THIS IS BEING TRANSLATED INTO FRENCH! I'm quite excited, this is first time for me. There is a link on my profile. Thank you Miisss!
So… I'm not dead. I've just been having a bit of a hectic time at the moment so I haven't been able to write much, and when I have I just haven't been able to write anything funny. So I kept writing sad/angsty stuff by accident, which turned into other stories. Oops. When I did write for this I wrote other dares for when the game returns to normal, which obviously i can't post yet. But here's your next chapter. It feels short but I thought you guys would rather short than an even longer wait.
Sorry guys, and thanks for sticking with me. I really hope this will encourage some of you to stop trying to figure out how to smuggle a pitchfork on a plane to Australia.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else recognizable. (I'm pretty sure I stuck a few references in here at some point.)
FRIDAY MORNING: A Dog and a Grim Lesson
"I hate this stuff," groaned Hestia, rubbing her sticky hands on the inside of her robes. "It never comes off!"
"You're the one that picked the ground floor," said Lily.
"Yes, but Sirius is the one that came up with this bloody dare!" growled Hestia. "Damn Protocol Thirteen to hell!"
"Protocol or not, Sirius was always going to give out that dare eventually."
"I haven't even finished it," she groaned, putting her head into her hands before recoiling in horror. "Oh for the love of - now it's on my face! It is, isn't it, Lily? Tell me my face is not covered in pink gum?"
"Your face is free," laughed Lily, "But Drooble's Best seems to have made it's way all over the back of your robes."
"Oh for the love of-"
"Hey, at least you didn't have James in your class for the past hour. That was torture."
"Oh yeah? You try making a statue look like Slughorn, let alone one made out of congealed gum - do you know how hard it was to get it all wet enough to use?"
"You didn't chew it all, did you? Because that would be-"
"No, I used aguamenti. But I still had to mould it around! Do you know what I had to do to keep it out of my hair? Cling wrap, Lily, cling wrap. I looked like some kind of monster! Not to mention-"
"Alright, alright," laughed Lily, "Calm down. We have to be at class soon."
"Correction: you have to be at class. Remus allocated me a free space here, since the statue doesn't even look human right now."
"Well, that's okay. I don't think Slughorn even is human," said Alice, walking up beside them and panting like she'd just run a marathon.
"Oh hey," said Lily. "How's the dog walking going?"
"Well, I don't even know where the bloody hell Jimmy is," Alice groaned. "He keeps running off, knocking stuff and first years over and bitting at the Slytherin's ankles."
"Jimmy?" asked Lily.
"He wanted to annoy James," said Alice in exasperation. "He knows how much James hates that name so he decided to have the name himself, so he can see James cringe every time I use it. But he won't answer to anything else and there is no way I'm using his real name. But I'm just glad none of the teachers are about, I'm afraid they'd vanish him and be done with it."
"Alby is still awake, since she left early last night," said Lily.
"Yeah, but Sirius has been keeping her busy," said Alice, cracking a smile. "That almost made the whole thing worth it. Almost."
"Are you going to take him to class?" asked Hestia.
"Well, I have Care of Magical Creatures next. Thank Merlin I had a free period a moment ago, Jimmy was running around like crazy. Way too excited about this, if you ask me."
"Hey, speaking of teachers," said Hestia, "Has anyone noticed Filch yet?"
"There were three first years hanging around before my Charms class earlier," said Lily. "I think they thought it was a Boggart though, or something like it."
"Good," said Hestia. "I don't think a few more hours are going to make much difference now, not while he's been locked in there all night already. He's going to be just as angry whatever we do, and it'd be good for him to be out of the way until at least I've finished the statue."
"Peter's suits of armour haven't used up all their paint bombs yet, either," said Alice, showing the other two a large blue splotch on her side. "I forgot where they were and ran right through without a shield. Damn dog didn't get hit at all."
"At least you'll be less suspected, since you're now a victim," said Hestia. "It's like with the stairs - everyone suspects the Marauders because, well, you know, but because it only affected boys everyone thinks a girl did it."
"Remus was smart there," said Lily.
"I think this whole thing is ridiculous," groaned Alice. "Protocol indeed. I know we all broke the rules, but since it was all of us couldn't they just let it go?"
"I think it's brilliant," said Hestia. "Although I have to admit the dares could have been allocated better-"
"Oh, let it go, Hest," sighed Alice. "Your dare is nowhere close to being worse than-"
Alice was interrupted by a loud bark, and then a second later Jimmy the large black dog came bounding down the hall, a pair of black trousers dangling from his jaws.
"I don't even want to know," Alice groaned, causing the dog to wag its tail. Then she hesitantly reattached her leash to the dog's bright red collar, which proclaimed him as JIMMY and 'NOT property of Alice Prewett, but she is looking after me right now (a.k.a. giving me food.) Return to Kitchens if found.'
Then the dog started to drag her towards the entrance hall.
"See you at lunch!" she called, and then she was gone.
"Okay, maybe I'm not the worst off," Hest allowed.
"Oh yeah, you'd better believe it," said Lily. "Anyway, I have to go. I just hope and pray that James is not in my class again."
"Don't you have second years now though?" asked Hest. "James is only allowed in firstie classes."
"Oh thank God," Lily said. "There is hope left in this world! Well, okay. Have fun on your Slughorn thing, I'll see you later!"
Hestia sighed in defeat as she headed back down to the entrance hall. In a way, she supposed Alice had been right. The Protocol Thirteen thing was completely ridiculous and she wondered how many bottles of fire whisky the Marauders had drunk when they thought it up. Although saying that, this was the Marauders she was talking about. One block of chocolate would have been enough for Remus; James and Sirius were mad enough anyway and Peter would have just gone along with it like always.
But whatever the case, it was absolutely mad and only the Marauders would ever be able to not only think up the concept of something so epic, but even consider the fact that it might work.
She thought that the idea of being caught would not have entered their minds. Not because they're stupid, but rather because they simply didn't care. Maybe they even liked getting caught. Back in fourth year Sirius and James were talking about setting an all time record for the number of detentions served during seven years in Hogwarts.
James had to have planned this whole thing. Well, him and Sirius. They must have known rules were being broken and held their tongue, just for this purpose. And then after last night…
You see, when Sirius had told Hestia that her prank must be approved by James, she hadn't been suspicious at all. Obviously Sirius just wanted a great prank and, being Sirius, did not believe a girl could think one up. So he wanted it to have Marauder approval. A little annoying, but not anything unusual.
When James suggested the slight alteration to her prank despite seeming initially in awe of it perhaps made her wonder, but not much. Being a Marauder, James would want to give the prank as much flare as possible and since covering the inside of all the taps in that particular bathroom with a strong but slow acting sleeping potion gave the prank an added bonus of there being no teachers in the morning she assumed it was simply James' way of 'jazzing it up'.
Especially when it meant there was no punishment for their musical debut in the Slyrtherin common other than a couple of cuts and bruises since all the Slytherin Prefects had been too busy firing off curses (using both meanings of that phrase) to think of taking away house points.
However, she did have to admit it was brilliantly thought out. All the staff (except for Alby) came into contact with the potion when they wet their hands, but it was not dangerous since it would not cause them to fall into a deep sleep until several hours later, when they were asleep already. Madam Pomfrey would not be affected as not only was it counteracted by the awakening potion she took, but it would be completely washed off of her hands by the strong disinfectants in the hospital wing before it began to work. Similarly, the disinfectants Filch used to clean the corridors would wash it off his hands, making him available for pranks in the morning.
James had admitted later that Dumbledore would, of course, notice, but being such a good sport he would most likely not mention it to the others, only washing it off his own hands to make sure the school did not erupt into a total Lord of the Flies (as dubbed by Lily) type battle ground. That made him also available for pranks in the morning.
In fact, it was so well thought out that Hestia might have called the two Marauders absolute geniuses if it hadn't led to her building a life sized statue of Professor Slughorn out of bubble gum in the entrance hall.
Actually, the entire night had been quite stressful. First there was the Doctor Who and her dare and then the whole Peter-Fell-Off-The-Astronomy-Tower spectacle. After that Remus had shown them Protocol Thirteen and then they were just sprinting around their allocated levels of the castle like madmen and women trying to get everything done.
Hestia reached into her pocket and pulled out the sheet of parchment she had acquired last night. On the top was Remus' description of the Protocol along with her list of allocated pranks. She had completed a good many of them the night before, but it still seemed like she had hardly made a dent.
At the top of the parchment, the words 'Protocol Thirteen' were written, the capital letters pressed in so dark she figured Sirius must have made his capital letter speech many times before. Under that was a block of text.
Hestia almost put the parchment back in her bag because she really did not want to read that thing again. As it was, when the words 'everyone', 'pranks', 'floors' and 'allocate' popped out at her she got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, even though it had only taken the one look to practically memorise what it said the night before. Or early that morning. Earlier. Before.
Whatever, any way you looked at it still led to the same result. In the early hours of Friday morning the Gryffindor seventh years had all crowded around Remus, shouting out any pranks they could possibly think of while he scribbled them down onto parchment. All pranks were then divided by the floor they would be set off on and then each student was given a floor to 'sort out' as well a number of the left over pranks, and their roles in the pranks that would take multiple people to operate.
Then, they went to work. (And they also tried to wipe the second part of the protocol from their minds, that was just to horrible to contemplate.)
Portraits of founders were consulted. Ghosts were interrogated and sworn to silence. A certain poltergeist was bribed. Items were stolen. Pets were relocated. Buckets levitated, paint bombs filled, armour animated and lessons planned. It was a wonder that they fit it all into one night, although the awakening potion probably helped.
It was such a wonder that many found it difficult to believe. However, they all knew the Marauders were masters so simply shrugged it off as another amazing victory (or not, depending on the perspective) for the gang of Gryffindors.
But the actual reason as to why it was so difficult to believe was because they hadn't got it all done at all; about half the pranks were still ongoing.
Which was why Hestia was standing in the entrance hall covered fingers to elbows in bubblegum.
The statue was slowly taking form, starting to look more like it should rather than a huge pink blob, becoming easily recognisable as professor Slughorn. She pulled pieces of the gum apart to create the strands of what little hair Slughorn had on his head, rolled up balls for eyes and pressed flat eyelids over them and pulled out a hair pin to help her shape the lips.
Finally the sculpture was completed, but Hestia smirked as she added just one more finishing touch. Just in time, too, for as soon as that was done she could hear the whoops and screeches of hundreds of students sliding down the staircases.
After all but diving away from the pile of pink goop Hestia dashed into a small alcove, cursing at the bubblegum that refused to pull away from her arms. She could have just vanished it, but in doing so she'd have to grab her wand which would then get covered and vanishing something off a wand is very difficult - which is exactly why the wand-polish companies make so much money.
Luckily, she made it into the alcove unseen, and even managed to muster up a smile when she heard the gasps from the students as they recognised the sculpture for what it was. Let Sirius never again say she was a bad artist.
It was almost worth having to pick all the gum off the bottom of five hundred desks. Damn Lily to hell for only suggesting a summoning charm after an hour of horrifiying work.
She would pay for that.
But then, no doubt she was having a hell of a time anyway.
Alice was not having a good day. Sure, that notion might have been a little overused by now but it was incredibly true. You try chasing after a hyperactive and extremely excitable dog with an in depth knowledge of the castle's secret passageways on minimal sleep. It is not fun.
Not to mention the fact that they were now so late for Care of Magical creatures she might as well just not bother going at all.
There was no way it could get any worse.
It was so bad, in fact, that it completely over rid her common sense and allowed her to actually feel relieved when the damn thing stopped in middle of a hallway, his ears cocked and his nose twitching in what was later recognised as excitement.
"Oh, thank Merlin," she gasped, placing her hands on her knees and panting. "Just let me catch my breath for a sec, will you? Not all of us have four legs."
Not a second later and her arm felt like it was being ripped out of its socket as 'Jimmy' took off like a rat out of an aqueduct. As she tried to regain her balance Alice managed to spot a fluffy tail slinking around a corner.
"Oh bloody hell," she growled, stumbling. "Can't you contain yourself for just a couple of minutes?"
The answer seemed to be a no.
Mrs Norris had not been having a good day either. She had spent a good portion of the night before trying to hide from the giant-black-hungry-monster-dog that had forced her to retreat to the high-branch-rafter-wood-beam while all the two-legs-big-pink-no-fur-s had ran around in circles beneath her. Sometimes the two-legs were really silly.
But her two-legs had tried to make her come down and she had wanted to, he was very nice and gave her food after all, but the giant-black-hungry-monster-dog had been there. She wasn't going to risk it.
Then, this morning, her two-legs had gone into one of the square-cave-smelly-rooms and hadn't come back out. She'd searched for hours for him, and then she couldn't open the wood-barrier-door. So she went to find help.
Now though, she was being chased again. Chased by yet another dumb dog, a bouncy-giant-sharp-teeth-dog. There was one of those annoying kitten-two-legs being towed behind it, but the kitten-two-legs was doing nothing to stop the bouncy-giant-sharp-teeth-dog. She was too weak. Stupid thing, why didn't it get help?
But Mrs Norris had enough. She was a cat, for goodness sake, she wasn't going to be chased by something as low and inferior as a bouncy-dense-dog. So once she had turned a corner she stopped. Turned. Waited.
She was patient, just like the regal being that she was.
She didn't have to wait long.
The second the huge-bumbling-bouncy-sharp-teeth-dog came barrelling around the corner she simply swiped out with one graceful paw, dragging her claws down the creatures' face.
The effect was instantaneous.
The stupid-inferior-crazy-mongrel stopped running and yowled in pain, rubbing a paw across its nose. His sudden stop caused the kitten-two-legs to trip over him and go flying to the floor, and in turn caused the injured-unhappy-unintelligent-dog to be dragged by his rope-restraining-lead and yowl once more.
Satisfied, Mrs Norris stuck her nose into the air and trotted past the two stupid creatures, tail held high.
She was better than them, and now they knew it.
I was wrong, thought Alice, groaning as she shoved Sirius away from her and staggered back upright. It could be a whole lot worse.
Mary always falls asleep in Divination. But really, who doesn't? It's like the nap time that everyone wishes were in school but seems to unfortunately stop when you hit the age of 5.
But, you know, with added homework.
Nevertheless, Divination is always odd, always strange, yet still managing to keep up that 'always' and therefore it held a certain level of predictability.
But not today. The first clue was the fact that Alby was actually there, making her the second professor Mary had seen since yesterday's astronomy lesson. Then there were the constant references to death.
Sure, it seemed like a requirement in divination to predict the death of every fourth person you saw, but Alby actually managed to seem worse today. Plus, she was kind of off her game. She wasn't even creative in her use of death omens; she just kept going on about the Grim.
Most of the Muggleborns in the room didn't seem to know what she was talking about, because really who pays attention in divination? The only reason they were now was the sheer fact that it was almost refreshing to see a teacher and know that something horrible (such as death eaters kidnapping and killing them all, a thought that had crossed her mind despite seeing Dumbledore that morning) had not happened. But they didn't seem to understand how a giant black dog could mean something so awful (beside the obvious 'that dog has sharp teeth') and were having difficulty understanding why Alby was so terrified.
But to be fair, Mary was sure she had seen a giant black dog earlier in the day… what if it had been the Grim after all?
Marlene, always the skeptic, had spent the lesson jotting down ideas for their prank on a piece of parchment. They still hadn't gotten around to doing anything, something that both relieved and disappointed her. She didn't want to get in any trouble, not after this week but at the same time it sounded fun.
Maybe they could break into the Marauder's dorm and put something on them when they were asleep? Or they could slip something into their bags, or into their food… something that wouldn't be tied back to them. Something they could sit back and laugh with everyone else, secretly giggling as they knew exactly what had happened and no one else did. It would be great.
Unfortunately, Marlene's plans seemed slightly bigger and not so discreet. She seemed to be focusing more on the concept off-
"Is it just me, or is it getting cold in here?" asked Marlene, placing her quill neatly on the desk and interrupting Mary's train of thought.
"Uh…" now that she thought about it, Mary realised the room didn't feel quite as warm and stuffy as usual. "Yeah, you're right, it is."
"Oh good, I was kind of worried that they had slipped something into my goblet this morning."
"I was wondering why I was actually able to concentrate. Guess the temperature helps."
"Concentrate on what? You haven't written any notes."
"Children, please pay attention to my teachings," said Alby gesturing at the two of them. "However, you are correct, the room does appear to be increasingly frigid."
"Freeeeaaakkkyy," whispered Marlene.
"This probably means we're all going to drop dead in a moment," added Mary, equally quiet.
And sure enough:
"…cold seeping under a door clearly indicates that there is a horror lurking on the edge of your life…"
"This sucks," sighed Marlene. "I could be doing something so much more productive."
Then everyone's heads snapped to the door as it creaked open, a white mist seeping though the crack.
"Oh Merlin," whispered Boot, "This can't be good."
"It has to be just another prank," muttered Amelia Bones. "It has to be."
"Still mean's it isn't going to be good," Boot replied.
Meanwhile, Alby seemed to have degraded down into a state of terror. Her face had become pale and clammy, her eyes much wider than usual and her hands were shaking.
A low howl sounded from outside the door, and someone screamed faintly, yet when she looked around Mary couldn't tell who it was.
The temperature seemed to drop a little further, and the door creaked open revealing a tall, dark figure cloaked in shadow.
"Oh my Merlin," squeaked Teresa Belby. "It's a Dementor!"
"Don't be silly," snapped Amelia. "A Dementor couldn't get through the wards."
But the students confusion over the dark shape was quickly forgotten as a smaller shadow detached itself and walked out of the mist in the doorway, a low growl sounding in it's throat.
"The… the G-G-Grim!" exclaimed Alby, pointing a trembling finger. Then the terrified expression quickly faded from her face as she fainted.
Someone screamed. The purebloods and half bloods were shaking with horror.
Then the larger dark shape came forward, and someone else screamed.
It was easy to see how it had been mistaken for a Dementor, this tall, cloaked figure. However, when one looked closer it was easy to see the differences - the hands that poked from the sleeves of the cloak were not rotten and slimy but clean white bones, and in one skeletal hand the figure was grasping a long staff topped with a curved blade…
"It's the reaper!" screeched Tasha Brown. "The Grim Reaper, come to claim our souls!"
"Two Grims at once?" called Teresa, a halfblood. "What have we done to deserve this?"
"Oh for goodness sake, I expected more of Ravenclaws," muttered Marlene. "It's so obvious it's Black or Potter under that cloak."
"Some people are simply irrational," sighed Mary. "Thought you have to admit it's a good idea."
"A bloody stupid idea," muttered Amelia Bones, joining them when she realised they were also unmoved by the spectacle. "They've almost killed Alby and turned the rest of the class to hysterics."
"A lesson of why you shouldn't take Divination," sighed Mary. "Guess it's a better lesson than we've had in the class ever before."
The 'Grim' was by now growling at many of the students in turn, causing them to run through the now empty doorway. The Reaper meanwhile was swinging its scythe around, standing above professor Alby and looking slightly more comical than scary. It seemed like most of the students were merely running because, as Mary had thought before, large black dogs with long sharp teeth were quite menacing in their own rite, death omens or not.
Pretty soon the class was almost empty, and the dog turned its teeth on the three girls.
"You haven't bitten anyone else," said Amelia, sounding brave although some sweat had appeared on her forehead. "Why would you bite us?"
The dog growled louder.
"Oh very scary," said Amelia, hands trembling but voice steady. Mary wondered what she was doing before she realised - the dog was blocking their access to the door. There was no way for them to leave the room whether the dog wanted them too or not. "Bite me if you want then. Go on."
The growling stopped immediately, and the dog cocked its head at them. A couple of seconds later it snuffed in what sounded suspiciously like disappointed before wandering over and lying down at the foot of the -
Was the Grim Reaper laughing?
Never mind that. The three of them quickly got out of their seats and left. Not because they were scared, of course. They had a free period now, who were they to stick their nose up at it?
Meanwhile, Alice pulled off her dark hood and the spelled dress-up-gloves that Remus had worn at the Halloween feast a month before.
"Well that failed," she said. Sirius glared at her.
"Oh come on, you didn't really think it would work, did you? The only ones you fooled were Brown and Belby, and I think even Belby got her wits back at the end. Why anyone thought that would work…"
Sirius gave her as much of an annoyed look as a dog could muster before gesturing at Alby with a paw.
"Oh yeah, okay, that was funny," Alice allowed. "But that was all. Oh well, time to head down now. Finally, this stupid dare is nearly ending."
Sirius seemed to be doing his best to look disappointed, but he didn't seem to be able to stop his tail from wagging.
Maybe he was just excited about his next dare. Well… Alice might be having a little bit of fun, but she could not wait for the moment when she could lie down and actually get a moment of sleep.
But not yet.
After shoving Sirius into a broom closet, Alice made her way to the table and it was all she could do not to lean down and close her eyes. Instead she ate. She knew she'd need the strength.
Why is it always me that gets these stupid jobs? Frank wondered as he stalked down the steps. First Fang, then a hundred owls last night, several cats (don't they know cats scratch?) and now this!
When Frank had first started at Hogwarts he decided he was going to be good. He didn't want to face his mother's wrath otherwise. He would study hard, achieve great grades and never get in trouble. Before this, he was happy to state that he had only seen the inside of the headmasters office once, and that was when his father had died. (Admittedly, not a happy occasion, but what he means is he'd never been called there for misbehaviour.)
But apparently that one visit was enough for the marauders to claim that he knew where it was, and then he was sent there with the password to deal with a very grumpy, moustached gargoyle who didn't really want to let him up in the first place, steal a phoenix and then come back down only to hear the gargoyle screaming more insults about insolent Gryffindor students who thought they ruled the castle.
It was not fun.
At least he got some sweets out of it. They were just sitting there, all shiny and yellow and tasty looking, so he grabbed them. He figured he couldn't get in more trouble for taking sweets than for taking the bird, so where was the harm? Also, the phoenix came quietly. It almost seemed excited, like it thought it was going on an adventure. Well, Frank had heard that phoenixes are very good judges of character - perhaps it could tell that Frank did not want to harm it. He wasn't even stealing it, not really - he was just going to put him in the kitchens for a little while in order to distract Dumbledore. But still.
He wasn't the Marauder's official animal fetcher. The next time they asked, he'd be pointing a finger at James. He had plenty of pets at home, surely he could do a better job.
By the time he reached the kitchens I was almost time for lunch and the Elves were a little annoyed to be disturbed while they were piling food onto the tables, but they were happy enough to say they'd look after the phoenix for a little while. Not that it needed looking after - the moment he'd gotten through the door the phoenix had left Frank's shoulder to steal a tender piece of chicken from the table under the Hufflepuffs and then t flew up onto a high shelf to eat it's prize.
Easiest dare ever, thought Frank as he headed back up the stairs. And yet, he couldn't help but be a little bit worried about what Dumbledore might do to him when he discovered that his pet phoenix was missing. Surely the irritated Gargoyle would be willing to tell the headmaster exactly who had had stolen him, and while many of the portraits in the hall were game to help the previous headmasters and headmistresses seemed a little more strict and gossipy…
Yeah, he was done for. But weren't they all after this whole spectacle?
When lunch rolled around, James was relieved. Very, very, very relieved. His dare was over. There might be more to come, but that one was done.
Now, James wasn't really one to be embarrassed, but acting out in all of the first year classes had been awful. Worse than the Hufflepuff thing, really.
But walking into lunch was great. He had a little bit of a reprieve until his next dare, so he would be able to enjoy it.
He smiled at Lily trying to hand out some kind of Muggle device in the entrance hall-
"Here, take this," she was saying, holding out small, clear cylindrical pieces of plastic to everyone. They were filled with something blue and had slight points on the end. "Come on, it will make your school life fifty times easier I swear, and cut down essay writing time dramatically."
-and smirked when he saw something yellow roll out of the conveniently placed broom cupboard. Then he strode through the doors, sat down at the table and began to eat.
Bliss. Quiet, peaceful bliss.
Then the doors slammed open and Sirius came running through the hall grasping a basket full of lemons.
"I AM LIFE!" He yelled, plucking a lemon out the basket and lobbing it towards the Ravenclaw table. "MWAHAHAHAHA! Fear me!"
Students ducked as lemons began flying everywhere.
"ALL BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHTY POWER OF LIFE! I WILL THROW LEMONS AT EVERYONE!"
It was a testament to how the week had been going that everyone simply kept eating, at least until Alice sighed and stood up on the table, looking a little battered from her exciting morning but no less energetic.
"Oh my Merlin you guys!" she exclaimed. "Have any of you noticed? Surely you have. You MUST have, being the intelligent Hogwarts students that you are."
The students exchanged blank looks with their neighbors.
"LEMONS!" Sirius screamed.
"Dumbledore!" Alice yelled, ignoring Sirius. When she received more blank looks, she frowned, and called out again, waving her arms about. "You know… Dumbledore! Or rather, the lack of."
Several students glanced to the staff table and noticed that yes, there were no teachers there at all this time.
"He's gone to a mystical land called Middle Earth for an adventure!"
Some of the Muggleborns giggled, while some of the more gullible purebloods looked on with growing excitement.
"Lemons?" asked Sirius weakly, chucking another one towards Alice. But it fell short, and again he was ignored. Sulking, Sirius went to sit back down.
"He's forming a team, you see!" Alice continued, "There will be dwarves, and a hobbit-"
"Don't be stupid!" exclaimed Boot. "Hobbits went extinct hundreds of years ago-"
"They're going to go after a dragon and recover the dwarves' lost home!"
The general consensus among the students seemed to be that no one knew the dwarves had lost their home. They'd seemed pretty well-off during their revolt at the Belgium v. Poland quidditch match the year before.
But Alice was not deterred.
"They're going to drive the dragon away, find the gold and save the day!" she chanted.
By now most people had stopped paying attention and had gone back to eating, but it only lasted for as long as until Miranda Worthington, a Ravenclaw seventh year, burst through the door yelling at the top of her lungs.
"IT WAS THE GERMAN! THE GERMAN! THE GERMAN!"
All the Ravenclaws immediately stood up and began cheering, jumping up and down ecstatically.
"What on earth was that about?" asked Frank.
"No idea," James replied. "Strange lot, those Ravenclaws. Very strange indeed."
Lily sighed as finally sat back down. They had half an hour left. Half an hour.
In between the running around of that morning everything was being sorted. Everything was being put into place. They were getting ready for it.
The big one. The final plot, the Last Great Achievement of the Marauders and Friends, as Sirius had dubbed it despite being only halfway through the year and having three more days left of this infernal Game.
Mind you, James said the name changed near daily. The Final Judgement, The Ultimate Design, The Grande Finale, The Conclusion But Don't Worry There Will Be An Epilogue - but whatever he called it, the idea remained the same.
And apparently, today was the day it was going to be implemented.
Lily thought that this morning might have been enough of a Wide Prank (as 'officially' named by Remus) but no, apparently that had just been 'lots of little ones stuck together'. To be classified as he type of 'Wide Prank' that Protocol Thirteen called for the prank needed to cover the entire castle simultaneously, be merged entirely into one and include members of the entire group in equally important roles.
This was going to be very Not Fun.
The others disagreed. They thought it would be amusing (although Lily had a feeling that Alice had since changed her mind about that one.) Either way, it was going to be tiring.
Oh so tiring.
And even worse… the teachers were coming back.
This could go one of tow ways - either they would pull it off and get in trouble, or they would not pull it off and get in trouble. But after the past week… how could it get any worse?
Well… Lily really should have taken a lesson from Alice.
It can always get worse.
I AM TAKING SUGGESTIONS FOR THE 'WIDE PRANK'.
I do have some ideas already but if any of you have anything better I would love to hear it! If I decide to use your idea I'll send you a preview of one of the dares or truths I've already written for when the story goes back to normal game rules.
(NOTE: Previous chapter has been updated again at the request of my sister who thinks a Muggle riddle is not acceptable for the Ravenclaw common room. Solution remains the same though - congrats to all of you who figured it out!)
~CoralFlower suggested Lily hand out Muggle pens and Sirius throwing lemons at people while claiming to be Life and Hestia building a statue of slughorn out of gum (although my sister asked that I make Hestia pick the gum off the bottom of desks)
~UniquelyX suggested locking Filch in a cupboard
~Phoenix Call asked that someone steal Fawkes
~…and georgianicolexxxsuggested someone steals Dumbledore's sherbet lemons
~Laugh Poor Weasley suggested that Sirius be a Dog and Alice pretend to be the owner.
~Blue Luver5000 also asked that Sirius be a dog, but added the suggestion of him chasing Mrs Norris
~Master Noble asked that one of the Animagi go around in their animal form. Sorry it wasn't for 24 hrs, but I need Sirius for other things.
~Hellfire Putten Ninja suggested that the two Grims invade a Divination class
~StormwalkerofLorien suggested that someone needed to claim Dumbledore was taking the place of Gandalf the Grey
As always tell me if I missed you, I didn't do it on purpose and I will add you immediately.
Thanks again to all of you who have stuck with me and reviewed! You guys keep me going. You're all awesome.
(One final thing. I'm thinking of also posting my stories over on AO3, something I've been putting off for a while. What do you think?)