Hey everyone! So basically I was bored at school being bored and I wrote this little fic because the idea just randomly popped into my head. No femlash but there are innuendos throughout. Enjoy. Reviews very much appreciated. ^_^


A castle that has been standing for over a thousand years has many, many secrets. Secret doorways, dangerous old books, skeletons and teachers in the closets and such like. However, the most spicy secret was the shower that the teachers had for themselves - with HOT water! Needless to say they got rather impatient to use it on cold Winter days.

Imogen was in the shower, singing her all-time favourite tune, "YMCA", when the door opened with a crash.

"Miss Hardbroom!" Imogen exclaimed, grabbing her towel as she covered her "unmentionables".

"Imogen!" Constance exclaimed, "What on earth is going on in here!"

"I'm just having a shower, Constance."

"I heard wailing and thought somebody was dying."

"That was me singing."

"Oh. While I'm with you, I'm very sexed with you."

"Excuse me?"

"I mean vexed! I'm sick of looking at your equipment."

"Then leave and don't come in again".

"But then Miss Cackle and I can't do it together".

"Do what?"

"Evaluate each other's performances."

"I didn't think you and Miss Cackle saw so much of each other."

"Well, I do work under her; it's in the job description."

Imogen was catatonic from shock.

"Imogen, are we on the same level?"

"I certainly hope so, Constance."

"Then get it all out."

Imogen tightens her grip on her towel.

"Get what out?"

"Your kit. If you refuse, I'll do it myself, with or without your help."

"Aren't there laws against that kind of thing?"

"Certainly not! One sees it necessary to clean off the cobwebs and leave a clean passage for the Grand Wizard!"

"Miss Hardbroom! Isn't he too old for that kind of thing?"

"Imogen, what is your problem with taking your bulky exercise equipment from the staffroom into your room?"

"Exercise equipment! Staffroom? Thank goodness!"

Forgetting herself, she leaped out of the shower, forgetting about her towel also, and hugged the tall deputy head with sheer relief.

"Imogen! You are making me get all wet!"


She looked and saw that the water went and wet Constance's dress.

"I shall have to have it off now," she moaned.

Imogen realises she's in the nip and quickly grabs her towel.

"Have what off?"

"My attire."

"Not here, please! I'm not ready to take things to the next level!"

"I thought we were on the same level."

"Apparently not."

"Imogen, excuse me if I'm incorrect, but I feel that this conversation has turned, in the words of modern youth, 'kinky'."

"I'm glad we've sorted that out, Miss Hardbroom."

"Rather, it is very amusing, amidst disturbing that you see me in that way. I think your nudity has my mind distracted. I shall go and drink a nice, fresh cup of tea. I have some erecting to do."


"Correcting! I mean correct some exams! My, what a pair you have, I mean we are!"

Constance begins walking out slowly and clumsily.

"Good bye, Miss Thrill, I mean Miss Drilling….Drill…Miss Drill."

Imogen stands still for a few moments before resuming dancing in the shower.


Well, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it and please, please review if you enjoyed it. ^_^ Thanks for reading! xXx