Hellllo! So, this is just something that came to me. I'm starting this and another story for when Playlists is over. Even though I kind of want to continue Playlists into season 3, it'll all depend on how it goes and how I feel about it! If I get a good vibe from S3, then maybe I'll write a Playlists: On Repeat or something! Lol
Anywho, this is set in the future, 10 years after our beloved girls have graduated from high school. You can consider it AU I guess, but all of my flashbacks and stuff will come from the seasons and from Playlists, so if you haven't read it yet, you should! It's not extremely important because the flashbacks will be self-explanatory, but it couldn't hurt either!
So off topic, ANYWAYS! This is just a small first chapter to see if you guys like it or not. Let me knowww!
Brittany stood in front of the mirror in her old bedroom, staring at the reflection looking back at her. She felt like this was the first time she had taken in her appearance in a long time. Her blue eyes, which used to be so bright, now carried a grayer shade behind them. Not quite as blue and not quite as innocent as they used to be. Her hair, still long and blonde, wrapped gently around her face in a soft tangle of waves. Her face, still beautiful, carried a more mature look, not the normal goofy grin that used to grace it so often in the past. Her body, which was still the body of a dancer, was hugged tight by a midnight blue strapless dress, formal, but nothing too overdone; still city like, but also appropriate for the occasion.
She was older, 10 years older to be exact, and this was the first time she had stepped foot in Lima since the day after high school graduation. She had left as soon as her graduation party had ended; kissing her family and friends goodbye and going to New York City to fulfill her dream of being a dancer. It was her dream. It was something she had wanted since the day she had stepped foot in a dance studio and she had lived it. She went to NYU on a full dance scholarship, but only stayed for a year before getting a job at the tender age of 20. She was signed with an agent a year later and blew onto the music and dance scene as one of the youngest in the industry.
She did Broadway, Off-Broadway, concerts, T.V., everything. She had everything. She traveled around the world dancing, proving that she was good enough to be taken seriously. She barely kept an apartment in Manhattan; she was constantly traveling and was only there for a couple of days at a time. This obviously kept her from having any type of emotional ties to anyone, which for her, was exactly how she wanted it. Every holiday she had scheduled to do something work related, which kept her from coming back to Lima. She wouldn't, she couldn't, go back there. So her family would travel to her when they could, only staying for a short time before she told them she had to leave again.
She was lucky enough to still have some people in her life. Quinn, for example, who had come with her to New York to also escape from Lima, had been her sole connection to her former life. The other blonde had become a real estate agent, just like she thought she would be, but her customers were corporate executives and professional athletes, not small town single moms in mini-vans. She was making more commission off of one of her pent-house apartment's selling then Britt was making in a year, but that didn't matter to either of them.
They had lived together for 8 of the past 10 years until Quinn met Andy, her fiancé now, and had moved in with him. It was then that Brittany began to feel the loneliness of her lifestyle. At least when Quinn was there she had someone to come home to, but now it was just her and sometimes that didn't seem like enough anymore.
Brittany was quickly pulled from her musing when her phone went off. It was Quinn, making sure she was ready to go and telling her she'd be there to pick her up in 10 minutes. They had decided that they would go together since Britt didn't have the first idea of a date to bring, and since Andy had to work, Quinn was flying solo for the weekend as well. Brittany grabbed her purse, and after one last look in the mirror, she took a deep breath and opened the door, forcing her feet to carry her toward her past.
The school looked almost exactly the same as it had ten years before. Same landscaping, same parking lot, same football field, everything seemed almost untouched by time. The roads that lead to the school were the same, tree lined and beautiful on the warm June evening. Quinn was driving, leaving Brittany free to take in her surroundings for the first time in many years. She took a deep breath and inhaled the sweet smell of honeysuckle; something she didn't realized she missed until that moment. It brought back so many memories, all so similar to the exact situation she was in now. Driving through Lima, windows down, music up, hair blowing in the breeze, and her best friend by her side… Santana by her side.
It was the first time she allowed herself to think about the brunette since she got to Lima. She had intentionally trained her mind to not think of the girl with the tan skin, deep brown eyes, and long brown hair. But now, back in this old place with all of these old memories, she was flooded with images of the girl she left behind so many years ago. The way her eyebrows would furrow together when she was deep in thought, or the way the left side of her mouth would lift with a half smile when she was trying to be brave but couldn't quite hide it. All of these things came back to Britt and it took everything in her to push it all back down and trap it behind the door she had closed tight in her mind.
Maybe she won't be here… maybe I won't have to see her… her thoughts were running wild when they pulled up to the school, and she cringed when she read the sign,
"Welcome Back Class of 2012!"
She never thought a ten year high school reunion could make her feel like the world was closing in around her.
Santana was standing at the drinks table, pouring herself yet another glass of Champaign when she heard a familiar voice behind her.
"Santana mother fuckin' Lopez." She smiled before turning around, still picturing the boy with the mohawk on his head.
"Noah bad-ass Puckerman…" When he smiled that boyish grin at her, she couldn't stop herself from throwing her arms around him and giving him a big hug. It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other just a few months ago, but being back at school with one another made it so surreal and she just felt the need to hug him.
"Whoa now, we can't let everyone think the Puckasaurus got soft these past 10 years, we're still the bad asses here!" He was clearly joking, but it was nice to hear the old Puck shine through every once in awhile, and for Santana, it helped lift her very heavy heart.
"Ten years… weird right? It feels like just yesterday I was fighting your baby mamma in the hallway…" She had to chuckle. Her fight with Quinn just seemed laughable now when back then it seemed so serious.
"But," They both turned to see Finn standing there with his wife, Santana couldn't remember her name, "we were the great and good at this school."
"Ha!"Santana said as she took another drink, "Maybe some of you thought you were… but we all know I was the shit."She still hadn't lost that ol' Lopez charm and after all these years she would let it out when she felt it was necessary. She loved seeing everyone, don't get her wrong, but she had an unease in her stomach that was not from the bottle of Champaign she had already polished off.
Santana was nervous, which was the understatement of the century. She knew why, even though it wasn't until this moment that she let herself think of it… Brittany. She hadn't seen the blonde since the day she left for New York City. Since the day she left Santana behind with no more than a letter explaining how she couldn't do it anymore; how she couldn't do them anymore. Santana's heart clenched when she thought about the drama of it all and was thinking that maybe the blonde had stuck to her word to never see her again. She didn't for a second want to believe her, but after ten years of nothing, she wasn't so sure anymore.
Santana was pulled from her musing when she saw a blonde walk through the door. Get a fuckin' grip! She screamed in her head, It's Quinn, you saw her over Christmas, calm the F down! Quinn had a big smile for the brunette and quickly walked over to give Santana a hug. The blonde showed off her engagement ring and made her rounds to say hello to everyone, only to come back to the Latina's side.
"It's good to see you here you know." Quinn said while staring out at the crowd of classmates that she barely even recognized. "I wasn't sure if you were going to make it or not."
Santana snorted and took another sip from her glass before answering. "Yea well, it's not exactly a long flight from Indianapolis, plus work let me off so I figured I'd make an appearance." Quinn laughed out loud before giving her a small shove.
"San, you own the place, how could you NOT get off work?" She was right, Santana did own the place. She had ended up going to law school at Indiana University after a year off between high school and college. She didn't think college was for her so she put it off; traveling, (and searching New York), and sleeping, (and searching New York), and drinking, (and searching New York some more). She didn't like to admit all the times she had gone to New York City to see shows and musicals, just hoping to catch a glimpse of a blonde dancer that had eluded her for so long.
Her parents were ready to kick her out of the house, so she decided to go to college out of state, picking a good school that had enough people to get lost in. She went to class, made the grades, and was now one of the youngest and most prominent lawyers in the mid west. She opened her own practice after a falling out with a few partners at her first firm, deciding she needed to be able to make her own rules and take on the cases she wanted. She now had several other partners, and amongst them several aspiring law students pining for scraps of attention.
And Santana loved it.
She loved the fact that she had a cup of coffee in her hand by 9:03a.m. when she walked through the door. She loved that when she walked into a court room, her presence alone could win her a case. She thrived off of the fast pace and the even faster talking, delivering opening and closing remarks with a certain wit that only she possessed.
She loved walking into a bar after a day at the office and having happy hour with people that she wouldn't necessarily consider friends, but people she would meet after work for a cold one. And at the end of some of those nights, when the loneliness of her lifestyle would get to her, she could be seen taking a blonde haired blue eyed girl home for a night of hot sex that meant absolutely nothing.
Everyone knew that Santana was gay, but it was not talked about. She was free to have her one night stands without people in the office speaking of it because they knew they would be having their balls for lunch. So Santana continued her lifestyle of court rooms, bar crawls, and the parade of blue eyed girls to keep her satisfied. It was the instant gratification that was important to Santana, not any form of a relationship. She had given her heart up once and refused to let it go again; so instead she continued on her path, working her ass off and occupying her time the best way she knew how.
Brittany was standing in the hallway, still trying to catch the breath that seemed to be caught in her throat. I can't do this, I can't see her. Quinn had refused to let Brittany leave once they had arrived and refused again when Britt had asked her to text her to let her know if Santana was there. It had been the first time that name had escaped her lips in the presence of someone else in a very long time, and it felt rough in her throat and thick on her tongue when it finally came out.
So here she hid, sitting outside the doors of the gym, not wanting to enter but also not able to leave. Her limbs felt heavy, something, as a dancer, she wasn't used to. She knew she couldn't wait forever, and when her phone buzzed, she was terrified of the message.
Get your ass in here B. I'm not waiting around all night. –Q
Leave it to Quinn to tell her to just walk in and see what happens. Quinn was the one person who had stood by her when everyone else had chosen Santana's side. Quinn, who supported her regardless of the situation, was now giving her the only advice she could, get your ass in the here. She knew Q was right; she needed to get in there and face whatever was coming because she knew that this was her only chance to fix her past misgivings.
With a deep breath and all her inhabitations left at the door, she pushed it open and strolled into the gym, preparing herself for an onslaught of something. She wasn't sure what it was going to be, but after all the preparation she had made for this moment, she felt utterly lost as to what to do next.
She stood in the doorway for what seemed like hours, just scanning the crowd near her, not allowing her eyes to drift further out, afraid of what they might see looking back at her. The world didn't stop. No one screamed or yelled. No one even noticed her entrance. Then she heard it, "Brittany!"
Berry. Thanks for giving me a subtle entrance. She thought as Rachel bounded over and pretty much jumped into her arms. They had been working together on and off for the past few years; Brittany being a dancer in a show that Rachel was doing or something along those lines. Rachel had run off to Julliard and had actually become pretty good friends with both her and Quinn, something that never would have happened if Santana had been in the picture.
"I didn't think you would be making an appearance!" Rachel half-yelled in her ear, "Did Quinn come too? I kind of figured you two would be here together."
Brittany was still trying to control her breathing as more and more people began to notice her entrance. Mike and Tina (with a baby bump), were making their way toward her while Finn and his wife (Jesus, how much have I missed?) were also approaching.
"Uh, yea Rach, she's here somewhere. I had to stop at the ladies room on the way in, so I kind of lost her in the crowd." Already telling lies; haven't been here 10 minutes and you're already weaving a web.
"Hey Britt!" It was Mike, who now had her in a bone crushing hug and was spinning her around. "It's been way too long! When did we see each other last? Was it the Phantom tour in Phoenix? Geez, that was like six years ago!"
Mike had also become a dancer, but he and Tina had gotten married and they wanted to settle down, so they moved to Phoenix for Tina's job and Mike opened a dance studio. Brittany had been on tour doing Broadway Across America shows and they just happened to run into each other when she was in town. It didn't bother her, she had always loved Mike and Tina, but it only made her feel more terrible about her life. She had missed their wedding, missed their first daughter being born, everything. All at once a conversation from 11 years prior jumped to her mind.
"….And I know I'll be a bridesmaid at Mike and Tina's wedding... And I'll be anxiously awaiting just like everybody else to see if their babies are Asian too…"
She had missed so much. She was looking around at the smiling faces and realized just how much she had missed. Finn was married. Mike and Tina were a family. She looked over and saw Mr. Schue and Mrs. P standing arm and arm, Emma also with a baby bump. Well, maybe it's Mrs. Schuester now. She thought.
She couldn't believe that she had run from all of this for so long. She had intentionally distanced herself from everyone and now it seemed like she had been the one left behind. They all seemed to have a life, and what did she have? She had an awesome dance resume that in 15 years wouldn't mean a damn thing. She had connections to every major music and dance company in the country, but she had nothing to show for it. Sure, she led a free-spirit lifestyle, but when there's no one there to share it with, it wasn't everything it was cracked up to be. She was alone, and for the first time in a long time, she was feeling that nagging in her stomach, that feeling of regret.
She was brought back to their little circle of friends when Rachel yelled over the music, "Quinn! There you are! Get your butt over here!"
They all turned to look toward where Rachel was yelling, Brittany the last to rake her eyes across the party and toward Quinn. When she did, her heart stopped. It literally quit beating. She had never felt the wind leave her body on its own accord before. She had never felt like her brain was spinning around in her head, making her so dizzy she thought she was going to fall down.
She mentally stumbled over the name of the girl in front of her, but after she got over her initial shock, it was running wild through her brain, Santana Santana San San Santana… All the years of stopping herself from thinking about it and pushing it behind a closed door didn't seem to matter at this moment; there she was, in the flesh, a mere 50 feet from where Brittany was standing.
The blonde felt a familiar tingle run up her spine as she took in the girl in front of her. She was wearing a fitted black dress, cut low in the cleavage and high and tight on her thighs. Her hair was pinned at the side of her neck, letting her hair flow freely over her shoulder, highlighting her high cheekbones and chocolate brown eyes. Brittany's heart had started beating again when she looked into those eyes; actually, it wasn't just beating, but running an all out sprint.
No one seemed to notice that she was falling to pieces inside because they were all making their way toward Quinn and Santana. Brittany, on the other hand, stood rooted in place, unwilling and unable to move her feet any further. She felt like she was in a trance that could only be broken if she looked away from the brunette, from Santana, but she couldn't. She hadn't seen that pair of eyes looking at her in ten years, and her body over road her mind, and she couldn't look away.
Santana had seen her the moment she walked through the gym doors. She saw the way she had stopped dead in her tracks and refused to look out into the crowd of familiar faces. She saw the look of panic that entered her eyes when Rachel had yelled her name, causing anyone near them to look over. She saw the way Rachel jumped into her arms and she felt the way her body tensed when the jealousy coursed through her already high-strung body. She's not yours anymore, she chastised herself, she can hug Rachel forever for that matter.
The brunette could feel Quinn looking at her, but she couldn't look away from the other blonde across the room. "She's still so hot." Quinn said nonchalantly, obviously trying to get a reaction from the Latina, but getting nothing but a snort in return. It wasn't that Santana didn't agree, it was just that 'hot' wasn't the right word. Beautiful, gorgeous, amazing; those were the right words. Because she did look beautiful; her body still moved like that of a 17 year old dancer, full of grace. She did look gorgeous; her makeup perfect, the pout of her lips exactly like she remembered. And she did look amazing; ten years had done nothing to the girl except make her even more beautiful than the day they graduated high school.
Santana couldn't help but swallow hard as she took in the girl who still stood in the doorway, drinking her in as if she was the last sight her eyes would ever see. A shiver ran down her body when she saw Brittany smile at something Mike had said; she wasn't sure if it was a shiver of pleasure or pain, because at the moment, she was feeling both. It was a thrill to see the girl after so many years; but, a familiar ache was stomping on her chest at the same time. She left me… just packed up and left and never looked back... She doesn't want me. I need to stop this.
Santana wasn't trying to be dramatic, she was just being realistic. Britt had left her. She did disappear into New York and even when Santana had tried to get her whereabouts of her parents, they were no help in her quest to find the blonde…
"Mrs. Pierce, you have to know where she is! She's your fucking daughter!" Santana was standing on the Pierce's front porch, tears running down her face and Brittany's note clutched in her hand.
"Santana, watch your language!" Mrs. Pierce had never scolded her before, so this was a change. "And of course we know where she is, and so do you. She's in New York." Santana knew they weren't getting anywhere with this conversation, but she had to press the issue because she needed Brittany. She needed to know why this was happening and she needed more than just a fuckin' note to tell her.
"But where!" Santana had practically yelled at the older woman, her frustration not only evident in her tears, but also in the way her breath was coming in short spurts.
"San," Marcia's voice became apologetic, something that to this day pissed Santana off, "she told us not to tell you. She needs time and she knows you'll come looking for her, so we're not supposed to tell- Santana! Sweetheart, come back!"
But the brunette couldn't hear anymore. She was running. She was running so hard that she thought her legs were going to collapse out from under her. So hard that she thought her lungs would stop breathing and that her heart would stop beating. She reached her car and hit the gas hard, her tires leaving nothing but smoke in the rearview; which was kind of appropriate, considering the love of her life also left in a puff of smoke…
She had actually driven to New York that day. She didn't stop after she rounded the corner by her house, she just kept going. She had her dad's credit card and a full tank of gas, and at the speed she was driving, she could make it to NYC in 6 hours. So she drove, sometimes having to pull over to furiously wipe away the tears that were continuously running down her eyes and blocking her vision. Sometimes she screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping that some sort of release would lift the weight off of her chest, but it didn't help.
She arrived on the outskirts of the city around dusk and that's when it hit her. I have no idea where to even start… she thought as she drove to the train station. She took the train to Times Square, hoping that the tourist attraction would attract her best friend since it was Britt's favorite part of the city. She walked around for hours, just looking through the crowds of people and ignoring the constant vibration of her phone that were her parents calling to find out where she was.
She had looked for her for three days; just wandering through Central Park, Rockefeller Center, Times Square, and any other major attraction. One time she thought she had seen her, but after sprinting down the street, she got within 10 feet of the blonde girl and realized it wasn't her Britt, it was just another blonde hair blue eyed girl who graced the streets of New York City.
What Santana hadn't known, was at that exact moment, Brittany had gone back to Lima to do the exact same thing.
Let me know what you think and if I should continue! This won't be super long, maybe a few chapters, but I kind of like it, so let me know!