Title: Guide me out of the nightmare
Author: Vicky
Category: angst, romance
Summary: He had been her light in the dark
Spoilers: The Real World (3-06)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own neither the show nor the characters. I don't earn any money; I just do it for fun.
Claim: John/Elizabeth
Prompt: Light in the Dark
Author's Note: This prompt called for a fic around that episode. And yeah, this is something I wanted to happen in the show. ;) Written for writers30days in April.

He had been her light in the dark.

She hadn't known it at the time, and it was only now, hours after she finally woke up, that she realised it. He was the one she had kept seeing, the dark silhouette she couldn't identify and was scared of. It had been him all along, trying to coax her back into consciousness with his words.

In the end, he had saved her, risking his own life and sanity in the process. He had helped her wake up from the nightmare the nanites had stuck her in. She didn't know if she could have done it without him. She knew from what Carson told her, that she had been losing her battle with the nanites when he risked everything for her. Without him, she would probably still be unconscious, trapped in a world that wasn't hers.

Afterwards, when he accompanied her back to her quarters to make sure she would get some rest, she tugged him inside with her. She didn't want to be alone, not right now, and when she started kissing him and he didn't push away from her, she knew she wouldn't have to be, tonight.

As she moved into a more comfortable position, she felt his naked body pressing against hers from behind. He had succumbed to sleep mere minutes after they had sex, and she didn't have the heart to wake him up to tell him to leave. He had a long day, between dealing with the City on his own, and trying to find a way to save her, and it wasn't like she was going to sleep anytime soon; not only wasn't she sleepy, she just didn't want to sleep at all. A part of her was worried that she was still under the nanites influence, and that she was still in her nightmare.

That feeling wouldn't leave her anytime soon, but she hoped she would be able to cover it well enough; she didn't want Carson to order her to go talk to Kate.

She would deal with all this, eventually, she had to believe it, but it didn't mean she wanted to talk about it with someone, anyone. It had been the worst thing she had to live through so far, and she just wanted to forget it, and not try and find words to voice her feelings.

An arm wrapping around her waist and lips kissing the back of her neck jolted her from her thoughts.

She turned around slowly to find a half-asleep John watching her. Despite her mind telling her that what happened between them was just sex, she couldn't help pecking his lips when she saw his look. He wanted more though, as he held her in place with a hand on the back of her neck while he kissed her thoroughly.

She wanted to push away from him, to tell him that it wasn't what she wanted from him, but as the kiss progressed, she felt all her resistances and objections falling one by one. He was slowly convincing her using his most powerful tool.

She growled when the kiss came to an end, and felt him smile against her lips at her reaction.

She opened her eyes, and as she was slowly regaining all her senses, she realised once more that what was happening was a bad idea. They shouldn't do this; they couldn't do this. She was his boss, and she knew that the IOA would have something to say about that.

"We can do this," he whispered, as if he had been reading her mind. "We're stronger when we're together."

"If that isn't one of the worst cliché..."

"I know, but it's still true. Look at what happened today."

He was right of course. If he hadn't been there, guiding her out of her nightmare, she would still be trapped in it.

But it still didn't mean she agreed with him about the rest.

"Let's take this a day at a time. Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero," he quoted, which surprised her. "My parents made sure I knew the basics."

"I can see that."

"I don't ask anything from you, Elizabeth. But we're allowed to want something more."

He kissed her once more, long and slow, and she stopped thinking, and concentrated on the feelings his touch and his kiss elicited. Stop thinking, just feel; how many times had she told herself the same thing, but ended up not doing it. This time though, she wanted to be able to. As he pushed her onto her back, and covered her body with his, she realised it might be easier than what she thought when they were together like this.

She wanted this man, of that she was sure, but she just wasn't sure if she had the right to want him.