So I pulled an all nighter with ThirteenXSeventeenXNineteen and she ditched me so I decided to write a Looney Toons fic. The new stuff. Its seven in the morning and I'm not tired.

It's Daffy/Bugs, in Bugs' point of view, because he's obviously the better man here. I wouldn't say its super duper gay here, but there's just a hint of it somewhere in here. Oh, and my yogurt is called Bible. Here we go.

I hated Daffy Duck, (Daffy Dick, as Taz called him when the duck was being rather sarcastic or rude) honestly. Yeah, we were not best friends Don't best friends know shit about each other? Yeah, he forgot my birthday. Which was last week.

He's an annoying fuck up who mooches off his friends and doesn't give 100 percent.

Why he lives with me, I'll never know.

Maybe it was just how we were kids when I let him crash here. Now, in our early 20's, well, nothing's really changed. I was 19 and I just saved up enough cash with Speedy to buy this great house. (Did I get a discount because I did the previous owner?) Then, Daffy came stumbling into my life again, after I told him I wanted him our of it for good.

Of course you want to hear why I wanted him out. Long story short- he was kind of drunk and did my girlfriend. He did two of my girlfriends and then came up to me sobbing and in need of a place to stay, and I let him in like he was my best friend. But he wasn't, I was just lonely, (and Speedy wasn't exactly around all the time) and Daffy was the perfect pathetic guy who would love to be Bugs Bunny's best friend.

But I didn't let him. Because he still did two of my girlfriends and used me.

So for the next two years, Daffy Duck still lived in my house, ate my food, drove my car, forgot about birthdays, didn't do his laundry, and didn't get a fucking job. But why did I let him live with me?

It bothered me, the fact that I didn't have the nerve to kick him out. But maybe it bothered me more that I didn't want to. Maybe it bothered me that if he wasn't here, a part of me would shrivel up and die. A vital organ. My heart, or maybe just a chuck of it.

But I'm sick of Daffy going around, saying I'm his best friend and chauffeur.

I hate Daffy Fuck so damn much. I hate everything about him. I hate his messy habits, his annoying pathetic-ness, his feathers, the way he's so innocently naïve about everything, the way he gets us all into trouble, the way he raises his eyebrows and curves his beak into a nervous smile when he breaks something, and the way I think its so damn cute.

Wait- what?

Am I going to admit this to myself now?


I will.

Daffy is that one person in your life who really screws you up, and drives you mentally insane. Everyone has that one person who treats you like complete garbage but you still like just because they treat you like garbage.

Maybe its just playing hard-to-get, or maybe I'm up for a challenge.

I want to get rid of him, break him piece by piece, kick him out of my house, and live perfectly. And maybe I'd see him on the streets and give him a dollar or two for a taco at Taco Bell.

But no, I'm not kicking him out. I sat outside his door, and thought.

I love him.

But of course Daffy isn't gay.

But who cares?

I most certainly don't, despite my feelings for him.

Because I hate Daffy Duck, and he is not my best friend.