Hey guys. This started as my friend Rosie writing crack fic, and then me editing it completely as it was entirely crack, and apparently "turning it to gold" then continuing it and finishing it. What. I might continue it [with smut obviously] if enough people ask. For now I'm too lazy XD

Blaine sat there, staring at Kurt. But only because of how fascinated he was by the shape of his jaw and the way his eyelashes brushed his porcelain cheek, not because he was a pervert, just really interested in memorzing the lines of his face. It took him a moment to realize that Kurt had begun to eat something.

"What's that?" Blaine questioned. It was a rather long and thin type of candy, red. But it couldn't be licorice because it was smooth all the way round.

"A red vine Blaine," Kurt told him offhandedly, rolling his eyes. Sometimes his boyfriend was rather blind to the finer things in life. He seemed to avoid anything that was actually good or interesting.

Leaning up from where he was on the floor, Blaine perched his chin on the edge of Kurt's bed, looking up at him. Kurt shifted on his blankets, staring at his boyfriend quizzically.

"Huh? I've never had one. Can I try it? You know how much I like candy!"

Kurt stared into Blaine's doleful eyes, amused. He was reluctant at first, because he was pretty sure this candy was not to his standard, being as rich as he was. But Blaine was his boyfriend, and he loved his boyfriend. His mind started going on it's own tangent, thinking about his boyfriend. Who is handsome. And short. And not hobbit short, just shorter than him which was attractive to him because Kurt liked short guys for some reason he didn't know why. Shaking out those thoughts, he merely shrugged and slipped a vine out of the garish blue package. The plastic crackled noisily and soon the soft candy was within Blaine's grasp.

He bit into the sweet then paused.

Blaine knew something great had begun in that moment. Something so catastrophically wonderful and completely magnificent that there was no true way he could even begin to describe the way he tastebuds were reacting. This candy, which shouldn't be called a sweet at all but rather some sort of magical concoction, had pretty much attacked his senses.

"THIS REDVINE IS FUCKING DELICIOUS."

Kurt was unprepared for his boyfriend's somwhat unordinary reaction.

"Err, I like to think so."

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THESE?" Blaine screeched, reaching out his arms to grasp Kurt's shoulders tightly. He shook him slightly. "AND WHY HAVE I NEVER TASTED THIS BEFORE?"

"Erm, because I didn't think you'd like it. They're just Twizzler rip offs, you know? Cheaper." Kurt was slighltly put off by Blaine at the moment. His hazel eyes were wide and anxious, curls framing his face like a soft, dark halo; he was completely beautiful.

"But it's so good." His voice came out soft, almost feathery, caressing Kurt's ear in a way that should not have sent shivers racing down his spine, but did. It was nearly a moan

Kurt had to bite his tongue to keep from saying, "Not as good as you." He wrapped one leg over the other, demurely crossing his ankles while skillfully dragging the bag of Red Vines over his crotch. Now wasn't really the time. He grabbed another red vine before Blaine's reaching hand could come anywhere near the vicinity of his source of embarassment.

"Hurry on now, give it to me!" Kurt ducked his head down, trying to hide his blush at the way his words could have been interpreted. He took the red vine from Kurt and slipped it into his mouth, sucking the end before consuming it lustfully. A fistful was quickly awarded and he grinned.

"Blaine, I'm guessing you really like them?" Kurt could feel himself getting harder with every lick and sound that came forth from his boyfriend's mouth as he ate the candy.

"Mmmmm," he said, tilting his head to left. Kurt's eyes followed Blaine's jaw line, quite similar to the way Blaine's had followed his not much earlier. Kurt could barely control himself at this moment, all he wanted to do was reach out and grab that head of curls and pull him into a breathless kiss. He was trying to remember the year before when he had to kiss Brittany and how turned off he had been at the experience, to try and cool himself down. But it was to absolutely no avail, as he just kept picturing Blaine in the cheerleaders place tasting explicityly of redvines. He was neither in the mood to embarass himself, nor to ruin his favorite jeans. Although, if he had to ruin a pair of jeans this would one of the best ways to do so.

Blaine reached out and grabbed the Red Vines, pretty sure he imagined the lump between his boyfriend legs and saving himself the embarassment of literally glancing to find out. Because if he wasn't than he really had no way to explain leering at his groin. He opted instead to childishly fling out his arms and race from the room imitating an airplane. Kurt took this moment to "think of the mail" before getting up from his bed. It helped to make it a little less obvious, and he cursed himself for wearing such skintight jeans.

Following after his boyfriend, he rolled his eyes dramatically and complained. "In the name of Alexander McQueen, and we both know I don't use his name lightly, where are you going? And why are you making me walk to get there? You know how I like to relax on the weekends!"

He followed him up the stairs and out of the basement, pausing to adjust he jeans before he began his search. Five minutes later he found his boyfriend laughing under the kitchen table, and Kurt was so glad that no one else was at home because he didn't want anyone seeing his boyfriend act like he was five [or him feeling like a fucking pedophile at the moment]. Blaine was finishing up the red vines.

"Can I have one?" he asked, looking up from under his eyelashes and licking his lips slightly. He was starting to get hard again.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Blaine said, grinning like the puppy he was. Oh god, he was getting hard and Blaine was acting like a puppy. Did that make him into beastiality or something? Trying to dissmiss the thought, he went back to persuading Blaine for a red vine. Yes, a red vine was exactly what he wanted.

"Lets share it then shall we?" Kurt was beginning to become impatient with Blaine's obliviousness. He imagined saying, "How would you like your RedVines? On their own or with a side of Kurt?" And then gracelessly throwing himself at him.

"They're far too good to share." He winked at Kurt, and Kurt's mouth dropped into a little "oh", imagining many things that were too good to share. Instinctively, he leaned into Blaine beneath the table, who suddenly grabbed his hand and dragged it to his crotch, where he was equally if not more aroused than Kurt. "Kind of like you." He'd known all along.

Decidedly, as much as Kurt wanted Blaine right now, he was going to play mean. For the past fifteen minutes Blaine had purposely drove him insane; it was his turn now. He snatched one of the few remaining red vines and bit into it delicately, raising his eyebrows in that dramatic arch only his perfectly plucked brows could seem to accomplish, and moaned.

Their eyes locked for a moment, only a moment, before Blaine's latched onto the red vine, staring at the way Kurt's lips pursed around it, sucking gently every now and again to hold it in. He pictured him holding on to other things in his mouth. Teasingly, Kurt ran a hand down Blaine's crotch, and then Blaine cracked. He couldn't take all of this at all. The candy, Kurt's eyes, Kurt's lips, Kurt's hands, the sounds that came from his throat, none of it.

Blaine could stand singing in front of hundreds of people, he could stand up against Kurt's bully, he could confess his love to this boy, but in no way could he handle restraining himself when Kurt was before him doing decidedly wicked things with his mouth.

He leaned forward, wrapping his tongue around the end of the candy, then slowly bit into it and moved his way to the real treat. Sucking the last bit of red vine in, he barely gave himself a chance to swallow before his mouth found Kurt's. Kurt moaned beneath him and tasted faintly of red vines, but more like his own unique flavor than anything else.

It was a soft taste, elusive but overly pungent. A taste he never wanted to forget, one he always wanted in his mouth. Nothing was sweeter than Kurt, his favorite candy.