Okay, remember when I said I'd cut the last chapter in half? I've done it again. Mainly because I am going to Melbourne tomorrow (leaving at 4am and it's a 3 day drive - please, someone save me!) and I don't know if I'll have wifi there. So, heads up. This was kind of sudden, sorry for the short notice.
If I don't have internet, I'll just keep typing and barrage you with updates when I get back in January, okay?
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the other multitudes of things referenced in this chapter.
Who you gonna call?
No, seriously. There's something going on. The inhabitants of Hogwarts need help, ASAP. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Whenever you read a book or watch a movie it always seems like every character has a life changing event. Frodo Baggins was given the One Ring. Dorothy went up in a tornado. Peter Parker was bitten by a spider and Snow White had a brutal attempt on her life by her step mother. Normal people don't tend to have these events. They just tend to go through life, changing gradually.
But Tyler Mackenzie can remember the very moment his life changed. It was quite easy really, because when that owl flew through the window it somehow managed to land on a fork and catapult a piece of bacon right onto his big sister's nose. Gina had screamed something hilarious that Dad had made her apologise for.
Since then, his life had been one big mess. Sure, the magic was awesome - just imagine never having to actually look for the TV remote again! - but everything was just so weird. Honestly, why do all the guys have to wear clothes that look like dresses when you squint? And they hadn't even heard of Batman, for goodness sake.
However despite the coolness and the silly little cons, there was one thing that would not leave his mind since Professor McGonagall had transformed the family cat into a brand new hoover; if magic was real, then what else?
What about the demons from the bible that his Nana and Gramps kept warning him about? What about the boogeyman? Jurassic Park? Heffalumps and Woozles? Moving shadows that devoured human flesh or ancient mummies or the zombie apocalypse? For goodness sake, but what if Jaws was real?
Tyler decided right then he'd never swim in the sea ever again.
Voicing this thought caused his Mum to berate his Dad for letting him watch such films but the way Tyler saw it, if he was old enough to go to a magic school on his own he was old enough to watch aliens burst out of peoples stomachs.
But oh man, aliens! What if aliens were real? ET phone home?
He was eleven for goodness sake, not five. He was totally old enough to handle himself.
Which was why he knew he could handle exactly what the magic school had to throw at him. Self-steering boats? Sure. Ghosts? Well, they weren't even scary. Talking hat with telepathic abilities reminiscent of that of Prof. Charles Xavier? Done. He might have been a little disappointed to not be in the 'brave' house but if being in Hufflepuff meant he could have awesome friends like the Spock to his Kirk, then that was fine by him.
Especially once he was told that the Gryffindors were more like Han Solo while the Hufflepuffs were more like R2D2. Despite the argument that R2D2 should be in Ravenclaw both due to his smartness and his colour, most believed his loyalty was what made him brilliant. And Tyler would much prefer to be an awesome robot with the best sarcasm ever than the guy that got turned into a statue, even if Han was pretty cool.
All Tyler's friends complained about homework. And yeah, okay, writing essays was the worst form of torture ever invented since cliffhangers at the end of novels, but it was about magic! He was writing essays about magic! He wouldn't change who he was and what he was doing for anything!
Unless, of course, he got to be Iron Man. But that was different. Duh.
But the work wasn't the problem.
The Castle was out to get him, he was sure of it.
There was no other possible explanation.
Once you've eliminated the impossible, what ever remains, however improbable must be the truth. That's what Gramps (not bible-but-he-gives-me-chocolate-cake Gramps (mum's dad) the other Gramps (dad's dad)) used to tell him.
There was no way the attacks were random. Doors that were fine the day before but now caused him to slam into a wall; trick steps that worked perfectly well for everyone else but seemed to sink away beneath his foot; suits of armor that happened to fall down right as he passed. Honestly, he had more bruises now than he had when he'd stolen Gina's diary.
It couldn't be a coincidence. That was impossible. The whole place was trying to kill him, or at least make his life as difficult as possible.
At first the idea was great. He was like an explorer in a haunted castle, surrounded by the spirits of the undead. (Literally. There were ghosts every where.) It was his quest, his mission to navigate the uncharted corridors and come out the other end alive and on time for his classes.
But after his five hundredth time stuck on a staircase that decided to move, he wasn't so sure it was as fun as he thought. He really was covered in bruises, he'd had to go to Madame Promfrey for a broken nose one time he rounded a corner and bit fast and hit a trick step AND a trick door in one hit. He started to find it annoying. Barry Hodge, his friend from Ravenclaw who was a pureblood and so knew all about this stuff (or so Tyler thought anyway) helped him out a bit but it was still terribly frustrating. He'd tell himself it was a small price to pay to be able to do magic (and really, it was) but he began to understand that whole thing about more magic powers being a curse. He was pretty sure some super hero had said that, whether it was Spider-man or Superman or something else. Normal might be boring, but it least it was easy. Plus, you know, the availability of Marvel comics.
But then the past week everything suddenly got even worse.
It was clear that the Gryffindors were all going mad, no matter what that seventh year had said about this time of year the other day. The Slytherins seemed to continuously change colour and randomly declare their love for the professors while the professors themselves grew more and more on edge. Not to mention that the house-elves spontaneously started ice skating in the Hall the day before.
Imagine that, elves! They looked nothing like Tolkien had described and they definitely got drunk a lot easier than Legolas did. (Or so he assumed, he never actually saw how much they drank but considering there were so many of them and the castle was not full floor to ceiling with bottles it was the only explanation.) Tyler's nerves were shot. He'd been sure he heard a T-Rex yesterday in the library but it only turned out to be Madam Pince.
But it didn't hurt to be prepared, right? Especially not since he'd decided everything was possible.
Still, that didn't mean that arriving at breakfast to find the staff table was completely empty and the Gryffindors were having a food fight wasn't a surprise.
"What's going on?" he asked, slipping into a seat beside his friend Millie Simmons.
"None of the teachers have arrived so of course the idiots in that house have decided to act like three year olds," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Hey, don't be mean," said a third year as he reached across to grab some beans. "I heard a Slytherin started it anyway."
"I'm not being mean, I'm being realistic," said Millie, but the third year had already turned back to his own friends. "Anyway if a Slytherin started it then that's even worse. They shouldn't retaliate and I don't see any Slytherins over there."
Tyler had a good response, he really did, but he was interrupted by Barry as he collapsed into a seat next him.
"Oh my Merlin," he groaned. "That was a nightmare. I think I am going to die."
"What're you doing over here?" asked Tyler. "Ravenclaw table's that way."
"But everyone in Ravenclaw is as dead as I am - I don't know how those Gryffindors have so much energy, they're from a tower too - and besides, I have something awful to tell you."
"What?" asked Millie.
"Well, I was coming down from the common room, you know how hard that was this morning, and I passed a couple of Gryffindor Seventh years. The Head Boy, Potter, and his best mate Black. They were muttering about something and I wasn't trying to listen but I admit I was a little curious but then they said it!"
"Said what?" asked Millie.
Oh God, no. Tyler had a feeling he knew where this was going. No, come on, don't think it don't think it puppy dogs and rainbows and that Gryffindor just got beans in his hair Slytherins seem remarkably angry something about thunderbolts Barry looks real upset why on Earth aren't there any teachers not even Filch at least there was no Sorting Hat insults today James Potter Head Boy has a black eye-
"THE GAME!" exclaimed Barry.
There was a collective groan up and down the table.
"You're going to pay for that, Hodge!"
"Aw man, I was doing so well," groaned Tyler. "I had it all under control-"
"Let me guess, reciting every ship in the 'starmeet' again?" said Millie.
"No, and anyway it's the Starfleet."
"Whatever. Barry I am still going to kill you."
"Ah well, every one is reset now," said Barry. "Anyway, I don't see why the Gryffindors were talking about it. Surely they don't have the brain capacity to control their thoughts."
"Typical Ravenclaw," laughed Tyler. "No but really, I'd have thought that would give them an advantage. Only able to think of one thing at a time, see. Makes it easier to keep the focus away from The Game."
"Aaaaand I've lost The Game again," groaned Barry. "Okay, change of subject. Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Montana-"
"Oh not again," groaned Millie, letting her head fall to the table. "What's the point, you're English."
"You never know when it might be useful," said Barry. "But I suppose I can do something different…satu, dua, tiga, empat, lima, enam, tujuh…"
"Now he's going to count to a thousand again," sighed Tyler. "You didn't help, Millie! At least America has only fifty states!"
"Ah well," she sighed. "We'd best be off, anyway. Class starts soon."
"Is there any point with no teachers?"
"I wonder where they are?"
"Maybe the giant squid finally grew tired of being a slave for Dumbledore's underwater carriage and rose out of the water and ate them all."
Millie rolled her eyes.
"Or maybe they're just tired after yesterday," she muttered. "But no, you go ahead and think what you want."
"Thanks," said Tyler, ducking as a stray kipper flew his way from the direction of the Gryffindor table.
At that moment, one of the side doors near the high table flew open and Professor Dumbledore walked towards his seat. He looked a little confused but at the same time amused, even after his beard became flecked with red sauce.
He looked like he might be about to say something but he didn't get the chance as that very second, almost like a signal had been sent, the main doors crashed ajar and Peter Pettigrew came hurtling through the air, riding what looked like a stick only it was wriggling about like a snake. Tyler thought it was a very strange broom until Barry later pointed out that it wasn't a broom at all and Sirius Black had been using a levitation charm to control the stick while Pettigrew just pretended to ride it.
That kind of made sense as the poor guy looked absolutely terrified. But he was also wearing a hat similar to those Tyler remembered seeing in Westerns and he was swinging a lasso.
"Yippee Cay-Yay!" Pettigrew yelled (well, it looked like he was trying to yell, it came out like a squeak) swinging his lasso around his head. "I'm a cowboy!"
"What. The. Hell." whispered Millie.
"It's a Muggle thing," said Tyler. "These guys with cool hats, guns and lassos used to ride around on horses and-"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I want to know what possessed him to do this!"
"Possessed, huh?" asked Tyler, rubbing his chin. "Maybe this castle is infested with demons, or maybe the strange occurrences of late are forcing them out of their hiding places to protect their home… SOMEONE GRAB THE SALT! A crucifix wouldn't hurt, either."
"You're so weird," said Millie.
"…duapuluh delapan, duapuluh sembilan, tigapuluh!" continued Barry. "Tigapuluh satu…"
By now Pettigrew had done a lap of the Hall and was turning around for another, headed straight for Professor Dumbledore.
"I'm going to capture this here fellow!" he yelled.
Luckily, Pettigrew didn't try to use his lasso. He simply dropped it and grabbed his wand, before firing off a spell.
"YAH!" yelled Pettigrew when he was done, pointing forward and flying to the doors. "To the horizon! We need a sunset scene to finish the movie!"
And then he flew back through the doors, leaving a very stunned Headmaster wearing neon green robes with purple polka dots and a neon green/pink stripped beard.
After a couple of seconds, Dumbledore shrugged, sat down and calmly began cutting into some bacon. At least this served to break up the food fight.
"Sir!" yelled one of the Slytherins. "Sir, surely that deserves-"
"I've been meaning to change my style for quite some time, Mister Nott," said Dumbledore. "I think this quite suits me, as well as having the added bonus of hiding the grey."
"Awesomest. Teacher. Ever," said Tyler.
"But not very teacher like," said Millie. "Maybe you were right with the demon possession theory."
"Right," said Tyler, sitting up straight. "Right. We're going to need an EMF meter, some salt, a couple of Muon Traps, and then we're going to split up and look for ectoplasm-"
"No, man, ectoplasm is created by ghosts, not demons. Our ghosts are nice."
Tyler nearly jumped out of his skin when Frank Longbottom sat next to him.
"My girlfriend loves that movie," said Longbottom with a shrug.
"I think he meant 'why are you here,'" said Barry, thankfully stopping with the count.
"Oh, I needed to get closer to the Slytherin table. Don't worry, won't be here for long."
"Anyone have an EMF meter?" Tyler hissed, edging away from Longbottom a little. The others just exchanged wide-eyed looks.
Longbottom wasn't paying attention. He was doing something with his wand.
Then every single Slytherin let out a screech and jumped out of their chairs in unison.
"There we go," grinned Frank, pocketing his wand. "Okay, crowd around. Hide me please."
"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME!" screeched a Slytherin.
"I bet this was Black and Potter."
"We'll get you for this! AND LAST NIGHT!"
"Thunderbolts and lighting will not be nearly as frightening as what we're going to do to you!"
"Does any of this make sense to you?" Millie asked Tyler.
"Yes," said Longbottom. "Don't worry though, it's just a game."
"Damn you!" growled Barry. "Not again!"
Longbottom winked and then, after checking that the Slytherins were preoccupied with yelling insults at his two classmates, returned to his own table.
"What did he do?"
"He made me loose The Game again, that's what he did."
"I think he froze the table," said Millie, pointing to the Sltytherins. "Look."
Tyler looked. Indeed, their table and benches seemed to be covered in a thin layer of frost. No wonder they'd jumped up so fast.
"Man, I'd glad the Gryffindors don't have it out for us Hufflepuffs," said Tyler.
"I don't think its just the Gryffindors though, the whole place has gone whacky," said Barry. "I mean, the trip down here was evidence of that!"
"What?" asked Millie.
"Oh, of course!" exclaimed Barry. "You guys live down by the kitchens - of course you don't know! Well, we have charms first, I'm sure you'll be able to-"
Barry paused as Alice Prewett ran out of the hall, a large black dog on a leash pulling her forward at a rapid pace.
"Anyway," he continued, shaking his head, "You'll see eventually. But that-" he nodded to where Prewett had disappeared - "just proves my point. The whole place is crazy."
As it turned out, Barry was right. The whole place was mad, as was evidenced by the huge, vaguely human shaped pile of bubble gum in the center of the entrance hall. Tyler was sorely tempted to grab a bit, but when Millie reminded him how bubblegum got all sticky like that he thought it best to just leave.
Then they discovered what Barry had meant about the difficulty of getting down to the Hall. There was a massive queue of people trying to get onto the Grand Stair Case because it seemed like whenever anyone got half way up just one flight the steps would turn into a slide and send them shotting back to the ground.
"That happened to you the whole way down?" asked Millie.
"Awesome," said Tyler.
"Not awesome," said Barry. "I swear my trousers are worn as thin as McGonagalls patience and my feet hurt from braking. But I bet going up is going to be a whole lot harder."
As it were, several people were installing tactics from the previous morning - namely brooms and levitation charms. But the levitation charms were dangerous, so there were prefects left and right casting cushioning charms.
"I want to know where the hell the teachers are," said Barry. "Aren't they meant to help with this sort of thing?"
"I don't know how to cast a levitation charm yet," said Millie. "I keep getting the incantation wrong… and we still haven't had any flying lessons."
By now a couple of older students who had made it up were throwing down stepladders and conjuring small wooden staircases from various levels, but neither looked particularly brilliant for someone afraid of heights. One happy Gryffindor (no names will be mentioned… but he might have been the Head Boy) had created some sort of platform with rope and a pulley system, then pointed his wand at the rope, said 'ascendio' and shot up to the fourth floor in no time.
"Excuse me," said a voice, pushing through to the front. "No, please - let me through, I'm the Head Girl!"
The red head of Lily Evans appeared near the foot of the stair case. Then, proud as you please, she walked up the stairs no problem. Hestia Jones followed after her and had the same result.
"Great, you fixed it!" called Amos Diggory, surging forward.
He made it half way up before it turned into a slide, causing him to fall flat on his face and he shot head first back to the floor.
"Bloody brilliant," said a familiar voice, and Tyler turned to see Frank Longbottom and Remus Lupin not far behind him. "How'd you do it?"
"It's pretty simple, really," said Lupin. "The founders built the school so of course Gryffindors portrait in Dumbledore's office knew how to do this… and all I did was transfer over a spell used in another part of the castle, I didn't introduce a new spell entirely to the building."
"Makes sense I guess," said Frank. "Now come on, don't want to be late for our classes. What've you got?"
"Herbology," said Remus, winking.
"Damn, lucky you," and Frank. "No wonder you were so good with stairs, you don't have to go up them. I've got Muggle Studies first up."
It didn't take the students long to figure out what was going on with the stairs. Only girls could go up, like the ones in their dorms. That left the boys to use the other methods. But that was okay, it meant Millie could use the stairs and the two boys used one of the wooden sets, reminding themselves that the cushioning charms would protect them if they fell.
On their way to the Charms classroom, they heard banging coming from a broom cupboard.
"Demon?" Barry asked hopefully.
"Hope not," said Tyler in a horrified whisper.
"Oh for Merlin's sake," said Millie, reaching for the handle.
"No, don't!" exclaimed Tyler. "Come on, we're going to be late."
That Millie listened to, and they rushed to their classroom.
When they got here it was to see a very odd sigh indeed. The Head Boy was lying on his side, one hand on his top hip and the other supporting his head - the type of position one might take when at the front of the group during a photo shoot. Tyler had done that enough times.
But never on a teacher's desk
And never in nothing but his boxers.
Too stunned to do much else, the three took a seat along with the rest of the class, sitting speechless and strongly hoping they were wrong about the possession thing.
When the door opened again, they all looked up in hope hope that Professor Flitwick had arrived.
"Hello," said Potter in a low voice. "I've been waiting for you, sexy."
"Potter!" screeched Lily Evans as she closed the door behind her. "Get down from there, put your clothes on and then go to your own class."
"Yes Ma'am," he said with a wink, doing as she asked. Well, the clothes bit. Then he went and sat down. The rest of the class was still stunned, a testament to the fact that the class was made up of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws and not Gryffindors and Slytherins.
"Now, class," said Evans, "I have heard you are learning the levitation charm - something that would have been useful this morning, I'm sure. Now, can anyone tell me the incantation?"
"Oh, oh, oh, I know!" cried Potter, sticking his hand in the air and bouncing in his seat at the front of the class. "Pick me, Miss, Pick me!"
"Any one else?"
"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" yelled Potter.
"Correct, although I would prefer if you waited until I called on you. Besides, you should not be in this class - please remove yourself."
"Can't do that, Jackson's Law of Transfiguration states that it is impossible to use a vanishing spell on yourself-"
"And can anyone show me the wand movement for this spell?"
"I can, I can, PICK ME , oh I am so enthusiastic, Miss, I really am, I just want to learn I really do and I know the answer oh Miss can I please get extra credit oh please oh please oh please oh aren't you proud I know the answer, Miss?"
"Mr Potter, please-"
"Oh you picked me! YES! The answer is like this, Miss- swish and flick! You get that? Swish and Flick. You gotta be careful you don't flick and swish because that could have disastrous consequences and your object might go down instead of up and then it wouldn't be a levitation spell AT ALL-"
"Do you have another question, Miss? Ask it, Miss, ask it, I'll answer it I'll answer anything I'm ready ready ready oh! Miss please I just want to LEARN-"
"Would everyone please pull out their wands and begin practicing the spell!" shouted Evans.
"OH A PRACTICAL TEST I AM SO EXCITED!"
"There are feathers in front of you to work with, and remember to pronounce the spell correctly-"
"DON'T DO WHAT WIZARD BARRUFIO DID CHILDREN, HE WAS NOT WELL EDUCATED. LISTEN TO THE PROFESSOR AND LEARN THE CORRECT METHOD OF SPELL CASTING!"
"Yes, thank you Mr. Potter. Now if you would like to practice the spell-"
"Wingardium Leviosa! I did it, I did it, I did it! Do you see Miss, my feather is floating! ITS FLOATING I'M SO PROUD I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY MISS!"
Needless to say, not much learning was done. The Ravenclaws complained (and were ignored) but the Hufflepuffs, for the most part, found it much more entertaining than doing work.
And Tyler constantly checked for ectoplasm, wishing that he could find an EMF meter that worked within Hogwarts' walls.
They'd only done the first class of the day and Barry was so done. He'd even given up on his favorite game - The Game - which is a fun little challenge where you loose every time you think of The Game. He'd been doing well but after those stupid Gryffindors had mentioned it he couldn't get it out of his head.
Then there was the whole thing with the stairs and if that wasn't bad enough, after Charms a suit of armour had thrown a balloon filled with paint at him and he didn't know any cleaning charms so he had to get all the way back up to his dorm to change his robes.
On his way he went past that broom closet again but he thought it best not to open it. Not that he believed in those silly little Muggle things of Tyler's but it didn't hurt, right?
He'd made to the right floor when he heard a scream.
He raced around the corner to see what was wrong only to collide with Professor Alby, the first teacher he'd seen all day. Alby was the divination teacher, and he wouldn't have even known what she looked like if she hadn't taken to wandering the halls around the Ravenclaw Tower when she needed to 'feel the auras of wisdom' or whatever.
This time though she looked like she was in a bit of a rush.
"Death, Murder," she screeched as she scrambled away from Barry. "There is a Darkness roaming these halls!"
A bark sounded from around the corner.
Alby paled, and then ran off again. Just then a large black dog barreled around the corner, still barking and looking like it was having the time of it's life. It paused for moment and glanced at Barry as if to say, did you see which way she went? But then it shrugged like it didn't care as it knew anyway and then bounded off again, just before Alice Prewett came around the same corner.
"Jimmy!" she yelled. "Oh for Merlin's sake, Jimmy come back! This is ridiculous, LEAVE THE NICE LADY ALONE!"
"Are you alright?" asked Barry.
"Oh yeah," said Prewett, gasping for air. "My dog's just a little… excited right now… JIMMY HEEL!"
A bark sounded in the distance, and with a groan Prewett jogged off.
A couple of minutes later and Barry finally, finally made it to his common room. But even there he was met with an odd sight. There were several sixth and seventh years (who must've had free periods) sat on the floor outside the entrance, all talking and arguing and writing things down on a pieces of parchment.
"Um, excuse me," said Barry. "Would you mind letting me past - I have to get in."
"Oh, good luck," growled one of the girls. "I'd like to see you do it."
"The riddle," groaned one boy that Barry recognized as a prefect. "It's horrid!"
"No, we can solve it!" exclaimed another. "It'll just take a bit of thinking, is all."
"We've been at this for an hour, Miranda, and I'm still as confused as when we started," said the first girl.
"Maybe a fresh young mind is what we need."
"I think he hasn't got a chance."
"Let him try."
"I need to get into my room!" wailed yet another boy. "This is terrible! Someone get Dumbledore!"
"That would be smart," sighed the prefect, "But he went back to his office after breakfast and the Gargoyle won't let anyone in. Something about a moustache, I don't know, it wasn't making much sense."
Deciding to ignore the older students and at least hear the riddle Barry dodged all their parchments and moved towards the door.
However the second the knocker started to talk his stomach dropped to his shoes.
"In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours and in each house lives a person of different nationality. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, use a different wand and keep a different pet. Here are fifteen hints to help you:
1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps rats as pets.
3. The Dane drinks pumpkin juice.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks firewhisky.
6. The person who has a Yew wand rears owls.
7. The owner of the Yellow house has a hawthorn wand.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks tea.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who has a holly wand lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps toads lives next to the man who has a hawthorn wand.
12. The man who has a willow wand drinks butterbeer.
13. The German has a wand made of beech.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who has a holly wand has a neighbour who drinks water.
"But the question is… Who owns the hippogriff?"
"You have got to be kidding me."
"Oh no, kid, it isn't. It won't even let us guess - Miranda tried that, it said that unless we were one hundred per cent sure it wouldn't let us in. So come here. Sit down. Join us."
"I'd get comfortable if I were you. We might be here for a while."
So Barry sat on the floor and grabbed some parchment, noting with relief that one of the other had thought to write the hints down.
Maybe Tyler was right. Maybe the castle was out to get them.
Either way, something was going on. And it couldn't be anything good.
Don't worry if your suggestion was only mentioned. I am going into more detail next chapter. Also, in case you're worried, back to the Marauders in the next chapter! I just wanted an outside perspective, like in the DW eps Love and Monsters & Blink and the SPN ep Bitten.
~Hellfire Putten Ninja suggested the whole 'I lost the Game' thing.
~happysmiles500 suggested both the stairs to slides thing and James answering the questions in a 1st yr class (though I might have made him more enthusiastic)
~Uniquely X suggested something that was mentioned, but I haven't elaborated so that'll be acknowledged in more detail next time.
~BluebirdiexD suggested Peter's dare with the cowboy thing at the start and half the colour change of Dumbledore
~HarryCriesForDumbledore suggested the other half of Dumbledore's colour change
~CoralFlower suggested both Frank freezing the tables and the bubblegum thing which will also be elaborated on, don't worry
~bambiaj99 suggested James on the teacher's desk
~Laugh Poor Weasley and Blue Luver5000 and Master Noble suggested something that is very obvious but not yet completely hashed out so I'm also leaving that for next time. Hellfire Putten Ninja suggested something similar WHICH IS GOING TO BE USED BUT NOT QUITE YET
~RosesandThorns11 suggested that they Gryffindors teach classes (also not quite done)
~The last riddle belongs to Albert Einstein. I don't think it's actually that hard but I figure it would be awful hearing the knocker give you that one if you hadn't heard it before… can you just imagine? (UPDATE 27-07-14: Riddle changed slightly to make it more Harry Pottery.)
And I think that's it! Hopefully I'll update again soon, if not prepare yourselves for in late January there will be a maelstrom of updates. Yes. I will stand by this.