madara.
The blond Hokage shook her head, "You act as if Sasuke was as powerful as Pein was. Pein almost single handedly defeated the entire village of Konoha. Sasuke Uchiha is probably barely at the level needed to put up a decent fight against a single Kage. You expect him to give the five of us a good enough fight to take all of us all as hostages? We've been following the movements and actions of that brat very carefully. Outside of Deidara he has yet to defeat an S-class opponent in a evenly matched fight. From what our intelligence found, even that was a close call. Orochimaru was sick, dying old man when he 'defeated' him. To cap it off, we now know that Itachi died due to an incurable illness. Nothing in his track record of skills lends credence to him be able to accomplish the task you sent him here for."
"On top of that he failed to capture the Eight-tails for you." added Naruto. "Just because he acquired a new level of sharingan, doesn't make him qualified to take on the best of the best. Fancy eyes don't make you a top flight shinobi."
Madara humored him, "Then what do they make you?"
"An asshole." deadpanned Naruto. "Believe me, I know."
Madara shrugged, "Meh, even if it was long shot, taking the Five Kages hostage was too good an opportunity to pass up."
The Mizukage was puzzled by his statement, "What could you possibly gain from taking the five Kages hostage?"
"I just want my Moon's Eye Plan to be executed smoothly." casually replied Madara. "But, first there is something else that has me curious. Tell me Naruto, how did you turn Nagato against me?"
Naruto smirked, "You act is if you had him in control in the first place. Nagato never viewed himself as beneath you, you were simply a means to his own ends. He was not as fragile as he led you to believe, he simply could not see another alternative to achieving his goals."
The spiral masked man rolled his non visible eye, "You could have simply said you weren't going to tell me."
Naruto ignored him, prepared to demand his own answers, "You asked your question, now let me ask mine. What really happened the night of the Kyuubi massacre?"
Madara folded his hands behind his head as he responded, "Konoha was in possession of my favorite pet, and that was simply the opportune time for me to take it back and exact revenge on the village. I didn't count on the Yondaime being able to best me that night though. Broke my control over the Kyuubi and forced me to flee. It was a good thing he was forced to give up his life to the save the beast and seal it again, he may have become a major problem in the future."
"You have been better off leaving my father alive." retorted Naruto. "Trust me, I'm a much bigger headache."
"So you are..." muttered the ancient Uchiha. Madara then told the tail of how he stoked suspicions about the Uchiha clan possibly being responsible for unleashing the Kyuubi that caused the village to start ostracizing them. In turn he stoked the fires of rebellion within the clan for this perceived injustice. It all came to head with the village being on the brink of civil war and meeting with Itachi. He told the young shinobi of the havoc he caused in the Mist Village with their civil war and how Konoha would destroy itself after already being weakened by the Kyuubi assault. Itachi made the bold move of offering up the slaughter of his clan to Madara to preserve the village as whole.
Kakashi summed it all up, "How shrewd of you. Not only did you get revenge on your own clan, but you deprived Konoha of its next genius shinobi after you already caused the death of the fourth. You did all this to prevent a civil war that you caused. Why go through all this trouble? What's your endgame?"
Madara grinned beneath his mask, "My endgame? It's quite ingenious really. My goal is to achieve a 'complete form' in which everything is united. Everything will become one with me! You see long ago, when the Sage of Six Paths was still alive, he stopped a monster of a great, near apocalyptic proportions. This monster was called the Juubi."
A wasn't buying it, "Juubi? A ten tailed beast? You must be bluffing."
Madara shook his head, "I assure you, I am not. The Juubi was a monster that was the origin of the Tailed Beasts. The Sage of Six Paths sealed the Juubi into his own body and acted as the very first Jinchuuriki. He then sealed the body of the ten tailed beast up on the moon, the moon which he created himself. On his deathbed, the Sage of Six paths was worried that the Juubi shall roam again, therefore, he divided the chakra of the ten tailed beast to nine different beasts on their own, known today as the bijuu. My plan is simple, I will collect every tailed beast there is and fuse them together and seal it in me. And with that power, I will ascend to the moon and fuse with the Juubi to project the most powerful genjutsu, Mugen Tsukuyomi. With that, there will be neither conflict nor wars, all within that illusion, shall fall into a dream like trance. I think it's a rather brilliant plan."
Mei shook her head in disbelief, "Brilliant? You threaten the world with slavery and death, and you call it brilliant!"
Naruto scowled, "You arrogant bastard. I can see right through the one major flaw in your plan! Even if we served you up the bijuu on a silver platter it would fail."
Gaara nodded in agreement, "He's right, it's doomed from the start."
Madara humored him, "And just how will it fail?"
Gaara responded, "Not just any one can become a jinchuuriki. Just look at all the failed attempts of creating containers for the different tailed beasts. The best containers were always young people, children or newborns, with still developing chakra coils. Eventually the strength of the container would grow to match the strength of the beast, enabling the host to subdue it. You are not powerful enough to contain the beast."
Kakashi continued, "Subduing the Kyuubi with your sharingan is one thing, but trying to control the beasts power when it is tied your body is an entirely different scenario. The beast will put up a fight and try to influence you. You say the Sage of the Six Paths only possessed the power to hold the Juubi within himself; you are obviously much weaker than him. You're much weaker than you were in your prime. If you tried to seal the Juubi into your body, you will be destroyed and unleash the beast on the rest of the world."
"Tell me what you are really planning, because there is no way I'm buying that crock of bullshit." demanded Naruto.
Madara didn't respond, he stood motionless for few seconds before shrugging.
"You old fool! You enjoy keeping us all in suspense like this!" bellowed Naruto. "I want you to tell me what you're really planning! Start talking!"
"Well..." began Madara, before he suddenly shook his head. "No, it's pointless."
Naruto wasn't going to take no for answer, "Look you senile old man, I have no intention of asking you again. You answer me right now!"
Madara casually dismissed him, "As I said before it's pointless. You could never understand the true nature of my plans."
The young sage suddenly realized that Madara's refusal to answer was all the answer he needed, "You pathetic retched has been excuse for a ninja! If you let the Juubi free it will be the end of all of us! And you don't even care! You can't pass up a half-assed chance to play god!"
Onoki's eyes widened in shock, "You can't be that insane, to possibly bring about the end of the world just so you can play god?"
Madara waved his hand dismissively, "Believe what you will. Hand over the eight tails and nine tails, unless you want to face war."
"If you think we'll hand over control of this world on silver platter to you, you truly have lost your mind." declared a scowling Tsunade.
Mei nodded in agreement, "What is left for mankind if we can't strive for our hopes and dreams? I've seen the damage you've caused in my own village first hand. I'd never entrust anything to your vile greedy hands."
"You are a delusional madman, the greatest criminal this world has ever known." proclaimed Gaara. "We do not negotiate with criminals. There will be no compromises for you. No compromises and no mercy."
Madara cocked his head to the side, "So, that's how you want to play it, huh?"
A smirk formed on Naruto's face as he let out a low chuckle, "It was an asinine request anyway. You're demanding the Five Kages to hand over something they don't have. The power of the Kyuubi was entrusted to me and me alone. No one else has a say in what I do with it. I don't care if the whole world turns against me and I have to carry the battle against you on my shoulders alone, you'll never get the Kyuubi from me. I'll die and drag it down to hell with me before that happens. As long as you lose, I win."
Madara chuckled, "I've been plotting this all out before you were a twinkle in your grandfather's eye, boy. If you think you can beat me, go ahead and try."
"Why wait? Let's settle this right here and right now." challenged Naruto.
"Patience, my young friend. Your fated battle is not with me, but with Sasuke. As I faced Hashirama in battle, you shall face Sasuke." countered Madara.
"I don't give a rats ass about Sasuke. Who ever the hell wants to fight him, can have him. I'm sure the Raikage wouldn't mind cracking that bastard's skull a few times." retorted Naruto, causing A to give an affirmative grunt.
Madara shook his head, "You will not avoid this battle. You and Sasuke will fight; it is inevitable. You are the Senju representative, and Sasuke is the representative of the Uchiha. Like the sons of the Rikudo Sennin, the elder, who inherited the eyes of the sage, the power of his chakra and spiritual energy and the younger, who inherited his body; his willpower and physical energy, you two will fight on two sides. It's your fate."
Naruto grinned, "Fate? Destiny? If that's what you're basing all your plans on then you've already lost. You should just surrender right here and right now. You can't win."
"You know, you're truly a disgrace. Been alive for over a century and yet you still possess the temperament of a foolish child." stated the Tsuchikage.
Madara let out a snort of amusement, "If pretending that I care what you think, makes you fell better, then go right ahead."
"Alright, you got this Naruto. Steady now, this is it." Naruto murmured to himself as he removed his Sage cape again and took a few depth breaths to focus himself. The large crash the weighted garment made caught everyone's attention, 'This one is for you Dad! And Ero-sennin too! I've come too far to fail now...'
Gamabunta took another puff from his pipe as he watched Naruto continue to push his limits. The brat trained so hard, he figured the least he could do was watch over him. Especially with the insane regimens he put himself through. Currently on top of the heavily weighted clothing the blond was wearing, he had a couple clones practicing their control over gravity by amplifying the gravity in the small training area he'd marked off.
"He's been at it for hours, isn't it time for a break?" muttered Gamakichi as he hopped down next to his father.
Gamabunta let out an amused snort, "You know how hard headed he is. Just like his godfather and his father that way. Training until they collapse is they only way they operate."
Naruto dropped to a knee, breathing heavily with multiple beads of sweat pouring down his face. His weighted sage cape and flak jacket ripped and scuffed in several places to match the assortment of scrapes and bruises covering his body. Looking up towards the skies the troubles of his mind came to life, as a mirage of Madara appeared in the sky.
"What's the matter Naruto? Growing weary already?" taunted the orange spiral masked illusion. "Looks like the nine tales will be returned to me soon enough. Hahaha!"
Naruto gritted his teeth, "I don't fear you Madara!"
Letting out a guttural roar, his chakra cloak flared to life and a shadow clone appeared in front of him in the same state. The clone let out a grunt before rushing him and engaging him in hand-to-hand. The original and copy were evenly matched as they traded intense blows for several seconds before jumping back to create space between each other. Sending each other an identical glare, they formed a rasengan and rushed forward into a head on collision with the jutsu. It was a stalemate as the techniques collided and they struggled to overpower one another. Eventually both spheres destabilized, triggering a explosion. They both were knocked back on their asses in opposite directions, each letting out a grunt of pain before the clone went up in smoke.
Within seconds, Naruto was scrambling back to his feet, "Alright then, round two!"
With a mighty roar, the sage's white chakra cloak sprung to life. He hunched over at the waste slightly, bringing his hands together in front of his body.
Madara was slightly intrigued by the bold display, "Show me the strength of your will of fire, Naruto Uzumaki."
"You're making the same mistaken assumptions Sasuke did. I thought you would have figured it out by now, but I guess that was just too much to ask. So allow me, to reintroduce myself!" bellowed Naruto he let out another roar, increasing the power and intensity of his chakra cloak as a white sphere of chakra suddenly appeared in his hands. Kakashi clung onto the floor with his chakra as he shielded his face with his arm; the intensity of Naruto's chakra had pushed everyone else standing close away.
'The strength of his pure chakra is just incredible...' thought the copy ninja.
"Ah, that's right. You are going by a new moniker now. All that chakra you're building up is quite impressive, Sennin. So just what exactly is it you plan to do with it?" questioned Madara.
"You know, that's a really good question." retorted a smirking Naruto.
"Whatever he's planning on doing is way too big for an enclosed space like this!" shouted Kankurou.
"He's crazy, but he's not that crazy!" responded Temari. "Right?"
Gaara didn't respond, only trusting his instincts. Naruto had warned him before, but with those dark sunglasses covering his eyes, it was hard to get a read on what the blond was thinking.
Naruto's face abruptly contorted into a scowl, "Now Madara."
Instead unleashing a powerful destructive technique like most of them expected, the sphere in his hands flared, emitting a blinding flash of bright light, "Hikari Tekidan! (Flash Grenade)"
The distraction caused by the bright light prevented anyone from seeing the hidden sealing arrays on the center of the walls, ceiling and floor activate as an intense weight suddenly descended on everyone the room. The blinding light also made Madara's exposed sharingan inactive for an instant. The instant was long enough for Naruto's massive increase of gravity to take hold of the Uchiha before he could escape via time-space migration.
'So far so good.' thought Kakashi. 'Gai's distraction allowed the camouflaged shadow clones to plant the tags in the right places.'
"This pressure...what is it?" gasped Darui.
"I can't...even...move an inch." wheezed Shi. "It's hard...to breathe."
"You two need to step up your training if you can't handle this." grunted the Raikage.
The two would have shaken their heads if they had the strength to move.
"Is this... your grand plan?" mocked Madara. "Add little... extra weight... to make it hard to move?"
"The funny thing about intense gravity, not only does it make it really hard to move even muscle, it slows down everything, including your chakra!" retorted Naruto as he turned the gravity up another notch. This caused nearly everyone who had been standing, to fall to drop to a knee.
"Yes, but...this is nothing more...than a stalemate!" wheezed Madara. "You can't crush me...without crushing everyone else in here. You...don't...have...the heart...to do...something like that."
Naruto grinned, "Who said anything...about me...providing the final blow?"
With great effort, Naruto suddenly dropped to a knee himself, revealing Kakashi standing behind him. His silver haired sensei had a hand on his shoulder, and the blond was shielding him from the effects of the room's gravity with a thin shell of his condensed chakra.
"So, how about it Naruto? Shall I grant him the coup de grace?" asked Kakashi as he revealed his Mangekyo Sharingan.
Naruto's grinned widened, "By all means."
Madara grimaced, 'He is far more capable than what his track record suggests. A well played hand indeed. If they had another means of dealing a death blow, I might actually be in some serious trouble.'
Kakashi activated Kamui, aiming to create a barrier to send away the chest of Madara. He was unsure the possible effects of trying to take his head, due to Madara's own sharingan, so he targeted the other primary vital organ, along with a few others for good measure. Their plan was excellent, almost foolproof. If it was anyone but Madara, they might have succeeded. Naruto's hold on the gravity prevented Madara from opening the portal to transfer himself between dimensions, however, this became irrelevant once Kakashi's technique opened the folds of time and space. The only problem for Madara was the separation of whatever was in Kakashi's Kamui barrier during his escape. The Uchiha anticipated this however, not making a single movement after the activation of Naruto's gravity technique. He never moved until the last moment as the portal opened, shifting the aim of Kakashi's barrier to his left arm. As the entire body of Madara warped away, Naruto released his hold over the gravity, knowing they had failed.
"If I didn't feel like Akatsuchi just sat on me, I'd give them a big pat on the back." muttered Kurotsuchi.
Ignoring the throbbing pain in his hip, Onoki narrowed his eyes at the spot Madara just vanished from, "Don't get you hopes up just yet..."
"That wasn't supposed to happen." muttered Kakashi, breathing heavily from the fatigue caused by Kamui.
Naruto remained silent staring at the spot where Madara vanished, scowling and clenching his fists in frustration.
"Man, that was one hell of plan they cooked up." muttered Chojuro.
"Don't be fooled. It is not over. That man is not dead." stated Mei with a frown.
Naruto sneered, baring his fang like canines, "Damn you Madara..."
Right on cue, the Uchiha's trademark spiral like time space fold ripples formed and Madara reappeared. The Akatsuki mastermind's mannerisms where eerily calm despite the fact that he no longer possessed a left arm.
"I'll admit that was an excellent attempt, however, the Kamui cannot kill me." taunted Madara. "Now are you two through playing games?"
Kankurou and Temari were shell shocked.
"They do all that, and only manage to take off his arm?" muttered Temari. "An arm he doesn't even seem to miss."
"And that didn't even faze him! How do you beat a guy like that?" added her brother.
"Your little tag team performance was quite amusing, but I'm afraid I have run out of patience." coolly stated Madara as he walked towards the Konoha pair who robbed him of his arm.
Naruto's eyes widened as he recognized Kakashi as Madara's target.
"Move it sensei! Now!" shouted the sage.
Before anyone could even flinch, Madara appeared in front of Naruto, decking the blond with a punch that sent him face first into the floor.
"All too easy." muttered Madara as he turned to Kakashi. "I could rip out that troublesome eye of yours in fair exchange for the inconvenience of losing my arm. However, your sharingan eye is so inferior to the other sharingan eyes under my control, there is no point in taking it. So, just for you, the price has gone up. The road of life ends here for you, Kakashi; you have reached a dead end. Goodbye."
"AAAAHHH!" cried out Kakashi as the ancient Uchiha vanished and reappeared again, this time with his remaining arm outstretched and embedded through the upper right portion of Kakashi's chest cavity. The wound emitted a massive spray of blood as the Uchiha reflexively flexed his hand that was now reaching out the other side of Kakashi's body.
Gai looked upon the scene in horror, "No! You fiend!"
Kakashi continued to cry out from the pain, causing Madara to frown beneath his mask, "You can stop laying it on so thick. Why would you do such a foolish thing anyway?"
Everyone was puzzled by what he said until Kakashi went up and puff of smoke to reveal a smirking Naruto haven taken the blow just below his right collarbone. On the ground where Naruto once laid, was Kakashi.
"Because..." grunted Naruto, coughing up a little blood in the process. "That old grandma we call the Hokage hits a hundred times harder than you."
The next moment would go down in the history books for generations to come.
The blond sage grinned at Madara, "You know, I liked you better when you were less serious. So, let put smile back on beneath that mask. You probably heard this one before, hell you might have even came up with it, but it's classic. An ANBU Captain and a hunter-nin are taking a piss. Noticing that hunter-nin goes to leave with out washing up the Captain says, 'In the regular ANBU, they teach us to wash our hands.' The hunter-nin turns back to the Captain with a smirk and says..."
Madara and several other men in the room couldn't help themselves as they all instinctively finished the joke with Naruto, "...In the hunter corps, they teach us not to piss on our hands!"
The next moment was so quick, so brutal, so unexpected, a few people missed it because of the joke. Despite having an arm sticking out his chest, Naruto grabbed Madara by the shoulders and delivered a vicious head butt. A head butt that was so powerful it forced Madara's arm back through his body and sent him crashing into the nearby wall. All the shinobi and samurai were stunned by the rapid turn of events.
The Mizukage summed up what they all were thinking with a classic cliche, "Now that's what I call using your head..."
"You really are an interesting guy." muttered Madara as he picked himself up. "Consider this my declaration of the Fourth Shinobi World War. The next time we meet, it will be on the battlefield. No if you'll excuse me, I need to reattach an arm."
With a bizarre salute, the masked man vanished into the unknown. With Madara's departure the all took a moment to gather their thoughts and resettle into some semblance of order. Tsunade went over to heal Naruto, but found the sage was already using a concentrated burst of the Kyuubi's chakra to handle the wound. Naruto ended up taking a seat in front of the wall behind, the Hokage's seat. He and Kakashi both waiting for the food pills the Hokage gave them to kick in.
The Tsuchikage let out a sigh, "The Fourth Great Shinobi war, my goodness...what now?"
"A five village shinobi alliance must be formed." declared Gaara. "It's the only way to combat the power of the seven bijuu."
Tsunade frowned, "That's fine in theory, but the Raikage has already voiced his displeasure with forming such an alliance."
A narrowed his eyes, "No harm has come to my brother, even so, I will not allow the Akatsuki to have their way any longer. They have taken too much already! Let's form an alliance to settle this threat as quickly as possible."
It was a bit hard for the old Tsuchikage to fathom, "All five village working together, I guess drastic times call for drastic measures."
"If we're in agreement about the alliance, the first measure of business is to decide what we are going to do about the Kyuubi and Hachibi. We can not permit Madara to obtain to Kyuubi and Hachibi, to prevent his Moon's Eye Operation. It seems prudent that we located the Hachibi and hide both of them away from him." suggested Mei.
"You're right, protecting them is a vital object in this war." stated Gaara. "I suspect one of the reasons he has declared war is to lure out the remaining jinchuuriki."
Tsunade shook her head, "Don't fall into his trap. You can't fight a war, playing not to lose. He mostly intended to create a state of panic in order for us to hide the Jinchuuriki away some place. Then all he would need to do is discover the location and ambush it while our forces are spread across the front lines."
Onoki nodded in agreement, "Not counting the Hachibi and Kyuubi as valuable part of our military forces would be foolish. They would be invaluable in combating whatever Madara has up his sleeve for the other seven bijuu under his control."
A sweat-dropped, "My brother is not the type of person to follow along with any sort of plans we might prepare. He could bring chaos to the battlefield."
"You think that knucklehead is going to be any better? Just look at what he pulled off now?" countered Tsunade. "We're better off having them somewhere where we can keep a close eye on them."
Naruto scoffed, "When he asked why I would do such a foolish thing, he wasn't referring to me saving Kakashi."
Tsunade's eyes narrowed and she nailed her fellow blond in the forehead with the closest object she could find, "You idiot! That's just makes it worse! You could have used a shadow clone, but you let yourself almost lose lung just to hit him!"
Temari shot him an incredulous look, "Why would you do something so absolutely insane?"
Kankurou shrugged, "This is Naruto we're talking about. He probably did it just so he could head butt him."
Mifune interjected, "Let's get back to the topic at hand here. Before us here is the first great shinobi alliance, its power too is a huge unknown quantity. Also, we samurai will take part in this battle. Madara is taking a great risk himself by coming to the negotiating table like this. It would seem that the situation is not entirely in his favor. "
Naruto let out a grunt of annoyance, "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Madara would not reveal himself to world like this without some ulterior motive behind it. He knew no one would negotiate with him, and he knew we would be going to war. The man thinks ten thousand steps ahead. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security."
Kakashi voiced his own disagreement, "You can't treat this like a normal war. This isn't a matter of lining up as many forces as possible. The Akatsuki rely on Shinobi of monstrous capabilities. They formerly possessed a single shinobi who could wipe out a single village. The only reason I'm alive today is because we possessed a shinobi on our side of equal monstrous capability. Let's also not forget that the last great ninja war was essentially decided by a single man with the capability to destroy an army."
Onoki reaffirmed his position, "I'd like to put our best foot forward. The various jinchuuriki were captured because they were allowed or forced into isolation. Repetition of the same practices would be foolish."
"I'll concede this point if we agree upon the pair of containers being forced to shadow one of us at all times." proposed Mei.
"I'll agree to that." stated Tsunade.
"Very well, I agree." said Gaara with grunt.
"That's fine." affirmed A.
"If that point is agreed upon, then we need to determine who will lead this alliance." stated Mifune. "Who among you is the most qualified to lead?"
Onoki rolled his eyes in annoyance, "You were the one airing a laundry list of our faults earlier."
Noticing Naruto was about to speak, Kakashi cut him off, "Naruto, you just got promoted. I don't think they are going to let you run the alliance."
"I wasn't going to do that!" barked Naruto. "I was going to point out that the Akatsuki has employed high ranking missing-ninja from only four of the five villages. The inner-workings and village secrets of only one place has not been compromised. That village is Kumo. It is the most secure. Besides, just look at the Raikage compared to everybody else. They're all scary in their own way, but he's only one at first glance that makes you think, 'Man, he might just reach out and crush my head like a grape with his bare hands.' Plus he looks like some sort of world champion fighter. That's got to be worth something."
He then noticed Kakashi was eye-smiling at him, "What?"
He turned his head forward and noticed that everyone was silent for the moment, staring at him and listening to their little conversation. Most were puzzled by his mismatching of clever insight and complete nonsense.
Mifune chuckled, "World Champion appearance aside, I do believe Raikage-dono is a good choice. Especially now that we know the eight-tails is still alive and he has regained his composure. He can control his brother the eight-tails and already seems to have the respect of the nine-tails. Those two are a major key to our success."
"You alright with that, Tsuchikage, Mizukage, and Kazekage?" questioned Tsunade.
"I've got no problem." replied Gaara.
"There's no time for arguments, I'll trust the Raikage." stated Mei.
"No issues, here." affirmed Onoki with a grin. "We'll all have to put aside our differences and cooperate. If the shinobi world ends, then I'll have no one to fight with. I guess we have to go inform those Daiymo fellas now."
"You know one of these days, I'm going to figure out how to stop running my big mouth." deadpanned Naruto
"Is that right?" replied an amused Kakashi.
"I got no chance in hell, right?" quipped Naruto.
Kakashi shrugged, "Yeah, it's probably genetic."
Naruto leaned back and closed his eyes, "Hey! Look on the bright side! At least, I'm not addicted to reading porn books."
"You really should get that checked out." muttered Kakashi, noticing everyone was listening to them again.
"No, I think I'm alright with it." replied Naruto with a smirk.
A random observation I made when writing this chapter: Madara is eerily similar to Cell from DBZ. Both desiring to become 'complete'. Them needing numbered beings to do so (Seventeen & Eighteen vs. Eight tails and Nine tails). Both being displaced from what should be their actual timelines, Madara should have died a long time ago in the past and Cell being from the future. They both have gained strength from leeching off of other people. They both hide away in secrecy before revealing themselves at opportune times. Just thought that was weird...Cell is much more compelling than Madara though. He at least has a purpose, Madara just seems to be a bitter old man when it comes down to it.