Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: ...This IS /vp/. And Dr. Suess, apparently.
The Cat In The Hat whistled as he was walking around a volcano, humming to himself as he stopped and snapped his fingers.
"You know, this reminds me of a tale... of two strange popular creatures having sex!" The Cat in the Hat exclaimed as he twirled around, laughing as he extended his arms out while rhyming, activating the story itself. "Oh yes, and it contains a very palpable hex!"
Weavile was playing another round of Go Finneon with his two bestest friends Maractus and Gliscor, who were losing as usual. Weavile chuckled as he took in the huge amount of Pokedollars, tossing the yellow coins and green dollar bills around as he laughed heartily.
"Damn! You won again." Gliscor demoaned as he shook his head, dropping his cards in frustration.
Weavile laughed as he patted Gliscor on the back. "Mah boi, I always win."
Maractus scowled at Weavile, shaking her right arm at Weavile, the needles quite sharp. "Yeah, well count yourself lucky you're a good cardsman, Weavile."
"Who said I was good at cards?" Weavile replied as he placed his hands around the back of his head after pushing all of his earned money away in the safe. "I just enjoy playing games, y'know."
"Yeah, totally." Maractus snarkly replied as she rolled her eyes.
A wide, shit eating grin appeared on Weavile's face. "Hey, you're the one who got fucked by that certain red, greedy bastard from Bikini Bottom."
Maractus shuddered with great distraught. "Don't... remind me..."
Gliscor chuckled as he ate some jelly filled donuts. "Heh. So you flatter Maractus. But you're not excused for being used as reaction images all over the Internet."
Weavile eyed Gliscor wearily. "Do I need to remind you that you have a hard on for Ash Ketchum?"
Gliscor frowned as he dropped his fourth donut. "...That's a good point. Well made."
Weavile got up and stretched his arms as he scratched his ass. "Right, then. I'm gonna go get some exercise." He left the room, heading upstairs.
Gliscor and Maractus, both rather upset with Weavile, both sighed in annoyance, as they agreed that Weavile was a jerkass.
"Want to go fill Weavile's private corner with CD-I Zelda?" Gliscor suggested.
Maractus smiled as she pulled a Fat Pikachu doll right out of her ass. "Personally, I prefer the hotels. Get da hint?"
As Weavile entered his own bedroom, he was completely shocked to find Meloetta on his bed. The Normal/Psychic, green haired female Pokemon was sitting on Weavile's bed, cuddling Weavile's pillow as she giggled, slightly blushing as a faint smile appeared on her face. Weavile's right eye twitched, prompting him to pull out the red feathers from the top of his head.
"What the fuck are you doing in my house?" Weavile exclaimed as he stomped towards Meloetta, slapping her across the face. "Let alone, my own bedroom?"
Meloetta rubbed her injury with her right hand as she still smiled. "Oh Weavile, I can't resist you. Your furry body is so elegant, and your black fur makes me tinkle inside."
Weavile stared blankly at Meloetta. "Makes you tinkle inside-" He slapped his forehead and groaned. "Who the hell writes this shit? This is George Lucas Tier!"
"That's, that's Chaos Theory," Jeff Goldblum stated as he watched from the open window, pointing at Weavile and smiling.
Weavile grabbed a brick and tossed it at Jeff Goldblum, knocking him out of the window.
"That happened quick, can't you see?" The Cat in the Hat exclaimed as he popped his head in the very same window. "No one expects anything in this story, not even me!"
Weavile then pulled out Pokemon's Farting Bianca and stuffed the cat in the hat inside the gassy human girl's fart filled big butt, stuffing the flatulent human Pokemon Trainer into a nearby cannon and setting it to full blast at the ceiling, sending her and the CAT IN THE HAT blasting off again (ding).
Meloetta squirmed with the pillow as she continued giggling innocently. "Y'know, Weavile... I always wanted to see how big your cock was..."
Weavile stared oddly at Meloetta. "Are you implying that you and I should... you know..."
"She's implying that owls are birds," Noctowl stated as he rolled his eyes, standing on Weavile's right shoulder. "A load of Bouffalant Shit, I tell you what."
Weavile slapped the Noctowl's shit as he used ICE PAWNCH on the owl, causing Noctowl to die. Weavile then turned to face Meloetta, placing his hands on his hips.
"Listen, I'm willing to sex you up..." Weavile started as he placed his right hand on Meloetta's shoulder. "But first, I gotta get wasted. You don't mind, do you?"
Meloetta lowered her eyes as she gave Weavile a seductive stare. "Me and my tuba butt will be here all night, big boy."
Weavile rubbed his hands together as he chuckled. "All right, then. You and me, Meloetta... we're gonna have a good fur day. Hehehehehe."
"Oh boy, I can't wait." Dry Bowser sarcastically commented as he was doing janitor duty, with Weavile and Meloetta glancing at each other awkwardly as Silver The Hedgehog came in to polish their bodies up, while R.O.B. began tidying up The Room (oh hai math).
Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble were watching from the window, on a tree branch that was a few feet away.
"Hey Fred, how come we can't get the girls acting like that anymore?" Barney asked as he ate some gwiwwed cheebs.
Fred shrugged as he rubbed the back of his gigantic head. "Well, Barney, this is just like the time when we made horrible Family Guy jokes."
Insert Cutaway Gag Here