Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Yu Yu Hakusho gang. They all belong to the Yoshihiro Togashi crew and whoever else helped with the show's creation. I only own the perverted nonsense about to spawn randomly by the all perverted Yoko Kurama.

Author's Rant: Alright everyone since I gain some great reviews for 'Dear Fool' I've decided to try another 'Dear such and such' series. Only this time Yoko Kurama will be sending out some highly perverted letters explaining his perverse desires for his team mates. Of course all of these will be one-sided interests. The others are going to be pissed. ^_^ I'll be putting in the proper ratings for each chapter in my warnings.

Warning: This chapter is Rated M for a reason. A high level of yaoi mention. Don't like don't read. Very naughty thoughts displayed on paper. So no underage readers please ^_^.


Dear Hiei,

Since the time of our first acquaintance in the dark tournament, my thoughts have been plagued with ideals of ravishing your tantalizing body.

Of course, I'm sure this may come as a speechless shock to you as read these words written by yours truly but I cannot deny what I have since wanted of you for so long.

Yes I am aware of the utter powerful radiance my enchanting beauty that seems to fall in the tastes of males and females of all species. You will no doubt be any different in the obvious attraction towards me and easily fall victim to my charismatic charms. It's a curse I am happily blessed with that will ensure my formulated plan of forcing your miniature body in my bedding, to become a success.

During those nights of cooled evening under the stars I've watched the sweat glisten off of your peach tanned muscles, slowly pearling down the curves of each crease till dripping off the small of your back into a world, I shall soon plunge my raging manhood in.

Yes I know your sexuality doesn't stray towards the same as your own gender but I can promise after a night of having my flaming wood in your scorching fireplace, you will think otherwise.

The way I've seen you grasp the hilt of your katana from the top to the steeled halt resembles the exact feel of my own fingers reaching down to clamp over the burning knot stiffening in my pants as I imagine you withering beneath me.

Soon you will also grace my hot hard-on with the curl of those fingers and swing and stroke it just as you would when combating an enemy. Yes my stony blade of fleshy desires will soon replace the praise you used to only hold dear for your sword.

Be grateful that Inari has graced me with the willpower of a Class S demon that I never think to act on my desires and rip those naughty pants off juicy thighs concealing a forbidden sin.

The sight of blood that slides from the minor cuts of self-infliction reminds me of the same crimson goodness that'll fall from your puckered hole once being forced to engulf the sheath of my dick in its entirety. The mixture of your beautiful ruby fluids shall mesh handsomely with the sight of my creamy goodness pouring down the inside of your thighs.

As you know, your name represents the shadows of darkness, however it will soon be a forgotten title as the only label I shall allow to leave from your rosy lips is mine. Your voice will tremble with a hoarse rasp, as you scream 'Yoko, Yoko has returned they cry.' Ah it will be a name to be remembered by all who hear your delicious voice, bellow it over the rising valleys of Makai.

I shall relish in your heavenly cries shrilling to the skies upon our bonded climax over and over again until you reach an inhuman octave loud enough to break the thickest crystal. The finishing stage will come in the hum of your angelic purr burrowing in the span of my chest as I hold you contently under my arm and we rest the night away under the stars.

How can I imagine such things of you, you wonder? This is no fault of mine for I blame you for being the delectable disease that happily flits from tree to tree like a bird of paradise. Yes, yes a wondrous Eden I shall soon deflower of its glorified innocence.

You think I'm not aware of your lack of male occupants? I've learn of such a fact from my other half and yes it'll be a problem soon rectified upon my return to you again.

I blame you for reducing the Almighty Yoko Kurama for being forced to withhold his sexual greed of tearing your sumptuous body to shreds. Yes I blame all of my shameless perversity on you.

It is you who enjoys prancing around with the top portion of your clothing gone.

It is you who delights in showcasing your fiery spunk when defying us all.

It is you who dares to convert the ruby glint of your eyes to a sizzling glare when looking upon me.

You think these flirtiest things will go past unnoticed? Or are you content on purposely teasing me with something you believe I won't steal for my treasures? Don't fake ignorance of this my pet. You obviously wish for Yoko Kurama to pursue you in the most devious of fashions. Your sacred treasures will be mine to command.

And yes by treasures I speak of the vermillion pearl clasped between your tightened folds. It'll be claimed in the same vicious motion as my Vine of the Binding Fist stabbing through my prey. A thought I'm sure arouses you as evident as the surfacing tent sticking from my hakama.

Why must you publicly deny your affections toward the silver fox, Little Fire Spark? The spouted verbs of heated rage from your smooth lips, only furthers my desires to own you.

Ah, yes those gorgeous lips. The very same pair that will someday milk the very seed, I plan to spill into the sweeten heat of your cavern. You will wail in agony from the overflowing rivers of bitter creams pouring from your insides as the slushed pop of my knot eases away from your body.

Be cautious of my Glorious Knot of a Thousand Wonders, Little One. Yoko Kurama's knotting prick is no small delight. I easily rival that of the largest demons during intimacy. Don't believe me? Don't worry. It's a fact I'll soon rectify in the throes of our upcoming passion.

As much as I rave in writing more and more of my upcoming mirth of taking you, it is time I take my leave of describing my visit to molesting that charming package, gift wrapped nicely for me. I thank you for being so kind as to keep my goods from the prying eyes of any other potential competitors. It wouldn't be an honest deed if you so evilly displayed out my values for others to see now would it? I, Yoko Kurama, could not dream of another tearing away at your untouched bud shall be fertilized by my salty seed alone.

For now I shall have completed explaining my claims for you in this letter. Though it may be forever and a day before I receive a response because of your fetish for darting to and fro between trees, I look forward from hearing from you soon.

So all I will say is run run, run little one for one day I will catch you and the peached petals of your squeezed lusciousness.

Signed Your King of Thieves

Yoko Kurama.

P.S. Please excuse the small white stain laced on the corner of the page. My last letters were met with an unfortunate 'accident' of a pre-ejaculated mistake and this one was the only survivor to miss the blunt of my heightened completion.


TBC: Yes I know, this wasn't exactly funny, but work with me here. The funny letters will come from the RESPONSES Yoko receives from the people who RECEIVES these perverted letters lol. Stay tuned for Hiei's reaction ^_^